The 9 life-saving questions to ask your partner, dad or brother NOW – without being accused of nagging
FATHER'S Day is all about appreciating the men in our lives, whether they're husbands, dads or grandads.
And the best present you can give them?
To talk about their health.
Men are notorious for avoiding the GP – almost half feel under pressure to 'tough it out' when it comes to health worries, and one in three feel that speaking about their health issues threatens to make them look weak, according to the Office for National Statistics' Health Insight Survey of 1,000 men.
But women can help nudge them.
'We get a lot of men saying they're coming in because their partner's told them to,' says Dr Rachel Ward, GP at Woodlands Medical Centre in Didcot.
So, this Father's Day, take our quiz with your loved one to help turn their health around.
1. Are you exercising?
Regular exercise is one of the best things you can do for your health – physically and mentally.
'People underestimate how much healthier you feel,' says Dr Ward.
It can also improve sleep, eating habits and your sex life.
WHAT NEXT? The NHS says you should do 150 minutes of moderate, or 75 minutes of vigorous, exercise a week.
Don't know where to start?
'A half-hour afternoon walk will transform your day,' says Dr Ward, who recommends doing this five times a week.
2. Have you checked your vitals?
' High blood pressure or cholesterol predisposes you to heart attack and stroke, but it is a silent disease – frequently, you won't have symptoms,' says Dr Ward.
'It's important to get blood pressure and cholesterol checked, because they can be doing damage, even though you're oblivious.'
WHAT NEXT? 'Pharmacists offer free blood pressure tests, and from age 40, you can have the NHS Health Check, which checks blood pressure and cholesterol, and for diabetes,' says Dr Ward
3. Have you had any ongoing pain?
We all have a little pain here and there.
'If you had knee pain and you were older with some arthritis, it's less concerning,' says Dr Ward.
'But chronic pain is not good and affects mobility and mood.
"You shouldn't just soldier on. Certain pains could relate to an underlying cancer.'
For example, abdominal pain could be caused by pancreatic or bowel cancer.
WHAT NEXT? If you have a new pain that's not going away, get it checked out by a GP.
4. Have you thought about stopping smoking?
Newsflash – smoking is really bad for you. 'It's a huge risk factor for multiple cancers, but also heart disease and stroke,' says Dr Ward.
It is bad for every organ system and it can kill you.'
WHAT NEXT? 'It's a really difficult thing to give up,' Dr Ward says.
'But you've got a much higher chance of being successful if you get help.'
Local free NHS stop-smoking services are a great starting point.
5. Who do you talk to when you're overwhelmed?
'Men, especially older generations, are still not great at admitting to themselves when they're feeling overwhelmed,' says Dr Ward.
'Men are less likely to talk about it with mates than women are.'
But it's vital that they do get talking – 75% of those who die by suicide in the UK are male.*
WHAT NEXT? 'Thinking: 'Who is a person I can trust?' is a healthy conversation to have, even if you are feeling well,' says Dr Ward.
Visit Manup.how, which runs free mental health sessions, and Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.
6. Have you weighed yourself recently?
Obesity is a key driver of diabetes and heart disease, according to the World Health Organisation.
'But people don't realise how much of a predisposing factor it is for cancer,' says Dr Ward.
'It has a massive impact on every aspect of health.'
WHAT NEXT? Suggest the whole family look at creating healthier habits, such as daily walks or preparing meals together from scratch.
GPs may be able to refer you to free NHS weight services.
7. Do you pee easily?
While getting up in the night to wee, hesitancy, reduced flow and dribbling are associated with ageing, Dr Ward warns: 'They can also be symptoms of prostate cancer,' which is the most common cancer in men in the UK.
Other symptoms are feeling like the bladder has not fully emptied and blood in urine or semen.
However, many men do not have symptoms, especially in the early stages of disease, so it is vital to be aware of the risk, which increases with age.
'If you have a family history and if you are black, you have increased risk,' says Dr Ward.
Thankfully, caught early, the disease is manageable.
WHAT NEXT? 'New or worsening symptoms should be a trigger to speak to your GP and get your prostate checked,' says Dr Ward, who adds that men should not feel embarrassed.
'Urinary and bowel symptoms are bread and butter for us.'
Use the risk checker at Prostatecancer uk.org/risk-checker or talk to your GP.
8. How are things in the bedroom?
Admittedly, this is probably one to ask your partner, rather than your dad!
But sexual dysfunction is not something to be brushed off.
'It can be a sign of prostate cancer, diabetes, mental health problems and relationship issues,' says Dr Ward.
It can also warn of heart health issues.
WHAT NEXT? Men should always speak to their GP about erectile dysfunction.
It can be caused by other medications, so a GP can consider alternatives, while Viagra is available over the counter in pharmacies.
9. How much are you drinking?
There are huge health repercussions from excess drinking, says Dr Ward.
'It increases the risk of cancer, liver disease, cognitive impairment, mood and more.'
The NHS-recommended limit is up to 14 units spread over one week, the equivalent of around six pints of average-strength beer.
WHAT NEXT? If you are worried about a loved one's drinking, start with a chat about it.
Avoid judgement and instead express concern, care and support.
Encourage them to use resources such as the DrinkControl: Alcohol Tracker app, Alcohol Change UK, or to see their GP.
Don't be a nag (but do get results)
Sex therapist and head of clinical practice at Relate, Ammanda Major, shares her tips for navigating a defensive partner.
Skip the guilt trip. 'Try speaking from a caring position instead,' says Ammanda.
'Avoid negative statements like: 'You never go to the doctor.'' Instead, invite conversation with caring language.
'Say: 'I really love you and I feel a bit concerned.
"I wondered whether it'd be an idea to see the doctor. What do you think?'
"Don't blame, and be curious about the responses.'
Find a quiet moment to address the issue. 'Don't bring it up mid-row,' says Ammanda.
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