Table Manners And Etiquette Are Quite Different - Here's How
These days, the words "etiquette" and "manners" are used more or less interchangeably. Maybe etiquette is seen as a fancier set of manners -- the kind of fork-crossing, tea-stirring social cues you should learn lest you embarrass yourself in high society -- but for most people, they're seen as two words that mean "polite behavior." But in truth, these two words have distinct definitions: etiquette refers to the rules of social behavior, while manners refer to the way we abide by those rules.
The foundations of etiquette, as Emily Post herself will remind you, are to be honest, respectful, and considerate. When you ask someone to pass you the salt at the dinner table, you're not making a request any reasonable person will say no to, but you ask all the same. Why? Because you're considerate of the fact that you're sitting at the dinner table as equals, and that it's not your place to issue an order. To do otherwise would be disrespectful -- so you say please, even if you aren't actually sitting at the table as equals. (King Charles III would probably say please if he asked you to pass the salt, wouldn't he?) Saying "please pass the salt" is the manner, while the ethos of respect and consideration that prompts it is etiquette.
Read more: Here's How You Should Be Sharpening Serrated Knives
This difference explains why some of the classic examples of etiquette you see in movies may seem bewildering to the modern eye. Does it really matter if you use your salad fork to eat the main course? Is it really such a travesty if you don't put your fork and knife in the proper position when you've finished eating? If you rest your elbows on the table when you eat, are you no better than swine in the eyes of society? The answer to these questions, of course, is no, because we don't live in an Edith Wharton novel. But these manners reflected the way different eras interpreted the code of etiquette.
The rule against elbows on the table originated in medieval times, when people ate together at large rectangular tables and a pair of elbows in the wrong place could knock over a few goblets. The rules concerning cutlery communication came about as a way to let the servers know the status of your meal without interrupting your conversation with the other diners. And the array of different forks was nothing but a way of signifying social status. Nowadays, these rules may be less important in most settings while others, like ordering on-menu whenever possible or avoiding stacking your plates to make things easier on your waiter, become more important. But the etiquette -- the reasoning behind these rules -- remains the same.
For more food and drink goodness, join The Takeout's newsletter. Get taste tests, food & drink news, deals from your favorite chains, recipes, cooking tips, and more!
Read the original article on The Takeout.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Fox News
an hour ago
- Fox News
Unearthed Ancient Roman shoes draw 'impressed gasps' after being buried for 2,000 years
Volunteers were baffled recently when they unearthed not one but two ancient shoes at a historic British site. The discoveries were made at Magna, an Ancient Roman fort in Northumberland, in late May. The Roman Army Museum, located near the fort in Brampton, made the announcement. Photographs show volunteers holding the remarkably preserved leather shoes, which have maintained their form despite being buried for 2,000 years. A volunteer named Jo found the first shoe, which "seems to have all of its sole layers intact," the organization said. The shoe's heel area is still attached to it; its outer sole still contains hobnails. Officials said the find sheds light on how these shoes were crafted. "This gives us a really good look at how Roman shoes were made: Multiple layers of leather were used to form the sole, held together with thongs [leather strips], stitching and hobnails," the Roman Army Museum said. "These also reinforced the outer surface for walking and are found on many styles of shoe." "It's always exciting to find anything that hasn't been touched for 2,000 years, but a shoe is such a personal item." Officials were unable to determine the size of the shoe, as a toe area was missing, but they said it "would have been a large shoe when complete." The volunteer beamed about the find, telling officials that it "really puts you in touch" with the Romans who lived at the fort. "It's always exciting to find anything that hasn't been touched for 2,000 years, but a shoe is such a personal item," said Jo, the volunteer. Before long, another piece of footwear was found. The second shoe was roughly equal to a U.S. men's size 14, which impressed the volunteers. The find "immediately drew impressed gasps" from volunteers and staff archaeologists, according to the museum. "Although in this case [it was] only one of the several sole layers, the sheer size of the shoe and guesses about who could have worn it dominated the conversation," the organization said. "Measuring in at 32cm long, the equivalent of U.K. men's size 12-14 in modern footwear, could this one be the largest in the Vindolanda Trust collection? We certainly look forward to finding out!" Volunteers also recently dug up pottery fragments, tent pegs and other rarities, but the shoes stole the show. Magna is situated near Hadrian's Wall, a Roman wall designed to protect the northern border of the Britannia from the Picts. The fort was established around 80 A.D., predating Hadrian's Wall by a few decades. Last month, a nearby fort made international headlines when a couple found an ancient depiction of a Roman goddess during another volunteer dig. Fox News Digital reached out to Vindolanda Trust for additional information.
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
'Surprise' as 21 cats rescued from Birmingham house fire
Twenty-one cats rescued from a house fire in Birmingham will soon be looking for their forever homes. Police were "surprised" when they discovered the unusual amount of felines inside a burning property in Nechells earlier this month. They were rescued from inside once firefighters had made the home safe. READ MORE: Moment masked thieves steal pregnant Tamworth woman's car with her baby scans Police said the cats were taken to a shelter and will soon be looking for new homes. A West Midlands Police spokesperson said: "We've rescued over 20 cats from a house fire in Birmingham. Get breaking news on BirminghamLive WhatsApp "Earlier this month, our response officers were called to attend a fire at a property in Nechells, Birmingham, to assist our fire colleagues. "After the house was made safe, officers entered the property and were surprised to discover 21 cats. Don't miss the biggest and breaking stories by signing up to the BirminghamLive newsletter here "Thanks to some fantastic partnership work with WMFS and the RSPCA, all the cats were rescued and taken to a shelter. "We're happy to report they're all safe, sound, and soaking up the cuddles. "They're now receiving the care they need and will soon be looking for new homes. "Keep an eye out. "These furry friends will be ready to bring joy to new families very soon."
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
Move on from a bad workplace
Re Zoe Williams's article (MI6 has appointed its first female leader. What took it so long?, 16 June), after being told by my (new, younger, male) boss that I was 'motherly' and 'aggressive', I handed in my notice. Shame I had to leave the job I loved, but better that than working for dickheads. If they're not interested in you, it is not worth trying to change them from within. Move on to where you are appreciated; good workplaces do JacksonLondon • While not wishing to doubt the sincerity of Marci Shore, who said 'The lesson of 1933 is you get out sooner rather than later', and her fellow professors, should they not be anticipating the lesson of 1938 and move further away from the US than Canada (Why a professor of fascism left the US: 'The lesson of 1933 is – you get out', 16 June)?Robert Arrowsmith Blackburn, Lancashire • I am a retired teacher, and one morning I asked one of my students: 'How are you this morning?'. 'I'm good,' she replied. 'Don't you mean 'I'm well?'' 'Yeah, I'm well good.' Language evolves, and changes, and the younger generation is always one step (at least) ahead of us (Letters, 20 June).Iain FentonLancaster • 'When did cooks start pan‑frying rather than just frying?' asks Dr Mary Oldham (Letters, 18 June). About the same time that they started oven MaltBythorn, Cambridgeshire • 'What else can you fry in?' asks Dr Mary Oldham. A deep fat fryer. Or an air EvansEarby, LancashireError in retrieving data Sign in to access your portfolio Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data
