Woman's Mother-in-Law Accused Her of Being a ‘Neglectful' Parent for Taking a Bath: Internet Comes to Her Defense
A woman — who is currently "heavily pregnant" with her second child — says she occasionally takes a bath to ease her "awful sciatica," leaving her toddler to play independently during that time
She says her mother-in-law has taken issue with the situation, and even texted her husband to say she is being "neglectful"
The woman shared her story on the community site Mumsnet.com, and it sparked much debate over whether or not the mother-in-law crossed a lineA woman — who is currently "heavily pregnant" with her second child — says she occasionally takes a bath to ease her "awful sciatica," while her 2-year-old plays independently.
She says her mother-in-law has taken issue with the situation, and even texted her husband to say she is being "neglectful."
In a Mumsnet post, entitled, 'Am I a neglectful parent for this?' the woman explains that she is her toddler's primary caretaker during the day, as her husband owns his own business and must be out of the house from about '7 a.m. to 6 p.m.' Additionally, she notes she's been 'suffering with awful sciatica' and intense pain around her pubic area — for which she attends physical therapy.
'Once or twice a week, the pain gets too much and by 2 p.m. I go and lay in the bath,' she says.
The mom clarifies that she always makes sure everything is set up for her toddler to safely play on her own during this time.
'I go around and close any open windows,' she says, adding that all their kitchen cabinets have safety locks.
She also shuts all necessary doors to non-essential rooms, meaning her daughter 'can literally either sit on the sofas, play with toys or go into her bedroom and play with toys in there' — noting that her daughter's bedroom is directly across from the bathroom where she takes the bath.
She says that the final step is to 'put Ms. Rachel or Peppa Pig' on and then soak in the water for 30 minutes.
The mom says that her bath routine recently came up in a conversation with her mother-in-law — and it apparently didn't go over well. While the mother-in-law didn't say anything in the moment, the OP (original poster) says she texted her son — the OP's husband — shortly thereafter to say she thought the baths were 'neglectful,' and that 'anything could happen' during that time.
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The woman says that her husband quickly defended her, telling his mother that she is an 'excellent' mom and that 'he won't have my choices questioned.' However, the OP says she is still feeling upset by all this.
'I've never had my parenting questioned so this has naturally upset me,' she explains, adding, 'Hormones are probably not helping.'
'AIBU [am I being unreasonable] for doing this or do people think there is no harm in it? ' the OP asks at the end of her post.
Opinions were mixed regarding whether or not the OP should feel stressed about leaving her toddler relatively unsupervised — though some commenters said they saw zero problem with the current situation.
'It's absolutely fine. You are literally there with your toddler,' said one person, adding, 'Your mother-in-law needs to mind her own, and good for your husband for sticking up for you.'
"It's fine. MIL [mother-in-law] needs to butt out," agreed someone else.
However, someone else admitted she personally would not feel comfortable leaving her own toddler alone for that long.
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'I could not relax knowing I'm heavily pregnant with sciatica in the bath and my 2 year old is roaming freely. What happens if you hear her cry … Surely getting out of the bath being heavily pregnant with severe sciatica is not something done quickly,' they wrote.
A commenter provided a potential practical solution — while also noting they thought the woman's mother-in-law could do better.
'I would buy a playpen and have the child in the bathroom with me,' they said. 'I also had to be a 24/7 mom because their dad was out from 5 a.m. until late. I used a playpen for times I needed a break or a shower or whatever. It's none of your MIL's business. She can always offer to come and help of course, rather than criticize.'
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