Bride Has Bridesmaid Photos Retaken, Leaving Out 'Super Tall' Friend Who Didn't Strictly Follow the Dress Code
A new bride shared on Reddit that she retook her bridesmaid photos at her wedding without one of the women because she "was throwing them all off"
She said the one bridesmaid "really stood out" in the photos because she is "super tall and has a muscular build" and also didn't strictly follow the dress code
The bridesmaid later got upset when the bride posted 30 wedding photos on Facebook, none of which included her
A new bride is wondering if she was in the wrong for retaking her bridesmaid photos without one of the women because she "was throwing them all off."
She detailed the dilemma in a post on Reddit's "Am I the A------" forum, explaining that she got married two weeks ago and had six bridesmaids. She said one of the bridesmaids — whom she referred to as "N" — is "super tall and has a muscular build."
"She was also wearing a patterned dress when I specifically asked all my bridesmaids to wear solid colors (they got to pick their own dresses and just had to match the color I picked ahead of time)," she noted, adding, "So between the dress and her build, N really stood out in the photos and was throwing them all off."
According to the bride, she wasn't the only one who shared that opinion.
"After the first round of pictures, we all gathered around the photographer to see what we had so far, and I swear everyone had the same thought simultaneously. Of course, nobody said anything because she's our friend and we wouldn't want to be rude," the bride wrote.
But to her surprise, N also acknowledged that she stood out in the photos.
"[She] turned to me and said, 'I understand if you want to take some without me.' She didn't seem sad or anything and she was even laughing a little," the bride recalled. "So I told her I thought that was a good idea and me and my other bridesmaids retook the photos without her."
The bride thought nothing more of it until after the wedding, when she received the final photos from the photographer and decided to post some of her "favorites" on Facebook. "I didn't include any with N since I was only posting like 30 of the absolute best ones," she noted.
But soon after posting the photos, the bride received a message from her friend N, expressing "how hurt she was that I didn't post any with her in them and that I took photos without her in the first place."
The bride said she apologized to N and also reminded her that she was the one to suggest taking some photos without her. But N didn't accept her apology, instead accusing her of being "a narcissist and selfish."
Ever since the heated exchange, the two friends have not spoken.
"I'm so confused since she literally told me I could retake them without her. I also don't think it's such a crime for me to want my wedding photos to be perfect. My husband agrees with me," the bride concluded her post, asking fellow Redditors if she was wrong to exclude her friend.
In the comments section, readers did not mince words in telling the OP (original poster) that she behaved terribly to N.
"Damn, you really are a rather s----- friend. You really told her that her 'build' doesn't match your aesthetic?" one person wrote. "Good on her for calling you on your shallowness."
Another said: "She saw how she stood out, and probably suggested taking some pics without her to make an excuse and lighten the mood. Such comments should always be met with a 'of course we're not, you're part of my wedding' comment. Not actually taking new pictures without her, and then showing her these are the ones you prefer."
Someone else reminded the OP: "Your bridesmaids are your friends, not props. You don't get to exclude them from pictures because they're 'distracting.' "
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"So having instagrammable pictures and a good aesthetic matters more to you than preserving the memory of the day, which included this friend who spent time and money to be there and support you," the same person added. "Yeah, I wouldn't talk to you again."
One reader expressed their sympathy for N having been slighted in such a "hurtful" way.
"I've never wanted to give a stranger a hug so badly before. I can't even imagine how N felt when she left your wedding; only to have to scroll through 30 of your 'absolute favourite' photos two weeks later and have her heart broken all over again."
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