I've slept with 400 men to show them how to make love… parents have brought their sons to my £250-an-hour sessions
SEX EDUCATION I've slept with 400 men to show them how to make love… parents have brought their sons to my £250-an-hour sessions
Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window)
Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
LYING in the arms of the man I'd just had fantastic sex with, I smiled with satisfaction.
Somewhere out there was the next woman he'd sleep with, and she'd never know that, thanks to me, he'd been transformed from a clueless virgin into a skilled lover.
2
Intimacy expert Kaly Miller has been a sex surrogate for 15 years
Credit: Lorna Roach
2
Kaly's role is similar to that of Joy's on Channel 4 show, Virgin Island
But I wasn't in a relationship with this man – I was his sex therapist and surrogate.
Over three months, we'd progressed from him starting to get comfortable with physical intimacy, such as hand-holding, hugging and stroking, to more sexual touching.
And finally, we'd had sexual intercourse.
I've been a sex surrogate for 15 years, and during my career I've supported women with a fear of intimacy, helped a Hollywood actor overcome his sex addiction, and guided couples on how to safely have an open relationship.
I don't keep count of the number of clients I've slept with, but it's between 300 and 400.
Growing up in São Paulo, Brazil, if you'd told me that one day I'd be teaching people how to enjoy sex, I would never have believed it.
As a young woman, I was comfortable with my sexuality, but never questioned what I wanted or needed sexually.
I moved to London for university at 21, then married a few years later and had four children.
Running a successful events company with my husband, I enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle.
But working 18-hour days soon burned me out, and I just wasn't happy.
When I was 35, I ended my marriage, leaving my husband and the company, while I moved into a one-bedroom council flat with our children.
I'm a sex coach, women always ask what to do if their man won't talk about sex and it's NEVER a good sign
I went on to qualify as a masseuse, working with athletes and actors.
I enjoyed my job, but wasn't earning enough to give my children the life I wanted for them.
So, in 2013, I invested £3,000 in a surrogate partner therapy course, after seeing an ad in a local paper.
I thought it sounded like a great opportunity to further my massage skills, but on the first day, I was shocked to learn I'd be expected to have sex with clients.
I thought about quitting, but decided – with trepidation – to continue with the course because I'd paid so much money for it.
I'd studied tantric sex in my spare time, so I was more comfortable with my sexuality than ever, but I didn't know if I'd actually be able to go through with sleeping with someone.
Three months later, I met my first client, a single man in his 60s who was a virgin.
My initial thought was: 'I can't do this, he's the same age as my dad!'
But when I asked him why he'd come to the session, his response changed everything.
He explained that his brother had passed away recently, and he realised he didn't want to die without knowing what love felt like.
Men came to see me to overcome issues including being unable to get an erection, premature ejaculation, fear of intimacy and body dysmorphia
Kaly Miller
It helped me understand that there was a genuine need for sex surrogates and there was nothing sleazy about it.
I spent a month focusing on helping this man feel comfortable with his body, and teaching him how to touch a woman, before we had sex.
It felt so natural, as we'd established a trusting, loving bond and it made me realise how much impact a surrogate can have.
He went on to have a relationship with someone for the first time, and was so grateful.
How is masturbation beneficial for health?
Masturbation is nothing to be embarrassed about - after all, it's physically and mentally good for you!
Just like sex, masturbation - and likely an ending of orgasm - is healthy.
Masturbation releases endorphins which boost mood and can alleviate depressive symptoms and cortisol, the stress hormone.
It can help you relax, reduce stress and help you sleep better - which has a number of health benefits in itself.
In one study, published in the Frontiers in Public Health, almost half of men and women who masturbated before bed said they either got better sleep quality, or fell asleep quicker.
Spring Cooper is a social researcher with academic qualifications in public health, health promotion, and sexuality, said: "For women, masturbation can help prevent cervical infections and urinary tract infections through the process of 'tenting', or the opening of the cervix that occurs as part of the arousal process.
"Tenting stretches the cervix, and thus the cervical mucous.
"This enables fluid circulation, allowing cervical fluids full of bacteria to be flushed out.
"Masturbation can lower risk of type-2 diabetes (though this association may also be explained by greater overall health), reduce insomnia through hormonal and tension release, and increase pelvic floor strength through the contractions that happen during orgasm."
For men, there is evidence that climaxing may help to reduce the risk of prostate cancer - "probably by giving the prostate a chance to flush out potential cancer-causing agents," says Spring.
Though the benefits of masturbation are not the most scientifically studied, there's certainly no harm in doing it.
For the next five years, I worked under supervision – there was always a qualified sex surrogate present at all my client meetings, including during sex, and they would give me feedback and advise me if I was unsure.
Men came to see me to overcome issues including being unable to get an erection, premature ejaculation, fear of intimacy and body dysmorphia.
Women came to overcome trauma after giving birth, learn how to orgasm and to conquer their fear of penetration.
I also treated people who had difficulties after physical and sexual abuse.
THE NAKED ROOM
Eventually, I set up my own clinic, The Naked Room.
My four adult children and parents know and fully support what I do.
They all came to cheer me on when I won Somatic Sexologist of the Year at the Sexual Freedom Awards in 2022.
And though some friends were initially sceptical, they soon came round.
Before accepting clients, I meet them on Zoom so I can find out why they want to see me and also observe their body language, in order to spot unsuitable people who think they can just turn up and have sex with me.
One time, a man was naked. I turned off my camera and told him that's not what I'm here for.
Then, once they've completed a consent form and paperwork, my prices start from £250 for a one-hour in-person session, to £1,250 for a day session of five hours.
If a client is a virgin, the ultimate aim is for us to have sex.
If they're female, I can pass them on to a trusted male sex surrogate when they're ready.
Every client has to provide a recent STI test and I always use condoms.
I also work with couples, although I don't touch them – I coach them on how to touch each other.
I have no intention of stopping anytime soon – I feel privileged to help people overcome their issues
Kaly Miller
I insist on at least three sessions, because this isn't a quick process, and a maximum of 10 to make sure they don't form a romantic attachment with me.
Before meeting a client, I prepare by going to the gym or doing yoga, and I meditate on my commute.
Since I turned 50, I'm conscious I need look my best, so I see a dermatologist, and of course I regularly do kegel exercises to keep my pelvic floor muscles tight.
There have been many memorable moments over the years.
When one client saw my vagina – the first he'd ever seen – he was blown away.
'It's marvellous!' he said. 'I love the colour and the texture.' I was thinking: 'I've had sex for 30 years and not once has a partner admired me the way this guy has.'
Then there was the man with autism, who I helped have sex for the first time. His parents used to bring him to the sessions with me, and were so grateful.
His dad said to me: 'Thank you for making him experience life as a man outside of his challenges.'
Those sorts of moments are humbling and make me realise how much I'm helping people.
The 10 most-searched sex positions in the UK
The Eagle is searched for, on average, 150,730 times in the UK every month. Eagle 69 Missionary Cowgirl Reverse Cowgirl Standing Lotus Spooning Doggy Style Pretzel
My job has also helped me realise that sex can be incredibly powerful, rather than shallow or mediocre. I'm currently single, but I've had relationships since I became a sex surrogate.
I've learned to separate my professional and personal life to avoid falling into 'work mode' and educating partners on being the ideal lover.
I'm always transparent with a partner about my work and, so far, they've all been open-minded and unfazed by the fact I'll be sleeping with other men, and that I often get aroused while doing so.
I have no intention of stopping anytime soon – I feel privileged to help people overcome their issues.
Everyone who wants to enjoy great sex should be able to, and I'm happy to play a part in helping them achieve that.
Visit Thenakedroom.co.uk.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Scottish Sun
7 hours ago
- Scottish Sun
I've slept with 400 men to show them how to make love… parents have brought their sons to my £250-an-hour sessions
SEX EDUCATION I've slept with 400 men to show them how to make love… parents have brought their sons to my £250-an-hour sessions Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) LYING in the arms of the man I'd just had fantastic sex with, I smiled with satisfaction. Somewhere out there was the next woman he'd sleep with, and she'd never know that, thanks to me, he'd been transformed from a clueless virgin into a skilled lover. 2 Intimacy expert Kaly Miller has been a sex surrogate for 15 years Credit: Lorna Roach 2 Kaly's role is similar to that of Joy's on Channel 4 show, Virgin Island But I wasn't in a relationship with this man – I was his sex therapist and surrogate. Over three months, we'd progressed from him starting to get comfortable with physical intimacy, such as hand-holding, hugging and stroking, to more sexual touching. And finally, we'd had sexual intercourse. I've been a sex surrogate for 15 years, and during my career I've supported women with a fear of intimacy, helped a Hollywood actor overcome his sex addiction, and guided couples on how to safely have an open relationship. I don't keep count of the number of clients I've slept with, but it's between 300 and 400. Growing up in São Paulo, Brazil, if you'd told me that one day I'd be teaching people how to enjoy sex, I would never have believed it. As a young woman, I was comfortable with my sexuality, but never questioned what I wanted or needed sexually. I moved to London for university at 21, then married a few years later and had four children. Running a successful events company with my husband, I enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle. But working 18-hour days soon burned me out, and I just wasn't happy. When I was 35, I ended my marriage, leaving my husband and the company, while I moved into a one-bedroom council flat with our children. I'm a sex coach, women always ask what to do if their man won't talk about sex and it's NEVER a good sign I went on to qualify as a masseuse, working with athletes and actors. I enjoyed my job, but wasn't earning enough to give my children the life I wanted for them. So, in 2013, I invested £3,000 in a surrogate partner therapy course, after seeing an ad in a local paper. I thought it sounded like a great opportunity to further my massage skills, but on the first day, I was shocked to learn I'd be expected to have sex with clients. I thought about quitting, but decided – with trepidation – to continue with the course because I'd paid so much money for it. I'd studied tantric sex in my spare time, so I was more comfortable with my sexuality than ever, but I didn't know if I'd actually be able to go through with sleeping with someone. Three months later, I met my first client, a single man in his 60s who was a virgin. My initial thought was: 'I can't do this, he's the same age as my dad!' But when I asked him why he'd come to the session, his response changed everything. He explained that his brother had passed away recently, and he realised he didn't want to die without knowing what love felt like. Men came to see me to overcome issues including being unable to get an erection, premature ejaculation, fear of intimacy and body dysmorphia Kaly Miller It helped me understand that there was a genuine need for sex surrogates and there was nothing sleazy about it. I spent a month focusing on helping this man feel comfortable with his body, and teaching him how to touch a woman, before we had sex. It felt so natural, as we'd established a trusting, loving bond and it made me realise how much impact a surrogate can have. He went on to have a relationship with someone for the first time, and was so grateful. How is masturbation beneficial for health? Masturbation is nothing to be embarrassed about - after all, it's physically and mentally good for you! Just like sex, masturbation - and likely an ending of orgasm - is healthy. Masturbation releases endorphins which boost mood and can alleviate depressive symptoms and cortisol, the stress hormone. It can help you relax, reduce stress and help you sleep better - which has a number of health benefits in itself. In one study, published in the Frontiers in Public Health, almost half of men and women who masturbated before bed said they either got better sleep quality, or fell asleep quicker. Spring Cooper is a social researcher with academic qualifications in public health, health promotion, and sexuality, said: "For women, masturbation can help prevent cervical infections and urinary tract infections through the process of 'tenting', or the opening of the cervix that occurs as part of the arousal process. "Tenting stretches the cervix, and thus the cervical mucous. "This enables fluid circulation, allowing cervical fluids full of bacteria to be flushed out. "Masturbation can lower risk of type-2 diabetes (though this association may also be explained by greater overall health), reduce insomnia through hormonal and tension release, and increase pelvic floor strength through the contractions that happen during orgasm." For men, there is evidence that climaxing may help to reduce the risk of prostate cancer - "probably by giving the prostate a chance to flush out potential cancer-causing agents," says Spring. Though the benefits of masturbation are not the most scientifically studied, there's certainly no harm in doing it. For the next five years, I worked under supervision – there was always a qualified sex surrogate present at all my client meetings, including during sex, and they would give me feedback and advise me if I was unsure. Men came to see me to overcome issues including being unable to get an erection, premature ejaculation, fear of intimacy and body dysmorphia. Women came to overcome trauma after giving birth, learn how to orgasm and to conquer their fear of penetration. I also treated people who had difficulties after physical and sexual abuse. THE NAKED ROOM Eventually, I set up my own clinic, The Naked Room. My four adult children and parents know and fully support what I do. They all came to cheer me on when I won Somatic Sexologist of the Year at the Sexual Freedom Awards in 2022. And though some friends were initially sceptical, they soon came round. Before accepting clients, I meet them on Zoom so I can find out why they want to see me and also observe their body language, in order to spot unsuitable people who think they can just turn up and have sex with me. One time, a man was naked. I turned off my camera and told him that's not what I'm here for. Then, once they've completed a consent form and paperwork, my prices start from £250 for a one-hour in-person session, to £1,250 for a day session of five hours. If a client is a virgin, the ultimate aim is for us to have sex. If they're female, I can pass them on to a trusted male sex surrogate when they're ready. Every client has to provide a recent STI test and I always use condoms. I also work with couples, although I don't touch them – I coach them on how to touch each other. I have no intention of stopping anytime soon – I feel privileged to help people overcome their issues Kaly Miller I insist on at least three sessions, because this isn't a quick process, and a maximum of 10 to make sure they don't form a romantic attachment with me. Before meeting a client, I prepare by going to the gym or doing yoga, and I meditate on my commute. Since I turned 50, I'm conscious I need look my best, so I see a dermatologist, and of course I regularly do kegel exercises to keep my pelvic floor muscles tight. There have been many memorable moments over the years. When one client saw my vagina – the first he'd ever seen – he was blown away. 'It's marvellous!' he said. 'I love the colour and the texture.' I was thinking: 'I've had sex for 30 years and not once has a partner admired me the way this guy has.' Then there was the man with autism, who I helped have sex for the first time. His parents used to bring him to the sessions with me, and were so grateful. His dad said to me: 'Thank you for making him experience life as a man outside of his challenges.' Those sorts of moments are humbling and make me realise how much I'm helping people. The 10 most-searched sex positions in the UK The Eagle is searched for, on average, 150,730 times in the UK every month. Eagle 69 Missionary Cowgirl Reverse Cowgirl Standing Lotus Spooning Doggy Style Pretzel My job has also helped me realise that sex can be incredibly powerful, rather than shallow or mediocre. I'm currently single, but I've had relationships since I became a sex surrogate. I've learned to separate my professional and personal life to avoid falling into 'work mode' and educating partners on being the ideal lover. I'm always transparent with a partner about my work and, so far, they've all been open-minded and unfazed by the fact I'll be sleeping with other men, and that I often get aroused while doing so. I have no intention of stopping anytime soon – I feel privileged to help people overcome their issues. Everyone who wants to enjoy great sex should be able to, and I'm happy to play a part in helping them achieve that. Visit
Scottish Sun
10 hours ago
- Scottish Sun
My marriage to Spencer Matthews nearly didn't happen admits Vogue Williams as she reveals secret dating tip for singles
Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) HER husband may raise money for charity and his brother is related to the Royal Family, but when it comes to the in-laws, Vogue Williams insists she is their favourite. The TV presenter married Spencer Matthews in 2018, and his brother James wed Princess Kate's younger sister Pippa Middleton the year before. 5 TV presenter Vogue Williams is a hit with her husband's family Credit: David Titlow - Commissioned by The Sun Fabulous magazine 5 Perfect match Vogue and Spencer on their wedding day in 2018 Credit: Instagram But in an exclusive interview, Vogue, 39, says: 'I am a firm favourite with my in-laws. I would say I'm even above the siblings.' Hers is a marriage that very nearly did not happen, though, because Vogue admits she once thought that Spencer, 36, was a 'sociopath'. He might now be a clean-living marathon runner, but in 2017, when they met on Channel 4 reality ski show The Jump, he was known for being a heavy-drinking party boy from Made In Chelsea. Vogue says: 'I kind of met him with a preconceived idea, and I was like, 'I'm not going to like him' because I thought he was a sociopath. 'But after I met him, I loved his personality straight away . . . he was so sound, but I was being really good at being single and I wanted to stay single, so I thought, 'He's going to be a really good friend' — that's the first thing I thought.' Fast forward eight years and the couple are now parents to Theodore, six, Gigi, four, and three-year-old Otto. 'I was feral' But in her new memoir, Big Mouth, Vogue reveals how life wasn't always easy for her growing up in County Dublin, with her parents Sandra and Freddie separating when she was five. And speaking to The Sun on Sunday, she explains how she found it tough when her own marriage to her first husband, Westlife star Brian McFadden, ended in divorce in 2017 — because she had never been single before. Vogue says: 'I was just kind of a relationship girl, and in a way I regret that. 'I was in a relationship from when I was 18 for six-and-a-half years, and then another relationship, and then after my first marriage ended, I made the conscious decision to try to be single because I'd never actually been on my own. Vogue Williams new book release 'I needed to be single. 'I absolutely hated it at the start, and then I loved it. 'I felt so in control of everything, and I was doing it on my own and I really enjoyed it. 'If you're a single girl in London, check out Battersea Park on a Saturday morning, and you can thank me later!' But Vogue admits she initially struggled to play the dating game. Laughing loudly, she says: 'I'm kind of a frigid. 'Before I met Spen, I'd meet someone nice and I'd kiss them, and I thought I'd be nice and invite them back to the party that was happening at my house. My parents were very strict, so we were always trying to find ways around that. Vogue Williams 'And we'd get back to the party, and they'd turn around to me and go, 'Will we go to your room?'. And I'd be like, 'Why? The party is here'. I never clicked that they were never coming back just for the party, but for other stuff.' However, Vogue's single days did not last long. She and Spencer tied the knot in June 2018 and she was firmly welcomed into the family fold by his multi-millionaire parents. Since then, Vogue has landed DJ gigs on Virgin Radio and Heart, and fronted segments on ITV's Lorraine and Channel 4's Steph's Packed Lunch. Meanwhile, Spencer is now sober, runs his own successful booze-free drinks brand, CleanCo, and last year ran 30 desert marathons in 30 days — all on sand. It set a new Guinness World Record and raised more than £500,000 for Global's Make Some Noise, which supports small charities across the UK. Between them, the power couple have more than two million followers on social media and their careers are going from strength to strength. 5 Vogue and Spencer in the Jordanian desert after Spencer's 30 marathons in 30 days last summer Credit: Jam Press 5 Pippa Middleton with Vogue and Spencer Credit: PA Vogue also reveals that her in-laws — landowner and entrepreneur David Matthews and his wife Jane — are role models who 'have been together for ever' and are still 'really happy'. She appears to have everything in life that could make her happy, too — but she says she has often struggled with the notoriously cut-throat showbiz world because she has never been 'cool'. Vogue explains: 'I think, in this industry in particular, there is nothing wrong if you are not in the cool gang. 'Let's say Kate Moss — she was in the cool gang back in the day, and I just feel I wouldn't have been, and I'm OK with that. 'Some people think that they are really cool and wouldn't give you the time of day. 'Sometimes they'd say hi to you at an event, and sometimes they wouldn't, and I've got to a point in my life where I really don't care if I'm not cool. 'I'm just grand where I am and I have got really good friends who are still in my life since I was 12, that I made when I was in secondary school, and they are actually what's most important in life. "My family are really amazing, and who I spend most of my time with. 'Spencer was raging' 'Then I come across people I love, and loads of people in the industry that I meet — they're sound. 'I was on Paloma Faith's podcast the other day and was really nervous because it's Paloma, but she was just fing hilarious and brilliant. 'She's pretty cool, so maybe I've got a foot in the door there!' Vogue has never fully left her Irish roots. For her book, she enjoyed reflecting on her life growing up. She says: 'I loved going back to my childhood and going back through all the things my sister Amber and I used to do. 'My parents were very strict, so we were always trying to find ways around that. 'There was a swamp around the corner that we always wanted to swim in, but we weren't allowed. 'We'd go to our friends' house up the road and their parents didn't give a crap what they did. 'So, we would go to their house and put their clothes on and swim in the swamp. 5 Vogue's in-laws David and Jane Matthews Credit: i-Images 'Then we would go back and put our own clothes on and act like nothing had happened. I was feral.' Soon, her own kids will be able to follow in her footsteps because she and Spencer are hoping to spend more time near her home town of Howth, Dublin, in a house the couple bought last year. Vogue calls it their 'forever home', and they have put their apartment overlooking the River Thames up for sale, too. They first listed it a year ago and have recently slashed the price by £1.3million to £3.9million. Vogue says: 'I like to take the kids home as much as I can — I want them to have friends in Ireland, so that they always want to go back, and they enjoy spending time there. 'I want them to know Irish phrases if they can. 'They got the free Irish passports, so they've got to work for it a little bit. 'They wouldn't give Spenny one and he was raging.' Chances are that Vogue made the decision to move because — even though she struggles to admit it — she likes being in control. She says: 'I think when it comes to wearing the trousers between Spen and I, it shifts. 'I don't think anyone wants to wear the trousers full-time, do they? 'I don't. My therapist did tell me I was controlling though, so I fing fired him!' But she admits: 'He was right — I do like controlling things.' It's clearly a quality that her in-laws admire.
Daily Mirror
14 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Alison Hammond defended by fans after truly toxic comment from cruel troll
This Morning star Alison Hammond was left shocked when a social media troll unleashed toxic, unprovoked comments against her - but she was swiftly supported by her fans Alison Hammond was defended by her fans after coming under a brutal attack from an online troll. The 50-year-old TV host has been in the spotlight for decades after first finding fame on Big Brother in 2002. She has since built up an impressive hosting career on the small screen - landing broadcasting roles including on ITV's This Morning and Channel 4's The Great British Bake Off. As her workload has increased, Alison has enjoyed support and adoration from fans. She has even made a name on an international front as her light hearted interviews with major Hollywood stars have gone viral, making her recognisable to many around the world. However, her increased profile has also attracted negative comments and Alison has at times been the victim of toxic online comments. On social media, Alison commands an impressive following - with almost 440,000 appreciating her content on X alone. At the top of her feed, she has a video clip from 2021 showing her casually sitting on a slow moving mini tractor. An accompanying caption states: "Rolling into My Holidays!" alongside a shades wearing emoji face. On Friday, a fellow user unexpectedly lashed out at the star, writing: "Any time we see you are on TV we switch channels as you turn our stomachs being so fat and repulsive with a huge mouth." Alison reacted to the post, quote tweeting it and writing simply "Wow!" in shock. While the initial message was cruel, Alison quickly found herself on the receiving end of positive messages as many fans rallied around to shower her with complements. One wrote in reaction: "Extremely mean and rude. I love watching you, you bring a sparkle to Bake Off and look after the bakers when they are feeling a tad stressed and upset. Plus the fall off the counter was epic." Another typed: "Alison you know how special and fantastic you are one of life's gems always wanting to make people smile and these disgusting people are not worth giving airtime too you keep being you xx love you bab." And another revealed they often turn to classic clips of the former reality star to help boost their mood, writing: "Their loss! I watch reels of you to pick me up, the Harrison Ford & Ryan Reynolds interview is legendary." Last month, Alison revealed she has a sense of pride about the TV work she does and the fact that some fans have been left uplifted by her interviews. She told The Times: "It's so important to have some light relief and a little bit of happiness in your life. If that comes through me taking the mickey out of a big star in an interview — like I did with Ryan Gosling and Harrison Ford or Hugh Jackman — then brilliant, I say." The TV star went on to explain that she has been told by fans how much she has helped them. She said: "I get letters from people saying that they were on the brink of suicide before they watched one of my interviews." She also opened up about how exercise has been helpful for her own mental health. She revealed: "If I'm not filming, the first thing I do — usually several hours before [my son] Aidan wakes up — is go to the gym, where I'll do some heavy lifting. "I've been doing weights for ten years now and I can deadlift 65kg. It's good for my mental health and to prevent osteoporosis. You've got to keep on top of things."
