Dear Class of 2025: These star athletes have some advice for you
Editor's Note: This story is a part of Peak, The Athletic's desk covering leadership, personal development and success through the lens of sports. Follow Peak here.
In early May, New York Yankees legend Derek Jeter gave the commencement address at the University of Michigan and offered some important guidance to the Class of 2025.
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'Put the phone down,' Jeter said. 'At least for a second.'
Great advice. Well, right after you read this story.
Earlier this week, I wrote a story about Roger Federer and his viral commencement speech at Dartmouth last June. In the process of reporting the story, I watched more than 20 athlete commencement addresses from the last 20 years.
The list included an explosion of speeches this graduation season — Jeter at Michigan, Mia Hamm at North Carolina, Simone Biles at Washington University in St. Louis, Grant Hill at Duke, Carmelo Anthony at Syracuse, A.J. Brown at Ole Miss and Jonquel Jones at George Washington, to name just a few.
For the Class of 2025, and everyone else, here are my favorite lessons:
The lesson: Show up for yourself consistently
Do something every day that scares you. Put in the work on days when everything is clicking and you're in your zone, and just as important, put in the work on days you feel like you're not even in the right arena.
When you're consistent, when you bring your best to your practice every single day, then you'll be ready for the big moments. For me, it didn't matter if I was competing in a local meet or in the Olympics, the only difference was the setting. I could trust that I had put in the work because I had consistently brought my best self to practice every day, and now all I needed to do was get out there and do my thing.
The lesson: Don't run for most popular. Run for most respected
I was the first pick in the draft. And with that, I inherited this big shiny trophy that I carried around and had one word engraved on it, and that was anxiety. You see, the problem was — and this is the point — I felt like I had to be perfect to justify my draft status. I became my own worst enemy. I constantly stressed for others' approval and worried about what they were thinking. I felt I couldn't even make the smallest of mistakes. And then when I did make a mistake, I agonized over it.
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This became a paralyzing cycle. I became cautious. I was tentative. My entire mindset became, 'Don't screw up.' Literally, I would tell myself, 'Don't screw up, don't screw up, don't throw an incompletion, don't throw an interception, don't fumble, don't drop the snap, don't line up under the guard.'
Like, that's what I would say. I was young, and I let my insecurities and own self-doubt get the best of me. I worried about others' approval. The result was I was stressed, I was exhausted, and I was full of anxiety. And most importantly, I was completely unproductive.
My first prescription: We are not running for most popular. Instead, I encourage you all to run for most respected. Unless Ray Lewis is chasing you, and then I encourage you to run for your life.
The lesson: Hold fast your dreams
Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that 'the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.' So my message to you today comes from the words of the poet Langston Hughes. And I quote, 'Hold fast your dreams. For when dreams die, life is like a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.'
Today, I want to challenge you to hold fast to your dreams.
The lesson: The best teams are diverse teams
The best teams embrace each other's differences because they know those differences make them stronger. A team with 11 Mia Hamms will not win the World Cup or an Olympic gold. They will have really good hair, though, just saying.
You need people with different skills, different strengths, different approaches to solving problems. You need diversity.
And speaking from experience, a team with diverse talent means I don't have to do it all. I don't have to guard the goal and be the first on the line for a penalty kick and give the pregame pep talk. I can focus on my strengths and help my teammates build theirs, and when I mess up, I can count on my team to help me learn from my mistakes and make me better. Teams that achieve this kind of unity just feel different.
The lesson: Success is rented
You are your own operation. Your discipline is your product. Your name is your brand. Your habits are your investments. Nobody's coming to build it for you. And nobody's coming to rescue you when it gets hard.
Success isn't owned. It's rented. And rent is due every single day.
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The lesson: Failure is fuel and fuel is power
Like all little girls, I was taught to be grateful. I was taught to keep my head down, stay on the path and get my job done. I was freaking Little Red Riding Hood. You know the fairy tale. Just one iteration of the warning stories girls are told the world over. Little Red Riding Hood heads off to the woods and is given strict instructions. Stay on the path. Don't talk to anybody. Keep your head down, hidden underneath your 'Handmaid's Tale' cape. And she does at first. But then she dares to get a little curious, and she ventures off the path.
That's, of course, when she encounters the big, bad wolf and all hell breaks loose.
The message is clear. Don't be curious. Don't make trouble. Don't say too much, or bad things will happen. I stayed on the path out of fear, not of being eaten by a wolf. But of being cut, being benched, losing my paycheck.
If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: 'Abby, you were never Little Red Riding Hood. You were always the wolf.'
In that locker room, I learned that in order to become my very best, on the pitch and off, I need to spend my life letting the feelings and lessons of failure transform into my power. Failure is fuel. Fuel is power.
Women, listen to me. We must embrace failure as our fuel instead of accepting it as our destruction.
The lesson: Listen to the voice in your head
There are two types of expectations. Our own, which are triggered by personal values and beliefs, experiences, goals, ambitions, self-confidence, personal biases. Then there's other people's expectations. They're built on peer pressure, family influences, professional standards, media, pop culture. That can be really heavy.
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What you're really up against is doubt. Aim high. Feel your own expectations. You've got a lot of life ahead of you. You owe it to yourself to think long and hard about what you wanna do with your life, to think about what you value most.
I spent my entire career playing in the biggest media market in the world. The glare was constant. The attention, it was relentless. Many called me mysterious, amongst other things, but we'll use mysterious. Because I kept things private. Look, in reality, I was just listening to the voice in my head. It was my dad's voice. He kept telling me, 'Be patient. Listen more than I spoke.'
So I looked, I listened, I learned. Silence made me smarter. Silence made me better.
The lesson: Leave your mark
Approach every opportunity with an attitude of gratitude and a mindset that whatever you encounter, you will leave it better than when you arrived. We have all been part of that here in New Orleans, but why stop here?
Everything you do in life, leave your mark. Leave your mark, be a great steward of the community and … understand that part of your purpose in life is to leave whatever you touch better than when you found it.
The lesson: Community is how you live
One thing, as you chase your dreams, don't forget where you came from. And don't forget the people who helped you get there. I've had the blessing of support from my family, my mentors, my team, and the support is why I'm standing here today.
What's the point of success if you're not using it to lift others? Community isn't just where you live. It's how you live. It's who you invest in. It's what you stand for when nobody's watching.
The lesson: Your action will delineate and define you
Make kindness a priority, not a blurred line. There are some people who will criticize your generation's altruism as childlike fantasy. Yet you're the generation that can put ethics and values back in vogue again. You're the generation that can challenge leaders in business, government and other professions to make decisions based not solely on the bottom line, but also on what's good for your community and others halfway around the globe.
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I challenge you. Show the world by your actions that you understand where the real sustainable value is.
The lesson: Successful people are intentional
Successful people are intentional people. 'How,' you ask? All it takes is five simple but deliberate steps.
Step No. 1: Evaluate your goal. Is it powerful enough to propel you forward?
Two: Tune out the noise and get rid of distractions. We all know what distractions are, and it starts with Instagram on your phone.
Three: Be patient because success rarely happens overnight.
Four: Be willing to take risks commensurate with the reward.
And, finally, five: Even if you falter, don't stop until you've climbed the mountaintop. Your future won't be drawn by a straight line or even pace.
The lesson: Your voice is the only compass you have
I know when I say trust your instincts, it can sound vague, but here's what I've learned: The voice is often the only compass you'll have. There's no map for life. When the choices aren't clear and the stakes are high, no one can make the call for you, and I promise you, those moments will come.
They may come when you're deciding between job offers or when you're brave enough to walk away from something that looks great on paper but doesn't feel right in your spirit. They may come when you're the only one in the room who has a different vision or when you're building something no one else believes in yet. Those are the moments when listening to your gut is going to matter most. So when the time comes, and it will, when you have to take a risk, make a move, stand your ground, or listen to that inner voice.
The lesson: Feedback, not failure
There are those who think life is a marathon. I don't agree. I think life is a series of sprints. You get to start over and over and over again, always adapting to the long and winding road in front of you. Along the way, you'll have failures. But if you choose to see these failures as feedback, it will help you plan your next step.
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I'll explain. When I used to play, a long time ago, that game of tennis, the ball would be coming to me. Each ball is a new opportunity. I have to make a decision, so I have to accept responsibility. In less than a nanosecond, I have to decide where I'm going to hit it. If I hit the ball and it goes wide, I take in that information. I correct it in my mind's eye. I delete it from my computer, my brain, and then I correct it. And I enter that in my computer, my brain, so I am ready for the next time.
It's feedback, not failure.
(Illustration: Dan Goldfarb / The Athletic; Jim McIsaac / Getty Images)
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