Latest news with #motherinlaw
Yahoo
a day ago
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Worries Her 40-Year-Old 'Big Mama's Boy' Husband Will Never Be Independent
A woman worries her husband, who's a "big mamma's boy," will never be independent In a post on Reddit, she writes that his mom weighs in on everything from his 401k to "what soap cleaner is best" "A few months ago I told him his mother is a dealbreaker, but I'm not confident he will ever truly be independent," she writesA woman says her 40-year-old husband is so reliant on his mom that she's worried he'll never be truly independent. The woman shares her dilemma in a Reddit post, writing, "My (35F) husband (40M) is a big mamma's boy. He hid this for the six years we were long distance." "He needs her opinion in every small and big thing and texts and calls daily (401k for new job, will boxes fit in the car for a move, what soap cleaner is best)," she writes. "The thing is, in the beginning he wasn't like this when we dated in person. He had career troubles and court stuff (due to her) so she stepped in and took over; she has access to all his finances, emails, etc since then (unbeknownst to me)." Now, the couple has been married for a couple of years, and his mom's "overreach" is killing the romance. "He has slowly been trying to untangle himself but things came to a head when we moved recently. I rearranged a busy work schedule to move half our stuff on Memorial Day weekend," she writes. "He was agreeable at first, but then closer to the date I suspect he spoke to her and she shut it down bc he refused to do so." Come moving day, the woman enlisted her own parents to help, and her husband got into a fight due to his car being too full of the couple's belongings. "A few months ago I told him his mother is a dealbreaker, but I'm not confident he will ever truly be independent," she writes. "Another thing is he lacks initiative in housework and has to be assigned tasks. My family thinks I deserve better." Now, she's debating what she should do and taking to Reddit to ask others if relationships can improve despite a meddling mother-in-law. "Has anyone seen an improvement being in a relationship with a mamma's boy or is it better to cut losses now?" she writes. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Reddit users aren't confident the relationship can improve. "You're not imagining it, mamma's boy habits like that rarely just disappear," writes one commenter. "And if she's controlling his finances and emails? That's a giant red flag, not 'relationship growing pains.' You're waiting for a man to show up who's been buried under his mom's thumb for years. Time to ask yourself if you want a partner or a perpetual child." Adds another: "If you feel like you're shouldering all the emotional labor and boundary-setting, it might be time to reevaluate. Consider couples therapy to explore these issues further. Ultimately, you deserve a partnership where your needs are respected." Read the original article on People
Yahoo
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Mother-in-Law Wants to Host a 'First Bath Ceremony' for Newborn, but New Mom Thinks It's 'Nuts'
A woman says her mother-in-law wants to host a "bath ceremony" in which her newborn is bathed before the family "Apparently, she wanted to host a gathering at her house, where the baby's 'first real bath' would be done in front of the family with oils, flowers, and 'grandma blessings,' " the woman writes in a Reddit post Now, other Internet users are weighing in — with some saying the grandma is trying to make it "all about her"A woman whose mother-in-law is "really into tradition" says she's now inventing new ones — and wants to host a "baby's first bath ceremony." In a post shared to Reddit, the woman writes "My MIL (59F) is really into tradition, but sometimes she invents new ones and acts like they're ancient. We had our baby girl last week, and she asked when we were doing the 'First Bath Ceremony.' " The post continues: "I had no clue what she was talking about. Apparently, she wanted to host a gathering at her house, where the baby's 'first real bath' would be done in front of the family with oils, flowers, and 'grandma blessings.' " The woman told her mother-in-law "no" almost immediately. "One, we already bathed the baby. Two, I'm barely walking straight and have no interest in packing up for a ritual invented on Facebook," she writes. But her mother-in-law "flipped out" and "said I robbed her of 'the spiritual connection between matriarch and baby.' " "Now she's telling people I 'disrespected her culture' (she's white, for context) and that I'm 'spiritually hostile,' " she writes. "My husband finds it hilarious but also asked if maybe we could've just let her do it 'symbolically.' I'm tired. I feel like this is nuts." Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Reddit users are weighing in, with one writing, "There is no culture where a ceremony exists to bind the spiritual connection between the matriarch and the baby ... This is just grandma looking for a way to make it all about her." Adds another: "The fact she called herself the matriarch is disturbing." Read the original article on People
Yahoo
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
In-Laws Want to Take Child to First Major Sporting Event, But Mom Doesn't Want to Share the 'Sentimental' Moment
A first-time mom is worried her mother-in-law is stealing all her child's "firsts" In a post published on Reddit, the woman writes that her mother-in-law keeps overstepping, and now she's planned an elaborate first birthday experience for the child But the woman wants to celebrate the child's first birthday with just her and her husband, and is now asking the internet for helpA woman says her mother-in-law wants to take her son to his first big sporting event — but she wants to be the one to share the experience with the child. In a Reddit post, the woman writes that she and her husband welcomed the boy in May 2024, and he's their first child. "All of his 'firsts' have been sacred to me (ie zoo trip, aquarium visit, pic w/Santa, Easter basket etc)," she writes. But her mother-in-law is constantly overstepping her boundaries, she adds. The very first time the couple left the then four-week-old child with the woman for a lunch date, she invited a friend along without asking. She also "orchestrated her own 'baby's first Christmas' photoshoot. And yes, she posted those pics to social media." Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. "Of course, no mention of this to me. I asked my husband to step in, he said he didn't see the big deal," she continues. Now, the couple is about to celebrate the child's first birthday, and both her mother- and father-in-law want to treat them all to a major sporting event — "an all inclusive type of experience, very expensive, very generous. And I am grateful," she writes. "However, I do not want to attend his first major event with anyone. Specifically because this is a sentimental event to me," she continues. "Growing up my family followed this team every summer, often turning our family vacations into opportunities to watch them play in different cities. I have made it clear that I am very excited to attend the game with my in-laws and am excited to celebrate his birthday with them. But for sentimental reasons I desperately want to attend his first game with just the 3 of us." She continues: "I've tried to get my husband to understand my perspective, but he refuses. It honestly feels like my feelings, specifically as my son's mother, are being ignored and that hurts the most. Am I over reacting? Do I just go to the game and shut up? Or do I put up a fight to attend a game with just our family of 3 first?" Other Reddit users say the woman might need to remove some of the pressures she's created around her child's "firsts." "It sounds like you're trying to establish your own family separate from them. You feel encroached on regularly (even if it's well intentioned). What I hear is that being a mom is so important to you and you're worried that these special firsts will be taken from you," writes one. The commenter adds: "But here is the secret: the most precious times don't happen on the first trip to the pumpkin patch or ball game. They happen in the everyday mundane. The quiet in the morning when he spots a bird for the first time in the backyard when you're letting the dog out, the way he looks when he first wakes up and smiles at you. These are the times that are actually the precious ones…and they are all yours." Read the original article on People
Yahoo
4 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: I was sexually abused as a kid — my mother-in-law won't stop belittling me about it
DEAR ABBY: I was sexually abused as a child. Because of this, as an adult woman, I have issues around being touched. I have had therapy, and I am doing much better, but I'm still uncomfortable with physical contact. I simply request that people ask me before they touch me, and I usually agree. The issue is my mother-in-law. She refuses to ask before touching me and often pulls me into unwanted hugs or comes up behind me. I have explained to her about my history, so she knows why I want her to ask me first, but she brushes it off and says she isn't going to hurt me. One time she said, 'What? Do you think I'm going to attack you?' No, I don't think she is going to attack me. This issue is about me, not her, but she doesn't understand that. My husband throws up his hands and refuses to get involved, as he hates being put in the middle. How can I make her understand that I need her to ask before putting her hands on me? — PROTECTIVE IN ILLINOIS DEAR PROTECTIVE: Tell your mother-in-law once more, when you are both calm, that because of your history of abuse you do not want to be touched without first being asked. If she says, 'Do you think I'm going to attack you?' your response should be, 'That's exactly what it feels like! It feels like I'm being assaulted. Don't do it!' If she does it after that, then, in my opinion, you have every right to defend yourself. P.S. Your wimp of a husband should be there during this conversation. DEAR ABBY: I always considered my lifelong friend 'Mary' to be my best friend. We are in our mid-50s now and live in different countries, but we've always stayed in contact. When she comes to visit, she stays with me. I sometimes pick her up at the airport, and I give her my guest room to stay in. I have never asked her for any money. I am single. Everything was fine; we enjoyed each other's company. I recently asked Mary if I could stay at her house (just overnight) and explained I wouldn't mind sleeping on the sofa. She said she couldn't have me for even one night because she has a small apartment, no guest room and she's married. I felt hurt because I never expected her refusal, especially the 'I'm married' part, because it implied she doesn't trust me with her husband around. Frankly, I was dumbfounded and speechless. I still love Mary, but I cannot get over what she said. Am I being overly sensitive? I cry about this every time I remember. — THROWN IN PUERTO RICO DEAR THROWN: Your friend told you she doesn't have a house; she lives in a small apartment. It could be a one-bedroom or studio. Rather than implying you might come on to her husband, she may have been trying to convey in her abbreviated statement that HE is not open to having a guest sleep on their couch. I know you are disappointed, but stop taking this so personally. When you visit, you will get the complete picture. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Yahoo
5 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Couple Considers Cutting Contact with Mother-in-Law After She Insists on Renaming Granddaughter
Immediately after a woman found out she was expecting a daughter, her mother-in-law insisted they should name the little one after her Now, the mother-in-law refuses to call the newborn by her real name The couple has repeatedly asked the grandmother to respect their wishes, and now they are considering cutting contactChoosing a baby's name is often a meaningful and carefully considered decision for new parents. While suggestions from family members are common, most parents expect their chosen name to be respected once it's official. One couple, however, is facing repeated resistance from the baby's grandmother, who continues to call the child by a name that was never agreed upon — one closely tied to her own. 'Within 10 minutes of finding out I was pregnant with a girl, my MIL told me we should name the baby after her,' a user wrote in a Reddit post. 'We obviously didn't do that.' However, four days after the baby was born, the grandmother started using a different name for the newborn — a hybrid of her own name and the one chosen by the parents. 'I corrected her on the spot,' the mother explained. Unfortunately, the corrections didn't stop the behavior. 'She did it several more times, and each time we corrected her and asked that she use the baby's given name or a shortened version of it.' After what the poster estimates was the fifth or sixth instance, she and her partner decided to take a firmer stance. 'We confronted her very firmly and told her she will use the given name or the shortened nickname, and nothing else.' The grandmother's response was emotionally charged. 'She said we refuse to let her have any joy,' the post reads. 'Apparently the only thing that brings her joy is renaming our baby.' The grandmother then 'reluctantly agreed to follow our rules and use the name or shortened nickname we chose.' But her promise was short-lived. During a recent interaction, the grandmother "used another slightly shorter version of the combo name from before." "I doubted myself in the moment and wanted to convince myself I misheard, so I didn't confront her this time," the new mom explained. However, now she is "back on alert." 'Next time it happens (because of course there will be a next time), we will have to have yet another confrontation," she wrote. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. The comment section was in full support for the Reddit user. 'Why is she incapable of feeling joy unless she gets to rename someone else's baby? Thats a bizarre problem to have,' one user wrote. 'You've told her time and time again what the name is, and she still insists on calling baby another name,' someone else commented. 'At this point, it is time for consequences.' The parents emphasized they are not opposed to typical affectionate nicknames like 'sweetheart,' 'sugar,' or 'peanut.' However, their frustration stems specifically from the use of variations that resemble the grandmother's name. 'Not renaming the baby shouldn't be a boundary that even has to be articulated,' the mother wrote. The ongoing conflict has left the family feeling strained. 'We're getting very close to going low contact.' Read the original article on People
