Psychologists Are Begging Women To Remove These 15 Phrases from Their Vocabulary
Psychologists Are Begging Women To Remove These 15 Phrases from Their Vocabulary originally appeared on Parade.
Psychologists stress that words are powerful tools that are often overlooked. We have more control over what leaves our mouths than whether a recruiter opens our resume in a candidate pool of thousands, or whether our mercurial boss is in the mood to give us a raise. However, psychologists warn that women often undermine their own power with they say to themselves."Words matter, especially the ones we speak about ourselves," notes ., a psychologist with Thriveworks. "When women use dismissive, people-pleasing or shrinking phrases, it subtly reinforces the power dynamics and limits how confidently we show up."Dr. Saidi and two other psychologists encourage women to take up space. To do so, women will want to delete these 15 phrases from their vocabulary ASAP and regularly repeat some alternative lines instead.Related:
All three psychologists we spoke with brought up a variation of this phrase."Apologizing, especially for something simple like having a need or opinion, can reinforce feelings of unworthiness or fear of taking up space," Dr. Saidi explains. "Instead, try 'Excuse me' or 'Thank you for your patience.'"Related: Could You Be a Victim of 'Self-Gaslighting'? 5 Signs of the Subtle Form of Self-Sabotage and How To Stop, According to Experts
We say this with care: Just don't with this phrase."Whether it's 'I'm just a stay-at-home mom' or 'I'm just asking,' the word 'just' shrinks whatever follows it," Dr. Saidi shares. "It downplays your role, your voice and your contribution, even when it is valuable."
Psychologists aren't fans of this phrase, which women often recite out of habit."This is survival language to avoid vulnerability or confrontation," ., a neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. "She's not fine, but saying she isn't might open a door she's been punished for walking through. She lies to protect herself and teaches others to ignore her pain."Related:
Are you, though? One psychologist suggests taking a beat because your response could very well be 100% reasonable."Don't gaslight yourself before expressing valid emotion," advises., a licensed clinical psychologist and clinical director of Greenwich Psychology Group.Related:
Remember: Emotions are human."Labeling yourself as 'too sensitive' can teach you to distrust your emotional signals rather than accept them with compassion," Dr. Saidi points out. "For example, instead of saying 'I'm too sensitive,' you can say, 'That felt upsetting, I want to understand why.'"
This one essentially combines "I'm fine" with "I'm being too sensitive" for the wrong kind of one-two punch. Dr. Hafeez says it's a learned behavior to avoid being labeled as "dramatic," but one that minimizes hurt to keep everyone else comfy. "What hurts matters," she stresses. "Denying it doesn't make it go away."Related:
We're not going to lie: It's time to say bye-bye-bye to this phrase, which undermines everything you say next."Labeling your idea or feeling as crazy creates shame and discourages any deeper conversation," Dr. Saidi says.She adds that phrases like "This might sound bold" or "This might sound unexpected" are more powerful.Related:
The problem with this phrase is that even if you're right or your idea is sound, people with differing viewpoints automatically have an out to bulldoze your POV."It preemptively discredits your own opinion, and women often use this to avoid sounding too confident," Dr. Saidi cautions.
Wait, didn't you know that everyone is an expert in everything these days? But jokes aside: "Stop saying this," Dr. Zackson begs women. "It's an unnecessary self-inflicted wound. Your voice is valid."
Dr. Hafeez shares that women who use this phrase have usually been chronically questioned, interrupted and dismissed. "[These women] hand over [their] authority in exchange for approval," she explains. "This is not a request for clarity but rather a plea for permission to be taken seriously."Related: 15 Phrases to Politely End a Conversation, According to Psychologists
Dr. Zackson really wants you to know that "this undermines your contribution before you've even said something."Nix the disclaimer—hopefully, the person on the receiving end of your knowledge drops will just politely let you know if they already knew (and thank you if you enlightened them).
A classic among women for all the wrong reasons."This is the echo of every moment she was told she was too much, so she packs down her needs into silence," Dr. Hafeez reports of women who default to this phrase.
You and other women don't always have to DIY."She says this because asking for help has made her feel weak or exposed," Dr. Hafeez says. "She's been rewarded for independence and punished for need."Related:
If you really don't care about which way a work project goes or where you eat for dinner, it's fine to punt to someone with more of a stake in the game. However, remember you're a key stakeholder in your life and deserve agency—you have to speak up for it, though."If you say this when you do actually have a preference, it's essentially people-pleasing in disguise," Dr. Saidi says. "Constantly deferring to others trains your brain to devalue your own preferences and teaches others to do so as well."
It depends on the situation, but Dr. Hafeez says this one has toxic uses in heterosexual romantic partnerships. Primarily, she doesn't believe women should use it to make excuses for carrying the emotional labor, forgiving a man for making the same mistake and offering second (third, fourth and fifth) chances."Good intentions don't cancel out patterns of neglect," she emphasizes. "Doing better matters more than meaning well."Related:
Step into your power instead of undermining it."It shows that you understand your power, advocating for yourself and affirming your self-worth," Dr. Zackson says.Related: 16 Things People With High Emotional Intelligence Often Say, According to Psychologists
This phrase is one you'll likely need to repeat to yourself if you are a people pleaser, which many women have been conditioned to be. "This one is great because it affirms agency, encourages setting boundaries—which some women may struggle with—and promotes assertiveness," Dr. Saidi raves. "It reminds women that they do not have to choose between being kind and respecting themselves."Related:
Can we get a mic drop?"It's bold, clean and unapologetic," Dr. Hafeez reports. "It shuts down the need to over-explain, walk back a truth or soften a boundary. It's best used when someone tries to challenge, twist or diminish what you've already made clear."Up Next:Dr. Crystal Saidi, Psy.D., a psychologist with Thriveworks
Dr. Judith Zackson, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and clinical director of Greenwich Psychology Group
Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., a neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind
Psychologists Are Begging Women To Remove These 15 Phrases from Their Vocabulary first appeared on Parade on Jun 11, 2025
This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 11, 2025, where it first appeared.
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