Intimacy by Ita O'Brien: How Normal People can have great sex

Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires by Ita O'Brien (Ebury Press £16, 384pp)
When Ita O'Brien was growing up in a strictly traditional Irish Catholic family where no one ever mentioned menstruation, let alone sex, she had no inkling her career would involve sitting with actors, offering them choreographic suggestions as to how they might simulate an orgasm.
Yet as a sought-after intimacy coordinator for films and television, this is exactly what O'Brien does. Not just the orgasm, but the whole build-up – which she strongly believes should be given time and space.
Her mission is to make sex scenes realistic as well as sexy, while respecting actors' boundaries. While there isn't enough time in an hour-long episode to film the full 20 minutes (on average) that it takes for a woman to be 'ready for penetration', the gradualness should be hinted at.
In her thought-provoking 'field guide to intimacy', O'Brien becomes an intimacy coordinator for us all, drawing on her filming work to give us helpful tips on how we should make our real-life sex lives both realistic and sexy, while respecting each other's boundaries.
People have asked her to visit their bedrooms to help coordinate their sex lives. She does not do that; but this book is the next best thing.
Best known for her coordination of the mutually respectful but highly erotic sex scenes between Paul Mescal and Daisy Edgar-Jones 's characters in the BBC drama Normal People (2020), O'Brien is justifiably proud of her work (which also includes It's A Sin, Gentleman Jack, and I May Destroy You).
Viewers of Normal People were 'profoundly affected', she writes, by the scene in which Connell (played by Mescal) and Marianne (Edgar-Jones) make love for the first time. 'Are you sure you want this?' Connell asks. When Marianne nods, he says: 'If it hurts, I'll stop.'
A bit later, he asks: 'Does it hurt?'
'A bit.' And then she says: 'It's nice.' And they tenderly make love.
I remember how captivated we all were by the eroticism as well as the charm of that series during the first lockdown. Those scenes 'helped viewers remember all the joy and gorgeousness of their first relationships as teenagers, and how unsure they felt'.
'The prospect of bringing something to the screen that I felt was representative of the reality of young people in love having sex was really exciting to me,' O'Brien writes.
Sex is too often portrayed unrealistically. 'All that bumping and grinding, the thrusting and heads thrown back in simulated ecstasy, rarely bears much relationship to people's own experience of their sexual encounters. We see penetration after 30 seconds of kissing. Is that how it happens in your life? No!'
The film world certainly needed someone like O'Brien. Before the arrival of intimacy coordinators, directors just used to tell actors to get on with it.
Actress Gemma Whelan describes the multiple intimate sex scenes she had to do in Game Of Thrones as 'a frenzied mess'. 'Action! Just go for it!' the director would shout at the actors. 'Bit of boob biting, then slap her bum and go!'
Of her role in the Scandi-noir series The Bridge, Swedish actress Sofia Helin said: 'It's tense every time you have to cross your own boundaries in order to satisfy a director's needs.'
Dakota Johnson wishes intimacy coordinators had existed when she was filming Fifty Shades Of Grey. 'I was just kind of thrown to the wolves on that one,' she said.
Things have moved on since then. O'Brien's four main tenets are: open communication, agreement and consent, clear choreography, and closure. Her sessions involve deep breathing exercises to make actors fully present in their own bodies and aware and respectful of their partner's physical presence.
In one exercise, she advises them to put their right hand on each other's hearts, and their left hand over their partner's hand on their heart, and 'feel the movement of the energy and the dance between you'.
That's just one of many build-up exercises, some of which verge on the woo-woo. There's a great deal about the seven chakras, and a lot of visualising of waterfalls, and your own lower body as 'the base of a tree putting roots deep into the earth'.
When it comes to advising us on how to improve our own intimate lives, or at least how to avoid our sex lives from rusting up over a long marriage, O'Brien says self-love and self-esteem are most important. Look into a mirror and say: 'I choose to love myself. I am enough. I believe in myself.'
She advises gazing into the eyes of your partner for 60 seconds at a time, and 'sharing your wonderings'. Gaze at the stars together, as she and her partner do; stand in bare feet on the grass in order to be fully rooted in your body.
She advises us to be honest about what we do and don't want, and how that might change over time, and to dare to talk about it although it can be 'difficult and embarrassing'.
She invites us to 'take a hand mirror and to explore and get to know your vulva'. I might give that one a miss.
To remind us how unique every vulva is, O'Brien gives us a full page of drawings of different-shaped ones, from an art work by Jamie McCartney called The Great Wall of Vulva, which portrays 400 of them. Not a work to show to the older generation in Catholic Ireland, perhaps.
Yet I liked the advice she quotes from the sex therapist Linsey Blair: we should regard intimacy as a kind of tapas menu. 'You order in bite-size chunks; you don't just think every sexual encounter has to be a three-course meal leading to penetration and orgasm.' Sometimes 'doing small things every day is more intimate than a three-course extravaganza once every three months'.
'Tuesday sex' is what she calls the ordinary stuff, which many of us might hope to keep up as a habit over a long lifetime. This is very different from 'Nine And A Half Weeks sex' (named after the film of the same name). Online porn has made too many young people think sex must be of the latter variety. Whereas, in reality, 'intimacy is rarely spontaneous' – and can be just as satisfying if you schedule it into the diary.
Most importantly, O'Brien reminds us, 'it's possible to have intimacy without sex, and sex without intimacy'.

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Learn with AIFact CheckingText to SpeechAI Summary

Related Articles

Times

an hour ago

• Times

Gabby Logan: ‘I was told I was too competitive for a woman'

Gabby Logan is posing in a pair of form-hugging PVC trousers and killer heels, with her shoulders adorned in fur. And as her last photo is taken she delivers a diva punchline to bring the house down: 'Well, that's my Match of the Day outfit sorted then.' If only. Logan takes the helm of the BBC's TV institution in August (along with Kelly Cates and Mark Chapman) following the recent departure of Gary Lineker. I dare you to wear that outfit, I say. 'The BBC don't say anything much about clothes, but they might say something about an outfit like that. So I don't think I'm going to rattle the cage,' she muses as we sit down to talk. MOTD is the longest-running football show in the world. To paraphrase Labour campaign watchers, she is about to walk across a highly polished floor holding a Ming vase. Is she nervous? 'Before any broadcast, I get just nervous enough to give a good performance. Before I had children I was quite superstitious. I'd wear the same coloured pants or walk the same route through the corridor to the studio for luck. But kids take you out of yourself. Now it's about being totally prepared so you feel adrenalised, excited.' Did Gary leave her a note, maybe some crisps? 'No. But our initials are the same so the door sign is the same.' When Logan was recruited by Sky TV back in the Nineties, her new bosses sent her out on the town with a fashion stylist. They drank champagne and then spent £5,000 on Prada, Armani and Kenzo clothes. Does MOTD do the same? 'Would it surprise you to hear the answer is no?' OK, one more, this time more serious: Lineker was the highest-paid BBC presenter, on £1.35 million a year. Has Logan demanded equal pay? 'That's all sorted,' she says. What does that mean? 'It's sorted.' A bumper summer of women's sport Her response is a swift reminder that we are not here to discuss MOTD but something possibly even bigger. Logan is about to front an unprecedented summer of women's sport coverage on the BBC. Women's football (the Euros begin in July), rugby (the World Cup is in August), not to mention cricket, tennis, athletics (the World Championships are in September) and netball. 'No sidelines, no second billing,' says the official Beeb announcement. There will be a grassroots campaign to get more girls and women participating too. 'Names will be made,' they predict. 'Think back to the women's Euros in 2022,' Logan enthuses. 'Lots of people didn't know who Alessia Russo, Chloe Kelly, Ella Toone or Ellen White were and it was such a joy to see them emerge as household names. Heroes, basically. And there are so many more to come.' Who might be the new stars? Look out for Aggie Beever-Jones (the England international and Chelsea star who recently scored a hat-trick against Portugal in the women's Nations League) and Ellie Kildunne (the England rugby union star and 2024 World Rugby's women's player of the year). 'A lot of these women are already very well known within sporting circles, but they really deserve wider recognition. And that means both women and men watching. With football particularly, I think sometimes the narrative can be: 'No men's Euros or World Cup this summer — it's going to be a quiet one.' It's really not. Across all these sports, there is amazing female talent waiting to be discovered.' Logan is of course a former international athlete herself — she was a gymnast for Wales at the 1990 Commonwealth Games but retired due to injury aged 17. Her father is the former Leeds United and Wales international footballer Terry Yorath and, as a young girl, she loved that game too. Could she have made it as a player with the right encouragement? It's easy to forget the FA actually banned women from using its facilities between 1921 and 1971. 'I was thinking about this recently,' she muses. 'Could I have made it? I would love to have played alongside England's all-time greatest, Kelly Smith. [The former England international was so determined to play football as a girl, she joined a boys' club in Watford aged seven. She became the top scorer, but was then kicked out after the parents of opposing teams complained.] But the determination you needed to succeed without facilities or media interest was incredible.' I spoke to Logan two years ago when she commentated on the women's World Cup final in Australia. At the time Neymar, the Brazilian star of the men's game, had just signed a deal worth £129 million a year playing for the Saudi Arabian team Al-Hilal; Cristiano Ronaldo, meanwhile, earns more than £170 million a year at another Saudi Arabian club. Logan remarked that the men's game seemed 'a bit broken'. Can the women's game avoid that? 'This is the balancing act the women's game has got. They want the same brand deals as the men's game to bring more money in and grow the sport but without losing the connectivity with fans. I don't think anyone would disagree that the men's game has lost a little bit of that. You always see the women go to talk to the fans after a match. There are some amazing men too but it feels as though the stakes are so much higher — there's the whole 'talking behind the hand' thing because of lip-reading which is everywhere now. It feels harder to connect. But I would add: the fans in the men's game still care passionately. I have spoken to Sunderland, Manchester United and Nottingham Forest fans recently: the passion is still incredible.' Is any player worth £170 million a year? 'You're worth what someone decides to pay you. There's a lot of debate about players taking the money to play in Saudi Arabia but you can't walk in their shoes. You don't know if they're giving that money to the town they came from or building schools. So many players do that but it doesn't get the coverage because it's not exciting. And in terms of entertainment, would you apply that to the music industry and say Elton John isn't worth that money? Or that movie star isn't worth it for a film?' 'I want as many people to participate in sport in a safe and fair way' OK, women's sport can feel refreshingly wholesome — except perhaps in one area. It's been two months since the Supreme Court ruled that under equalities law, a woman is defined by biological sex, not gender identity. What is Logan's view on the ruling and what effect will it have on women's sport this summer? 'I'm not going to talk about that,' she says firmly. I am surprised. Logan has previously supported the former British Olympic swimmer Sharron Davies's stand on trans women in women's sport. 'I think we need to protect women's sport. That's why I think it's good what Sharron Davies is doing at the moment, in terms of talking about it,' she told a newspaper in 2019. 'We're dealing with science here. This is not about attacking a community; it's about saying: how can we make this a fair place for women to compete?' Is it fair to quote that as your rough position? 'I think that pertains to a conversation as much as anything,' Logan says. 'People having a forum to debate and have a conversation about something. I want as many people to participate in sport in a safe and fair way, whatever that looks like.' It feels like the Supreme Court ruling should make this issue easier to discuss. Why is it still so political and polarising? 'You tell me. Maybe there's a vacuum somewhere that's allowed it to become so polarising, which is disappointing.' We are sitting in a quiet corner of a photo studio. These exchanges feel like a half-hearted game of ping-pong in a very rundown youth centre. I get it. Logan is here representing the BBC and broadcasters are incredibly nervous about the gender debate. Days after we speak, the tennis legend and TV pundit Martina Navratilova is censored on ITV's X channel after posting comments about the controversial Algerian boxer Imane Khelif. But it's a shame because on social media and in her 2022 memoir, The First Half, Logan is often both funny and bolshy. On X she has variously questioned Brexit, trolled Melania Trump's fashion choices, denounced Donald Trump and come out in support of Marcus Rashford's campaign for free school meals during the Covid pandemic. 'I found the people opposing Marcus Rashford totally baffling,' she says, rallying. 'This is a kid who knows what it's like [Rashford was brought up by a single mother] trying to use his position in a positive way. I grew up when football players were constantly being bashed for their lavish lifestyles, so the 'stick to football' attitude was very disappointing.' 'After my brother died, I promised him to live my life for two people' The 'wild west' of social media is where you find no-nonsense Logan. In fact, swagger into Gabby's Bar with a bad attitude and you are probably leaving through the window. In her memoir she calls the BBC broadcasting legend Des Lynam 'the master', but is more than ready to put him straight now. Last year Lynam said he had 'no gripe' with female presenters but that, 'When you're a pundit and you're offering opinions about the game, you have to have played it at the level you are talking about — ie, the men's game.' 'It's really strange for Des Lynam to be coming at it from that angle when he's never played the game at that level, has he?' she says. Elsewhere the billionaire former Spurs chairman Lord Sugar expressed concern that, while women pundits often comment on the men's game, there were no men covering the women's 2022 Euros tournament. 'Given the viewing figures for the women's Euros and the excitement around the whole tournament, I think perhaps Sir Alan misjudged that one,' she says. That's Logan all over. She is diligent and head-girlish, but then she's had to be. Her early life was happy, exciting even. With her mum, Christine, and siblings — sister Louise and brothers Daniel and Jordan — she moved around while her dad played in Leeds, London, even Canada. But the day 15-year-old Daniel died suddenly while playing football in the back garden (he had an undiagnosed heart condition, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy), things changed overnight. Daniel and his father were very close and, heartbroken, Terry Yorath's life spun out of control; he became depressed and drank to excess. The marriage eventually fell apart. Meanwhile, 19-year-old Logan pulled herself together. In the funeral parlour, seeing her brother for the last time, she made him a promise: 'I am going to do everything I can to make your life count.' 'Yes, to live my life for two people,' she says today. The tragedy and her sporting instincts drove her to achieve and yet Logan has learnt that competitive women ruffle feathers. The moment of truth, she says, came while appearing with her husband, the former Scotland rugby international Kenny Logan, on Strictly Come Dancing in 2007. While Kenny was lauded as the game bruiser twirling through the pasa doble in a kilt, she was seen as trying too hard. Kenny came 5th, Gabby Logan was eliminated early in 11th place. It really hurt her. In The First Half she says the day she left she cried, 'People really don't like me,' into her sofa. Why did it hurt so much? 'Because I was kicked out! And it was a harsh lesson, learning that sometimes not everyone likes you. You realise the parts of your personality that you thought were attributes as a sportswoman are not valued. I was told I was being too competitive, whereas I was thinking, 'I thought that was good. That's what I did in sport — and it worked — and that's what my husband is doing.' I actually reckon there was a societal shift between that show in 2007 and 2012. At the 2012 Olympics we started to appreciate tough, competitive women. We made heroes of them. But in 2007 I wasn't playing the game expected of a woman.' What would a woman 'playing the game' look like? 'Oh, it would have served me to say,' — she bats her eyelids and smiles — ' 'Oh gosh, whatever, that's fine! I'm just happy to be here!' rather than trying hard. But you have to decide if that's you, and that's something I'm not compromising on.' There was another significant fallout from Daniel's death: the disrupted relationship with her father led her into an unhealthy pattern when choosing men. 'For a few years I sought the company of not very appropriate, older men,' she writes in her book. Most notable was Gary Staines, a long-distance runner who took a shine to her at the 1990 Commonwealth Games in Auckland, New Zealand. She was 16. Staines was 26 and engaged. A year later his marriage ended and Logan moved into his London flat. Logan ended the relationship once she was at Durham University, where she read law. But by her early twenties, despite having cut her teeth on local radio and making a name for herself as a presenter at Sky Sports, Logan was feeling lost. With her husband and Prince Charles at a reception for the Prince's Trust, 2013 PA 'I didn't like myself very much,' she says. 'I was probably wanting to mend something because our family was quite broken, because of my brother dying. I felt I could create something like a family, a happy place. Those were the relationships I was pursuing. But a bit of guidance from a therapist helped me recognise those patterns were not healthy. That was a good time for it to happen, because in my early twenties I realised I wasn't enjoying relationships I was in. It didn't seem like a good way to be.' 'Thank God I am married to a normal bloke' Early in 1999 Logan was on her way home from dinner with a girlfriend who suggested a late drink in a bar. Logan didn't want to go; she was still queasy from an uncomfortable New Year's Eve dalliance: 'a cigar-smoking wide boy' she'd snogged and who wanted her to do cocaine in the lavatories at a London cabaret (she didn't). Nevertheless, she and the friend slipped into London's K Bar and she was introduced to Kenny Logan. Early portents weren't great. He was drunk and thought he was talking to the former Big Breakfast presenter Gaby Roslin. Nevertheless they hit it off. 'Thank God I am married to a normal bloke who isn't an addict,' she says in her book, and is very funny about Kenny bouncing her off the water bed in her London townhouse during their early years together. 'He's still my number one,' she says. In recent years her marriage to Kenny has become something of a minor sporting spectacle in itself. Logan has been disarmingly honest about how the menopause affected her sex drive ('Is this going to become a duty?') until she took HRT. And it was a 2021 edition of podcast The that prompted Kenny to get himself checked out for prostate cancer; he tested positive. He has made a full recovery but both have been refreshingly open about the impact of the disease on their relationship: Kenny talked us through his testicles growing to 'the size of tennis balls' and the month it took post-surgery to get any erectile 'movement'. 'We decided: we have a platform — let's use it for good,' Logan says. 'We get a lot of great feedback from people who say they took action [about their health]. I'm sure our kids have been teased about it more than we know, but they also feel grateful that their dad's life was, if not saved, at least spared from something more serious.' As a teenager herself she says she was too tall and flat-chested to be fancied by boys. She didn't drink and was dedicated to her sport. No wonder, as a 16-year-old at the Commonwealth Games, she was baffled as to why male competitors wanted to hang out with her and her sister Louise — who went on to become a model — or why the Sultan of Brunei's brother, Prince Jefri, sent her a Brunei team tracksuit as a gift along with his phone number. 'I just thought, 'Oh, nice tracksuit,' ' Logan recalls now. 'I only really read about him afterwards.' Prince Jefri reportedly owned more than 2,000 cars and enjoyed entertaining on a superyacht called Tits. Why did it take her so long to realise that, in her own words, many sports people at major tournaments are 'on heat'? 'I was very young, but when you step back it's obvious, isn't it? All these very fit, healthy people who train so hard — and, if my experience is anything to go by, miss out on so many social events because they are trying to get their gymnastics right — are suddenly ready to mingle. You're done training and there are lots of other fit, lovely people around who also want to let off a bit of steam. It's no great surprise that there are romantic liaisons. I believe the French handed out more condoms than ever at the Paris Olympics. It's the swimmers you have to watch out for — their events always finish first. And if you get up at 5am to train for your whole life and you are superfit and you finish your competition, you deserve to party, right? Just don't live next to the swimmers in the village if you want a good night's sleep.' Back then a young athlete could make mistakes — she is clear the relationship with Gary Staines 'should never have happened' — but we now live in a world of social media. As a leading broadcaster, the scrutiny and abuse are intense. Logan has been told to 'get back in the kitchen' on X; and in the last year alone she has been taken to task for wishing viewers a 'happy festive season' instead of saying 'Christmas' and for using the term 'cock-up' while commentating on last year's Olympics. 'You have to decide how much it's going to invade your sanity,' she says. 'The people that matter to me, I will always listen to their opinion. I am just glad I stopped my kids having phones till they were 16 so they could at least have a taste of what I had: the chance to be in the moment, even to make mistakes.' Dress, Shoes, Earrings, ROBERT WILSON FOR THE TIMES MAGAZINE Lois is at university and Reuben a rugby player for Northampton Saints (he joins Sale Sharks next season). They are relaxed about their mum's achievements, although there was a flurry of texts when she got the MOTD job. 'It's an institution, so of course it was huge for them too,' she says, smiling. But first, this summer of women's sport will be the fruition of years of determined, unrecognised effort. There are parallels with Logan's TV career. Aged 11, she watched a VHS tape of the 1984 Olympics over and over again, noting even then that only men seemed to be presenters. In her twenties, at Sky TV, her boss told her that her career would be over when she was 28, and in her early thirties she very nearly gave up after being sidelined at ITV. She took a 66 per cent pay cut to join the BBC. She had just had children when ITV let her go. Wasn't she suspicious? 'No. That's TV. I had a real crisis of confidence. I wondered, 'Am I any good at this job?' But the truth is, sometimes people just aren't into you.' No wonder her X profile simply says, 'Still here.' 'I owe my opportunities to some quite strident women in TV before me who said, 'It's not right that we get chucked off air just because we hit 40,' ' she asserts. 'Women like Kirsty Wark, presenting Newsnight into her sixties. Like the sportswomen we will hopefully celebrate this summer, I feel I am very much standing on the shoulders of giants.'

Daily Record

2 hours ago

• Daily Record

Traitors boss halts filming to allow for Highland mum's funeral

The family of the late woman have thanked The Traitors bosses for halting production. Makers of The Traitors have agreed to halt filming to allow a grieving family to hold a funeral service at a Highland church. The church is near Ardross Castle where the US version of the show – hosted by Alan Cumming – is currently being shot. ‌ The dead woman's son took to social media after being told the earliest they could have access to Ardross Ark – a regular feature in the BBC show – would be July 1 which is 'far too long to wait to say our final farewell to Mam'. ‌ He added: 'My mother has lived in Ardross for 72 years. For my mother to be denied the right to have her final farewell to Ardross in her local church is nothing less than a disgrace.' But now the volunteer-run church has agreed a compromise after the unnamed local man contacted the Traitors production boss. He said: 'I would like to thank them for their understanding and allowing us to use the church.' The trustees of the church said: 'The situation has now been resolved. The funeral service will take place on June 27.'

Daily Record

2 hours ago

• Daily Record

Scots Gladiator Sheli McCoy hails Pride of Scotland Unsung Heroes

TV star Sabre can't wait to honour the winners at our glittering People's Oscars on Monday night. Scots gladiator and weightlifting champion Sheli McCoy has hailed Pride of Scotland's unsung heroes as some of the 'strongest' humans on the planet. Sheli, who is known to her fans as Sabre, is looking forward to celebrating the winners of our 2025 People's Oscars at the glittering ceremony on Monday night. ‌ The 36-year-old, who is on track to represent Scotland in weightlifting at the 2026 Commonwealth Games, says when it comes to record-breaking strength our unsung heroes are world champions. ‌ Last year Sheli, who lives and runs a gym in Dundee, presented Abbie Jarvis and Kaylynn Donald with their Teenagers of Courage Award. Both schoolgirls were victims of sickening attacks by other children and bravely waived their anonymity to back a Daily Record campaign to support victims of youth violence. Kaylynn, 14, was brutally attacked on a school bus in Ladybank, Fife and Abbie, 15, was lured to a park in Glasgow and beaten unconscious as other kids filmed the vicious assault. Sheli said: 'I felt so privileged to present Kaylynn and Abbie with their award last year. Those girls both underwent a torrent of horrific bullying and abuse. 'Yet here they are having the courage to stand up and speak out about their ordeals to help others. They are inspiring and educating a whole generation as well as motivating others to stand up to bullies. They are both real-life gladiators.' ‌ The TV star, who trains between 16 and 19 hours a week, added: 'The Pride of Scotland awards are so special because you are sitting in a room filled with people who have bravery, courage and spirit in bucket loads but never seek anything from it. 'They don't make a song or dance about their achievements so it's brilliant they are being given the recognition they truly deserve. 'Last year was the first time I ever walked a red carpet and I feel honoured to have been asked to come back and help celebrate the nation's biggest and brightest stars - the unsung heroes.' ‌ Sheli, who shot to overnight fame after the first episode of the Gladiators reboot aired on the BBC last January, admits she gets recognised everywhere she goes. She said: 'I can't walk down the street anymore without being recognised but it's fine because I love it. People always apologise when they meet me but I tell them not to as they are the reason I have a job that I love. 'I have felt unwanted and unwelcome and it's awful. I don't want anyone else to ever feel like that so if I can chat away to someone for five minutes or sign something for their kids then I am up for that. ‌ 'I never imagined just how popular Gladiator would be but it has changed my life in a good way. It has been the megaphone I needed to get my fitness message out there.' The Robert Gordon graduate added: 'Since becoming a Gladiator I have been asked to come and do lots of seminars and talks to young people about overcoming adversity and accepting challenges through fitness. 'I was already trying to spread this message but no one was listening to me but now they are. Sabre has opened the door for me to be the educator that I have always wanted to be. ‌ 'The exposure has also prompted me to start a new fitness initiative called 'Next Generation Fitness Kids' and this summer I will be running camps to teach primary school children about how keeping fit will help them to become healthy, hydrated and motivated.' Gladiators is hopefully coming back for a third series but in between filming the hit BBC show Sheli has been busy winning more weightlifting titles. ‌ The Crossfit champion said: 'I competed in the Easterns weightlifting championships last month in both the seniors and the masters 69kg categories and won both and set six new Scottish records. 'The next step for me is the British championships which I have qualified for and if I have success there I could be selected for the Commonwealth Games. 'Becoming a Commonwealth athlete has been a dream as underneath it all I am an athlete and I was selected as a Gladiator because I am an athlete. ‌ 'Life is pretty good at the moment and on my mum's advice I am trying to take a moment every now and then to appreciate it.' Joining Sheli at the Daily Record Pride of Scotland Awards with P&O Cruises at the Glasgow Hilton on Monday night will be BGT legend Susan Boyle, Star Wars actor Denis Lawson, singers Nathan Evans, Calum Bowie and Cammy Barnes and Strictly's JJ Chalmers and Dr Punam Krishan. Love Island's Paige Turley and Saint Phnx's Stevie Jukes will be going live from the red carpet and presenter Laura Anderson will be manning the Pride of Scotland bar. ‌ First Minister John Swinney will also be there to celebrate the best of Scotland and there will be a performance from Britain's Got Talent finalist Vinnie McKee. - The 2025 Pride of Scotland winners will be revealed in an 8-page pullout in Monday's Daily Record - You can catch all the red carpet action on the Pride of Scotland Facebook, Instagram and YouTube page from 5.30pm on Monday night