'Dyslexia made me feel worthless at school - but it's been a superpower'
Successful businesswoman and author Maddy-Alexander Grout was reduced to tears as a schoolgirl struggling with dyslexia. Having put her shame behind her, Maddy now embraces her differences and is showing support for Jamie Oliver's important new campaign
Much like Jamie Oliver, Maddy-Alexander Grout does not look back on her schooldays with much affection.
Similarly to Jamie, Maddy had to navigate school life with dyslexia, which saw her unfairly labelled as "stupid" and "slow". Now 41, successful businesswoman and author Maddy has painful memories of crying during spelling tests, and remembers how, even though the words were potentially spelt correctly, "the letters were around the wrong way".
Initially, Maddy's teacher believed her difficulties reading from the board were due to short-sightedness, and so she was given a pair of glasses she didn't even need. Maddy, from Southampton, laughingly admitted: "I fudged the test because I wanted to wear them."
At the age of six, Maddy was diagnosed with dyslexia, a widely misunderstood learning difference that affects a person's reading, writing, and spelling abilities. As a creative child, Maddy loved drawing, painting and reading, and had a particular love of comics such as The Beano and The Dandy.
However, visual learner Maddy found she read in a "different way" from her peers, reading quickly but then having to go back and re-read certain parts. Reading aloud in front of the class was also a nightmare.
Maddy told the Mirror: "I used to get filled with absolute dread when the teacher at school used to make you stand up and read in front of the class. I'd always stumble over my words and repeat words or miss words out, and I used to get told off for it, and kind of ashamed."
In his one-hour Channel 4 documentary, Jamie's Dyslexia Revolution, the TV chef opens up about the challenges he faced as a pupil with dyslexia, pushing for early screenings and better neurodiversity awareness.
Speaking with The Sunday Times, Jamie shared that making the doc had been the "most viscerally painful" thing he's ever done, reflecting: "I've seen so many high-flying, talented, grown men cry about this — I've just done it to you — the concept of being worthless (when you're) young is real. It's really triggering."
This is something Maddy can relate to all too well. She shared: "I wasn't supported in the right way. I think with the right support, people who are divergent—and you know, that includes dyslexia—can really thrive. So what Jamie is doing to raise awareness is absolutely incredible. I can really relate to how he felt at school because there were times when I felt like that."
Following her initial diagnosis, Maddy switched schools as she wasn't getting the help she so desperately needed. She liked her next teacher, who helped her to "thrive", but this was far from the end of her difficulties. In high school, Maddy received external support from an English coach, but didn't receive any extra exam time or other means of assistance now available for pupils who are dyslexic.
Maddy recalled: "I remember this one English class being asked to read something from Romeo and Juliet, and I think I actually even got one of the main characters' names wrong. I think I called him something else that was not even in the book, and it was just like, 'Where did that come from? '
"But it was really hard, you know, imagine like standing up in front of 30 people, knowing that you're gonna get it wrong, like that's it, it's scarring, and it does stay with you as a child."
Outside of academics, socialising was also a struggle. As a youngster, Maddy suffered the cruelties of being picked on, and also struggled when it came to making friends, "smothering" those she did get close to.
At that time, Maddy hadn't yet been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), a condition which often coexists with dyslexia. This common link is something that Maddy, who now works as an ADHD money and business coach, is keen to draw attention to.
Looking back with a far better understanding of herself, Maddy now knows there was never anything wrong with her, aware that learning in a neurotypical setting was just a case of trying to "put a CD in a tape player". Considering what she'd say to her younger self, Maddy said: "Believe in yourself, you're not broken, you're just different."
Although Maddy is comfortable in her own skin now, it's been a long journey to get there. From her early to late teens, Maddy felt "completely and utterly useless". Her ADHD also affected the way Maddy dealt with money, landing her in £40,000 worth of debt. She was thankfully able to pay this hefty sum off, using self-taught "tips and tricks", which she discusses in her ADHD-focused finance book, Mad About Money.
Indeed, as well as accepting her differences, Maddy has learned to embrace them and is eager to show that there are many benefits to having dyslexia and ADHD, which aren't talked about enough. Highlighting how those with dyslexia can often be "really strategic thinkers" and excellent storytellers, Maddy remarked that "lots of dyslexic people go on to be really good entrepreneurs."
Pointing at the prime example of Jamie, Maddy noted: "I mean, Jamie Oliver is an incredible entrepreneur. He's not just a chef, he's somebody who is actually going out there and telling his story and changing lives, and that's what I wanted to do with my book.
"I think there is a common misconception that dyslexic people are not very clever when actually we are really clever, we just have different brains that process things in a different way."
Jamie has spoken out about how entering the kitchen "saved" him, allowing him to carve a path for himself after feeling alienated by the traditional school system. For Maddy, this lifeline was public speaking, a talent which has allowed her to find her voice and speak up for others navigating similar journeys, through channels such as her Mad About Money podcast.
Nowadays, Maddy is happy to "show up imperfectly" and encourages others to learn more about their brains so that they can show up as the person they're meant to be. She's also cautioned against shame, urging others to see the strengths in their "different operating systems " instead of flaws.
Maddy is now mum to Ben, 10, and Harriet, 6, both of whom have dyslexia. Although she's seen improvements in how dyslexia is handled in modern schools, she believes there's still some way to go. Expressing her wishes for the future, Maddy continued: "I want there to be more education for children. Not just education for children who are dyslexic, but I'd like to see education for all children in school about what dyslexia actually is, so that they don't bully their friends, or they don't have negative conversations or call people stupid.
"I want people to actually be talking about the positives about dyslexia as well because I think that's something that's not done enough. I think you need more people who have dyslexia who are successful at speaking in schools. I think that would be a really good thing to show people that you can achieve things and not to see yourself as negative."
You can catch Jamie's Dyslexia Revolution on Channel 4 at 9 pm on June 9.
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