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When the ideal isn't real: What's cognitive dissonance and how to tackle it?
When the ideal isn't real: What's cognitive dissonance and how to tackle it?

Khaleej Times

time19 hours ago

  • General
  • Khaleej Times

When the ideal isn't real: What's cognitive dissonance and how to tackle it?

Amara* had always associated success with stability – the kind rooted in a familiar neighbourhood and a fulfilling career, all within the close-knit community she grew up in. As the daughter of Caribbean immigrants who built a modest, middle-class life in the US, she was raised to believe that education was the surest path to that success. So with her parents' support, she earned degrees from Stanford University and the University of Michigan, and seemed firmly on track to create the life she had long envisioned for herself. But now, seven years into her expat journey in Qatar, her reality looks very different. 'I really figured that by this age I would be living in a nice gated community in the US, balancing raising my kids with a fulfilling career at a multinational company, surrounded by the friends and family that I grew up with,' said Amara, 38. 'I never dreamed of living so far away from home, and being just a stay-at-home mum.' Her move to Doha in 2018 to be with her husband marked a detour that, over time, began to feel like a derailment. 'For my first job in Qatar, I opted to take what felt like a step backwards in order to move my marriage and my family forward. Looking back, I think that this step moved me further away from achieving my imagined reality than I could have thought,' she reflected. A mismatch Amara's experience is far from unique. According to Vinita Mane, a CDA-licensed therapist and faculty leader at Westford University College in Sharjah, 'Cognitive dissonance, in this context, occurs when there's a mismatch between the ideal life one envisioned and the reality of daily struggles, lack of employment or job insecurity, and multitasking between roles that may not align with one's skills or specialisation.' This inner tension can have far-reaching effects. 'It can cause emotional distress, strained relationships, and sometimes the development of maladaptive behaviours or coping mechanisms,' Mane explained. For Amara, the dissonance became most palpable after the birth of her second child. 'I knew that going back to work at the time wasn't going to be my reality. And from there I watched my unemployment gap widen and widen,' she said. 'Now, with three kids, I feel less and less confident that I will be able to seamlessly re-enter the workforce and do the things I once wanted to do professionally.' Distance from home and a lack of support system only magnified Amara's feelings of dissonance. 'I believe that having community that you can lean on for help and that you can be vulnerable with in times of challenge are so important,' she said. 'Now I am in a place that can feel very lonely. Folks come and go frequently so it can feel emotionally draining to invest in relationships only to see them end abruptly and unexpectedly.' Expatriates like Amara, whether in the Gulf or elsewhere, arrive with many expectations. They then face difficult choices: to assimilate, integrate, or separate from the dominant culture. 'One of humanity's greatest strengths is adaptability. We possess the ability to learn, evolve, and integrate into new environments. Those who embrace change with openness and curiosity are more likely to manage dissonance effectively,' Mane explained. 'One's emotional and psychological well-being – and even physical health – can be directly impacted by the inability to adapt, especially when individuals cling too tightly to their original expectations instead of adjusting to their current reality.' For a long time, Amara experienced what she described as a persistent, heavy emotional state marked by deep sadness. This stemmed from unmet expectations and the loss of the life she had once envisioned – one that included a career, financial autonomy, and a rooted sense of home. Seeking help Through therapy, she began to process that grief, giving herself permission to feel disappointment while working to reshape her goals within her current reality. Amara has learned that acknowledgment is key. 'I've worked hard not to brush away my feelings but to name them, to understand what is driving them and to affirm that not having been able to build that life that I wanted does not make me less valuable or less competent or less worthy of love and appreciation and admiration.' Therapy has encouraged her to re-frame success and find new meaning. 'I've been able to dig deep to identify my core values and how my prior goals aligned with them. Moving forward, I'm working on creating new goals based on those core values, but within my current context.' In addition to this type of work, Mane recommends cognitive restructuring: a therapeutic technique that challenges negative or irrational thought patterns and helps to develop a growth mindset. 'A psychologist can guide you through this journey, helping you better understand your emotions, build resilience, and develop healthier ways of thinking.' Today, Amara's expat experience is deeply intentional. 'Cultivating gratitude and grace are things that have taken me a long way in managing the discomfort that comes along with the dissonance. 'As I have begun to re-frame and redefine my goals, my expat experience has improved. I am able to see so much value in it and to have a lot of gratitude in it while still holding space for the fact that there are some aspects of it that I do not like.' She added, 'My goal is not to erase the dissonance but to claim it, and keep on re-envisioning my life day after day." Qatar

4 guidelines to start over your career later in life
4 guidelines to start over your career later in life

News24

time2 days ago

  • Business
  • News24

4 guidelines to start over your career later in life

Dire economic climates and the changing world of technology can force people to reevaluate their career paths. An expert advises bridging roles and targeting smaller organisations when looking for a new role. Take advantage of every professional contact you've made. ______________________________________________________________________ The rise of technological and artificial intelligence advancements has seen companies - and the world at large - change where a lifelong tenure at a single company is a thing of the past. Let's not sugar coat it, this evolving landscape is tough and requires sacrifice, but the good news is that it's possible to make a success of an entirely new career later in life. Advaita Naidoo, Africa MD at Jack Hammer, Africa's largest executive search firm, says, 'A non-linear career can be described as a work history that does not follow a single, continuous path within one field or role. It involves shifts, breaks, or transitions between unrelated industries or job types.' 'In the past, people would mostly stick to a relatively predictable path throughout their careers – moving steadily up the ladder in their chosen field, or branching out into proximate roles. In the last few years, however, this model has been turned on its head, for a variety of reasons including but not limited to the impact of the pandemic, global and local economic volatility, and the impact of AI.' Examples of people forced to develop a plan B later in life These include women re-entering the workforce after homemaking, workers retrenched because of technological disruption or plain old economic factors affecting their industries and athletes and sportspeople whose professional careers are dwindling. Struggling to see where you fit in the working world? Advaita advises four guidelines for non-linear career success: 1. Consider a bridging role A bridging role is a strategic stepping stone - a position that helps you transition into a new industry or function by starting at a foundational level. Look for entry or mid-level opportunities such as an operations or supply chain role in retail, or a project coordinator position in a commercial team, where you can learn the fundamentals, adapt to the new environment and gradually build your expertise. This approach enables you to gain industry knowledge, establish credibility and develop the skills needed for future advancement. 2. Make your case Whatever your circumstances and career history, you must be able to articulate your value with confidence. Advaita shares, 'When crafting your motivation, build a clear, logical narrative and arrive ready to sell yourself. Confidence is key. If you want a hiring manager to see how your non-linear path will add value, make sure you believe it first.' 3. Target smaller organisations Large corporations mostly have rigid hiring criteria and a large selection of applicants who tick every box. Smaller organisations such as startups, mid-sized firms or local businesses can be more flexible, offering a chance to shine. 'Smaller companies often need versatile players. Your tech background, for instance, might help a small healthcare firm digitise processes, while your growing commercial skills boost their sales,' says Advaita. 'Smaller environments are more likely to let you wear multiple hats and develop a wider range of skills. So take time to research local or niche firms in your target industry, and apply for roles where your diverse and transferable skills will add immediate value.' 4. Make your contacts count Your personal and professional network is a powerful tool to bypass the barriers of a non-linear career, Advaita explains. 'Hiring managers and automated systems often filter out resumes that don't fit conventional patterns, but a trusted contact can open doors. Reach out to former colleagues, managers or clients who can vouch for your skills, work ethic, and adaptability. For instance, if you worked in manufacturing and a past coworker now thrives in financial services, ask them to recommend you or introduce you to key players.' Advaita concludes, 'Join professional organisations, attend industry events, join online forums (e.g. LinkedIn groups for healthcare or finance professionals) or participate in workshops to meet people in your target field. A personal endorsement carries significant weight and contacts humanise your story, turning a 'risky' non-linear resume into a compelling case for hiring.'

James Cummings to join Hong Kong training ranks: ‘It's a sliding doors moment for me'
James Cummings to join Hong Kong training ranks: ‘It's a sliding doors moment for me'

South China Morning Post

time11-06-2025

  • Business
  • South China Morning Post

James Cummings to join Hong Kong training ranks: ‘It's a sliding doors moment for me'

James Cummings has labelled his dramatic career shift 'a sliding doors moment' after being unveiled as Hong Kong's newest trainer at Sha Tin on Wednesday morning. In a coup for the Jockey Club, Cummings – who will finish up as Godolphin's private trainer in Australia next month – will join the roster for the 2026-27 Hong Kong season. 'Hong Kong is something of a Holy Grail for a young horse trainer in Australia to imagine receiving an invitation [to train in],' said Cummings. 'It's a sliding doors moment for me – the conclusion of my contract at Godolphin and the decision to go out on my own, which a few months ago I was fully committed to doing. 'But when the Hong Kong Jockey Club reached out, I felt like the timing was right because it gives me the opportunity to get some certainty into the future. James Cummings (left) and Jockey Club official Andew Harding chat to the press at Sha Tin on Wednesday morning. 'The focus on the horses and the investment in facilities here is a very strong pulling factor to the decision. It will be a great stage in my career. 'Out of respect of my staff and owners, who have already been very supportive, I think this gives everyone certainty and everyone can plan for the best,' added Cummings of the early announcement of his Hong Kong move. HK Racing News Get updates direct to your inbox Sign up Best Bets Racing News By registering you agree to our T&Cs & Privacy Policy Error: Please enter a valid email. The email address is already in use. Please login to subscribe. Error, please try again later. THANK YOU You are one the list. While Cummings is looking forward to testing himself in the cutthroat Hong Kong racing cauldron, he's also excited about what the move will mean for his family. 'For me on a personal note, I've got four children under 10. Speaking to the Hong Kong Jockey Club, I really felt like it was now or never for me,' said the 37-year-old. 'This is a great age for them. They're excited about the adventure that we can really take on as a family and I'm excited for them because it gives them a world view. As a family, we are very excited about making that change.' Grandson of the legendary Bart Cummings, James will finish up as Godolphin's private trainer on July 31 and had applied to take over the Leilani Lodge stables at Randwick in Sydney which are synonymous with the famed Cummings family. GET EXCITED! 😏@JamesCummings88 will commence training in Hong Kong at the beginning of the 2026/27 season... 🤝#LoveRacing | #HKracing — HKJC Racing (@HKJC_Racing) June 11, 2025 Instead, the 52-time Group One winner will have over 12 months to get himself ready to make a splash in Hong Kong. 'I feel like time is on my side. I've met some Hong Kong owners over my time and what I like is that I've got plenty of time between now and when I begin next year to get to know many more,' he said. 'That will come and that time will be well spent. The preparation is part of an overall strategy that we were quite comfortable with and I look forward to meeting more members of the club and those associated with the entire jurisdiction. 'I do like that I've got that time to get myself organised, get set, have a chance to refresh since the busy time in the last little while and over the last eight years training privately for Godolphin. That's something I can hone in on in the next period of time.' While building new relationships will be key for Cummings, he'll also be leaning on existing ones with the likes of Hugh Bowman, Brenton Avdulla and Zac Purton. 'I've got friends here who are in the jockeys' ranks. I can reach out to those friends and I have met some of the trainers along the way. There's going to be a great opportunity for me to lean on those who are familiar faces to me,' he said.

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