'I still can't describe what that felt like to be told I had breast cancer'
AS an Intensive Care nurse, Eimear Watson from Enniskillen wasn't concerned when she felt some unusual tissue in her breast, as a previous checkup at the breast clinic had been all clear.
Just weeks later, realising she was the only woman left in the waiting room after a mammogram and a series of rapid tests, the news of her breast cancer came as a massive shock.
The 37-year-old mum of two bravely faced her months of gruelling treatment and gradually went back to work.
It wasn't until three months after this, that all the bottled-up emotion and fears for her husband and two young children, brought her to a standstill.
She was overwhelmed with anxiety and turned to Cancer Focus Northern Ireland for counselling.
Eimear is sharing her experience to support Cancer Focus Northern Ireland's new Therapeutic Cancer Support Centre opening in Enniskillen this week (28 May), offering direct local access in the South West to the kind of counselling, advice and support which has allowed her to get her life back on track.
"As a nurse and Ward Manager in the ICU at the South West Acute Hospital, I thought I knew what to worry about," she said.
"So when I noticed a small thickening in my breast in 2023, I brushed it off. I'd been to the breast clinic back in 2015, and it was all clear then. I told myself it was nothing.
"Eventually, though, I made an appointment with my GP and got referred for an ultrasound at the breast clinic. I wasn't remotely concerned.
"On September 15, 2023, I drove myself to Altnagelvin, more focused on the shopping I'd planned afterwards in Derry than the appointment itself. I only told my husband, Paul, so he'd know where I was.
"At the clinic, I put on the pink gown like it was any routine visit. The doctor said they'd start with an ultrasound because of my age. It wasn't until the radiologist said I also needed a mammogram that I began to worry. Something in her tone made time slow down.
"Back in the ultrasound room, things escalated quickly. Suddenly, they were talking about a lump, biopsies, and preliminary results. I was told I'd have to wait a few hours. Sitting alone in the waiting room, I remembered a colleague once saying, 'If you're the last one left at the breast clinic, that's not a good sign.' And there I was: alone."
Eventually, Eimear's Consultant and Breast Nurse Specialist called her in to deliver the devastating news.
"They were the last ones still working. That's when I heard the words: 'You have breast cancer', she said.
"I still don't have the words to describe what that felt like.
"The following weeks were a blur of appointments and waiting. And I hated the waiting. I'm not a patient person by nature, and all I wanted was to get on with treatment. My surgery was scheduled for 3rd October to remove the lump, and I was told I'd get results ten days later.
"I counted every single day. Then, the night before I was due to hear back, I got a call to say there was a delay. It would be another week. That was my lowest moment. I stayed in my pyjamas all day and cried."
However, Eimear knew she had to keep going.
"Finally, at the end of October, the results came in: the tumour has been completely removed and the surrounding tissue was clear. I was ecstatic. But I also learned the cancer was more aggressive than they had expected.
"Oddly, that made things clearer for me. I'm very practical, and I knew I wanted to do everything possible to stop it coming back," she recollected.
"So I started four rounds of chemotherapy, followed by two weeks of radiotherapy. My first chemo session was on Paul's birthday. All I could think was: 'In sickness and in health', right?
"I stayed at work right up until surgery and couldn't wait to return after. Work was my distraction - it kept me from thinking about what I was really afraid of. The hardest part wasn't the treatment. It was the thoughts about my family that haunted me."
Ultimately, it was her children and husband that helped see her through this tough time.
"I'd look at my children, Ollie (6) and Chloe (3), and wonder how their lives would be without me," she continued. "I worried about Paul raising them on his own. I thought of every milestone I might miss: birthdays, Christmases, holidays, exams, weddings. Even now, I can't think about my children and cancer in the same sentence without getting emotional.
"Radiotherapy finished on February 28. I had lost my hair, spent countless hours and miles on the road between Enniskillen and Altnagelvin, and faced years of hormone therapy with Tamoxifen and Zoladex. But I felt like I was finally through the worst."
On April 15 last year, Eimear went back to work and dived back into the chaos of everyday life - being a nurse, a mum, a wife, and even riding her horse again.
However, deep down, something didn't feel right.
"By July, I looked fine to everyone else," he said. "My hair was growing back, and I had my routine again. But I was consumed with a new fear: what if the cancer came back? The anxiety was relentless and brought me to a standstill.
"Thankfully, my Breast Nurse Specialist referred me to Cancer Focus NI's counselling service. That's when I met Helen, my counsellor based in Enniskillen.
"She helped me see the positives again and shift my thinking. She even encouraged me to go on a Cancer Focus NI retreat in Donegal.
"That retreat changed everything. It was a weekend with other women who had been through breast cancer - just like me. We shared stories, tears, laughter. For the first time, I could talk openly without worrying I was putting a burden on my friends or family.
"That's why I'm so passionate about the new Cancer Focus NI Therapeutic Cancer Support Centre in Enniskillen. It's a service I wish I'd had when I was going through treatment."
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