All the clues and theories about who Glastonbury's mystery Patchwork band is
Metro confirmed recently Patchwork – billed to perform at this year's Glastonbury Festival – is not a 'geriatric' band from South London of the same name… You're welcome. So the question remains: who the hell is it?
For the uninitiated, the Glastonbury 2025 line-up with all the stage times dropped yesterday, three weeks before the Worthy Farm opens its gates for another year for headline shows by The 1975, Neil Young and Olivia Rodrigo.
Listed in the primetime slot of 6.15pm on Saturday June 28 on the coveted Pyramid Stage – between global superstar Raye and John Fogerty – is a mysterious band no one has ever heard of called Patchwork.
This is Glastonbury organisers' idea of a funny tease, which will end up being a famous band or musician's surprise set.
The same happened in 2023 when The Churn Ups turned out to be The Foo Fighters, who rocked out on the Pyramid Stage in what was an undisputed festival highlight.
But Patchwork is not just a random word: it's a riddle.
This is clear if The Churn Ups moniker was anything to go by; prior to Glastonbury 2023 fans linked it to the Foo Fighters, as lead singer Dave Grohl was in a band called Churn when he was a teenager.
An X account also started dropping Foo Fighters references in the lead up to the festival.
Now, an X account for Patchwork has also cropped up, so keep your eyes peeled for any hints in the coming weeks.
But for now, fans have their own ideas about who Patchwork could be…
Some fans think Harry Styles could be Patchwork, because, er, he wore a colourful patchwork cardigan once that everyone became obsessed with.
The As It Was hitmaker, 31, sparked a TikTok trend of fans recreating his colourful jumper, which he wore in February 2020 while rehearsing.
Tenuous, but possible…
Just like the Foo Fighters teased they were behind The Churn Ups mystery in June 2023 on their socials, Candida Doyle from Pulp mysteriously talked about her love of patchwork in a recent interview with Jo Whiley, which seems kinda' random.
'I used to do patchwork when I was on tour and I made a really nice bit of patchwork, that's all I can think of right now,' she said…
While it seems Pulp are rumoured most years for a Glastonbury surprise set, this year does seem feasible, as the Common People hitmakers have returned with their eighth studio album, More, scheduled to be released on June 6.
Before Patchwork was mentioned, US sisters Haim were rumoured to be heading for a secret set at Glastonbury this year, after BBC Radio star Lauren Laverne hinted as much in her BBC Radio show.
With their fourth album I Quit dropping in June after Women in Music Pt. II was released five years ago, it seems like a good time for Haim to descend on Worthy Farm.
The band has a long history with the festival, having first played in 2013, before slots in 2014, 2017 and 2022.
'They've got summer shows coming up, one is Dreamland Summer Series in Margate on June 27,' Lauren noted on BBC6 Music, before adding: 'What else is happening that weekend? It's a long way to come to go to Margate, not that Margate isn't great…'
Now the Patchwork clue is out, fans have pointed to a book of the same name by a writer called Sylvia Haim.
However, it seems a little bit of a stretch as they might not be enough of a big deal to warrant the Patchwork tease.
But that doesn't mean they won't fill one of the other secret set slots, simply billed at the moment as TBA.
Just as with Haim, actor Timothee Chalamet was rumoured to be performing a secret set of Bob Dylan songs before the Patchwork tease.
After he wowed critics with his performance as music icon Bob Dylan in the biopic A Complete Unknown, it was reported he is 'likely' to make a surprise appearance.
However, this was not thought to be a Pyramid Stage outing, but one for the Acoustic Stage on the Saturday night.
The Sun claimed he will appear alongside Dylan tribute band Not Completely Unknown.
While that all seems likely, now Patchwork is teased, fans can't help but think of the Blowin' In The Wind hitmaker's famous patchwork jacket, which featured on the cover of his 1976 album, Desire.
To add fuel to rumours, the Dune actor bought this very same patchwork jacket in March for over £20,000…
While Oasis have said they will not be performing at Glastonbury this year, it would be a very Oasis thing to turn up for a surprise set anyway, wouldn't it? More Trending
'Despite media speculation, Oasis will not be playing Glastonbury 2025 or any other festivals next year,' the brothers said in October.
After Noel and Liam Gallagher's years-long feud ended in a massive Oasis tour announcement last year, it's clear stranger things have happened.
Where does Patchwork come into this, you may ask…? Well, they patched things up, didn't they? Yeah, okay. Perhaps wishful thinking has got the better of us.
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MORE: Sir Rod Stewart, 80, cancels second concert over health 3 weeks before Glastonbury
MORE: Harry Styles catches everyone's eyes as he strolls around London in teeny tiny shorts
MORE: Glastonbury branded a 'ticking time bomb' in fresh warning from former executive
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