Water Safety Lessons From A Grieving Parent

When my son Zachary drowned in our backyard pool, I never dreamed that 15 years later, in the midst of a global pandemic and a severe lifeguard shortage, that his younger brother Henry would step up to pursue a job as a lifeguard. Henry now stands among the ranks of water-safety first responders, and his new position serves as a meaningful living remembrance on what would have been Zachary's 21st birthday.
I'm still overwhelmed with emotion when I think back to that horrible day in 2007, the day that changed our lives forever. Each traumatic detail is etched into my memory ― the chlorine scent, the reflection of the late afternoon sun on the pool, the sweaty humidity, the piercing screams. The chaos of my son's drowning death comes rushing back in a wave of indescribably intense pain.
It was a searing July afternoon, just two months after our fourth child, Sydney, was born. We had just moved into our dream home, and the family swam and played in our brand-new backyard pool. Zachary, then 6, showed off his swimming skills (thanks to an excellent program at his summer camp). Little did we know an unexpected tragedy beyond our wildest imagination was about to unfold.
We believed we'd done everything to follow measures to keep our family safe. The pool was in full compliance with town safety codes that mandated fencing and door alarms for entrances to the pool area. Our children had taken swimming lessons; they were strong and comfortable in the water and always closely supervised.
We couldn't know that the pool's drain cover was defective and had become loose, removing the barrier between swimmers and the powerful vacuum pump that can exert hundreds of pounds of sucking water pressure. In an instant, the strong suction from the drain had trapped Zachary's arm, holding him underwater. We were unable to free him until we were able to shut down the power to the pool.
In the months that followed his death, we reeled from our loss. We tried to make sense of it and wondered how we could recover as a family and give meaning to a young life cut short so unfairly. The more we learned about water safety statistics ― that drowning is the leading cause of unintentional death for children between the ages of 1 and 4 and is the second-leading cause of death for children younger than 14 ― the more we knew we wanted to prevent other families from ever having to experience the loss of a child from drowning.
With Zachary as our inspiration, we formed The ZAC Foundation a few years later. Over the last decade, the foundation has provided free swim camps for more than 20,000 kids around the country (especially in urban areas), has awarded grants for water safety education and research, and fostered partnerships to develop community-based drowning prevention plans in four large cities. Importantly, The ZAC Foundation has contributed toward the development of a national Water Safety Action Plan, designed to educate everyone (from homeowners to aquatic center personnel) about best practices to promote water safety and prevent drowning. Our entire family has been engaged from Day 1 on this journey to build the foundation. So it was no surprise that Henry said, at my suggestion, that he was 'all in' to become a lifeguard.
Since the onset of the coronavirus pandemic, the American Lifeguard Association reported a whopping 40% to 50% staffing shortage at swimming areas across the country. These are well-paying jobs requiring skill and grit. I was confident that Henry ― a very strong, skilled swimmer and someone hyper-aware of the importance of water safety ― would make a highly competent lifeguard.
On the first day of his training, Henry had to dive to the bottom of the deep end, retrieve a brick and swim with it to the shallow end. Even though he was strong and played sports, he found it hard to do, and at least two of his fellow students couldn't complete the task. When Henry came home and told us about the exercise, we couldn't help but wonder if we had made the right decision. Would he be able to handle the physical rigor and emotional stress of this job? And could we?
Getting safety-certified wasn't easy. Henry nearly missed his sister's eighth-grade graduation due to lifeguard training. But he persevered, earned his certification and was hired at a pool in our community. From the get-go, he was hyper-vigilant.
On his first day at the pool, he surprised his peers and supervisor by proactively asking them to locate the safety equipment. For Henry, water safety was not an abstraction. It was urgently real. He fully understood the importance of safety training and safe pool management.
As statistics bear out, drowning incidents happen all the time ― even when lots of safety precautions have been taken. It is terribly easy (even typical) for a parent or caregiver to become distracted while watching toddlers play in the kiddie pool and, even worse, while also trying to keep an eye on their older kids in the main pool. It happens!
For lifeguards, unanticipated dangers lurk everywhere. Many pools are overcrowded, and it can be difficult to monitor children who become hidden. In larger pools, sightlines are often obscured by columns and curves. Glare on the water can mask danger. And unanticipated distractions for the lifeguard can be especially risky.
Despite warnings from well-intentioned friends in the drowning prevention movement, the pitfalls and risks (emotional and otherwise) never overwhelmed Henry. I feel deeply touched by his seriousness and courage, given the tragedy we had lived through with Zachary.
By the end of the summer, the closest Henry came to rescuing someone was when he offered to help an older gentleman navigate the pool stairs on his way out. The man gruffly rebuffed the offer, but Henry stood nearby to make sure that the man was able to safely hold his footing.
No family should ever have to endure the loss of a child. When a parent turns to me, with fear and sympathy in their eyes, they will often ask how they can learn from Zachary's loss and prevent this from happening to them. We share easy-to-remember lifesaving tools, like the ABCDs of drowning prevention.
There should always be an A dult present with eye-to-eye contact on the child swimming. B arriers, like fences and gates, are a must for restricting children's access to the water. Families should enroll in C lasses ― swim lessons for kids and CPR training for adults. D rains should be regularly inspected for broken and/or loose covers. And proper lifesaving D evices, i.e. U.S. Coast Guard-approved life jackets, should be worn at all times in open water.
After our family's devastating loss, I never would have imagined that my other children would take on what has become my life's work. Maybe Henry didn't realize what the impact would be for me when he agreed to try lifeguarding, but his decision made me deeply proud. His willingness to be vulnerable and address our family's trauma head-on is a source of strength and hope.
During the year of Zachary's 21st birthday, I look back and feel grateful for life's lessons learned and the opportunity to hopefully prevent a tragic loss for others.
Karen Cohn co-founded The ZAC Foundation in 2008 with her husband, Brian Cohn, after their 6-year-old son, Zachary Archer Cohn, drowned when his arm became entrapped in a pool drain. Zachary's memory is the inspiration for the foundation's mission and activities. The ZAC Foundation has funded free water safety and swim camps for more than 20,000 children in at-risk communities nationwide and is spearheading the development of drowning prevention plans in four U.S. communities in the hopes of reducing the national drowning rate. Through her role at The ZAC Foundation, Karen has testified before congressional subcommittees as well as before state and federal agencies, including the Consumer Product Safety Commission and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. She has written about water safety issues for major media outlets and is also a Northeast Trustee of the Boys & Girls Clubs of America.

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17 hours ago

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Water Safety Lessons From A Grieving Parent

When my son Zachary drowned in our backyard pool, I never dreamed that 15 years later, in the midst of a global pandemic and a severe lifeguard shortage, that his younger brother Henry would step up to pursue a job as a lifeguard. Henry now stands among the ranks of water-safety first responders, and his new position serves as a meaningful living remembrance on what would have been Zachary's 21st birthday. I'm still overwhelmed with emotion when I think back to that horrible day in 2007, the day that changed our lives forever. Each traumatic detail is etched into my memory ― the chlorine scent, the reflection of the late afternoon sun on the pool, the sweaty humidity, the piercing screams. The chaos of my son's drowning death comes rushing back in a wave of indescribably intense pain. It was a searing July afternoon, just two months after our fourth child, Sydney, was born. We had just moved into our dream home, and the family swam and played in our brand-new backyard pool. Zachary, then 6, showed off his swimming skills (thanks to an excellent program at his summer camp). Little did we know an unexpected tragedy beyond our wildest imagination was about to unfold. We believed we'd done everything to follow measures to keep our family safe. The pool was in full compliance with town safety codes that mandated fencing and door alarms for entrances to the pool area. Our children had taken swimming lessons; they were strong and comfortable in the water and always closely supervised. We couldn't know that the pool's drain cover was defective and had become loose, removing the barrier between swimmers and the powerful vacuum pump that can exert hundreds of pounds of sucking water pressure. In an instant, the strong suction from the drain had trapped Zachary's arm, holding him underwater. We were unable to free him until we were able to shut down the power to the pool. In the months that followed his death, we reeled from our loss. We tried to make sense of it and wondered how we could recover as a family and give meaning to a young life cut short so unfairly. The more we learned about water safety statistics ― that drowning is the leading cause of unintentional death for children between the ages of 1 and 4 and is the second-leading cause of death for children younger than 14 ― the more we knew we wanted to prevent other families from ever having to experience the loss of a child from drowning. With Zachary as our inspiration, we formed The ZAC Foundation a few years later. Over the last decade, the foundation has provided free swim camps for more than 20,000 kids around the country (especially in urban areas), has awarded grants for water safety education and research, and fostered partnerships to develop community-based drowning prevention plans in four large cities. Importantly, The ZAC Foundation has contributed toward the development of a national Water Safety Action Plan, designed to educate everyone (from homeowners to aquatic center personnel) about best practices to promote water safety and prevent drowning. Our entire family has been engaged from Day 1 on this journey to build the foundation. So it was no surprise that Henry said, at my suggestion, that he was 'all in' to become a lifeguard. Since the onset of the coronavirus pandemic, the American Lifeguard Association reported a whopping 40% to 50% staffing shortage at swimming areas across the country. These are well-paying jobs requiring skill and grit. I was confident that Henry ― a very strong, skilled swimmer and someone hyper-aware of the importance of water safety ― would make a highly competent lifeguard. On the first day of his training, Henry had to dive to the bottom of the deep end, retrieve a brick and swim with it to the shallow end. Even though he was strong and played sports, he found it hard to do, and at least two of his fellow students couldn't complete the task. When Henry came home and told us about the exercise, we couldn't help but wonder if we had made the right decision. Would he be able to handle the physical rigor and emotional stress of this job? And could we? Getting safety-certified wasn't easy. Henry nearly missed his sister's eighth-grade graduation due to lifeguard training. But he persevered, earned his certification and was hired at a pool in our community. From the get-go, he was hyper-vigilant. On his first day at the pool, he surprised his peers and supervisor by proactively asking them to locate the safety equipment. For Henry, water safety was not an abstraction. It was urgently real. He fully understood the importance of safety training and safe pool management. As statistics bear out, drowning incidents happen all the time ― even when lots of safety precautions have been taken. It is terribly easy (even typical) for a parent or caregiver to become distracted while watching toddlers play in the kiddie pool and, even worse, while also trying to keep an eye on their older kids in the main pool. It happens! For lifeguards, unanticipated dangers lurk everywhere. Many pools are overcrowded, and it can be difficult to monitor children who become hidden. In larger pools, sightlines are often obscured by columns and curves. Glare on the water can mask danger. And unanticipated distractions for the lifeguard can be especially risky. Despite warnings from well-intentioned friends in the drowning prevention movement, the pitfalls and risks (emotional and otherwise) never overwhelmed Henry. I feel deeply touched by his seriousness and courage, given the tragedy we had lived through with Zachary. By the end of the summer, the closest Henry came to rescuing someone was when he offered to help an older gentleman navigate the pool stairs on his way out. The man gruffly rebuffed the offer, but Henry stood nearby to make sure that the man was able to safely hold his footing. No family should ever have to endure the loss of a child. When a parent turns to me, with fear and sympathy in their eyes, they will often ask how they can learn from Zachary's loss and prevent this from happening to them. We share easy-to-remember lifesaving tools, like the ABCDs of drowning prevention. There should always be an A dult present with eye-to-eye contact on the child swimming. B arriers, like fences and gates, are a must for restricting children's access to the water. Families should enroll in C lasses ― swim lessons for kids and CPR training for adults. D rains should be regularly inspected for broken and/or loose covers. And proper lifesaving D evices, i.e. U.S. Coast Guard-approved life jackets, should be worn at all times in open water. After our family's devastating loss, I never would have imagined that my other children would take on what has become my life's work. Maybe Henry didn't realize what the impact would be for me when he agreed to try lifeguarding, but his decision made me deeply proud. His willingness to be vulnerable and address our family's trauma head-on is a source of strength and hope. During the year of Zachary's 21st birthday, I look back and feel grateful for life's lessons learned and the opportunity to hopefully prevent a tragic loss for others. Karen Cohn co-founded The ZAC Foundation in 2008 with her husband, Brian Cohn, after their 6-year-old son, Zachary Archer Cohn, drowned when his arm became entrapped in a pool drain. Zachary's memory is the inspiration for the foundation's mission and activities. The ZAC Foundation has funded free water safety and swim camps for more than 20,000 children in at-risk communities nationwide and is spearheading the development of drowning prevention plans in four U.S. communities in the hopes of reducing the national drowning rate. Through her role at The ZAC Foundation, Karen has testified before congressional subcommittees as well as before state and federal agencies, including the Consumer Product Safety Commission and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. She has written about water safety issues for major media outlets and is also a Northeast Trustee of the Boys & Girls Clubs of America.

Fast Company

12-06-2025

• Fast Company

If you want to beat burnout, start counting your wins

When our son was 2 years old, our twins were born. That meant that for a while, we had three kids under 3 years old (and then three kids under 4, and then three under 5). At the time, I was also working at a high-stress job as a Justice Department attorney, with not enough support at home or at work. Perhaps I began to get depressed, but it would be more accurate to say I was moving too fast even to know how I felt. Mostly, I was like a hamster on a wheel: sprinting as fast as I could just to stay in place. My days blurred together in an endless loop of emails, laundry, preschool drop-offs, spit-up, 2 a.m. feedings, and briefing political appointees. I knew something had to change, but the entire concept of 'self-care' seemed completely inaccessible. A spin class? A pedicure? Even a massage? You might as well have told me to hike to the moon. Fortunately, I hit upon a quick, free, low-effort practice that helped me begin to find my way back to myself: I started to count my wins. Every night before I went to sleep, I would list three things I did well that day. They weren't huge accomplishments, I promise. Sometimes, they were things like, 'I got Henry to eat a green bean today.' But over time, something pretty incredible started to happen. Instead of feeling like a hamster on a wheel, running so fast and getting nowhere, I began to notice that I was actually getting somewhere. That email I spent two weeks on actually did go out, and it was pretty good if I do say so myself. I remembered to call my friend on her birthday. I made the vacation rental reservation. My life wasn't just an endless to-do list. There were lots and lots of things I was accomplishing all the time. The power of small wins Here's what I know: we are excellent at identifying what we haven't done. I bet you could list 10 unfinished tasks right now off the top of your head. But what about something you accomplished this week? Can you name even one? Our constant cataloguing of tasks and reminders of where we've fallen short starts to chip away at us. Merely thinking about our to-do lists creates anticipatory stress and fatigue, depleting our energy and creating overwhelm. When I forced myself to list the things I had accomplished, I was able to shift my focus away from all the things I was failing to achieve, and instead to notice all that I was. How to Start Counting Your Wins Make it a habit. Each night before bed, I'd name three things I did well that day. It's helpful to connect it to something that you're already doing, so you might try it on your commute, or while brushing your teeth. Daily is ideal, but weekly works, too. Be specific. 'I was a good manager' is fine. 'I supported Alex through a tough client call' is better. Specificity helps your brain register and remember the success. Define your own wins. Wins don't have to be big. They just have to matter to you. A win could be leading a meeting well or setting a boundary with a relative or remembering to bring your lunch. You get to define what counts. Check in with yourself. Set a calendar notice for three weeks after you've started counting your wins to ask yourself if you're seeing any difference in your patience or energy level. Are you a little easier on yourself? Are you finding it easier to identify wins? That reflection can motivate you to keep up the practice. It's so easy to lose sight of our progress. Counting your wins is a simple but powerful tool to reclaim that perspective. It doesn't require a lot of time or a major life overhaul, just a brief pause to recognize all that you are accomplishing. That moment of reflection can help you sustain momentum, rebuild resilience, and reconnect with a sense of purpose. In a world that often measures us by what's next, this practice reminds us: what you've already done counts, too.

Yahoo

01-06-2025

• Yahoo

My 6-Year-Old Son Drowned In Our Pool. Here's What I Wish I Had Known To Keep Him Safe.

When my son Zachary drowned in our backyard pool, I never dreamed that 15 years later, in the midst of a global pandemic and a severe lifeguard shortage, that his younger brother Henry would step up to pursue a job as a lifeguard. Henry now stands among the ranks of water-safety first responders, and his new position serves as a meaningful living remembrance on what would have been Zachary's 21st birthday. I'm still overwhelmed with emotion when I think back to that horrible day in 2007, the day that changed our lives forever. Each traumatic detail is etched into my memory ― the chlorine scent, the reflection of the late afternoon sun on the pool, the sweaty humidity, the piercing screams. The chaos of my son's drowning death comes rushing back in a wave of indescribably intense pain. It was a searing July afternoon, just two months after our fourth child, Sydney, was born. We had just moved into our dream home, and the family swam and played in our brand-new backyard pool. Zachary, then 6, showed off his swimming skills (thanks to an excellent program at his summer camp). Little did we know an unexpected tragedy beyond our wildest imagination was about to unfold. We believed we'd done everything to follow measures to keep our family safe. The pool was in full compliance with town safety codes that mandated fencing and door alarms for entrances to the pool area. Our children had taken swimming lessons; they were strong and comfortable in the water and always closely supervised. We couldn't know that the pool's drain cover was defective and had become loose, removing the barrier between swimmers and the powerful vacuum pump that can exert hundreds of pounds of sucking water pressure. In an instant, the strong suction from the drain had trapped Zachary's arm, holding him underwater. We were unable to free him until we were able to shut down the power to the pool. In the months that followed his death, we reeled from our loss. We tried to make sense of it and wondered how we could recover as a family and give meaning to a young life cut short so unfairly. The more we learned about water safety statistics ― that drowning is the leading cause of unintentional death for children between the ages of 1 and 4 and is the second-leading cause of death for children younger than 14 ― the more we knew we wanted to prevent other families from ever having to experience the loss of a child from drowning. With Zachary as our inspiration, we formed The ZAC Foundation a few years later. Over the last decade, the foundation has provided free swim camps for more than 20,000 kids around the country (especially in urban areas), has awarded grants for water safety education and research, and fostered partnerships to develop community-based drowning prevention plans in four large cities. Importantly, The ZAC Foundation has contributed toward the development of a national Water Safety Action Plan, designed to educate everyone (from homeowners to aquatic center personnel) about best practices to promote water safety and prevent drowning. Our entire family has been engaged from Day 1 on this journey to build the foundation. So it was no surprise that Henry said, at my suggestion, that he was 'all in' to become a lifeguard. Since the onset of the coronavirus pandemic, the American Lifeguard Association reported a whopping 40% to 50% staffing shortage at swimming areas across the country. These are well-paying jobs requiring skill and grit. I was confident that Henry ― a very strong, skilled swimmer and someone hyper-aware of the importance of water safety ― would make a highly competent lifeguard. On the first day of his training, Henry had to dive to the bottom of the deep end, retrieve a brick and swim with it to the shallow end. Even though he was strong and played sports, he found it hard to do, and at least two of his fellow students couldn't complete the task. When Henry came home and told us about the exercise, we couldn't help but wonder if we had made the right decision. Would he be able to handle the physical rigor and emotional stress of this job? And could we? Getting safety-certified wasn't easy. Henry nearly missed his sister's eighth-grade graduation due to lifeguard training. But he persevered, earned his certification and was hired at a pool in our community. From the get-go, he was hyper-vigilant. On his first day at the pool, he surprised his peers and supervisor by proactively asking them to locate the safety equipment. For Henry, water safety was not an abstraction. It was urgently real. He fully understood the importance of safety training and safe pool management. As statistics bear out, drowning incidents happen all the time ― even when lots of safety precautions have been taken. It is terribly easy (even typical) for a parent or caregiver to become distracted while watching toddlers play in the kiddie pool and, even worse, while also trying to keep an eye on their older kids in the main pool. It happens! For lifeguards, unanticipated dangers lurk everywhere. Many pools are overcrowded, and it can be difficult to monitor children who become hidden. In larger pools, sightlines are often obscured by columns and curves. Glare on the water can mask danger. And unanticipated distractions for the lifeguard can be especially risky. Despite warnings from well-intentioned friends in the drowning prevention movement, the pitfalls and risks (emotional and otherwise) never overwhelmed Henry. I feel deeply touched by his seriousness and courage, given the tragedy we had lived through with Zachary. By the end of the summer, the closest Henry came to rescuing someone was when he offered to help an older gentleman navigate the pool stairs on his way out. The man gruffly rebuffed the offer, but Henry stood nearby to make sure that the man was able to safely hold his footing. No family should ever have to endure the loss of a child. When a parent turns to me, with fear and sympathy in their eyes, they will often ask how they can learn from Zachary's loss and prevent this from happening to them. We share easy-to-remember lifesaving tools, like the ABCDs of drowning prevention. There should always be an Adult present with eye-to-eye contact on the child swimming. Barriers, like fences and gates, are a must for restricting children's access to the water. Families should enroll in Classes ― swim lessons for kids and CPR training for adults. Drains should be regularly inspected for broken and/or loose covers. And proper lifesaving Devices, i.e. U.S. Coast Guard-approved life jackets, should be worn at all times in open water. After our family's devastating loss, I never would have imagined that my other children would take on what has become my life's work. Maybe Henry didn't realize what the impact would be for me when he agreed to try lifeguarding, but his decision made me deeply proud. His willingness to be vulnerable and address our family's trauma head-on is a source of strength and hope. During the year of Zachary's 21st birthday, I look back and feel grateful for life's lessons learned and the opportunity to hopefully prevent a tragic loss for others. This piece originally ran in June 2022 and is being rerun as part of HuffPost Personal's 'Best Of' series. Karen Cohn co-founded The ZAC Foundation in 2008 with her husband, Brian Cohn, after their 6-year-old son, Zachary Archer Cohn, drowned when his arm became entrapped in a pool drain. Zachary's memory is the inspiration for the foundation's mission and activities. The ZAC Foundation has funded free water safety and swim camps for more than 20,000 children in at-risk communities nationwide and is spearheading the development of drowning prevention plans in four U.S. communities in the hopes of reducing the national drowning rate. Through her role at The ZAC Foundation, Karen has testified before congressional subcommittees as well as before state and federal agencies, including the Consumer Product Safety Commission and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. She has written about water safety issues for major media outlets and is also a Northeast Trustee of the Boys & Girls Clubs of America. Do you have a compelling personal story you'd like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we're looking for here and send us a pitch. My 15-Year-Old Student Died Of Cancer. He Gave Me A Life-Changing Gift I Never Expected. My Toddler Wears a Leash. Here's What It Taught Me About Parenthood. My Daughter's Rare Disease Was A Mystery For Years. Here's How We Finally Got A Diagnosis.