Latest news with #manners
Daily Mail
a day ago
- General
- Daily Mail
TOM UTLEY: At 71, I'm mortified when people offer me a seat on the train... but I'm furious when they don't. That's growing old for you!
One of nine signs that we're growing old, I read somewhere this week, is a feeling of embarrassment when people start offering us their seats on buses and trains. I should say at once that I can think of a great many more than nine signs of my increasing decrepitude, both physical and mental, as more than 50 years of chain-smoking and enthusiastic drinking begin to take their toll. It's also true that in my home city of London, at least, it's extremely rare to see anyone giving up a seat for a fellow passenger these days, no matter how obviously ancient or frail the strap-hanging passenger may be. On my Tube to work in Kensington, indeed, I'm often surrounded by parties of screeching schoolchildren, in the peak of health, occupying every seat in the carriage on their way to the museums of South Ken. Meanwhile, every adult has to stand – and that includes those who are burdened by old age, or encumbered with walking sticks or shopping. I'm told this has something to do with official school-trip guidance to teachers on the precious little souls' health and safety. But to me it just looks like appalling manners. It was very different in my childhood, I can tell you, when failing to stand for an adult was almost a capital offence. Indeed, I still remember, with undying shame, an agonisingly embarrassing bus trip I took with my beloved godmother, Winnie, 60 long years ago when I had just turned 11. With extraordinary generosity, she had sent me £2 for my birthday, and invited me up to London for the day (we lived in Kintbury, Berkshire, at the time), to spend it at Hamleys toy shop in Regent Street. To the 11-year-old me, £2 – worth more than £36 today, according to the Bank of England's historical inflation index – was a sum beyond my wildest dreams, vastly more than I had ever possessed before. I fondly imagined I could now afford almost anything in Hamleys. You'll have some idea of how rich I felt, when I tell that in those days my siblings and I received in pocket money one old penny a week for every year of our age. At 11, therefore, I received 11d a week (a fraction less than 5p) – which meant that £2 represented more than 43 weeks' worth of pocket money! This would surely be more than enough, I reckoned, to buy the Scalextric set – all the rage among my boarding-school friends – on which I had set my heart. But it wasn't enough. Not nearly. When we arrived at the Scalextric counter, the assistant told us that the basic set I fancied cost an unbelievable sum – as much as £10, if I remember rightly, which is worth nearly £180 today. In the shock of that moment, I did something of which I'll be ashamed until my dying day. I burst into tears. But it got worse. To shut me up, Winnie fished her chequebook from her handbag and bought the Scalextric set for me. I was mortified, begging her not to, and telling her I couldn't be more sorry for behaving like Violet Elizabeth Bott, the spoilt little girl in the Just William books. As if this wasn't bad enough, then came the hideously embarrassing bus trip I mentioned earlier. When Winnie and I boarded, there were plenty of seats available, and we took a couple at the front on the lower deck, where I sat guiltily clutching the present I'd acquired through my disgustingly girly display. But the bus filled up at the next stop, and I noticed an old woman standing next to me, clutching shopping bags and clearly in need of a seat. Every instinct told me I should leap up and offer her mine. The trouble was that Winnie – herself in her 60s or 70s at the time, which seemed as old as the Parthenon to me – appeared not to have noticed the new arrival, and carried on telling me a long and convoluted story (I can't remember about what). Where did my duty lie? Should I risk affronting my generous godmother, by cutting her off in the middle of her story to give up my seat? Or should I leave that other old lady standing, and reveal myself to Winnie as not only a cry-baby but a boorish lout? Not knowing the etiquette, I sat frozen to my seat in horror and mortification for the rest of the journey, wishing I was anywhere but there. Clearly, it was the wrong decision. Indeed, my recollection of my behaviour that day has never lost its power to bring a blush to my cheeks, in all the six decades that have passed since. Funny how these trivial incidents from our past come back to haunt us. But I'm straying from my point about those signs of ageing. The fact is that at 71, I've now reached that time of life when once in a blue moon, even in London, a young person offers me a seat on a bus or a train. When it happens, I always find it slightly embarrassing and hurtful to my pride (do I really look so feeble already?) – never more so than when my kind-hearted fellow passenger is a woman. But though I almost always decline the offer, just lately I've been known to accept it. The paradox is that I now find it infuriating when I'm strap-hanging in a carriage full of fit men in their 20s and 30s who refuse to budge from their seats while we older folk stand and wilt. Embarrassed when they offer. Angry when they don't. Ah, well, that's growing old for you. As for the rest of those nine signs of ageing, I can tick quite a few. Yes, I ask them to turn down the music in restaurants when I can't hear myself speak, let alone anyone else – and, yes, I much prefer eating off proper plates to having my food served up on roof-tiles or slabs of wood. I can also tick the box marked: 'You're baffled and smarting that your adult children don't trust you around their little bundles.' For heaven's sake! Mrs U and I managed to bring up four healthy boys without any major mishap. Do we really need instructions on how best to look after our grandchildren? As for railing against the injustices of the world when we watch the news, I must plead guilty to that one, too. Indeed, I had more than a few choice words to scream at the TV this week when our morally bankrupt House of Commons voted by that huge majority to decriminalise the murder of fully-formed unborn babies in the womb. But surely you don't have to be old to feel aghast at that. Meanwhile, scores of signs of ageing failed to make it on to this week's list. I'm thinking of the time I waste trudging upstairs to retrieve my specs from the bedroom, only to forget what I've come for when I get there. Then there's reading a whodunnit almost all the way through, before suddenly realising, two pages from the end, that we know the answer because we've read it before. But of course readers could add scores of their own, while I've left room for only one more. OK, I admit it: a sure sign of ageing is rambling on about the good old days, when children by and large were more respectful of adults than they are today. My only excuse is that it's true.
Yahoo
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
This mom's ruler trick at a party just taught a social lesson everyone needs
What do you get when you mix a birthday party, a toy setup, and a ruler? For one mom, it became the perfect chance to teach her daughter a skill many adults still struggle with: how to navigate social situations with confidence and kindness. In a now-viral Instagram video posted by parenting advocate and author Alyson Kenny (@chasingcivility), she gently walks her daughter through how to welcome guests, introduce friends, and respect personal space. The clip is captioned: 'Introductions and personal space can be tricky even for adults. It's never too early to introduce these social skills. I recommend starting to introduce these skills around age 3.' #manners #etiquette #socialskills #parenting The response from parents has been overwhelmingly positive. With With 593,000 views, the video is clearly striking a chord—especially for caregivers trying to raise kind, emotionally aware kids. Related: 7 activities that teach preschoolers + toddlers social skills In the clip, Kenny coaches her daughter through a pretend play scenario: how to introduce friends who don't know each other yet. Her daughter practices saying their names and even shares something fun about each—'Emma likes Disney World,' she says proudly. Then Kenny pulls out a ruler and asks, 'When you're meeting new people, do we stand six inches apart or 18 inches apart?' Her daughter replies, 'Eighteen inches—because they'll pop their bubble.' It's a brilliant visual. In just a few calm minutes, Kenny models how parents can teach social scripts and respectful boundaries in a way that feels safe and engaging—not forced. This kind of modeling is especially helpful for kids who learn best through visuals or routines. The comments on Kenny's post show just how needed this kind of intentional parenting content is: @crissygirl500: 'Omg the ruler!! I've been trying to teach my toddlers about space but I never thought to get out an ACTUAL RULER! That's genius! Thank you.' @katieewillems: 'I love seeing this! If there's one thing my mom definitely got right, it was teaching me social etiquette, manners, hospitality, and gratitude. These skills will last forever! Way to go '@pippagrintlewis: 'The ruler! My 5-year-old son is so sweet and social but I am constantly reminding him to back up a little and give our friends space. I love this approach! Immediate follow ' Rather than just praising the moment, these parents are reflecting on their own childhoods—and how much they want to pass these lessons down. Experts agree that social skills can be taught just like any other skill—especially when broken down into small, manageable parts. According to the National Association of School Psychologists' 2020 Practice Model, effective social development in children includes fostering social communication and interactions, problem-solving, and anger and conflict management Rather than expecting children to 'just pick it up,' NASP recommends using modeling, role-playing, and real-world practice to help kids internalize these behaviors. That's exactly what Alyson Kenny's video models—using a quick, low-pressure play scenario to teach introductions, conversation cues, and personal space. By practicing a script like 'Emma, this is Blakely,' and using a ruler to measure respectful distance, kids gain a visual and verbal framework they can draw on in real social situations. It's a calm, consistent approach—and one that supports both confidence and connection. Related: Your child's social skills in kindergarten are more important than their academics If you'd like to borrow from Kenny's approach, here are a few simple ways to make it your own: 1. Practice in calm moments. Before a party or playdate, use dolls or toys to role-play introductions and small talk. 2. Use props. Grab a ruler or even stretch your arms out to help kids visualize appropriate personal space. 3. Narrate the why. Instead of saying 'don't get too close,' try: 'Giving people space helps them feel more comfortable.' 4. Repeat often. Kids learn best with practice. Revisit the same ideas weekly, not just once. 5. Keep it playful. No shaming, just gentle guidance. A little fun makes learning stick. Kenny's video shows how powerful small, intentional moments can be. With a simple setup and calm guidance, she turns playtime into a meaningful lesson in connection and respect. Teaching emotional intelligence doesn't require perfection—just presence, practice, and a little creativity. Because whether your child is three or thirteen, there's always room to grow the social skills that help them thrive.
Wall Street Journal
4 days ago
- General
- Wall Street Journal
‘Just Good Manners' Review: Mind Your Mores
In the James Cameron film 'Titanic' there's a brief scene in which a young girl gets poked in the back so that she'll sit up straight, like a lady. Viewers are given to understand that they're seeing how etiquette crushes the spirit, the way a corset crushes the ribs. We are a long way from 1997, when the movie came out (let alone from 1912, when the ship sailed and sank), and the likelihood today of any young person getting lessons in deportment has dwindled. Slouching is in, formality is out, and the sight of more than two forks on the table is enough to make a dinner guest break out in hives. Yet people persist in wanting to know and understand the correct forms, even if their details seem antiquated or obsolete. Who, amid widespread cultural flux, can advise them? Emily Post became the American maven of manners in 1922, advocating gentility and founding a dynasty that is still consulted by the socially anxious to this day. Judith Martin became a hit as Miss Manners in the newspaper column she launched in 1978. In the U.K., Debrett's has long advised Britons on such matters.
Forbes
09-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Forbes
Today's NYT Strands Puzzle: Hints, Spangram And Answers For Tuesday, June 10th
Today's NYT Strands hints and answers Credit: New York Times Looking for Monday's Strands hints, spangram and answers? You can find them here: It's Tuesday! Huzzah! I'm not sure why this is cause for celebration, but I do know that Tuesday is a somewhat overlooked day of the week. People are rarely excited about it unless it's Taco Tuesday. In fact, why not let it be Taco Tuesday tonight? I'm going to have tacos, in any case. But before I do, let's uncover some words in today's Strands grid! Strands is the newest game in the New York Times' stable of puzzle games. It's a fun twist on classic word search games. Every day we're given a new theme and then tasked with uncovering all the words on the grid that fit that theme, including a spangram that spans two sides of the board. One of these words is the spangram which crosses from one side of the grid to another and reveals even more about the day's theme. Spoilers ahead. Read on for today's theme and some hints to help you uncover today's words. Instead of giving you the first two letters of each word, today I'm giving out three hints instead of two. Today's Theme: Mind your manners. Hint: Sit up straight. Clue: Don't interrupt. Here are the first two letters of each of today's words: Remember, spoilers ahead! Today's spangram is: BEPOLITE Here's the full list of words: Here's the completed Strands grid: Today's Strands Screenshot: Erik Kain It took me a little while to find my first word, or rather the first correct word. I always find a ton of words that don't actually count. Once I had THANK, CONSIDER and RESPECT, I snagged the spangram — BEPOLITE — easily enough. All told, while it took me a bit to get going, once I did these came quickly. How did you do on your Strands today? Let me know on Twitter and Facebook. Be sure to check out my blog for my daily Wordle guides as well as all my other writing about TV shows, streaming guides, movie reviews, video game coverage and much more. Thanks for stopping by!
CNET
09-06-2025
- Entertainment
- CNET
Today's NYT Strands Hints, Answer and Help for June 10 #464
Looking for the most recent Strands answer? Click here for our daily Strands hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Mini Crossword, Wordle, Connections and Connections: Sports Edition puzzles. Todays NYT Strands puzzle is a fun one. Think of good manners and the words that describe them, and you'll ace this puzzle. If you need hints and answers, read on. I go into depth about the rules for Strands in this story. If you're looking for today's Wordle, Connections and Mini Crossword answers, you can visit CNET's NYT puzzle hints page. Read more: NYT Connections Turns 1: These Are the 5 Toughest Puzzles So Far Hint for today's Strands puzzle Today's Strands theme is: Mind your manners. If that doesn't help you, here's a clue: Emily Post or Amy Vanderbilt. Clue words to unlock in-game hints Your goal is to find hidden words that fit the puzzle's theme. If you're stuck, find any words you can. Every time you find three words of four letters or more, Strands will reveal one of the theme words. These are the words I used to get those hints, but any words of four or more letters that you find will work: THEN, BANE, CRAN, RACE, LOPE, LOPES, TRACE, LION, LIONS, HANK, CONS, TIDE, KALE, LAZE, PANS, HOLE, TONS, TOLE Answers for today's Strands puzzle These are the answers that tie into the theme. The goal of the puzzle is to find them all, including the spangram, a theme word that reaches from one side of the puzzle to the other. When you've got all of them (I originally thought there were always eight but learned that the number can vary), every letter on the board will be used. Here are the nonspangram answers: SHARE, THANK, LISTEN, RESPECT, CONSIDER, APOLOGIZE Today's Strands spangram The completed NYT Strands puzzle for June 10, 2025, #464. NYT/Screenshot by CNET Today's Strands spangram is BEPOLITE. To find it, start with the B that's three letters to the right on the top row, and wind down.
