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Indian Express
13-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘Ek chumma degi kya': Malavika Mohanan admits she doesn't consider Mumbai a safe city; expert on support systems to help women
Safety in public spaces shouldn't feel like a gamble — yet for many women in Indian cities, it still does. Yudhra actor Malavika Mohanan recently shared a personal account that speaks to this persistent, everyday anxiety, challenging the widely held belief that Mumbai is a safe city for women. 'People often say Mumbai is safe for women, but I'd like to correct that perception,' she said in an interview with Hauterrfly. 'Today, I have my own car and driver, so if someone asks me whether Mumbai is safe, I might be inclined to say yes. But my perspective was very different when I was in college. I used to travel by local trains and public buses, and back then, it never felt entirely safe. It always felt like a matter of luck. You had to hope your commute would be uneventful.' Recounting a chilling incident from her college days, Malavika said, 'I was on a local train with two of my closest friends… around 9.30 pm… in the first-class women's compartment… The train was quite empty. We were sitting near one of the window grills, chatting, when a man walked up to the window, stuck his face right up against the bars and said, 'Ek chumma degi kya? (Will you give me a kiss?)'' She continued, 'We froze… We were just three young girls, completely vulnerable.' Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, says, 'Having a car and driver gives a woman something most people take for granted — choice. It's not just about transport; it's about control. It lets her move through the city with more confidence, without constantly negotiating her presence, her clothing, her body language. That quiet ease of mind — of not having to stay alert every single second — is powerful.' A post shared by Malavika Mohanan (@malavikamohanan_) However, the fact that safety comes with access to private transportation raises an unsettling question about how our cities are designed. Public spaces, in theory, belong to everyone. But in reality, they often feel like obstacle courses for women. When basic safety is tied to what you can afford, it exposes a deeper failure: that urban planning, public transport, and social norms still don't centre the lived experiences of women. When young women freeze during harassment, it's a nervous system response — one that often gets misunderstood. Baruah mentions, 'Psychologically, the freeze reaction is part of our survival wiring. It happens when neither fight nor flight feels possible — when the threat feels too sudden or the power imbalance too stark. And this freeze response isn't rare — it's the tip of an iceberg of chronic hypervigilance that women carry every day.' From a systems lens, she states that the real failure is not that women freeze — but that the systems around them make them feel alone when they do. So the interventions we need must be both psychological and systemic, highlights Baruah. 'Trauma-informed education in schools can help normalise these responses and offer safe ways to process them. Bystander training in communities can help others step in. Public institutions must not only respond after the fact, but also actively create safer environments — such as better lighting, quicker complaint mechanisms, and the presence of female security staff. When women know their freeze response will be understood, and that support will follow, they stop blaming themselves. And that's the first step in helping them reclaim agency.'
Indian Express
09-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘Niley for life': Miley Cyrus on how break up with Priyanka Chopra's husband Nick Jonas affected her deeply; how lingering love and nostalgia blurs boundaries
Singer Miley Cyrus recently opened up about her past with Priyanka Chopra's husband Nick Jonas, and her confession caught many off guard. Speaking on the Every Single Album podcast, Miley said, 'I like Nick; I'm into him.' Reflecting on their breakup that happened over two decades ago, she admitted, 'I was distraught after our breakup. I was, like, sobbing, crying, unable to eat.' Miley and Nick dated as teenagers between 2006 and 2007 and briefly rekindled things in 2009. As for the reason behind their split, she revealed, 'Part of the reason we broke up was that he was going on tour with his band instead of taking me as his opening act. He was, like, separating himself from the Disney thing, and I wanted him to take me on the tour. Like, 'Why don't we do it together? I don't understand why you're leaving me.' Years later, Miley says, 'He's married with children. We're all moving on. Everything is good in the world.' Reminiscing about the good times, she fondly recalled the nickname fans gave her and Nick during their dating days, and to their delight, added, 'Niley for life.' Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing reflects on Cyrus's words and tells 'Romantic feelings can linger long after a relationship ends because love isn't just about the other person — it's also about how we felt in their presence. So when it ends, what stays isn't always the person, but the memory of who we were with them. That's why even years later, a passing thought or memory can stir deep emotions — it reminds us of a part of ourselves we once connected to through them.' A post shared by Priyanka (@priyankachopra) It's not always easy to tell whether this is real longing or just nostalgia, adds Baruah. 'One way to check is to ask: do I miss them, or do I miss the time, the feeling, the safety, or the version of me that existed back then? If the feelings return during periods of change, loneliness, or uncertainty, it might be more about something unresolved inside — like needing closure, grieving an old part of life, or holding on to a fantasy. Letting go doesn't always mean forgetting; sometimes it means understanding what that relationship represented and gently reclaiming those parts of ourselves.' Miley struggled to understand Nick's decision to separate their careers, saying, 'I don't understand why you're leaving me.' Baruah notes that in the early years of love — especially during adolescence or early adulthood — it's common to blur the line between 'me' and 'us.' 'The intensity of closeness can make it feel like any distance or differentiation is a form of rejection. But learning to hold space for intimacy and individuality is a key part of emotional maturity. When one partner chooses to focus on their career or personal growth, it doesn't necessarily mean they are leaving the other; it might mean they are trying to stay connected to themselves,' shares Baruah. Healthy boundaries are not about creating walls but about making room for two whole people to exist in a relationship. Especially during formative years, maintaining individuality helps partners support each other more authentically, without losing themselves. This kind of love often stands on more solid ground.
Indian Express
30-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘He starts pinching me…': Rachel Gupta gives up Miss Grand International crown, organisers say title ‘revoked'; signs one might be trapped in toxic environment
Rachel Gupta, the 21-year-old model from Jalandhar who made history by becoming the first Indian to win the Miss Grand International title in 2024, has now relinquished her crown — just seven months into her reign. However, the organisers mentioned that her title has been revoked, adding that 'the crown be returned to the MGI Head Office within 30 days from the date of this notice.' On May 28, Rachel announced her resignation on Instagram, citing 'broken promises, mistreatment and a toxic environment.' The following day, she released a YouTube video titled 'The Truth about Miss Grand International — My Story,' in which she offered an unfiltered account of her experience, levelling disturbing allegations against the pageant's organisers. 'Frankly they don't care if I live or die. As long as I'm there to smile at their events, as long as I keep my body super skinny, the way they like, they don't care if I live or die,' she said in the video. 'They just want me to be there, to go on TikTok Live and make money for them and show up at their events. That's it, that's all they want from me… I realised they would never, never support me, and I was completely on my own… they made us sell. You guys know they made us sell these cheap, tacky products on TikTok like we were salesgirls. You've crowned queens, girls who have careers in our country, we do things, we're well respected, and they're making us sell cheap products on TikTok because it makes them money and you can't say no.' Rachel also described feeling physically humiliated and body shamed, saying, 'I remember one time, they sent their representative to me and he just comes up to me and he starts pinching me in different places and he's like 'Oh you need to lose weight here, you need to lose weight here'. What am I supposed to say to that? It's so embarrassing. It makes you feel so small and so bad. I understand, obviously I have to stay fit for the job I have, and have to stay in shape, but it's so difficult when you don't have access to anything and you're just locked in a house, basically all day long.' However, on its official Instagram page, Miss Grand International released a statement mentioning that Rachel's title was revoked due to 'her failure to fulfill her assigned duties, engagement in external projects without prior approval from the organization, and her refusal to participate in the scheduled trip to Guatemala.' 'Miss Rachel Gupta is no longer authorized to use the title or wear the crown associated with Miss Grand International 2024,' it added. Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells 'In such environments, a woman's body becomes a product to be displayed, measured, and controlled. Over time, this relentless pressure can lead to internalised perfectionism, body dysmorphia, disordered eating, and a haunting belief that love, success, or safety depends entirely on how you look.' What makes it even more harmful is the emotional isolation. Baruah explains that when you're surrounded by glamour but deprived of real support or autonomy, self-doubt turns into quiet self-rejection. One of the clearest signs of a toxic or exploitative environment is the loss of personal autonomy. Baruah states, 'When adults are denied access to essentials, and expected to perform happiness while privately struggling, it starts to mirror cult-like dynamics. Subservience is rewarded, dissent is punished, and over time, the person may begin to question their own judgement.' Seeking help in these situations is hard, especially when power dynamics are steep and isolation is enforced. But even the smallest act of reaching out — whether it's talking to a trusted family member, quietly messaging a friend, or contacting a support organisation — can begin to break the silence.
Indian Express
26-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘I keep attracting women towards my men': Bhumi Pednekar on love triangles, emotional ease, and being whole without a partner
Bhumi Pednekar has always been vocal about her views on relationships, and in a recent interview, she shared her stance on love, monogamy, and self-contentment. While promoting her upcoming film Mere Husband Ki Biwi, she revealed to News18 Showsha that she is 'very possessive' in relationships and firmly believes in monogamy. She stated, 'I don't know what is it about me and the roles I do. I keep attracting the women towards my men. But in real life, I'm very possessive in a relationship. I completely believe in the institution of monogamy. So, there's no chance that I can tolerate a love triangle.' However, she also emphasised that while she is open to falling in love, she is equally comfortable with the idea of not having a man in her life, finding happiness in her own space. 'If I fall in love, then great. Even if it doesn't happen, I'm okay with it. When you're so happy in life, you feel complete on your own. But what I look for in a relationship is comfort. I want a relationship where I can just be myself with the person. Ease is really important,' she said. The actor added that more than any other relationship, she believes in the power of sisterhood, mentioning, 'As women, we all have shared experiences. We all, in a larger bracket, fall towards the same end. And those shared experiences automatically create a lot of empathy for each other. There's this unsaid sisterhood where we know that we've each other's back through thick and thin.' A post shared by Bhumi Pednekar (@bhumipednekar) Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells 'Possessiveness in relationships is a natural human experience — even the most secure individuals can feel it at times. It often stems from a fear of loss, a need for certainty, or past wounds that make us crave control. But relationships, like emotions, are fluid; trying to 'hold on tightly' can create anxiety, resentment, and a sense of suffocation for both partners. Instead of suppressing these feelings, acknowledging them with self-awareness helps.' Managing possessiveness in a healthy way means recognising that emotions come and go, she adds, reflecting on where the insecurity is rooted, and trusting both yourself and your partner. Love thrives in spaciousness — when it's about trust and freedom rather than control, it becomes more fulfilling and secure. Baruah states, 'Being comfortable with being single isn't inherently good or bad — it depends on how one engages with it and what meaning they attach to solitude. From an existential lens, solitude is a fundamental part of human existence. At its best, it allows deep self-awareness, emotional independence, and a strong sense of identity. It teaches resilience, helps people understand their needs beyond societal expectations, and fosters the ability to be alone without feeling lonely — an essential skill for any meaningful relationship.' However, she stresses that excessive comfort in solitude can also make it harder to share life with someone else. 'Relationships require adaptability, compromise, and openness to different perspectives—things that prolonged independence might make challenging. Some may struggle to let others in or find it difficult to embrace the uncertainty that comes with intimacy.'
Indian Express
08-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘Main thodi rubabwali thi': When Mumtaz spoke about her brief affair after feeling lonely in marriage; vulnerability's role in infidelity
Veteran actor Mumtaz once opened up about a deeply personal chapter in her life — her brief extramarital relationship and her husband's honesty about his own. Married to Ugandan businessman Mayur Madhvani since 1974, Mumtaz left her successful film career behind to focus on her family life. Over the years, she has battled cancer, emerged as a survivor, and spoken about the ups and downs of her marriage. Mumtaz said that after her husband told her about his affair, she started feeling lonely and hurt. This led to her travelling to India, where she met someone who helped her go through it. 'After the episode, I began feeling lonely. Main thodi rubabwali thi. I felt hurt. So, I flew down to India. When you're amidst thorns and someone comes along with a rose, you do get carried away. But it was nothing serious. Just a temporary phase, which ended soon,' Mumtaz shared in an old interview with Pinkvilla. Speaking about her husband's infidelity, she said, 'It's quite common for men to have affairs discreetly. My husband had only one.' She added, 'I respect him for being honest with me. He admitted he had a liking for a girl in the US but assured me, 'Mumtaz, you're my wife. I love you and will always love you. I will never leave you.' … Even God forgives once in a lifetime.' Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells 'Emotional vulnerability is one of the most overlooked roots of infidelity. When Mumtaz described her affair as a 'temporary phase' born out of loneliness and emotional hurt, she touched on something very real: often, cheating is not about the act itself — it's a manifestation of deeper unmet emotional needs. Research, like that of psychologist Shirley Glass, shows that emotional dissatisfaction, feeling unseen, unvalued, or disconnected, is a stronger predictor of infidelity than physical attraction.' In therapy, she says, 'we see betrayal less as a random act and more as an escape from inner loneliness, a search for vitality, or even a clumsy attempt to reclaim lost parts of oneself. And yes, relationships can survive it — but only when both partners are willing to step back and look beyond the betrayal to the pain underneath.' Baruah notes, 'Research by clinical psychologist Janis Spring shows that couples who survive infidelity often do so by confronting not just the betrayal but the root causes — the emotional distance, unmet needs, and personal struggles that made the relationship vulnerable.' Healing demands brutal honesty: open conversations about pain, needs, fears, and accountability. It's not about forgetting or pretending the breach never happened; it's about making meaning from it. Emotional safety gets restored not through grand promises, but through small, consistent actions that rebuild trust: transparency, empathy, patience, and a shared commitment to a new kind of intimacy, one that is aware of how fragile love can be — and chooses it anyway. When long-term couples like Mumtaz and her husband acknowledge their missteps and choose to stay together, it reflects a profound kind of resilience. Baruah mentions, 'Research by marriage therapist Dr John Gottman found that couples who survive betrayal often share certain patterns: they take responsibility without defensiveness, they validate each other's pain without rushing forgiveness, and most importantly, they rebuild trust slowly through what he calls 'trust-building moments' — small, everyday acts of reliability and care.'
