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‘Just Good Manners' Review: Mind Your Mores
‘Just Good Manners' Review: Mind Your Mores

Wall Street Journal

time5 days ago

  • General
  • Wall Street Journal

‘Just Good Manners' Review: Mind Your Mores

In the James Cameron film 'Titanic' there's a brief scene in which a young girl gets poked in the back so that she'll sit up straight, like a lady. Viewers are given to understand that they're seeing how etiquette crushes the spirit, the way a corset crushes the ribs. We are a long way from 1997, when the movie came out (let alone from 1912, when the ship sailed and sank), and the likelihood today of any young person getting lessons in deportment has dwindled. Slouching is in, formality is out, and the sight of more than two forks on the table is enough to make a dinner guest break out in hives. Yet people persist in wanting to know and understand the correct forms, even if their details seem antiquated or obsolete. Who, amid widespread cultural flux, can advise them? Emily Post became the American maven of manners in 1922, advocating gentility and founding a dynasty that is still consulted by the socially anxious to this day. Judith Martin became a hit as Miss Manners in the newspaper column she launched in 1978. In the U.K., Debrett's has long advised Britons on such matters.

I'm not tipping a slack-jawed teen for no work. Let's fix our tip culture.
I'm not tipping a slack-jawed teen for no work. Let's fix our tip culture.

Yahoo

time14-06-2025

  • Business
  • Yahoo

I'm not tipping a slack-jawed teen for no work. Let's fix our tip culture.

Food "tipping" has become an absolute circus, and I've had enough. The practice should be a straightforward way to reward exceptional service. Now, it's a guilt-ridden tap dance where a rogue iPad demands a 25% premium for a slack-jawed teen handing you a muffin. The social contract has been shredded, and we're all left fumbling with our wallets while the person behind us in line judges our generosity for a transaction that once went untipped. Tipping has become a source of national anxiety, a phenomenon known as "tipflation," and frankly, it's exhausting. If we don't draw some clear lines in the sand, we'll soon be tipping the self-checkout machine at the grocery. Today, we draw those lines and free well-intentioned consciences across America. The venerable Emily Post Institute, a longtime arbiter of American etiquette, offers guidelines applied in a world that no longer exists – or at least, one that didn't anticipate being asked to tip on a prepackaged sandwich you grab yourself. In the spirit of restoring some sanity, allow me to propose 10 reality-adjusted food tipping rules for 2025. 1. The full-service sit-down meal ‒ 18-22% This is where tipping tradition holds strong, and rightly so. If you're at a restaurant where a waiter or waitress takes your order, diligently attends to your table, and refills your drinks without you having to send up a flare, tip well. I will never forget Carlos' excellent service at Arzu in Roanoke, Virginia, when I attended Washington and Lee University. He treated a couple of college kids like royalty, and my wife and I remember those dates fondly. I didn't have much money, but I tipped him like I did. Professionals who navigate multiple tables, remember the nuanced details of your order and make you feel special earn every penny of that tip. 2. The counter offensive ‒ 0% Most dining experiences these days stand in stark contrast to the classic waited table. If you order at a counter, pick up your food from someone hollering a number, fill your own drink and bus your own table – congratulations, you've just provided your own service. Tip yourself accordingly. The establishment is selling you a product. Asking for a 20-30% tip via a swiveling screen for this "privilege" is an affront to human dignity. The practice is a wage subsidy properly built into the price. If businesses can't charge that price, the food isn't good enough. Opinion: Tourism is the next casualty in Trump's trade war. Our economy might not recover. 3. The hybrid hustle ‒ 5-10% We should also be honest when establishments fall somewhere between waited tables and self-serve: Order at counter, food delivered, tables bussed by staff ‒ 10%. You've placed your own order, but someone is bringing food to your table and cleaning up afterward. That's a service apart from what you'd get at home. They're doing part of the traditional waiter's job, so they should earn part of the tip. Order at counter, pick up food yourself, tables bussed by staff ‒ 5%. You're still doing most of the legwork, but at least you don't have to clear your own dishes. If the staff keeps the dining area and your table clean, a modest 5% tip is a fair acknowledgement. Opinion alerts: Get columns from your favorite columnists + expert analysis on top issues, delivered straight to your device through the USA TODAY app. Don't have the app? Download it for free from your app store. 4. The buffet brigade ‒ 10% At a buffet, you're largely self-sufficient in the food acquisition department. However, if someone is diligently refilling your iced tea, bringing extra napkins and clearing the leaning tower of used plates, they deserve a tip. Ten percent is a good benchmark for this attentiveness. If you never see a soul after the initial drink order, don't feel bad adjusting the tip accordingly. 5. Coffee, cocktails and courtesy ‒ $1 minimum per drink, double it for effort Coffee, beer, wine, liquor on the rocks: A dollar per drink is a solid minimum, especially if it's a straightforward pour or a quick brew. Mixology, barista art: If your bartender is whipping up a concoction with tequila, tarantula leg, smoke and a story, she might be a witch. On the other hand, she might be a truly gifted professional. The coffee barista doesn't have to craft a swan in your latte foam. Skill deserves a double reward, unless she puts a hex on you. Respect the minimum: Throwing coins, digital or otherwise, at staff just feels cheap and unappreciative. Don't do it. Yes, I know the percentages may be higher. Thankfully, I'm writing the rules. Opinion: Stop asking me for tips. 'Tipflation' is out of control. 6. Take care of your people This one's crucial. If you're on a first-name basis with the barista who knows your complicated coffee order by heart, the waiter who remembers your favorite table, or the bartender who starts your usual when you walk in – tip them well. Consistently. These are your people. They make your daily routines or weekly outings better. Fostering that relationship is worth every extra dollar. 7. Cash remains king While cards are convenient, cash tips avoid credit card processing fees or complex tip-pooling arrangements where the distribution can be murky. Cash itself is a tangible sign of appreciation. 8. Delivery days ‒ $5 minimum with uplifts This one is a little more complicated because the interaction with a delivery driver is usually brief. Drivers from third parties like DoorDash and Grubhub usually aren't responsible for accuracy of the order or the quality of the food. Use some common sense here. If you don't want to get out in the weather, tip more. If your order isn't smashed or spilled, tip more. My suggestion is to tip the minimum and then supplement with cash when the order arrives. The notable caveat these days is that your generous front-end tip may ensure that your order is picked up quickly and at your front door. If you're eating in your sweatpants, splurge for the extra convenience and call it a win. 9. No SALT Don't tip on state and local taxes (SALT). The government is literally charging you to eat. You should not pay someone else a percentage of that amount. For that matter, it's weird for the government to do that in the first place. Maybe we should become the great Americans we were meant to be and refuse to tax food and beverages so we can tip helpful people instead of the government. 10. Lemonade stand ‒ 100%+ On the rare occasion that you see children out with a lemonade stand, bake sale or other offering, the minimum tip is 100%. Not only should you seek out these opportunities, but our generosity shapes the future workforce. Always incentivize work. I ran around my neighborhood as a kid with a wagon to sell tomatoes I grew. My gracious neighbors tipped me unbelievably. I'd come home with a wad of cash and an empty wagon time and again. Those tips primed the pump for my entire professional life. Be generous and incentivize great service. Reward hustle, especially in younger people who are just starting out. Fight the culinary pressure culture that says people are entitled to tips and don't need to earn them. Let's reclaim some common sense in 2025. Our blood pressure (and our wallets) will thank us. USA TODAY Network Tennessee columnist Cameron Smith is a Memphis-born, Brentwood-raised recovering political attorney raising four boys in Nolensville with his particularly patient wife, Justine. Direct outrage or agreement to or @DCameronSmith on Twitter. This column first appeared in the Tennessean. You can read diverse opinions from our USA TODAY columnists and other writers on the Opinion front page, on X, formerly Twitter, @usatodayopinion and in our Opinion newsletter. This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: How much should I tip? I'll tell you | Opinion

NYT Strands answers for June 10, 2025 (#464): clues, spangram guide, theme hints, and full word list explained
NYT Strands answers for June 10, 2025 (#464): clues, spangram guide, theme hints, and full word list explained

Time of India

time10-06-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Time of India

NYT Strands answers for June 10, 2025 (#464): clues, spangram guide, theme hints, and full word list explained

NYT Strands answers and hints for June 10 puzzle #464: full word list, spangram, and clue guide- Looking for the latest NYT Strands answers for June 10, 2025? We've got you covered with every hint, clue, and answer you'll need to solve today's puzzle. This edition is all about manners—yes, the good old 'please and thank you' kind. If you're stuck or just curious, this detailed guide breaks down the theme, the spangram, and the complete word list for puzzle #464. What is today's NYT Strands theme for June 10? Theme: "Mind your manners" Today's NYT Strands puzzle (#464) is centered around manners and polite behavior. Think of all those courteous habits we were taught growing up—saying "thank you," listening when others speak, being respectful—and you're on the right track. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like Enlarged Prostate Has Nothing to Do with Age. Just Stop Doing This One Common Thing! Health Benefits Undo For extra help, the official clue from the puzzle references famous etiquette experts Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt, both known for their work on proper social behavior. What words helped unlock hints in today's Strands puzzle? Before the theme words can be found, you need to enter common words of four or more letters to earn in-game hints. Here are the starter words that were successfully used to unlock clues: Live Events THEN BANE CRAN RACE LOPE LOPES TRACE LION LIONS HANK CONS TIDE KALE LAZE PANS HOLE TONS TOLE Any similar words will also work. Finding three valid words triggers the automatic reveal of one theme-related word. What is today's Strands spangram? The Strands spangram for June 10 is: BEPOLITE To find this word on the board, start with the B that's three letters to the right on the top row, and trace down to complete the word across the board. The spangram always ties the puzzle theme together—today's being about manners, "be polite" says it all. What are the full answers for today's NYT Strands puzzle? Here is the complete list of words related to today's theme 'Mind your manners.' These are the main answers that fit the puzzle's courteous behavior theme: SHARE THANK LISTEN RESPECT CONSIDER APOLOGIZE Each word reflects a form of polite or respectful interaction—exactly what the puzzle aimed for. How difficult was today's puzzle compared to others? This one was moderately challenging. If you're not familiar with older etiquette figures like Emily Post, the clue might not have clicked right away. But once you catch the manners theme, the words fall into place. Still, compared to some of the toughest past puzzles, today's wasn't the most brutal. Here's a quick look at a few of the hardest NYT Strands puzzles in recent memory: #1: "Dated Slang" – Jan. 21 Toughest word: PHAT #2: "Thar She Blows!" – Jan. 15 Toughest word: BALEEN #3: "Off the Hook" – Jan. 9 Toughest word: BIGEYE These puzzles leaned heavily into niche vocabulary, making them trickier than today's more accessible 'manners' theme. Was today's Strands worth your time? Absolutely. With a theme that's both relatable and easy to grasp, today's NYT Strands puzzle felt fresh yet familiar. The word choices were meaningful and well connected to the "Mind your manners" theme. If you're a fan of word games that challenge your vocabulary without diving into overly obscure territory, puzzle #464 was a win. Tip for tomorrow: Keep your eye on the theme, start with basic four-letter words, and let the spangram reveal itself naturally. And remember, sometimes being polite isn't just good behavior—it's the answer.

Today's NYT Strands Hints, Answer and Help for June 10 #464
Today's NYT Strands Hints, Answer and Help for June 10 #464

CNET

time09-06-2025

  • Entertainment
  • CNET

Today's NYT Strands Hints, Answer and Help for June 10 #464

Looking for the most recent Strands answer? Click here for our daily Strands hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Mini Crossword, Wordle, Connections and Connections: Sports Edition puzzles. Todays NYT Strands puzzle is a fun one. Think of good manners and the words that describe them, and you'll ace this puzzle. If you need hints and answers, read on. I go into depth about the rules for Strands in this story. If you're looking for today's Wordle, Connections and Mini Crossword answers, you can visit CNET's NYT puzzle hints page. Read more: NYT Connections Turns 1: These Are the 5 Toughest Puzzles So Far Hint for today's Strands puzzle Today's Strands theme is: Mind your manners. If that doesn't help you, here's a clue: Emily Post or Amy Vanderbilt. Clue words to unlock in-game hints Your goal is to find hidden words that fit the puzzle's theme. If you're stuck, find any words you can. Every time you find three words of four letters or more, Strands will reveal one of the theme words. These are the words I used to get those hints, but any words of four or more letters that you find will work: THEN, BANE, CRAN, RACE, LOPE, LOPES, TRACE, LION, LIONS, HANK, CONS, TIDE, KALE, LAZE, PANS, HOLE, TONS, TOLE Answers for today's Strands puzzle These are the answers that tie into the theme. The goal of the puzzle is to find them all, including the spangram, a theme word that reaches from one side of the puzzle to the other. When you've got all of them (I originally thought there were always eight but learned that the number can vary), every letter on the board will be used. Here are the nonspangram answers: SHARE, THANK, LISTEN, RESPECT, CONSIDER, APOLOGIZE Today's Strands spangram The completed NYT Strands puzzle for June 10, 2025, #464. NYT/Screenshot by CNET Today's Strands spangram is BEPOLITE. To find it, start with the B that's three letters to the right on the top row, and wind down.

Table Manners And Etiquette Are Quite Different - Here's How
Table Manners And Etiquette Are Quite Different - Here's How

Yahoo

time08-06-2025

  • General
  • Yahoo

Table Manners And Etiquette Are Quite Different - Here's How

These days, the words "etiquette" and "manners" are used more or less interchangeably. Maybe etiquette is seen as a fancier set of manners -- the kind of fork-crossing, tea-stirring social cues you should learn lest you embarrass yourself in high society -- but for most people, they're seen as two words that mean "polite behavior." But in truth, these two words have distinct definitions: etiquette refers to the rules of social behavior, while manners refer to the way we abide by those rules. The foundations of etiquette, as Emily Post herself will remind you, are to be honest, respectful, and considerate. When you ask someone to pass you the salt at the dinner table, you're not making a request any reasonable person will say no to, but you ask all the same. Why? Because you're considerate of the fact that you're sitting at the dinner table as equals, and that it's not your place to issue an order. To do otherwise would be disrespectful -- so you say please, even if you aren't actually sitting at the table as equals. (King Charles III would probably say please if he asked you to pass the salt, wouldn't he?) Saying "please pass the salt" is the manner, while the ethos of respect and consideration that prompts it is etiquette. Read more: Here's How You Should Be Sharpening Serrated Knives This difference explains why some of the classic examples of etiquette you see in movies may seem bewildering to the modern eye. Does it really matter if you use your salad fork to eat the main course? Is it really such a travesty if you don't put your fork and knife in the proper position when you've finished eating? If you rest your elbows on the table when you eat, are you no better than swine in the eyes of society? The answer to these questions, of course, is no, because we don't live in an Edith Wharton novel. But these manners reflected the way different eras interpreted the code of etiquette. The rule against elbows on the table originated in medieval times, when people ate together at large rectangular tables and a pair of elbows in the wrong place could knock over a few goblets. The rules concerning cutlery communication came about as a way to let the servers know the status of your meal without interrupting your conversation with the other diners. And the array of different forks was nothing but a way of signifying social status. Nowadays, these rules may be less important in most settings while others, like ordering on-menu whenever possible or avoiding stacking your plates to make things easier on your waiter, become more important. But the etiquette -- the reasoning behind these rules -- remains the same. For more food and drink goodness, join The Takeout's newsletter. Get taste tests, food & drink news, deals from your favorite chains, recipes, cooking tips, and more! Read the original article on The Takeout.

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