It can be a scary time to be trans, but there's joy in living with authenticity
"Trans euphoria is a reality, a very, very strong reality. And as much negative news is out there, I think there needs to be as much transgender euphoria and joy celebrated, honored, respected, spread out into the world.'— Aspen Paskal
The latest news about trans people in America is rarely positive. Executive orders coming out of the White House curtail the public lives of trans people more and more each day. Discrimination and harassment are rampant as are the stories of violence and suicide. We can predict that more trans people, especially trans women of color ― already more at risk than other groups ― will be murdered.
And that is often compounded by gender dysphoria, the distress some people feel when their bodies or presentations — or society's perceptions of them — don't align with their gender.
While it's a scary time in history to be trans, there are countless transgender and gender nonconforming people leading everyday lives full of joyful resistance. And just plain joy — the kind all humans feel in large ways and small, the kind that comes from taking a risk, achieving a goal, helping others or enjoying nature. Joy can, and should, be accessible to everyone.
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Ximón Kittok (they/them) says it's 'vital' to focus on trans joy, now more than ever.
'It offers that important counter narrative to what a lot of the media out there is focusing on,' Kittok said, 'which is the misinformation around trans identity and trans experience, or tragedy narratives around how tough it is to be trans.'
As executive director of the Grand Rapids Trans Foundation, Kittok knows this well.
'I think focusing on gender euphoria is a beautiful thing,' they continued. 'Transness is about coming into yourself in a really authentic and meaningful way.'
For Kittok, who is genderqueer and nonbinary, that means asking themselves the kind of questions many of us ask, even if we're not trans or gender nonconforming: Who am I? How do I want to show up in the world? How do I want to show up to myself in a way that feels very liberating?
'Despite all of the negative legislation and media coverage, people are continuing to come out as trans because it is that life-saving and life-affirming,' Kittok added.
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New research from Swinburne University and Murdoch Children's Research Institute in Australia backs this up. Reframing how trans people see themselves can improve mental health outcomes.
And it's not just the fault of the government and the media. Even the medical establishment sometimes focuses too much on transness as marked by gender dysphoria and feeling out of place in one's body, Kittok says. 'Shifting the narrative to something that is more focused on gender euphoria can sort of depathologize the experience,' Kittok said, 'where it's less about what's wrong and more about finding what feels right.'
Given that gender dysphoria is a feeling of distress, gender euphoria, conversely, is the feeling of comfort or happiness some trans people feel when their gender is affirmed.
People sometimes experience gender euphoria when their body aligns with their gender or when others use the correct name and pronouns for them.
One trans advocate in the Swinburne University study compared gender euphoria to 'being able to breathe without having to think about it, when — maybe for years — you had to think about every single breath.' For some, it's about being addressed properly for the first time. For others, it's hormones or surgery that help people feel more comfortable and in alignment with their identity. It might be the first time a trans person wears clothing and presents oneself to the world in a way that feels authentic.
At the Grand Rapids Trans Foundation and out in the community, Kittok often witnesses trans and gender diverse individuals experiencing validation in their authentic selves for the first time.
Sometimes, that happens in a courtroom.
'We have helped hundreds and hundreds of trans people through their legal name change process,' Kittok said. 'And as part of that, for our organization it's important that we provide emotional and moral support.' They explained the law recently changed, and that navigating any legal process can be daunting. Talking to a judge can also feel daunting, so folks using the Foundation's services are asked if they would like someone to accompany them and be a 'friendly face.'
'The moment when the judge says, OK, your name is now officially, you know, 'your name,' and they sign the document, the level of just joy and ecstasy that people experience in that moment where their name is officially changed is a really beautiful and powerful moment,' Kittok said. 'I think name changes tend to be sort of a rite of passage for the trans community in a lot of ways.'
Baddie Brooks (she/her), a vocal artist, musician and first-year music teacher who lives in Ypsilanti, talked about her own experiences with gender euphoria. Brooks was recently named Miss Trans Michigan 2025 by Trans USA National Pageantry, a 501c3 organization whose pageants emphasize advocacy for the trans community.
It's like a weight has been lifted, Brooks says.
'It almost feels like you had an elephant on your chest and then it just lifts suddenly.' That can happen naturally when people use Brooks' correct pronouns or she is treated with respect in the workplace.
When people refuse to do 'the bare minimum,' Brooks says, it's sad.
'I definitely get nervous every time I start a new job, because I never know if the environment is going to be accepting or not. I'm thankful to be in the current position I'm in as a music educator as well as a performer, because, you know, whenever you have an employer who's not accepting, it's very disheartening.'
As a performer and pageant winner, Brooks has chosen to lead a very public life. And a large part of her confidence stems from the joy she finds in being and expressing her authentic self. Brooks enjoys the glamor of pageantry, noting that she's a big fan of drag pageants. Miss Trans Michigan piqued that interest, she says, 'Because it was rooted in advocacy for the trans community. And everyone who's competing is trans.'
Brooks first experienced gender euphoria as a student at Eastern Michigan University where she studied journalism, public relations and music.
'I think one of the first moments that I experienced joy is the first time that I got my makeup done,' Brooks said. 'Their name was Morgan, a friend that I went to school at Eastern with. It was my first time wearing makeup and I kind of did it in secret, because I just wasn't allowed to do that in the home that I grew up in.' That was the first time, Brooks said, she was able to express her femininity.
Brooks performed at Ferndale Pride May 31, and continues touring festivals all over the state and beyond. Separately, Brooks' 16-track album, released in 2023, is the basis of her Reclamation Tour, which, not coincidentally, has a lot to do with trans joy.
'On my tour, people will expect the full creative storytelling of reclamation,' Brooks said. 'So the story will center around how queer and trans people are able to reclaim their identity and how there is power in reclaiming who you are despite society's expectations, despite bias, discrimination.'
Like Brooks, Aspen Paskal (he/him) is an educator. Over the course of his career, he has worked with youth in communities across the country. Recently, Paskal was laid off because the grant that supported his work was cut 'due to the political situation.'
Paskal is taking it in stride, perhaps because at 61 he has faced greater personal challenges, and remains remarkably positive. Gender euphoria is something he's very attuned to.
'For me, it's a meditation practice,' said Paskal, who was born in Detroit and returned two and half years ago after a long hiatus. 'So when I first get up in the morning, I'm going to actually support and honor me being trans in the world, and what a gift it was for me to take 40-plus years to realize that I was a trans masc person.'
Sharing that inner joy and direct experience is part of Paskal's practice, too. He explained by positing a few questions:
'Sometimes being trans, there's ways that you have to figure out, how can I access that trans joy more often? How can I bring it into my daily life? How can I bring it into my relationships with people that I love? How do I bring that trans joy to people that I might be having some disagreements with because they're misgendering me or they're not using the pronouns or respecting the pronouns that I use?'
Paskal has gone through many life changes over the last few years in the aftermath of the death of his father at the age of 102. At that time, Paskal decided to return to Detroit to live in the home he grew up in. A profound moment occurred one day, when Paskal, who is a master gardener, was tending a plot at a community garden in Berkeley, California, his home of more than 35 years.
'I was just filled to the brim with sadness,' Paskal says, 'grieving the loss of my father, grieving the loss of not being in Detroit, grieving the loss of a relationship that had recently ended. So there had been a number of things that I brought directly into the soil, the compost of the plot. And I just cried.'
Then Paskal asked the universe for a sign, to show how he could go through the grief and sadness and still remain rooted to the planet. At that moment, out of that place of sorrow, Paskal envisioned a well-rooted tree with many interconnected roots. And he recognized the roots as belonging to a colony of trees: Aspen trees.
'I knew immediately that that was my name: Aspen,' Paskal said. 'And out of that interconnected place, it was like I just walked through a brand new door. There was sunlight just streaming down everywhere. And I realized that the life that I had been carrying around in my body for so long finally was starting to emerge. And from that, I realized that it was time for me to leave the Bay Area, believe it or not, and come back to my roots, Detroit. And it was the best decision I've made in my entire life.'
Ellen Knoppow is a writer who believes in second acts. Her work has appeared in Pride Source/ Between The Lines, The Philadelphia Gay News, Our Lives Magazine and Oakland County Times. In 2022, Ellen received the award for Excellence in Transgender Coverage from NLGJA: The Association for LGBTQ+ Journalists and a 2024 Michigan Press Association award for her coverage of government and education.
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This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: For Pride, trans Michiganders share joy in their identities | Opinion
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