Latest news with #sexScenes
Daily Mail
12 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Intimacy by Ita O'Brien: How Normal People can have great sex
Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires by Ita O'Brien (Ebury Press £16, 384pp) When Ita O'Brien was growing up in a strictly traditional Irish Catholic family where no one ever mentioned menstruation, let alone sex, she had no inkling her career would involve sitting with actors, offering them choreographic suggestions as to how they might simulate an orgasm. Yet as a sought-after intimacy coordinator for films and television, this is exactly what O'Brien does. Not just the orgasm, but the whole build-up – which she strongly believes should be given time and space. Her mission is to make sex scenes realistic as well as sexy, while respecting actors' boundaries. While there isn't enough time in an hour-long episode to film the full 20 minutes (on average) that it takes for a woman to be 'ready for penetration', the gradualness should be hinted at. In her thought-provoking 'field guide to intimacy', O'Brien becomes an intimacy coordinator for us all, drawing on her filming work to give us helpful tips on how we should make our real-life sex lives both realistic and sexy, while respecting each other's boundaries. People have asked her to visit their bedrooms to help coordinate their sex lives. She does not do that; but this book is the next best thing. Best known for her coordination of the mutually respectful but highly erotic sex scenes between Paul Mescal and Daisy Edgar-Jones 's characters in the BBC drama Normal People (2020), O'Brien is justifiably proud of her work (which also includes It's A Sin, Gentleman Jack, and I May Destroy You). Viewers of Normal People were 'profoundly affected', she writes, by the scene in which Connell (played by Mescal) and Marianne (Edgar-Jones) make love for the first time. 'Are you sure you want this?' Connell asks. When Marianne nods, he says: 'If it hurts, I'll stop.' A bit later, he asks: 'Does it hurt?' 'A bit.' And then she says: 'It's nice.' And they tenderly make love. I remember how captivated we all were by the eroticism as well as the charm of that series during the first lockdown. Those scenes 'helped viewers remember all the joy and gorgeousness of their first relationships as teenagers, and how unsure they felt'. 'The prospect of bringing something to the screen that I felt was representative of the reality of young people in love having sex was really exciting to me,' O'Brien writes. Sex is too often portrayed unrealistically. 'All that bumping and grinding, the thrusting and heads thrown back in simulated ecstasy, rarely bears much relationship to people's own experience of their sexual encounters. We see penetration after 30 seconds of kissing. Is that how it happens in your life? No!' The film world certainly needed someone like O'Brien. Before the arrival of intimacy coordinators, directors just used to tell actors to get on with it. Actress Gemma Whelan describes the multiple intimate sex scenes she had to do in Game Of Thrones as 'a frenzied mess'. 'Action! Just go for it!' the director would shout at the actors. 'Bit of boob biting, then slap her bum and go!' Of her role in the Scandi-noir series The Bridge, Swedish actress Sofia Helin said: 'It's tense every time you have to cross your own boundaries in order to satisfy a director's needs.' Dakota Johnson wishes intimacy coordinators had existed when she was filming Fifty Shades Of Grey. 'I was just kind of thrown to the wolves on that one,' she said. Things have moved on since then. O'Brien's four main tenets are: open communication, agreement and consent, clear choreography, and closure. Her sessions involve deep breathing exercises to make actors fully present in their own bodies and aware and respectful of their partner's physical presence. In one exercise, she advises them to put their right hand on each other's hearts, and their left hand over their partner's hand on their heart, and 'feel the movement of the energy and the dance between you'. That's just one of many build-up exercises, some of which verge on the woo-woo. There's a great deal about the seven chakras, and a lot of visualising of waterfalls, and your own lower body as 'the base of a tree putting roots deep into the earth'. When it comes to advising us on how to improve our own intimate lives, or at least how to avoid our sex lives from rusting up over a long marriage, O'Brien says self-love and self-esteem are most important. Look into a mirror and say: 'I choose to love myself. I am enough. I believe in myself.' She advises gazing into the eyes of your partner for 60 seconds at a time, and 'sharing your wonderings'. Gaze at the stars together, as she and her partner do; stand in bare feet on the grass in order to be fully rooted in your body. She advises us to be honest about what we do and don't want, and how that might change over time, and to dare to talk about it although it can be 'difficult and embarrassing'. She invites us to 'take a hand mirror and to explore and get to know your vulva'. I might give that one a miss. To remind us how unique every vulva is, O'Brien gives us a full page of drawings of different-shaped ones, from an art work by Jamie McCartney called The Great Wall of Vulva, which portrays 400 of them. Not a work to show to the older generation in Catholic Ireland, perhaps. Yet I liked the advice she quotes from the sex therapist Linsey Blair: we should regard intimacy as a kind of tapas menu. 'You order in bite-size chunks; you don't just think every sexual encounter has to be a three-course meal leading to penetration and orgasm.' Sometimes 'doing small things every day is more intimate than a three-course extravaganza once every three months'. 'Tuesday sex' is what she calls the ordinary stuff, which many of us might hope to keep up as a habit over a long lifetime. This is very different from 'Nine And A Half Weeks sex' (named after the film of the same name). Online porn has made too many young people think sex must be of the latter variety. Whereas, in reality, 'intimacy is rarely spontaneous' – and can be just as satisfying if you schedule it into the diary. Most importantly, O'Brien reminds us, 'it's possible to have intimacy without sex, and sex without intimacy'.
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Dakota Johnson Recently Worked With Her First Intimacy Coordinator: 'It's Not Sexy'
Despite her decade-long tenure as a leading lady, Dakota Johnson has had to do a lot of the heavy onscreen lifting without any help. The Materialists star joked she's 'always psyched up' for sex scenes as she recently opened up about working with an intimacy coordinator the first time in her career on a movie she recently filmed. More from Deadline Dakota Johnson Delivers Damning Diagnosis On Hollywood's Risk-Aversion: 'It's All A Bit Of A Mess' 'Materialists' Review: Dakota Johnson Measures Value Of Love Between Chris Evans And Pedro Pascal in Celine Song's Sublime Romcomdram 'Rivals' Author Jilly Cooper Gives View On Intimacy Coordinators Ahead Of Disney+ Comedy-Drama's Second Season 'And she was really great,' raved Johnson on the Good Hang podcast. 'It was so cool because I'm so used to—you know, it's a sex scene. It's not sexy. It doesn't feel good. In addition to some of the more absurd aspects of filming a sex scene, like 'slamming myself into a headboard,' Johnson detailed for host Amy Poehler what goes into preparing to film an intimate sequence. 'First, I think it depends on, who is the character, and who is the character supposed to be to the audience,' she explained. 'Is she a super idolized hot girl? Is she a housewife? Is she lonely? Is she scared? Is she conservative?' Johnson continued, 'So, that's obviously character work, but then certain prep would go into it. I want to feel good in my body if I'm showing my body. My mom raised me to be really, really proud of my body and love my body. So, I've always felt so grateful for that, especially in my work because I can use it and it feels real.' Since her breakout role in 2015's Fifty Shades of Grey adaptation, Johnson has come to appreciate the importance of a good sex scene as the romantic lead of films like How to Be Single (2016), Cha Cha Real Smooth (2022), Am I OK? (2022), Persuasion (2022) and Splitsville, which debuted last month at Cannes. 'So, I guess in my work, it's something that I feel brave with and that I feel, when it's used the right way in a story, it's important,' said Johnson, whose latest film Materialists is now in theaters. Best of Deadline 2025 TV Series Renewals: Photo Gallery 2025 TV Cancellations: Photo Gallery 2025-26 Awards Season Calendar: Dates For Tonys, Emmys, Oscars & More
Daily Mail
13-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
'It was my first kiss with a female co-star - and the best I'd ever had. But I was straight... wasn't I?': ROSIE DAY reveals how even today for young women, the road to coming out is far from simple
As an actress, I can tell you kissing and sex scenes are never sexy. They're choreographed, last hours (see – not realistic at all!) and are not particularly fun for anyone involved. Usually, when I watch them back, I have to hide behind a pillow because I look so awkward.
Daily Mail
11-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Dakota Johnson opens up about filming sex scenes amid shock split from longterm beau Chris Martin
Dakota Johnson has given the inside scoop on filming sex scenes, revealing she is 'always psyched' to shoot the steamy moments. In an interview with Amy Poehler on her posdcast Poehler's Good Hang, Dakota was asked how she hypes herself up for sex scenes, to which she said: 'I don't have to. I'm, like, always psyched up for sex.' The 35-year-old actress also talked about working with an intimacy coordinator for the first time, who suggested using a Pilates ball during intimate moments, but she didn't even end up using it. She also described how lessons she learned from her mother Melanie Griffith about being comfortable in her own skin have helped her own career on camera. Dakota explained: 'I recently did a movie a few months ago, and we had an intimacy coordinator on set and it was the first time I've ever worked with one, and she was really great. It was so cool, because I'm so used to just you know, like... It's a sex scene. It's not sexy, it doesn't feel good. 'A sex scene is when two actors pretend that they're having sex. And you do all the things except have sex. And you have to make sounds like you're having sex, and you're In preparation for the scene, Dakota said part of it depended on the type of character she was playing: 'First I think it depends on who is the character, and who is the character supposed to be to the audience. 'Is she like a super idolized hot girl, is she like a housewife, is she lonely, is she scared, is she conservative, you know? So that's obviously character work, so certain prep I guess would go into it.' She added: 'I want to feel good in my body,' she said. 'If I'm showing my body... my mom raised to me to be really, really proud of my body and love my body, so I've always felt so grateful for that, especially in my work, because I can use it and it feels like, real.' Dakota said her mother was 'honest and open about body stuff', which included menstruation. 'I have friends whose mothers never spoke to them about that stuff and it's so hard and sad,' she revealed. Melanie also emphasized how 'precious and important' the act of sex is to Dakota. 'She also talked to me about sex and like how precious and important,' Dakota explained. 'So I guess in my work... it's something that I feel brave with and that I feel when it's used the right way in a story, it's important. As for the intimacy coordinator, Dakota was surprised by the Pilates ball suggestion. 'So I've always just like done the simulated sex scene but now with the intimacy coordinator, was like, "Do you want a Pilates ball between you guys for the thrusting movement?"... And I was like, "What?" But then we're going to be like so far away from each other, and we didn't end up using that,' she said later in the conversation. Dakota said she filmed numerous sex scenes on her own as her on-screen partner was not on camera: 'A lot of it also is like, there are times when I've done a sex scene where I'm by myself 'cause I'm only in the frame, so I'm just like, gyrating on my own and moaning... or like slamming myself into a headboard.' Her promo tour for her new movie comes amid her split from Coldplay singer Chris Martin after almost eight years together. The couple first sparked up a relationship in 2017 and got engaged several years ago - but have now gone their separate ways. A source told 'Their relationship has been over for a long time, they just haven't been able to figure out to make it official. Dakota held a flame for them to be together because she loved him so much and loved his kids so much. The source added: 'Breakups aren't instant and they continued to breakup and makeup and sometimes things would work when they were away from each other, while they were working because absence makes the heart grow fonder, but then they'd get back together and little things just kept adding up to where they weren't right for each other anymore. 'Dakota is devastated that she isn't going to be around his kids as much anymore, but wants them to know that she is always there for them.' The insider said added there was a chance the pair may reconcile but 'right now, being separated will do wonders if they were to have any type of future together'.
Yahoo
11-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Dakota Johnson Reveals Her NSFW Sex Scene Pep Talk
Dakota Johnson doesn't have to do much to get in the mood for a sex scene, she revealed Tuesday, joking she's 'always psyched up for sex.' The Fifty Shades of Grey star was asked how she prepares herself for those scenes on the latest episode of Amy Poehler's Good Hang podcast. To the Saturday Night Live alum's surprise, Johnson said, 'Amy, I don't have to.' 'You're like, 7:30 a.m., 'Let's do it'?' Poehler asked, 'That's a lot.' Johnson, 35, insisted that yes, she just says, 'Let's go to pound town.' Johnson is best known for her breakout roles in the racy but critically-panned Fifty Shades movies, and Poehler was clearly expecting a different answer from the star. She explained her lax attitude like this: 'I think it depends on who is the character and who's the character supposed to be to the audience. Is she like a super idolized hot girl? Is she like a housewife? Is she lonely? Is she scared? Is she conservative? That's obviously character work, so certain prep would go into it.' She added, 'It's a sex scene, it's not sexy.' 'There are times when I've done a sex scene where I'm by myself because only I'm in the frame. So I'm just, like, gyrating on my own,' she said, 'Or like slamming myself into a headboard.' Poehler joked, 'And then on the other side of the camera is just a bunch of crew guys,' as Johnson added, 'with their heads down.' 'It's something that I feel brave with… when it's used the right way in a story,' Johnson said, explaining that she's just naturally comfortable in her own skin. She credits her mother, actress Melanie Griffith, for 'raising me to be really, really proud of my body and love my body. So I've always felt so grateful for that, especially in my work, because I can use it and it feels real.' Johnson's father is veteran actor Don Johnson. As for whether or not her films themselves work on the whole, Johnson told Poehler she's 'not going to f---ing cry' about that. Days after she declared the flop of her Marvel film Madame Web 'was not my fault' and pointed the finger at executives who 'who don't have a creative bone in their body,' she had similar comments to Poehler about Fifty Shades of Grey. 'The movie is as good a version of it as it could be,' she said. 'I signed on to a script that was different than what we ended up shooting—written by a different person. Then you're attached. You signed a contract, so you're signed on to do it… with a different actor. It was like a different thing and then it all changed and I was just in it.' Even though Johnson has an easy attitude about filming sex scenes, she admitted she had to be 'brave' to do the film at the time. 'I just feel proud of myself,' she said. 'There were no intimacy coordinators then.'
