'24-hour rule' could relieve tension in couples' conflict
The '24-hour rule' can help you process your emotions before responding to an event or conversation that could lead to an even more heated argument. (Envato Elements pic)
PARIS : It's a situation most of us have experienced before – an offhand remark, a frustrating reaction, or even a simple misunderstanding with your partner can send tensions soaring.
In the heat of the moment, emotions run high, and it can feel urgent to get things off our chest – which is how a simple disagreement can quickly become a full-blown argument.
While minor frictions within a couple are normal, some conflicts can be avoided, or at least handled more effectively, if we took time out before speaking to avoid saying things we might regret.
US psychologist Mark Travers, who specialises in couples therapy, recommends a technique he calls the '24-hour rule' to help defuse these kinds of explosive arguments as much as possible.
The idea is simple: in the event of disagreement, argument or any other tense exchange with your other half, allow 24 hours to pass before responding. Take advantage of this breathing space to ease the pressure before responding to an event or conversation that has got under your skin.
The aim, clearly, is to avoid letting your emotions get the better of you, and to talk things over with a clear head. In an article published in Forbes magazine, the therapist extols the many benefits of his method for getting a grip on our emotions.
'Far from avoiding confrontation or downplaying the significance of an issue, the 24-hour rule creates space for reflection and emotional regulation. By pausing, you can approach the situation with a calmer, more thoughtful mindset,' he explains.
The 24-hour rule can be extended beyond romantic relationships to handle tense situations with family members, friends, or colleagues. (Envato Elements pic)
What can you do during this cooling-off period to avoid dwelling on the subject? If simply taking a step back isn't enough, Travers suggests doing relaxing and/or creative activities like yoga, meditation, writing, painting, or going for a walk.
'These give your mind the clarity it needs to separate the issue from the initial emotional charge,' he says.
'The 24-hour rule creates this vital space for reflection and understanding, enabling you to step back, assess the situation objectively, and determine whether the issue is as pressing as it initially seemed or if it reveals deeper concerns that need exploration.'
This approach can be extended beyond romantic relationships as a means to handle tense situations with family members, at work, or in friendships. 'When you consciously take a step back from the situation, you train yourself to shift from a reactive mindset to a proactive one, creating space for rationality and perspective.
'Over time, this practice not only improves how you navigate conflicts but also enhances your overall emotional intelligence – a vital asset in any relationship,' Travers concludes.
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