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CNN
08-06-2025
- Health
- CNN
The science of sleep paralysis, a brain-body glitch making people see demons and witches
Sign up for CNN's Sleep, But Better newsletter series. Our seven-part guide has helpful hints to achieve better sleep. Baland Jalal lay in bed terrified, experiencing his own real-life horror film. Newly awake, the 19-year-old could see his surroundings but couldn't move or speak, and he didn't know why. He thought, ''My God, what do I do?'' Jalal, now 39, said of that moment in 2005. 'I tried to call my mom (and) dad, but no words would emerge from my throat. … I had this ominous presence of a monster, and it lifted my legs up and down. 'It strangled me, trying to kill me. And I was 100% sure that I was going to die,' Jalal added. 'It literally feels like all the evil of the universe is condensed into a bubble, and it's in your bedroom.' This type of hallucination is a hallmark for many people with sleep paralysis. It occurs during transitions into or out of rapid eye movement, or REM, sleep, similar to a traffic jam at a busy intersection — your brain, awake and alert, and body, still asleep and immobilized, collide momentarily, said Dr. Matthew P. Walker, director of the Center for Human Sleep Science at the University of California, Berkeley, via email. Following deep sleep, REM sleep is the next critical phase of sleep cycles, characterized by more dreaming that's also extra vivid and lifelike, and by faster heart rate and breathing. It's essential for memory, concentration, mood regulation and immune function. Jalal's experiences propelled him to study this phenomenon around the world. He aimed to discover the cause of sleep paralysis, he said, and why some people with the diagnosis 'have these powerful encounters where it feels like evil of epic proportions.' He has since earned a doctorate in psychiatry and is now a researcher in Harvard University's psychology department and a leading expert on sleep paralysis. He also treats patients struggling with it. An estimated 30% of people worldwide experience at least one episode of sleep paralysis in their lifetime, according to the Cleveland Clinic. How many of those people have recurring and impairing sleep paralysis isn't clear, but the percentage is likely low, Jalal said. Here's what else you should know about sleep paralysis and how it can be managed. In REM sleep, our bodies are paralyzed so we don't act out our dreams and risk hurting ourselves or others, Jalal said. Sleep paralysis episodes are usually only a few minutes long but can last up to 20 minutes, according to the Cleveland Clinic. During sleep paralysis, however, 'we regain consciousness before the muscles regain their freedom from REM-induced paralysis,' said Walker, who is also a professor of neuroscience and psychology at the University of California, Berkeley About 40% of people with sleep paralysis have visual, auditory or tactile hallucinations, such as pressure on one's chest or feeling out of body, Jalal said. For about 90% of those individuals, the illusions are terrifying. They can include ghosts or cat- or alien-like creatures, and their actions can be as innocuous as simply approaching them or as nefarious as molesting or trying to kill them. In Jalal's academic travels, he discovered the contents and interpretations of hallucinations, views on what causes sleep paralysis, and episode frequency and duration can all also have a cultural basis. People living in Egypt and Italy, for example, would often see witches and evil genies, hold them responsible and think they could die from sleep paralysis, Jalal said. People in Denmark, Poland and parts of the United States, on the other hand, have less supernatural or exotic explanations and less fear. 'Why do we see these monsters? Is it the dreaming imagery … that's spilling over into conscious awareness?' Jalal said. 'My answer to that is, according to my research, no, not exactly. But it's part of it.' When you're aware yet paralyzed and confused, your natural reaction is to escape that situation. Your brain is bombarding your body with signals to move, but your body can't return any feedback. Jalal's theory, in short, is that your brain says, 'to hell with it' and concocts a story it thinks your body must be facing to be experiencing such bizarre symptoms. The reduced activity in your prefrontal cortex — responsible for reason and logic — also contributes to hallucinations becoming 'extremely realistic and emotionally charged, amplified by an overly active amygdala, the brain's emotional alarm center,' Walker said. Though scientists know that wake-sleep glitch is what's happening during a sleep paralysis episode, they're not entirely sure why. But there are several factors that can increase the risk of fragmented sleep and sleep paralysis. Those factors include stress and related conditions such as anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder and panic disorder, experts said. Much of Jalal's sleep paralysis occurred when he was in school. Now when he has an episode once or twice per year, it's usually during a high-stress period, he said. (Once you've experienced sleep paralysis, you can be conscious of that during an episode but still feel afraid.) Other common contributors are sleep deprivation, jet lag, an irregular sleep schedule, sleep disorders such as narcolepsy, and genetic factors, Walker and Jalal said. Obstructive sleep apnea, substance use disorder and some medications — such as those for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder — can also raise risk, according to the Cleveland Clinic. As scary as sleep paralysis may sound, it's not actually dangerous, experts said. But depending on how recurring it is, sleep paralysis can be a sign of an underlying sleep disorder, Jalal said. Regular episodes can also lead to anxiety around sleep and then avoidance of sleep, Jalal said. This pattern can interfere with your daily energy and ability to function. And if you often have frightening hallucinations, that can lead to anxiety or trauma-like symptoms. Sleep paralysis can be significantly alleviated with several practices or treatments, Walker said — starting with healthy sleep habits, for one. That includes seven to nine hours of restful sleep nightly. Maintaining a sleep schedule consistent in quality and quantity 'acts like tuning your internal clock, reducing the chance of disruptive wake-sleep overlaps — much like ensuring all parts of an orchestra are synchronized for perfect harmony,' Walker said. Also prioritize stress management, by using, for example, mindfulness and relaxation exercises, Walker said. Therapies can relieve certain underlying issues triggering sleep paralysis, including cognitive behavioral therapy, especially the version for people with insomnia. In more serious situations, medications are sometimes used, Walker said. Those include SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) or tricyclic antidepressants that can help manage a smooth flow between sleep stages or even reduce the REM phase of sleep. Generally, boosting the brain's serotonin levels somehow compensates for the loss of the REM phase, Jalal said. But rarely, long-term antidepressant use has been linked with REM sleep behavior disorder. While the aforementioned treatments can help reduce the frequency or length of sleep paralysis episodes, there isn't yet a gold-standard treatment that can stop an episode once it's happening. Jalal has been trying to officially create one over the past decade, though, and it's self-inspired. Called meditation relaxation therapy, the treatment reduced sleep paralysis by 50% after eight weeks for six people with narcolepsy, compared with a control group of four participants, found a small pilot study Jalal published in 2020. He currently has another study of the same treatment with more participants underway at Harvard. And the steps of Jalal's therapy are as follows: Cognitively reappraise the meaning of the attack. Close your eyes and remind yourself that your experience is common and you won't die from it. Emotionally distance yourself from it. Tell yourself that since your brain is just playing tricks on you, there's no reason for you to be scared or risk the situation getting worse because of your own negative expectations. Focus on something positive. Whether it's praying or imagining a loved one's face, this refocusing can make thoughts more pleasant rather than monstrous. Relax your muscles and don't move. Some experts say trying to slightly move your fingers or toes one by one may help you come out of an episode sooner. But Jalal's fourth step advises against this movement since you'd still be sending signals to paralyzed muscles and maybe triggering hallucinations. Viewing your own biology in a more objective way by learning more about the scientific basis of sleep paralysis is also helpful, Jalal said.
CNN
08-06-2025
- Health
- CNN
The science of sleep paralysis, a brain-body glitch making people see demons and witches
Sign up for CNN's Sleep, But Better newsletter series. Our seven-part guide has helpful hints to achieve better sleep. Baland Jalal lay in bed terrified, experiencing his own real-life horror film. Newly awake, the 19-year-old could see his surroundings but couldn't move or speak, and he didn't know why. He thought, ''My God, what do I do?'' Jalal, now 39, said of that moment in 2005. 'I tried to call my mom (and) dad, but no words would emerge from my throat. … I had this ominous presence of a monster, and it lifted my legs up and down. 'It strangled me, trying to kill me. And I was 100% sure that I was going to die,' Jalal added. 'It literally feels like all the evil of the universe is condensed into a bubble, and it's in your bedroom.' This type of hallucination is a hallmark for many people with sleep paralysis. It occurs during transitions into or out of rapid eye movement, or REM, sleep, similar to a traffic jam at a busy intersection — your brain, awake and alert, and body, still asleep and immobilized, collide momentarily, said Dr. Matthew P. Walker, director of the Center for Human Sleep Science at the University of California, Berkeley, via email. Following deep sleep, REM sleep is the next critical phase of sleep cycles, characterized by more dreaming that's also extra vivid and lifelike, and by faster heart rate and breathing. It's essential for memory, concentration, mood regulation and immune function. Jalal's experiences propelled him to study this phenomenon around the world. He aimed to discover the cause of sleep paralysis, he said, and why some people with the diagnosis 'have these powerful encounters where it feels like evil of epic proportions.' He has since earned a doctorate in psychiatry and is now a researcher in Harvard University's psychology department and a leading expert on sleep paralysis. He also treats patients struggling with it. An estimated 30% of people worldwide experience at least one episode of sleep paralysis in their lifetime, according to the Cleveland Clinic. How many of those people have recurring and impairing sleep paralysis isn't clear, but the percentage is likely low, Jalal said. Here's what else you should know about sleep paralysis and how it can be managed. In REM sleep, our bodies are paralyzed so we don't act out our dreams and risk hurting ourselves or others, Jalal said. Sleep paralysis episodes are usually only a few minutes long but can last up to 20 minutes, according to the Cleveland Clinic. During sleep paralysis, however, 'we regain consciousness before the muscles regain their freedom from REM-induced paralysis,' said Walker, who is also a professor of neuroscience and psychology at the University of California, Berkeley About 40% of people with sleep paralysis have visual, auditory or tactile hallucinations, such as pressure on one's chest or feeling out of body, Jalal said. For about 90% of those individuals, the illusions are terrifying. They can include ghosts or cat- or alien-like creatures, and their actions can be as innocuous as simply approaching them or as nefarious as molesting or trying to kill them. In Jalal's academic travels, he discovered the contents and interpretations of hallucinations, views on what causes sleep paralysis, and episode frequency and duration can all also have a cultural basis. People living in Egypt and Italy, for example, would often see witches and evil genies, hold them responsible and think they could die from sleep paralysis, Jalal said. People in Denmark, Poland and parts of the United States, on the other hand, have less supernatural or exotic explanations and less fear. 'Why do we see these monsters? Is it the dreaming imagery … that's spilling over into conscious awareness?' Jalal said. 'My answer to that is, according to my research, no, not exactly. But it's part of it.' When you're aware yet paralyzed and confused, your natural reaction is to escape that situation. Your brain is bombarding your body with signals to move, but your body can't return any feedback. Jalal's theory, in short, is that your brain says, 'to hell with it' and concocts a story it thinks your body must be facing to be experiencing such bizarre symptoms. The reduced activity in your prefrontal cortex — responsible for reason and logic — also contributes to hallucinations becoming 'extremely realistic and emotionally charged, amplified by an overly active amygdala, the brain's emotional alarm center,' Walker said. Though scientists know that wake-sleep glitch is what's happening during a sleep paralysis episode, they're not entirely sure why. But there are several factors that can increase the risk of fragmented sleep and sleep paralysis. Those factors include stress and related conditions such as anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder and panic disorder, experts said. Much of Jalal's sleep paralysis occurred when he was in school. Now when he has an episode once or twice per year, it's usually during a high-stress period, he said. (Once you've experienced sleep paralysis, you can be conscious of that during an episode but still feel afraid.) Other common contributors are sleep deprivation, jet lag, an irregular sleep schedule, sleep disorders such as narcolepsy, and genetic factors, Walker and Jalal said. Obstructive sleep apnea, substance use disorder and some medications — such as those for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder — can also raise risk, according to the Cleveland Clinic. As scary as sleep paralysis may sound, it's not actually dangerous, experts said. But depending on how recurring it is, sleep paralysis can be a sign of an underlying sleep disorder, Jalal said. Regular episodes can also lead to anxiety around sleep and then avoidance of sleep, Jalal said. This pattern can interfere with your daily energy and ability to function. And if you often have frightening hallucinations, that can lead to anxiety or trauma-like symptoms. Sleep paralysis can be significantly alleviated with several practices or treatments, Walker said — starting with healthy sleep habits, for one. That includes seven to nine hours of restful sleep nightly. Maintaining a sleep schedule consistent in quality and quantity 'acts like tuning your internal clock, reducing the chance of disruptive wake-sleep overlaps — much like ensuring all parts of an orchestra are synchronized for perfect harmony,' Walker said. Also prioritize stress management, by using, for example, mindfulness and relaxation exercises, Walker said. Therapies can relieve certain underlying issues triggering sleep paralysis, including cognitive behavioral therapy, especially the version for people with insomnia. In more serious situations, medications are sometimes used, Walker said. Those include SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) or tricyclic antidepressants that can help manage a smooth flow between sleep stages or even reduce the REM phase of sleep. Generally, boosting the brain's serotonin levels somehow compensates for the loss of the REM phase, Jalal said. But rarely, long-term antidepressant use has been linked with REM sleep behavior disorder. While the aforementioned treatments can help reduce the frequency or length of sleep paralysis episodes, there isn't yet a gold-standard treatment that can stop an episode once it's happening. Jalal has been trying to officially create one over the past decade, though, and it's self-inspired. Called meditation relaxation therapy, the treatment reduced sleep paralysis by 50% after eight weeks for six people with narcolepsy, compared with a control group of four participants, found a small pilot study Jalal published in 2020. He currently has another study of the same treatment with more participants underway at Harvard. And the steps of Jalal's therapy are as follows: Cognitively reappraise the meaning of the attack. Close your eyes and remind yourself that your experience is common and you won't die from it. Emotionally distance yourself from it. Tell yourself that since your brain is just playing tricks on you, there's no reason for you to be scared or risk the situation getting worse because of your own negative expectations. Focus on something positive. Whether it's praying or imagining a loved one's face, this refocusing can make thoughts more pleasant rather than monstrous. Relax your muscles and don't move. Some experts say trying to slightly move your fingers or toes one by one may help you come out of an episode sooner. But Jalal's fourth step advises against this movement since you'd still be sending signals to paralyzed muscles and maybe triggering hallucinations. Viewing your own biology in a more objective way by learning more about the scientific basis of sleep paralysis is also helpful, Jalal said.
CNN
08-06-2025
- Health
- CNN
The science of sleep paralysis, a brain-body glitch making people see demons and witches
Sign up for CNN's Sleep, But Better newsletter series. Our seven-part guide has helpful hints to achieve better sleep. Baland Jalal lay in bed terrified, experiencing his own real-life horror film. Newly awake, the 19-year-old could see his surroundings but couldn't move or speak, and he didn't know why. He thought, ''My God, what do I do?'' Jalal, now 39, said of that moment in 2005. 'I tried to call my mom (and) dad, but no words would emerge from my throat. … I had this ominous presence of a monster, and it lifted my legs up and down. 'It strangled me, trying to kill me. And I was 100% sure that I was going to die,' Jalal added. 'It literally feels like all the evil of the universe is condensed into a bubble, and it's in your bedroom.' This type of hallucination is a hallmark for many people with sleep paralysis. It occurs during transitions into or out of rapid eye movement, or REM, sleep, similar to a traffic jam at a busy intersection — your brain, awake and alert, and body, still asleep and immobilized, collide momentarily, said Dr. Matthew P. Walker, director of the Center for Human Sleep Science at the University of California, Berkeley, via email. Following deep sleep, REM sleep is the next critical phase of sleep cycles, characterized by more dreaming that's also extra vivid and lifelike, and by faster heart rate and breathing. It's essential for memory, concentration, mood regulation and immune function. Jalal's experiences propelled him to study this phenomenon around the world. He aimed to discover the cause of sleep paralysis, he said, and why some people with the diagnosis 'have these powerful encounters where it feels like evil of epic proportions.' He has since earned a doctorate in psychiatry and is now a researcher in Harvard University's psychology department and a leading expert on sleep paralysis. He also treats patients struggling with it. An estimated 30% of people worldwide experience at least one episode of sleep paralysis in their lifetime, according to the Cleveland Clinic. How many of those people have recurring and impairing sleep paralysis isn't clear, but the percentage is likely low, Jalal said. Here's what else you should know about sleep paralysis and how it can be managed. In REM sleep, our bodies are paralyzed so we don't act out our dreams and risk hurting ourselves or others, Jalal said. Sleep paralysis episodes are usually only a few minutes long but can last up to 20 minutes, according to the Cleveland Clinic. During sleep paralysis, however, 'we regain consciousness before the muscles regain their freedom from REM-induced paralysis,' said Walker, who is also a professor of neuroscience and psychology at the University of California, Berkeley About 40% of people with sleep paralysis have visual, auditory or tactile hallucinations, such as pressure on one's chest or feeling out of body, Jalal said. For about 90% of those individuals, the illusions are terrifying. They can include ghosts or cat- or alien-like creatures, and their actions can be as innocuous as simply approaching them or as nefarious as molesting or trying to kill them. In Jalal's academic travels, he discovered the contents and interpretations of hallucinations, views on what causes sleep paralysis, and episode frequency and duration can all also have a cultural basis. People living in Egypt and Italy, for example, would often see witches and evil genies, hold them responsible and think they could die from sleep paralysis, Jalal said. People in Denmark, Poland and parts of the United States, on the other hand, have less supernatural or exotic explanations and less fear. 'Why do we see these monsters? Is it the dreaming imagery … that's spilling over into conscious awareness?' Jalal said. 'My answer to that is, according to my research, no, not exactly. But it's part of it.' When you're aware yet paralyzed and confused, your natural reaction is to escape that situation. Your brain is bombarding your body with signals to move, but your body can't return any feedback. Jalal's theory, in short, is that your brain says, 'to hell with it' and concocts a story it thinks your body must be facing to be experiencing such bizarre symptoms. The reduced activity in your prefrontal cortex — responsible for reason and logic — also contributes to hallucinations becoming 'extremely realistic and emotionally charged, amplified by an overly active amygdala, the brain's emotional alarm center,' Walker said. Though scientists know that wake-sleep glitch is what's happening during a sleep paralysis episode, they're not entirely sure why. But there are several factors that can increase the risk of fragmented sleep and sleep paralysis. Those factors include stress and related conditions such as anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder and panic disorder, experts said. Much of Jalal's sleep paralysis occurred when he was in school. Now when he has an episode once or twice per year, it's usually during a high-stress period, he said. (Once you've experienced sleep paralysis, you can be conscious of that during an episode but still feel afraid.) Other common contributors are sleep deprivation, jet lag, an irregular sleep schedule, sleep disorders such as narcolepsy, and genetic factors, Walker and Jalal said. Obstructive sleep apnea, substance use disorder and some medications — such as those for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder — can also raise risk, according to the Cleveland Clinic. As scary as sleep paralysis may sound, it's not actually dangerous, experts said. But depending on how recurring it is, sleep paralysis can be a sign of an underlying sleep disorder, Jalal said. Regular episodes can also lead to anxiety around sleep and then avoidance of sleep, Jalal said. This pattern can interfere with your daily energy and ability to function. And if you often have frightening hallucinations, that can lead to anxiety or trauma-like symptoms. Sleep paralysis can be significantly alleviated with several practices or treatments, Walker said — starting with healthy sleep habits, for one. That includes seven to nine hours of restful sleep nightly. Maintaining a sleep schedule consistent in quality and quantity 'acts like tuning your internal clock, reducing the chance of disruptive wake-sleep overlaps — much like ensuring all parts of an orchestra are synchronized for perfect harmony,' Walker said. Also prioritize stress management, by using, for example, mindfulness and relaxation exercises, Walker said. Therapies can relieve certain underlying issues triggering sleep paralysis, including cognitive behavioral therapy, especially the version for people with insomnia. In more serious situations, medications are sometimes used, Walker said. Those include SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) or tricyclic antidepressants that can help manage a smooth flow between sleep stages or even reduce the REM phase of sleep. Generally, boosting the brain's serotonin levels somehow compensates for the loss of the REM phase, Jalal said. But rarely, long-term antidepressant use has been linked with REM sleep behavior disorder. While the aforementioned treatments can help reduce the frequency or length of sleep paralysis episodes, there isn't yet a gold-standard treatment that can stop an episode once it's happening. Jalal has been trying to officially create one over the past decade, though, and it's self-inspired. Called meditation relaxation therapy, the treatment reduced sleep paralysis by 50% after eight weeks for six people with narcolepsy, compared with a control group of four participants, found a small pilot study Jalal published in 2020. He currently has another study of the same treatment with more participants underway at Harvard. And the steps of Jalal's therapy are as follows: Cognitively reappraise the meaning of the attack. Close your eyes and remind yourself that your experience is common and you won't die from it. Emotionally distance yourself from it. Tell yourself that since your brain is just playing tricks on you, there's no reason for you to be scared or risk the situation getting worse because of your own negative expectations. Focus on something positive. Whether it's praying or imagining a loved one's face, this refocusing can make thoughts more pleasant rather than monstrous. Relax your muscles and don't move. Some experts say trying to slightly move your fingers or toes one by one may help you come out of an episode sooner. But Jalal's fourth step advises against this movement since you'd still be sending signals to paralyzed muscles and maybe triggering hallucinations. Viewing your own biology in a more objective way by learning more about the scientific basis of sleep paralysis is also helpful, Jalal said.
CNN
16-05-2025
- Health
- CNN
When going to bed angry at your partner is OK
Sign up for CNN's Sleep, But Better newsletter series. Our seven-part guide has helpful hints to achieve better sleep. Arguments often feel urgent no matter what's going on for some of the couples Dr. Samantha Rodman sees in her practice as a clinical psychologist in Potomac, Maryland. This desire to resolve a conflict before heading to bed is particularly common for clients who grew up in a house where family members fought nonstop, said Rodman, author of '52 E-Mails to Transform Your Marriage: How to Reignite Intimacy and Rebuild Your Relationship.' 'It doesn't really occur to you to just shelve it and go to sleep.' For others, the tendency is because of the age-old adage that you should never go to bed angry — which sometimes comes from 'the belief that unresolved anger can fester overnight, leading to deeper resentment,' said Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist in New York City, via email. 'Its wisdom is likely to be rooted in the idea that resolution to arguments is essential for maintaining harmony and preventing even more emotional distance,' Romanoff said. 'Historically, it's a call for connection and prioritizing the relationship over lingering negativity.' Others' resistance to dropping an argument for the night may stem from self-comparison or toxic positivity, Rodman said — which can lead you to think you should be able to quickly discuss things with your partner, apologize, resolve the issue and happily call it a night. There's also the concern — sometimes in hindsight — about what may happen if you let your partner go about their next day with that lingering resentment between you two or without having said I love you. All considered, never going to bed angry sounds like a good rule to live by. But it isn't always useful, Romanoff said. 'Its rigidity can overlook individual needs, rest and perspective,' Romanoff said. 'Applying this convention without discretion can actually be detrimental to your relationship.' Putting an argument on pause and going to sleep upset is a skill you can practice, Rodman said. Here's how to do it and still keep your relationship intact. Delaying sleep to resolve an argument can backfire for several reasons. When you're exhausted, you're less inhibited and thus have less control of your emotions, so you're more impulsive and likely to say or do things you don't mean and will later regret, experts said. Your problem-solving, listening and reasoning skills, which are all necessary for effective communication, can take a hit too, especially if you're really worked up. Those factors, as well as being under the influence, can further exacerbate the problem, Rodman said. A good night's rest, however, can completely reset the brain. Sleep 'reduces your brain's reactivity to negative stimuli — or perceived negative stimuli — helps process emotions and restores your ability to approach problems rationally,' Romanoff said. 'A well-rested brain is better equipped to engage in thoughtful, respectful communication.' Sometimes, what you were arguing about will no longer seem important the next day. For whatever concerns that remain, though, you'll be more able to express them in a way that's less emotional or defensive and, ultimately, better for the relationship. Except on the rare occasions when something important and relevant to the conflict is about to happen late at night, Romanoff said all arguments should wait until the next day. Let's say you want to go to sleep but are struggling because the issue feels urgent, you're lying awake ruminating while your partner is sleeping soundly, or you're worried something bad might happen. These feelings could stem from 'attachment panic,' Rodman said. That's the fear that your attachment figure or closest relationship, typically your parents in childhood or your partner in adulthood, isn't there for you or doesn't love you. 'That's very evolutionarily motivated to try to get back to a state where you feel secure in the relationship,' Rodman added. In many of these cases, people feel the only way to manage their anxiety is to immediately try to repair things. But when you're worked up and tired, conversations with your partner won't go as well as when you're calm and rested. In fact, these conversations may even lead to a situation that heightens your anxiety. Regardless of why you just can't let it go, there are things you can do to settle down enough to get restful sleep. In some relationships, one person wants to discuss conflict more than the other, Rodman said. That person may worry that if the conversation doesn't happen right away, it never will — meaning the issue will never be resolved and the security and connection in the relationship will never be restored. That's why experts said it's critical for couples to commit to a time and place to follow up as soon as it's reasonably possible and when you're both in a better state of mind. Anticipating that things will be resolved soon can help calm you enough to sleep. Couples can also try to maintain any bedtime rituals that reinforce the foundation of the relationship, such as saying 'I love you,' cuddling or kissing each other good night, Romanoff said. Still engaging in these rituals communicates that your commitment to each other is more important than your current disagreement, offering reassurance without dismissing the conflict and balancing your immediate emotional security with the need for sleep, Romanoff said. Emotions are generally fleeting, but your commitment to, and care for, your partner likely aren't. You can even say all these things. If you're reading this tip and thinking, 'If I'm mad, there's no way I'm saying 'I love you,'' that stubbornness is part of what leads to frequent conflict, Romanoff said. 'The more you say, 'I can't learn new ways of engaging,' the less likely the relationship is to work out,' she added. 'In a healthy relationship, people are always learning new skills.' You don't have to do these things happily or romantically — a monotonous 'I love you' or a brief peck can still go a long way. It's not about denying your anger but about affirming the bond you share, Romanoff said. Self-regulating can also be important. You could try meditating, journaling, doing breathing exercises or distracting yourself by taking a quick shower or immersing your hands in cold water, Rodman said. Ask yourself, 'How can I handle things in a way that will make my future self proud? How can I care for myself as a parent would care for a child who's upset?' Learning how to soothe yourself 'is the real deep work that many people do with anxious attachment, especially in therapy,' Rodman said. Whenever you do have that follow-up conversation with your partner, remember that although arguments are inevitable, how you handle them defines your relationship and sometimes your sleep health, Romanoff said. 'Treat conflicts as opportunities to grow closer, not further apart,' Romanoff added. 'It's not about always maintaining a perfect relationship; it's about growing, learning and progressing through life together, even in the messy moments.'
Grazia USA
09-05-2025
- Health
- Grazia USA
This Simple Routine for Better Sleep Takes Just 3 Minutes
Photo Credit: Shutterstock Too tired to work out? That excuse might be valid—but what if just three minutes of light movement could help you sleep significantly better tonight? No sweat, no yoga mat, no need to change into workout clothes. Just a quick, equipment-free routine for better sleep you can do without leaving your living room. A new study out of the University of Otago in New Zealand, published in July 2024 in BMJ Open Sport & Exercise Medicine , reveals that doing short, low-intensity exercises in the evening may add an extra half hour of sleep each night. And yes, that's with just three-minute sets spaced every half hour. A Super-Simple Routine For Better Sleep The experiment involved about 30 people with two evening routines. In one, participants sat for four hours, resembling a typical TV evening. In the other, they took short exercise breaks every half hour. The results surprised researchers: after evenings with active breaks, participants slept 30 minutes longer. 'A lot of sleep recommendations warn against intense evening workouts,' said Jennifer Gale, the study's lead author. 'But low-intensity movement like this activates the body without disrupting sleep cues.' This approach is accessible: no spike in heart rate—just light muscle activation. The Exercise Sequence Recommended by Researchers The routine fits seamlessly into your evening. No need to leave the couch—get up during commercials or scene changes. Each session lasts three minutes, every half hour. Focus on these moves, targeting the legs and lower body: Chair squats Calf raises Standing knee lifts Straight-leg hip extensions Each is short, equipment-free, and can be done in your living room. 'These exercises require minimal space and won't interrupt your TV time,' researchers note. Plus, this activity helps lower blood sugar and fat levels after dinner—reducing glycemic spikes that hinder sleep. A Solution Tailored for Sedentary People This routine isn't designed for those who run or gym regularly, but for people who spend days in front of screens. 'The key is simply getting up and moving regularly,' researchers remind. This micro-routine signals your body that the day is winding down and relaxation is near. It's a reminder that better sleep doesn't always require an expensive mattress—sometimes, just a few steps between Netflix episodes can do the trick. **Cette routine express de 3 minutes peut améliorer votre sommeil dès ce soir** This article first appeared on – Author: Magali Régnier topics: health and wellness, Sleep
