If white British people become a minority, the Left will be in serious trouble
Within the next 40 years, white British people will become a minority in this country. And by the year 2100, they'll account for only a third of the population. So predicted Professor Matt Goodwin of Buckingham University in a report this week. And, ever since, I've been pondering an intriguing question.
If his prediction comes to pass, will the Left still support DEI?
After all, the whole point of DEI – the progressive doctrine of 'diversity, equity and inclusion' – is to benefit minorities. So, if white British people become a minority, will Left-wing activists throw all their righteous energies into championing them?
Perhaps they'll insist that job adverts give priority to applicants who are white British. And order schools to celebrate White British History Month. And, when political parties are seeking election candidates, demand that they increase white British representation by adopting all-white British shortlists.
Equally, perhaps they'll call on the BBC to cast white British actors in non-white British roles. And argue that all non-white workers should undergo unconscious bias training, to check that they aren't harbouring prejudice against the white British community – or, as they're properly known, People of No Colour.
I suppose it's possible. But, for some reason, I have a funny feeling they'll decide there's no longer any need for DEI – because, once the white British are a small minority, true social justice will finally have been achieved.
In 2016, the late Canadian comedian Norm MacDonald told the greatest satirical joke of our age. It went like this.
'What terrifies me is if Isis were to donate a nuclear device and kill 50 million Americans. Imagine the backlash against peaceful Muslims?'
A perfect skewering of 21st-century liberal priorities. I'm reminded of it often. For example, whenever there's a debate in the Commons or on the BBC about the grooming gangs scandal – and the talk, as always, turns swiftly to the dangers of Islamophobia.
This week, I was reminded of that sublimely dark joke once again. And it was thanks to a truly mind-boggling article in the newspaper USA Today.
Last Sunday, in the Colorado city of Boulder, a firebombing attack was launched on a group of Jewish people who had gathered to raise awareness of Israeli hostages in Gaza. Following the arrest, at the scene, of a 45-year-old Egyptian migrant who allegedly told police he wanted to 'kill all Zionist people', immigration officials began taking steps to deport his family, who are also Egyptian migrants. And how did USA Today choose to cover this development?
By publishing a piece with the tear-jerking headline, 'Boulder Suspect's Daughter Dreamed of Studying Medicine. Now She Faces Deportation.' Beneath this headline we were informed that 18-year-old Habiba had recently won a 'Best and Brightest scholarship', and 'written about her hope of accomplishing great things'.
Well, I suppose it's only natural that a newspaper would wish to focus on Habiba's plight. Because of course she's the real victim here.
After a backlash from thousands of staggered readers, USA Today revised the article on its website, to give at least a little more prominence to the firebombing attack and the members of the public who were seriously injured in it – including an 88-year-old Holocaust survivor.
Anyway, I hope that the newspaper's journalists aren't feeling too sad about the crushing of Habiba's dreams. Because I've got some wonderful news for them.
Incredible though it may sound, the US isn't the only country on Earth where it's possible to study medicine. In fact, it can even be studied in Egypt. So there's really no need for Habiba to miss out.
And if she doesn't fancy Egypt, there's an exciting alternative. She and her family can simply come and live in Britain. Here, after all, they can rest safe in the knowledge that we never deport anyone.
More and more MPs, reports the BBC, are deciding against the legalisation of assisted suicide – or, to use the term preferred by its supporters, 'assisted dying'. These MPs say they supported the idea in principle, but now reluctantly concede that the bill lacks adequate safeguards.
Good on them. But I hope that the many MPs who still support the bill will consider another crucial argument against. Which is that, if they legalise assisted suicide, the criteria for eligibility will inevitably widen, as it has in other Western countries. And so, in due course, we could end up like the Netherlands – where, last year, a woman in her 20s was granted an assisted suicide. She wasn't terminally ill. In fact, she wasn't physically ill at all. She was just depressed.
It's chilling that the state would agree to such a request. But that's the sort of scenario we could easily see here. It'll be like a dystopian inversion of the Samaritans. If you tell the Samaritans that you're so depressed you want to die, its staff will do everything they can to dissuade you. But if you tell the state that you're so depressed you want to die, it'll say: 'Certainly, we'll book you straight in. Can you do Tuesday, 10 past three?'
'Way of the World' is a twice-weekly satirical look at the headlines while aiming to mock the absurdities of the modern world. It is published at 6am every Tuesday and Saturday
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