I Work At ‘Dateline.' Here's The 1 Question I Get Asked The Most — And My Answer Might Surprise You.

When I tell people I'm a writer at 'Dateline NBC,' I get a variety of reactions. Often I hear, 'Cool! What's Lester Holt really like?' Or 'Do you think that husband really disconnected his wife's oxygen tank while they were scuba diving on their honeymoon or was it just a bizarre accident?'
However, sometimes I detect a look of mild horror, the kind I imagine trauma surgeons and cops get. It's a look that says, Wow, you spend every day immersed in all that darkness. Isn't it depressing?
Actually ... no.
When I first started at 'Dateline,' the show followed a different format. We covered consumer issues, did investigations and profiles (one was of a young and sunny Taylor Swift, no less), and offered plenty of human interest stories. But times change and so does the audience. True crime is where our audience went and we met it there with, I like to think, an arsenal of journalistic talents: expert storytelling that captures victims, families and killers in all their human, complicated glory; the highest standards of fairness; and maybe just as important as anything else, true respect for the lives that are taken and the loved ones left behind.
Still, I admit the subject matter is dark. Nearly every episode involves a murder, or at least a disappearance. We do some powerful stories about the wrongfully convicted, but those people are usually convicted of killing someone. Death almost always figures into what happened in one way or another.
I work on the 'open' of the show: the minute and a half at the top that highlights the most dramatic parts of the story. It includes things like: how many hearts the victim touched, how shocking the crime was, and how depraved the killer's actions were. In short, it's made up of the saddest, starkest, most potent stuff. Like my colleagues in this strange, very particular universe, I have developed an eye for small moments that reveal deep emotion, whether it's anger or grief. And I've written the words 'a chilling discovery,' 'a savage assault,' and 'a bizarre twist' more times than I care to count.
So, yes … dark. And, of course, heartbreakingly sad.
But depressing? No.
Many of our greatest and most popular writers — including Stephen King, Gillian Flynn, Edgar Allen Poe and Agatha Christie, to name just a few — wrestle almost exclusively with sinister themes, like violence and murder. People don't tend to think of their work as 'depressing.' Spine-tingling? Yes. As well as engaging. Thought-provoking.
I would argue one of the reasons great writers engage with this material is that the stakes in a murder mystery are so high. A human life is taken. In Michael Cunningham's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel 'The Hours,' Virginia Woolf says, 'Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more. It's contrast.'
But dark stories offer a flip side as well: the possibility for redemption, hope and understanding. This is such a fundamental paradigm that it resonates even with children. Studies show that fairy tales, many of which are scary, help children process difficult emotions like fear, envy and loneliness. This reassures children that they are not alone and that they're 'normal.' Fairy tales give children a safe place to explore these feelings and can teach them how to express and deal with them in an effective, constructive way.
For grown-up readers, different kinds of mysteries may offer different kinds of sustenance. In an astute essay for Time magazine, award-winning novelist Tana French argues these stories mostly fall into one of two camps. The first, like those written by Christie, are about restoring order and seeing justice meted out. Her offerings are tidy, self-contained, feature a satisfying resolution — and go perfectly with a cup of tea. 'In a world that can often be chaotic and reasonless, we need these stories,' French writes.
Others, which French dubs 'wild mysteries,' ask us to engage with deeper questions about human nature. 'What are we capable of? How much of who we are is determined by choice, by circumstance, or by nature?' French asks. 'The questions stay unanswered because they're unanswerable.'
I like to think 'Dateline' gives viewers a bit of both kinds of stories. By the end of the hour, you will (almost always) know who committed the crime. You will know how. You will usually know why. But we take on the deeper, thornier questions, too, like how well do we ever really know another person — even one we're married to? Can a person simply snap? And, in an increasingly complicated world, what constitutes justice?
I know some people say that shows like 'Dateline' serve up the trauma and pain of real people for the entertainment of our viewers. But the show's producers tell me that the victims' loved ones say talking about the case provides a kind of balm. They refer to their experience working with 'Dateline' as cathartic and say it leaves them feeling 'lighter.' They feel like someone 'important' is really listening to them and they trust that we will take their story seriously and tell it correctly. It can be a truly transformative experience for them.
One producer also told me that 'Dateline' creates 'an important historical record of serious crime. Something that people can always look back on to see what really happened, told by the people it happened to.' In these times of rampant mis- and disinformation, this is no small thing.
I believe our stories also resonate with viewers because, though the terrible people are truly terrible, the heroes we feature really are heroic — whether it's the detective who picks up the ice cold case and keeps digging until she finds the truth or the prosecutor who refuses to give up on the impossible-to-prove case or the sister whose hands grow raw from putting up 'missing' posters.
These people's resilience struck me in an especially personal way several years ago. Though I'm fortunate to never have experienced violent crime, my mother died when I was a child. One otherwise-unremarkable day, I realized that I was older than she was when she passed. I thought I'd made my peace with her death years earlier, but on that day I was suddenly acutely aware of just how little time she'd been given on this planet. I was stewing in the sour juice of helplessness, bitterness and sadness when I started working on my next 'Dateline' story. As I began to go through the interview tapes to find the best soundbites, I found myself appreciating the friends and family members of the victim in a way I never had before. They had confronted the most terrible thing life could throw at them and somehow kept going in surprising, inspiring ways.
The same is true of the loved ones in most of our 'Dateline' stories. Some of these people have actually helped solve cases. Others have found inventive ways to help other families going through similar trauma. But no matter what they've experienced, there's one thing they all share: Despite any apprehension about becoming public people — which in this day and age can be unpleasant or even dangerous — they went on national TV to make sure we knew who their murdered cousin, aunt or friend was. They spoke up to keep their memories alive.
Their unbelievable strength has moved and healed me. I now carry some of their words around with me, like an aspirin for a headache, or a railing when I feel wobbly.
I work on a program that some have called 'The Murder Show.' They're not wrong, but maybe toiling in a dark world makes the light more visible. Maybe it's only because of sadness that we even know and understand joy. Maybe it's injustice that allows us to appreciate justice.
As Virginia Woolf might say, it's contrast.
Lorna Graham is the author of 'Where You Once Belonged' and 'The Ghost of Greenwich Village,' and is a writer at 'Dateline NBC.' She has written numerous documentaries, including 'Auschwitz,' produced by Steven Spielberg and narrated by Meryl Streep, which competed at the 2016 Tribeca Film Festival. Across numerous films, PSAs, and speeches, she's written for Presidents Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush, Tom Hanks, Harrison Ford, and Morgan Freeman. She graduated from Barnard College and lives in Greenwich Village.
Do you have a compelling personal story you'd like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we're looking for here and send us a pitch at pitch@huffpost.com.
My Experiences On 'Sex And The City' Left Me Reeling. A Recent Run-In With One Of Its Stars Left Me In Shock.
I Was One Of The Most Famous Pop Stars In The World. No One Knew The Secret Pain I Hid.
A Guy I Once Dated Is Now Famous, And It's As Weird As You'd Imagine

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Learn with AIFact CheckingText to SpeechAI Summary

Related Articles

Yahoo

an hour ago

• Yahoo

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Hold Hands While Leaving NYC Restaurant After Sweet Date Night

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have thrilled fans thanks to another sweet date night sighting. The couple, both 35, stepped out in New York City on Friday, June 20 and were snapped holding hands while leaving a restaurant following their outing. In footage shared via a fan account, Swift and Kelce were seen exiting what appeared to be a back exit of the venue, while an employee held the door open for them. Kelce shook the employee's hand before departing. Dressing for the summer heat, the 'Bad Blood' singer wore a pale blue tank top matched with a floaty, dusty pink skirt for the occasion, while the Kansas City Chiefs tight end opted for all-white attire, rocking a matching T-shirt and shorts. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Spotted During Their 2nd New York City Date in a Row Similar to many of their previous date nights, Swift and Kelce didn't seem to be afraid of subtle public displays of affection and sweetly held hands while on the move. The spotting is the latest in a spate of outings for the pair, who have been enjoying quality time together following an incredibly busy period in their respective careers. Last week, the athlete and pop star attended the Stanley Cup Finals in Sunrise, Florida on June 12. During the game, fans captured Swift and Kelce sharing a kiss and packing on the PDA as they watched the Edmonton Oilers face off against the Florida Panthers. Swift and Kelce also attended a wedding in Tennessee and were spotted enjoying each other's company on several other date nights at restaurants earlier this month. While they have emerged this month for their recent public date nights, Kelce and Swift had been deliberately lying low after they both experienced a jam-packed year. Swift wrapped up her Eras Tour in December 2024 while Kelce played the Super Bowl in February, losing to the Philadelphia Eagles. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Pack on the PDA at Stanley Cup Game With a Touching Kiss An insider exclusively told Us Weekly earlier this month that the duo were staying out of the spotlight intentionally. 'They are making fewer public appearances together because [their relationship] brings too much unwanted attention,' the source told Us on June 4, 'but there isn't trouble in paradise.' In February, the athlete's dad, Ed Kelce, shared his two cents on how he thought his son's relationship with Swift would progress once both their schedules were clear. 'I think, you know, once we get past the Super Bowl, I think it's going to be a very good period of time for the two of them,' he told Australia's Today show. 'Without the NFL season, without the Eras tour. Just them alone really connecting more. I think that can only be a good thing.'

Buzz Feed

an hour ago

• Buzz Feed

stylishtoaster842

You Exist! Welcome to BuzzFeed! Have 100 points. That is a lot of points. Earned Jun 17, 2025 First Post You made your first post! Is it glorious? Is it terrible? Who cares, you made one! Great job. Earned 3 hours ago Homepage Hero Your post got promoted to the homepage of BuzzFeed Dot Com, the website! Our team of writers loved it so much that with a little spit and polish, they put it right up on the fridge. Right where everyone can see it! Not yet earned Challenge Winner Your creativity and hard work shone through and you won a freakin' Community Challenge! Congratulations, pard'ner. Not yet earned List Legend When everyone else zigged, you zagged. When everyone took the low road, you took the high road. When everyone posted nothing but quizzes, you're out here posting lists. Hero. Here's your trophy. Not yet earned Lord of Lists We knew you were a whiz at making lists before, but now you've made THREE lists?! You're truly everything we aspire to be, and one day we hope to be half the genius you are. Not yet earned 100k Views A hundo thow views. Nice. Not yet earned 250k Views A quarter of a million views! You really have the posts with the mosts. Views, that is. Not yet earned 500k Views Five hundred thousand views on your posts. That's incredible! Statistically, you're excelling yourself. We asked a data scientist and he said it's true! Not yet earned 1m Views A cool milzo. These are rare. Like a beautiful statue which isn't covered in bird poo. Not yet earned Could You BE Making Any More Posts? We can't seem to 'PIVOT' away from your incredible posts, and we never want you to 'go on a break' from creating these posts we love so much. Anyway, congrats on getting 5 Friends posts promoted! Not yet earned You Don't Need To Calm Down We promise that we'll never find another like you. Ya know, someone else who has gotten 5 Taylor Swift posts promoted to the homepage. Not yet earned Best of 2022 Thanks to your ingenuity and knowledge of all things internet, you showed everyone up and are in the top 1% of BuzzFeed Community creators in 2022! From quizzes to lists, you can do it all — and now you have a trophy to show off and prove you're one of the best of the year. Not yet earned Fairest Of Them All Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who has had 5 Disney posts promoted to the BuzzFeed homepage? It's you, obviously! We don't have any attractive heroes coming to save you, but here's a trophy, which is just as good — trust us. Not yet earned Golden Genius You ain't no snitch, but you do know everything about the Harry Potter universe. Since you got 5 posts promoted to the homepage, here's a lil' Quidditch gift for ya. Not yet earned Slime Time You soaked up episodes of SpongeBob, got Odd with the Fairies, and mentally spent a lot of time at Good Burger. You were and are a Nick kid through and through, but we don't need to tell you that since you've already Figured It Out, haven't you? (We could go on forever, don't test us.) Not yet earned K-Pop Konnoisseur You know every dance, you know every word, and let's be real, no one can make you budge about your bias. Congrats on getting your K-Pop post promoted to the front page of BuzzFeed — here's a trophy! Not yet earned Totally Stylin' Oh baby, you're ~golden~, and we're gonna give you a (Watermelon Sugar) high by handing you your very own Harry Styles trophy, just for writing a post about him. Not yet earned Animal Lover From reptiles to fluffy felines and tiny rats to giant whales, your love of animals knows no bounds. Your animal-themed post was promoted. Thanks for making the world a more cuddly place. Meow. Not yet earned XOXO Roses are red, / Poems are quoted. / You wrote about love, / and your post was promoted! Not yet earned Sucker For Love You love all things about love, and we can't blame you. We can't give you a little kiss, so here's a trophy for getting 5 posts promoted instead. Not yet earned Snacks on Snacks on Snacks All you do is think about food, obviously, or else you wouldn't have made a post about it. We don't blame you, and actually applaud you. We'd give you a feast, but we don't feel like it. So here's a trophy. Not yet earned Food Fanatic You're really ~hungry~ for more trophies, aren't you? No? Then why do you make so many food posts?! We're actually not mad, just impressed. Here's another one, and we hope it's as satisfying as your next droolworthy meal. Not yet earned Up, Up, And Away For you, the thought of packing a bag and exploring a new place is unlike any other. Whether you're dreaming of stomping through the rainforest or hitting up the city that's been on your bucket list for years, travel is something you can't deny loving, so we'll do the best we can and give you a trophy since you've expressed your love for it in a post. Not yet earned Super Stan You know the thrilling feeling of staying up 'til a new song release at midnight and everyone trusts you to make the perfect playlist for every occasion and mood. Let's face it, you're just a master of all things music, so here's a trophy since you wrote a post about it! Not yet earned Cinema Savvy You've been to countless midnight showings and have spent half of your life savings on theater popcorn — but hey, baby, that's a small price to pay to be a true film fanatic. You made a movie-themed post, we loved it, here's a trophy! Not yet earned Film Fiend When it comes to movies, you're addicted. From comedy to horror and musicals to documentaries, you've seem 'em all. Since you made three posts about movies, we're giving you a trophy to celebrate your expertise. Not yet earned Know-It-All You love testing everyone on their knowledge of pop culture, school you are a true trivia master, and no one can deny that! Sometimes it's okay to show off, so here's a lil' something for ya. Not yet earned Master of Knowledge You made three trivia quizzes, and we loved them so much that we had to promote them to the front page of BuzzFeed! There's no doubt that during the next trivia night, we call dibs on being your partner. Not yet earned In The Stars Let's be real: Whenever you meet someone, you check your zodiac compatibility. Smart, honestly. Whether you're a total Gemini, fiery Aries, emotional Pisces, or anything in-between, you know the importance of star signs. And that's why you're getting a trophy because we liked your post about it. Not yet earned Nerdy for Nostalgia Nostalgia just hits different, okay? From 'I Love Lucy' to 'Fresh Prince' to 'Lizzie McGuire,' you're all about living in the past — and that's totally rad in our book. Not yet earned Heart On Your comment got 10 hearts. Here's a trophy to commemorate the foundation of your little fan club! Not yet earned Hearty Animal Can you feel the love tonight? You got 50 hearts on one comment. Have another hit of serotonin to celebrate!!! Not yet earned Heartthrob ONE HUNDRED HEARTS!! I almost feel bad for you, because you're going to be chasing this feeling forever. Check out this awesome trophy you just earned! Not yet earned There's No Place Like Home You clicked your heels and visited home — the home PAGE, that is — every day for five straight days. We've loved seeing your shining face, so please enjoy this trophy that expresses our excitement. Not yet earned Habitual Homepager Don't think we haven't noticed you visiting the homepage for the last 10 days in a row! Whether you were finding out which Disney character you are, sifting through TV show recommendations, or catching up on the news, we love you loving us. Not yet earned You Live Here Now You've visited the homepage 15 full days in a row! At this point, we've made up the BuzzFeed guest room for you and even added some touches to make it more personal. After all, with the amount of times you've visited, you pretty much live here now. Not yet earned Pin There, Done That You pinned a quiz result to your profile, and now everyone knows that you are in fact like your favorite TV character or that you've discovered a new personality trait about yourself. Maybe we guessed your age correctly, or we were so off in guessing that you weren't even mad — you were impressed. Either way, now the world knows your result, so here's a trophy!

Yahoo

2 hours ago

• Yahoo

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Hold Hands During Summer Date Night in N.Y.C.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce were spotted holding hands as they left a New York City restaurant on June 20 For the night out, the singer wore a light blue tank top with a white skirt, while the NFL star sported a white T-shirt and white shorts The outing took place after a source recently told PEOPLE that Swift is "really looking forward" to supporting Kelce during the upcoming NFL seasonTaylor Swift and Travis Kelce spent a summer date night in New York City. The pop star and the Kansas City Chiefs tight end, both 35, were spotted leaving a Manhattan restaurant on Friday, June 20. In fan footage shared online, Kelce could be seen shaking a restaurant employee's hand before exiting the building, as Swift followed closely behind. The couple then paused for a brief moment to grab each other's hands before getting into a car waiting for them. For the night out, Swift wore a light blue tank top with a white skirt, while Kelce sported a white T-shirt and white shorts. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Swift and Kelce's New York City date night took place after the couple was spotted attending Game 4 of the NHL's Stanley Cup Final on June 12. During the event at the Bank Arena in Sunrise, Fla., the "Cruel Summer" musician and her NFL beau watched the matchup between the Florida Panthers and the Edmonton Oilers. The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! Swift wore a cream jacket and track shorts for the night out, and the Grammy Award-winner completed her look with her signature red lip. Kelce, meanwhile, opted for a bright red sweatshirt and matching shorts, which he paired with a red and white hat. After the summer, a source told PEOPLE that Swift is "really looking forward" to supporting boyfriend Kelce during the upcoming NFL season. "Not just because she loves supporting Travis, but because for the first full season since they started dating, she's not juggling a packed tour schedule,' the insider said. is now available in the Apple App Store! Download it now for the most binge-worthy celeb content, exclusive video clips, astrology updates and more! Swift wrapped the final show of her Eras Tour in Vancouver, British Columbia, in December 2024. The historic run, which began in March 2023, spanned five continents and grossed over $2 billion in ticket sales, making it the highest-grossing tour in history. 'This fall will be completely different,' the source continued, adding, "The past two seasons were a whirlwind between performing across multiple countries, long flights and trying to squeeze in alone time together wherever possible." "It wasn't easy, but they made it work,' the insider further explained. Read the original article on People