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The Guardian
11 hours ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
‘I am Jesus!': the TV brilliance of Noel Edmonds
He is risen. He is risen indeed. Six years after he huffed off to New Zealand in a hail of tuts, tsks and never-liked-you-anyways, Noel Edmonds has returned to our screens with a message for humanity. 'We're not trees,' he proclaims. 'We can move.' Noel Edmonds – and there can be no doubt that this is very much Noel Edmonds – is referring to his decision to leave the UK with his wife (Liz, 55) in order to establish an 800-acre hospitality business in the sobbingly beautiful South Island idyll of Ngatimoti. He doesn't like Britain any more, he says. It has 'changed'. But Noel – as his new programme, Kiwi Adventure, makes blisteringly clear – has not changed. He looks like a child's sand drawing of Aslan. He believes in 'the universal energy system', wears combatively tight linen T-shirts and has baths so cold he fears openly for the future of his scrotum. He is a deeply odd man. And yet. From the depths of the oddness re-emerges an imperishable truth: Noel Edmonds, for better or worse, is clinically incapable of making uninteresting TV. Here, then, are seven of the most notable emissions from the man's party cannon. 'Swap Shopppp,' bugled the theme tune, heralding the all-too-brief golden age of Saturday morning TV, an inflatable neon wonderland in which a jubilantly youthful Noel Edmonds could ask Kate Bush how she got her hair to go like that. Ferociously watchable studio quiz in which square-eyed families went cardigan-to-cardigan over questions about Blue Peter and Keith Chegwin. The winner? Knitwear. The runner-up? Telly. Noel's stewardship – aggressively serviceable action-slacks, smirk like the judgment of Zeus – would lend much-needed tension to the soft furnishings, thus plunging the McPerms of Perth and the Vauxhall-Cavaliers of Nantwich into a perpetual Scooby Doo-based deathmatch. Bring it back! Welcome ye to 'Crinkley Bottom,' an illusory fiefdom in which unsuspecting celebrity visitors (Dave Lee Travis, Edwina Currie etc) were greeted with mockery, gunge and often startlingly physical 'gotchas'. Pivotal to the chaos were Noel (presentational style: giggling necromancer) and bubonic familiar Mr Blobby, whose monosyllabic distress and sudden bouts of confused violence would attract audiences of 15 million. The House Party manifesto was as simple as the era in which it was conceived: hysterical conviviality for all, unless you're Dave Lee Travis, in which case we'll break your legs. Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël / Born is the King of Bra-aa-aaacknell. And Hove. And Ipswich, Canada, Finland and Crewe. The premise whispered of doom and seasonal biliousness but in reality the annual sight of Edmonds guffawing around the world to deliver festive reunions and white goods to the sickly and deserving was … not great, precisely, but also, crucially, not cack. The reason? Our host's unique ability to sidestep mawkishness while dressed as, variously, Santa, a Victorian dignitary and a garden gnome. He's called Noel for a reason, you know. The concept? Simple. The Noel? Guarded; tightly bearded; visibly uncomfortable around pensioners. The subsequent, sweltering tension – will Doris from Thanet attempt to engage him in a conversation about her dead husband for longer than her allotted 30 seconds? – would turn a daytime gameshow about cardboard boxes into a potentially lethal game of chance. Emboldened by the success of Deal or No Deal?, Edmonds' (brief) return to Saturday night TV found our subject very much in 'Noel's narked off' mode, sprinting through the obligatory 'members of the public rewarded for charitable deeds' bits in order to address the vexed issue of 'Broken Britain'. And lo, Noel didst upbraid bungling councils, bellow about bylaws and deliver sudden, snarling exhortations to know thy consumer rights lest the heavens split asunder and ye be cast into the eternal fire of implied warranty (Hotpoint 3:11-13). The subtext? I (Noel Edmonds) am angry, thus you (the viewer/Broken Britain/God) must pay. It was, in a very real sense, Brexit's patient zero. 'I am rocking,' intones Noel, emerging from his hyperbaric chamber like a blow-dried Christ. 'I. AM. ROCKING.' Broadcast this sort of stuff from a regional news studio and viewers would be lunging for the nearest mallet. But here, buttressed by a gasp-inducing mountain range and a preternaturally tolerant wife, Edmonds takes on an air of … vulnerability? Likability? Besides, the man's 76. If he wants to say 'I am Jesus' while wearing utility shorts in an outdoor shower, who are we to object? After six decades of televisual brilliance, awfulness, jumpers, Alan Partridge-esque hubris and comb-through hair colour, Noel Edmonds, perhaps more than anyone, has earned the right to be Noel Edmonds. Let us give thanks. Noel Edmonds' Kiwi Adventure is on ITV1 at 9pm.
Daily Mail
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Noel Edmonds' Kiwi Adventure review: Noel is the greatest tragicomic character of our time and this dark horse has as much charm as Clarkson's Farm
Noel Edmonds ' Kiwi Adventure Rating: The pitch for Noel Edmonds' Kiwi Adventure must have been: let's do Clarkson's Farm, but with Noel Edmonds. Yes, let's. And it does not disappoint. It's as if one of Alan Partridge's most desperate pitches finally got made. I had, in fact, stopped holding out for 'youth hostelling with Chris Eubank ' or 'arm wrestling with Chas and Dave' but now feel hopeful again. This is top-quality entertainment, possibly not for the right reasons, but I watched two episodes (of the six) and was transfixed. Edmonds may be the greatest tragi- comic character of our time. Noel Edmonds moved to New Zealand in 2018. Ah, so that's where he's been for the past seven years, you probably hadn't been wondering. He was no longer a fan of Britain. He says: 'All the things I miss about Britain are the reasons I left. It changed so much, so fast, so fundamentally, that I found myself missing a quieter country.' He then adds perceptively: 'We are not trees so we can move.' His estate, River Haven, is a monumentally stunning 800 acres. Here he is attempting to run a restaurant, a pub, a vineyard, a wellness centre, a general store and a coffee shack. He wants to be clear: this is not about him. He and his 'earth angel' wife, Liz, 'could sit in a big house somewhere but we feel we need to make a difference'. He met Liz when she was his make-up artist on Deal or No Deal. She first walked into the make-up room at 11.06 on October 6 in 2006, so now all the clocks in their house are set to 11.06. 'I knew she was in the room before I turned round,' he remembers. 'You will never pull us apart… we are one.' They are happy together. They have warrior statues in their private garden 'because Liz believes I was an emperor or leader of men in my past'. (He also has a giant praying knight statue to counter 'dark forces'.) It's one fascinatingly bizarre moment after another. They look through a box of old photos and he finds one fromLive Aid. 'My company organised the air transport,' he says, 'at no cost to them.' He later says, randomly, 'I pay my tax.' It feels as if he's pleading with us: how could you not love me? How? That's the 'tragi' part, I guess. He is 76, with hair that still defies gravity and, you could say, fashion. He looks remarkably unchanged. He has, it turns out, quite the wellness regime. It involves lying on a bed under suspended crystals, pulse electromagnetism therapy, 'tranquil power' – using a multigym slowly, from the looks of it – saunas, ice-baths, a hyperbaric chamber ('it shoots pure oxygen into your body; I'm rocking!') and also 'VIBE'. This he explains, is his acronym for 'visualisation of body energy'. (Let's all pretend we haven't noticed it should be 'VOBE'.) He and Liz only drink 'structured water', which they make themselves. (Look it up.) Wikipedia describes it as a 'scam' but he says it is better absorbed than regular water. He likes to round off his sentences with: '…and that's a scientific fact'. Later it is: 'Your body is lighter after death because your soul weighs something… scientific fact.' No one has yet identified the scientific universe Edmonds gets his facts from. Remember when he said bad vibes could give you cancer? Or did he mean vobes? All this, and we haven't even got to his business yet! So, his pub is not called The Farmer's Dog and he doesn't sell a beer called Hawkstone. Instead, it is called 'The Bugger Inn' and his beers include Tits Up, Boring Bastard and Old Git. There is also a Dickens Cider 'that is very popular with the ladies.' No one has yet identified the humour universe he gets his jokes from either. He doesn't draw Clarkson-style crowds. On the day his restaurant opens for the season only a couple of people turn up. (It is pouring with rain, to be fair.) The pub stages a Halloween party that seems to have all the atmosphere of an underpopulated Saga event. He worries that the local community won't accept him but, lest we forget, 'there are people who have lived here all their lives who are saying thank you, thank you'. No, thank you, Noel. This is a blast.
The Independent
10-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Independent
‘I'm living life to the full': Noel Edmonds on his move to New Zealand
Noel Edmonds, former host of Deal Or No Deal, stars in a new ITV show, Noel Edmonds' Kiwi Adventure, showcasing his life in rural New Zealand. Edmonds moved to New Zealand with his wife, Liz, seeking a change of pace and a connection with the land, initially settling north of Auckland before moving to the Tasman region in the South Island. The series follows Edmonds as he establishes a hospitality business in Ngatimoti, including a vineyard, coffee cart, general store, and restaurant, and his efforts to build New Zealand's first community energy garden. Edmonds highlights the beauty and challenges of New Zealand, including its intense weather, earthquakes, and the need for ethical farming practices, while also praising the friendly and resilient nature of Kiwis. Noel Edmonds' Kiwi Adventure aims to showcase New Zealand's scenery and community spirit, while also addressing public curiosity about Edmonds' life and career; the show launches on ITV1 on June 20.
Daily Mail
10-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Noel Edmonds opens up about Clarkson's Farm comparisons ahead of his £1million return to TV with show documenting move to New Zealand
Noel Edmonds has opened up about Clarkson's Farm comparisons ahead of his return to TV with show documenting his family move to New Zealand. The legendary broadcaster, 76, is making a reported £1M return to TV this month after emigrating to New Zealand with wife Liz in 2018. His new show Noel Edmond's Kiwi Adventure follows the couple after they bought land around Ngatimoti and built a hospitality business in the heart of the community. And it has already been compared to the Jeremy Clarkson 's farm show - but in a new interview Noel gave his impressions on the similarities and differences. Noel explained to The Sun: 'When we were filming our show, some people who knew about Clarkson's Farm said to me, 'Oh, is it like Clarkson's Farm?' From A-list scandals and red carpet mishaps to exclusive pictures and viral moments, subscribe to the Daily Mail's new Showbiz newsletter to stay in the loop. 'And I said, 'No, it couldn't be more different.' First of all, I'm not like Jeremy in many ways, though I wish I were. 'He's brilliant. He can articulate an argument beautifully and deliver a sharp, humorous line like no one else. 'The key difference between our Kiwi Adventure, and Clarkson's Farm is that ours is more of a lifestyle narrative.' The New Zealand business boasts a vineyard, coffee cart, general store and restaurant & pub, with cameras follow as they reopen to the public for its second full season. Noel also plans to build New Zealand 's first energy garden but how will his legacy project and the fledgling business cope when faced with unseasonal weather, bad press and feelings of being an outsider? As they settle into their new Kiwi Life will Noel's spirit for adventure and his many ideas survive the challenges New Zealand throws them? Last year MailOnline revealed that Noel could be set to rival Clarkson's Farm with £1million ITV deal' Jeremy Clarkson's Amazon Prime series remains a huge hit, with the latest figures revealing it was watched more than any other show for the whole of last week in just 48 hours. A TV insider told The Sun last year of the broadcasters return to television : 'Noel's incredible - and very eccentric - life is going to make TV gold. 'New Zealand is still struggling with the after-effects of their draconian lockdown laws and execs are hoping that Noel will do for tourism what Jeremy has done for British farming. 'There was a feeding frenzy from production companies to secure the rights, and everyone knows this could be a huge comeback for Noel.' Noel first moved to New Zealand in 2019 with former make-up artist Liz Davies, launching a network of radio stations near Auckland before moving to Ngatimoti three years later. As well as the winery, the TV star also has a shop, restaurant, pub, and café on a £15m estate - and in 2023, sparked a furious row with residents who accused him of 'colonising' their idyllic village. The Deal Or No Deal star has also added winemaking to his repertoire at River Haven. Noel settled in the Ngatimoti area and snapped up 12 properties worth almost £15m on 270 hectares of land. The town is already well-known in New Zealand for its annual festival, which generally takes place in October and is attended by thousands of people. In 2023, he sparked a furious row with residents who accused him of 'colonising' their idyllic village. One said: 'I feel like he's a coloniser. He's come in like he's the lord of the manor.' The television star has not helped matters by posing for photos on the estate holding a mug with the slogan 'His Lordship'. The resident added: 'He's got this attitude... about how he's improved the place and made it amazing - it was already amazing.'
Daily Mail
06-06-2025
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE Noel Edmonds is 'a coloniser who's come in like Lord Of The Manor': Furious locals slam TV star over pub plans and say they 'don't give a s***' about his fame. Now he gives HIS side of the story - and reveals 'earth angel' helping him cope
'Really, I don't miss anything,' says Noel Edmonds, excluding family and friends. The veteran broadcaster turned his back on his British career and moved 11,500 miles away to New Zealand with his wife Liz, but has no regrets. 'Because truthfully, I was already missing things while I was still living in Britain. I missed a sense of community, a slower pace of life,' he says, meaning that these things had already disappeared from this country before he left, in his opinion. 'What don't I miss? Congested roads. The pressure on education, healthcare and infrastructure. We don't have those problems here.'
