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Hindustan Times
20 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Hindustan Times
Every romance movie tries to hack love. Here's why it doesn't work IRL
Romance movies will have you believe that love is a shiny, fragile thing that can be distilled down to one great metaphor. Think of your favourite romcom. You can probably recall the line that made it famous; the piece of wisdom that, the movie promises, will change everything we know about love. Let's call it, for lack of a better term, the Love Hack. Audiences measure their relationships against it. It shows up in Insta Reels and Reddit compilations of the best relationship advice of all time. Every generation has their own. And it's probably ruining more relationships than it saves. Because a Love Hack rarely works in the real world. And even the fictional world is starting to wise up. In To All The Boys I've Loved Before (2018), Lara Jean comes to realise that love isn't how it's described in the movies; 'it's better because it's real'. So, what is love? Oh, we're not offering a hack of our own. But here's what the movies get wrong. 'Love means never having to say you're sorry.' Love Story (1970) Excuse me, what? Anyone in a real relationship will tell you that you spend half of it apologising, and the other half being apologised to. In the movie, Ali MacGraw's character says it to Ryan O'Neal's character, after he apologises for his anger. Tsk tsk. That moment certainly needed an apology. And in subsequent interviews, MacGraw herself has disagreed with the line, calling it 'crock'. Couples fight; disagreement is part of love. Saying sorry means you're a grown-up, that you acknowledge the effect your words or actions have had on another person, regardless of intention. A whole generation of Love Story watchers skipped this. We don't have to. Cutting up fruit or moving onto the next topic as if nothing really happened just means you'll land up in couples' therapy later. 'When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.' When Harry Met Sally (1989) Sounds wholesome. But is this really a test of love? For Harry and Sally, who spend their adult lives crossing each other's paths without realising that they should be together, it's a neat little conclusion. For everyone else, not so much. Remember when Geet left her whole family behind in Jab We Met, and fled home to start a new life with Anshuman? Bad idea. Besides, research shows that taking your time and marrying later leads to better, longer-lasting relationships. Also, marriage? In this economy? Who are you, a 20-something influencer with generational wealth? 'I think I can really fall in love when I know everything about someone.' Before Sunrise (1995) You know we'd come for this line. In the movie, Celine tells Jesse that knowing the mundane things about a person makes you fall for them: 'The way he's going to part his hair, which shirt he's going to wear that day, knowing the exact story he'd tell in a given situation'. Celine, ma cheri, you've got it backwards. Leave the tedious detail for after. No point seeing someone drool in their sleep, get petty with relatives and leave dishes 'soaking' in the sink right from the start. Even in the most long-lasting relationship, it's good to not know everything about your partner. It keeps the mystery alive. 'Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without.' Meet Joe Black (1998) Oh dear! How to hate on Brad Pitt, in his prime, playing Death? This line, thankfully, comes from Anthony Hopkins's character, who believes that his daughter is settling for a tepid partner (and not Brad Pitt)! But this is a dangerous pop-culture myth. If your entire relationship feels like a burning, fiery dance of emotion, chances are it will combust soon. Slow-burn love – showing up when they're sick, doing the dishes, listening to the same stories for the 16th time – doesn't fuel summer blockbusters. But it's the real test. 'You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without.' P.S. I Love You (2007) First of all, this is confusing. Unpack it a bit and you'll realise that both mean the same thing – that the person you cannot live without is ultimately the person you should live with. But that takes learning too. Also, it reeks of co-dependent behaviour. The person you should first learn to live with is you. And if you can't live without someone, maybe you're not ready to be a fully functioning adult yet. The Four Question Theory: 'Is he kind? Can I tell him everything in my heart? Does he help me become the best version of myself? Can I imagine him as the father of my children?' The Life List (2025) Four hacks for the price of one. When the Sofia Carson starrer came out, there were reports of couples feeling dissatisfied with their own love stories. Some even broke up because their relationships didn't pass the four question test. (Maybe they were low-key looking for an excuse to quit). PR gimmicks aside, it's too much of a quick-fix. An entire relationship can't be summed up in four questions. And besides, the fourth one is hardly inclusive. What if you can't see him/her as the parent of your child because you don't want to have kids in the first place? From HT Brunch, June 21, 2025 Follow us on
Economist
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Economist
Can men and women be just friends?
'MEN AND women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.' This gloomy view, expressed by Harry in 'When Harry Met Sally', a romantic comedy released in 1989, is still widely shared. Turkey's state religious authority recently issued a more scolding version of it, to be read out in the country's 90,000 mosques: 'Friendships between men and women, which begin with thoughts of companionship or confiding in one another, drag people into the pit of adultery.'
Yahoo
13-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Soap Opera Star Jack Wagner Reveals Details From Wedding: 'It Was Just a Rock Fest!'
When it came time to curate the soundtrack for his recent wedding, Jack Wagner turned to his beautiful bride, who happens to be a singer and songwriter, for her expertise. 'As soon as we were married and coming back down the aisle, she chose that new Katy Perry song ('Lifetimes'),' the actor tells over Zoom and sings a few lines from the upbeat tune. It was an appropriate choice, Wagner says, since the song matches his wife Michelle Wolf's energy. 'Michelle's just this vibrant spark plug," he says. Beaming with pride, Wagner recalls that the uplifting song set the tone for their nuptials. 'That was just the energy of the whole day, with some very poignant moments as well as this whole celebration jam,' he says. 'That's the deal with her, which I think is important for me because it keeps me young.' The newlyweds tied the knot at Bel-Air Country Club in Los Angeles in front of 40 guests on May 18 and honored their religious faith with the help of a priest and several gospel readings. Several family members, including Wagner's son Peter and Wolf's daughter Ornella, spoke at the wedding, as did a few of the couple's friends, including actor Lori Loughlin and tennis player Mardy Fish. The newlyweds turned to the film 'When Harry Met Sally' for inspiration for their first dance and busted a move to the song 'It Had to Be You.' Afterwards, Wagner recalls, his wife urged the crowd to join in dancing. 'From that moment on, it was just a rock fest,' he says. Wolf, who Wagner describes as "an incredible singer," has worked with a wide array of artists throughout her career, including B.B. King, 'N Sync, James Ingram, Oleta Adams, Zucchero and many more. 'She's been singing since she was a girl and in bands. She toured with Rufus, she's got an R&B rock band up in Malibu and she's just a wonderful person," he says. After their "kick-ass celebration," the lovebirds traveled to Italy for a romantic honeymoon in the Amalfi Coast and Naples. Up next, Wagner filmed a story arc that marks his first time appearing on "The Bold and the Beautiful" since 2022. While reflecting on his relationship with Wolf, Wagner describes one of the reasons she "checks" all the right "boxes" for him. 'When you get older and you're in relationships, it's about problem-solving skills. When something comes up, how are you gonna deal with it? She has an amazing gift to let things go. She lets things go and me being the dramatic person, (she helps me) let it go,' he explains. In fact, the actor says this is his biggest piece of advice for all couples. 'I would suggest that to couples: the ability not to push things down, not to over-explode, but to actually be with it. That's the deeper work as human beings. Can I be with what's come up personally? Can I then have an adult conversation with it where the emotion's not driving it?" he says. Luckily for Wagner, Wolf is on the same page and he can't help but gush about "energetic, positive" personality. "We laugh a lot," he says. This article was originally published on
Yahoo
10-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Tense scene at Weinstein trial as alleged perv appears to have medical episode after accuser's defiant gesture
Harvey Weinstein's Manhattan sex crimes retrial took a dramatic turn Tuesday when the accused serial perv apparently suffered a medical episode — sparking a frenzy of court officers to tend to him. The bizarre moment came after a former actress who accused Weinstein, 73, of raping her defiantly stared down the disgraced Hollywood producer after leaving the witness stand and pointed a finger at her eye, demanding that he look at her. The startling 'look at me' gesture by Jessica Mann, 38, prompted Weinstein's high-powered defense attorney Arthur Aidala to argue for a mistrial to Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Curtis Farber. As Aidala contended that the trial should be tossed, Weinstein bizarrely made gurgling sounds — and two court officers quickly surrounded him. The wheelchair-bound Weinstein took a sip of water, bringing the brief episode to an end. Asked later if Weinstein had a medical episode, Aidala told The Post that the Miramax founder's already-poor health has been getting worse. 'The short answer is yes, but it was alleviated,' the attorney said. 'He's not doing well. The last two weeks there has been a marked difference in his physical appearance and his stamina. I don't know if its the cancer kicking in, but he's definitely suffering.' Mann's daring gesture came after she wrenchingly detailed to jurors, between sobs, an alleged rape by Weinstein at a Beverly Hills hotel. But the convicted sex pest could only shake his head in response, before he descended into gurgling. 'That's absolutely inappropriate behavior by her,' Aidala wailed to the judge. Prosecutors argued Mann's reaction didn't even come close to grounds for a mistrial — and Farber agreed, denying Aidala's bid. Mann later returned to the stand and continued to recount the alleged California hotel rape, which took place around the beginning of 2014, recounting for jurors how she had taken an hours-long shower afterward. 'I'm going to bury this so deep and I'm going to forget about this and move on with my life,' she said she told herself. Mann testified that she decided to 'keep going' to pursue her Hollywood dreams – and continued to have contact with the powerful Weinstein, which led to a consensual sexual relationship. She recounted that she faked orgasms to end uncomfortable sexual encounters with Weinstein. 'I'm not saying I performed her performance but I made noises,' she said, comparing her fake orgasms to that of Meg Ryan's character in an infamous scene from the 1989 romantic comedy 'When Harry Met Sally.' 'It was definitely not the best I ever had,' she added when Aidala asked if it was a lie. Mann's first day of testimony Monday saw her tearfully detail another alleged rape by Weinstein in a Midtown hotel. She testified that after the attack, she found an erection-inducing drug needle apparently used by Weinstein in a hotel room's garbage can with a puzzling label. 'I found on Google that it basically meant 'dead penis,' and you inject it and it can only be used a certain amount of times back to back over a certain time,' she told jurors. Weinstein is only charged in the Midtown alleged rape. He has pleaded not guilty to charges in his sex crimes retrial. Weinstein in 2022 was found guilty of one count of rape and two counts of sexual assault at a Los Angeles trial. He has appealed the conviction.
Yahoo
06-06-2025
- Yahoo
Love at first flight: can I find a date at the airport?
When John Nachlinger and Rafael Gavarrete accidentally collided with each other at the airport in Houston, Texas, 'it was like a Hallmark Christmas movie,' Nachlinger, 44, says. He was travelling from New York to a funeral, while 27-year-old Gavarrete was returning home to Honduras – and despite only speaking for a few minutes, they exchanged numbers and kept in touch. Over the next year, they met up around once a month, taking turns to travel between New York and Honduras. In November 2022, they got married, and moved together to Princeton, New Jersey. Air travel has long carried a certain mystique. From the pioneering days of aviation to the glamour of the jet age, it has captivated imaginations with its promise of adventure, freedom and possibility. Perhaps that's why pop culture casts airports as sites of grand romantic gestures. From When Harry Met Sally to Love Actually, they are often backdrops for unexpected meet-cutes and last-dash attempts for lovers to express their feelings. Nachlinger and Gavarrete's story may sound like the plot of a romcom, but data suggests airport entanglements may be a case of art mirroring life. A 2018 survey suggested that, on any given flight, two couples will meet for the first time. And a 2025 survey of 3,000 single Americans by found about a third of travellers reported flirting with a stranger at the airport, while 20% said they would alter their travel plans for someone they had just met. Meanwhile, thousands of TikTok #airportcrush videos document strangers locking eyes across departure lounges. The excitement of travel is very particular. It's a novelty, it's adventure, it's something new Why do we seem to be so open to romance while in transit? Psychologists point to the misattribution of arousal, a phenomenon where heightened emotions – such as stress, excitement and frustration – can be mistaken for attraction. Antonieta Contreras, a New York-based sex and trauma therapist, says: 'The excitement of travel is very particular. It's a novelty, it's adventure, it's something new. Combined with the anxiety of being on time or packing enough, the nervous system is very activated.' This heightened state can make us perceive those around us as more attractive than usual, especially when combined with the physical realities of air travel: being in close proximity with strangers, often from exotic places. There's also something liberating about the perspective air travel offers. Looking down at the world in miniature from an altitude of 35,000ft literally shifts our point of view: fleeting connections may loom larger in our heads, and the possibilities of life feel more numerous. Contreras suggests that conversations struck up in transit also have lower stakes: 'It feels that you can say whatever, and this person has no agenda in criticising or judging you. You may feel 'this person has really seen me' because there were no filters.' The same phenomenon may explain why people report being more likely to cry when viewing a movie in flight than on the ground. YouGov surveys in the UK suggest that most people would prefer to meet a partner in person despite, or perhaps because of, the dominance of dating apps. However, possibly due to the evolution towards phone-first dating culture, some people argue that 'meet-cutes are going extinct'. The social script for making in-person connections is weaker than ever, and many singletons can get stuck in a paradox: frustrated with online dating but too socially cautious or nervous to start conversations in real life. Could air travel be the antidote? Single, and with science on my side, I took a trip to my local airport in Melbourne, Australia, to find out. *** The morning of my experiment, I feel nervous. I rarely go into the world completely sober while actively seeking a romantic connection. I start my journey on the tram and, in the spirit of openness, ignore my phone and observe those around me instead. As if sensing my willingness to engage, a more-than-eligible bachelor strikes up a conversation and asks for my number. This is the first time this has happened to me in broad daylight in many years. Am I already giving off a different energy? Once at the airport, although I'm not travelling anywhere, I begin my experiment at check-in (in Australian airports you don't need a boarding pass to get through security). I can't usually relax until I've cleared security, and it seems others feel the same. Perched on a seat between rows of check-in desks for half an hour, I try to chat with strangers, but don't get past simple niceties with most. I hope for better luck after security. Retail scientists use the term happy hour to describe the time people spend in departure lounges before their flight. Studies show we are more impulsive and open to suggestions airside, a phenomenon that influenced the advent of luxury airport shopping. In the security line, I notice no one is using their phone. Air travel is one of few domains where our phone use is restricted at various points, forcing us to make eye contact with others. I recognise someone from the airport bus, and we share a knowing smile. Are things looking up? As airports go, Melbourne's isn't the most inspiring. Its grey interiors don't inspire connection and, once airside, my approaches feel forced. I settle with 'Where are you off to today?' A group of friends enjoying a pre-flight drink chime in with their tales of travel romances. 'The airport is its own world, closed off to the outside. There's less choice, so someone you may not find that hot outside is hot in here,' says Jackson Gatto, who is in his 20s. There's nothing like being trapped in a glass terminal with hundreds of strangers to lower your standards. Most people who've met someone at the airport believe they wouldn't have made such a connection in a normal setting However, Gatto's view isn't shared by all of his fellow travellers. 'It's not the same when you're travelling for work,' says Sally Hughes, a finance executive and regular flyer, who I meet in a bar typing away on her laptop. 'I just want to get from A to B and catch up on emails. I don't have time for romance.' If love is in the air, Sally's wearing an eye mask and headphones to shut out the small talk. Our experience of airports has changed over time. Flying was once a glamorous and fairly exclusive form of travel. While budget airlines have made it more accessible, they have lowered comfort and service levels, which, along with tighter security rules, have made it less fun and freewheeling. But while baggage allowances may have shrunk, our capacity for emotional connection appears to have remained intact. Dr Steve Taylor, lecturer in psychology at Leeds Beckett University, says that as social rules in airports feel more relaxed, our sense of identity becomes more fluid: 'We become disoriented, but also liberated … It predisposes us to be sociable. That feeling of disorientation you get at airports can be a pleasant experience.' Back in the departures lounge, passengers have been reunited with their phones and appear to be making up for lost screen time. They say comparison is the thief of joy – are phones the thief of connection? A gaggle of cabin crew waiting for their flight offer their thoughts. 'Before mobiles, you used to be able to tell whether people were swapping numbers because they'd ask for a pen,' says one flight attendant. 'Now people are buried in their phones.' Michael Davison, 63, who is retired and lives in France, met his ex-partner in the departures lounge at Istanbul airport in the late 1980s. They immediately hit it off, he says. 'We didn't know whether we'd be sitting together or not, but as fate would have it, we were.' They chatted for the whole four-hour flight home to London, and exchanged numbers in the arrivals hall. A few months later, they met up again, and went on to have two children and a 16-year relationship. Would their conversation have flowed as easily if they had been distracted by phones or in-flight entertainment? 'Perhaps not,' Davison says. As the day goes on, bars fill up and pre-flight drinks begin flowing more freely, making conversation easier. Most of my interactions start from small moments such as being asked: 'Is someone sitting here?' Perhaps the physical proximity in airports lends itself to connection too. In a bar nursing a beer, I find Jordan, 32, on the final leg of his journey from London to Sydney, with two hours to kill in Melbourne. I strike up a conversation and we bond for a while about growing up in London. But he's been awake for nearly 24 hours and I can tell romance isn't on his radar. In a final attempt to find connection, I head towards the gate of a delayed flight, knowing that 30% of people surveyed by think that bonding over frustration is a good way to meet a future partner. Looking at it optimistically, the difference between a long delay at an airport and a speed dating event is that at least at the airport you'll eventually take off, even if a romance doesn't. Now adept at assessing airport interactions, I see three people chatting and get the sense they have just met. 'I noticed the programme Maddy was using on her laptop and asked what she was working on,' says Ben Tynan, 33, who admits he rarely speaks to strangers. So what made him spark up a conversation? It seems the proximity effect is at play: 'I felt safe starting a conversation after I asked to move something next to her and she made a joke.' When the last flights of the day take off, I'm resigned to the fact none of my airport connections will result in lasting romance – apart from my suitor on the tram, perhaps (we are meeting up next week). When Nachlinger met his now husband, he says the connection was instant – normal social protocol seemed to melt away. 'I didn't even realise how old he was, I didn't know his name, nothing,' and yet, 'something told me I needed to get his number.' Throughout the day, I've heard many stories of romance blossoming airside. One common thread is that most people who've met someone at the airport believe they wouldn't have made such a connection in a normal setting: sometimes we just need an excuse to spark up a conversation. Perhaps airports aren't just transit points between locations, but between different versions of ourselves – the everyday self and the one emboldened to take bigger social risks. Maybe by replicating some of the social conditions of air travel in our daily lives – looking up more, using phones less, letting go of our fear of judgment – we'd make more connections landside. Taylor says it is possible: 'When we live according to strict identity and routines, we can feel trapped. At the airport, that weight starts to lift. We can learn from that.'
