Latest news with #JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology
Yahoo
10 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
Research shows it's normal for relationship satisfaction to vary lots
You may find it reassuring to learn that often, people's satisfaction levels vary quite a lot within a relationship, even within a short space of time, a new study says. Satisfaction with your partner or relationship can fluctuate significantly within a few days or even within a single day, according to a psychological study carried out in Germany. This finding could help to better support couples, by showing them in therapy that fluctuating satisfaction is perfectly normal to a certain extent and does not necessarily jeopardise a relationship. Be clear about your own needs At the same time, experiencing fluctuations in satisfaction can show couples in romantic relationships that their needs are not being fully met - so could be a signal that improvement is needed. "To this end, partners should be clear about their needs and express them appropriately," says psychologist Louisa Scheling, lead author of the University of Mainz study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The extent to which the partner is perceived as approachable or responsive has a significant influence on satisfaction. A certain "emotional instability in men" also has a significant effect, the study says. That may be because women are more accustomed to emotional fluctuations due to their hormonal cycles. In men, on the other hand, emotional instability tends to be attributed to relationship dynamics, the authors say. "Reliable perception and fulfilment of needs by the partner contributes significantly to stable relationship satisfaction in everyday life," says Scheling. Ultimately, it is similar to a parent-child relationship, she adds. "If needs are consistently met, then satisfaction remains stable at a high level." Variation greater between days than within one day The study found relationship satisfaction varied significantly between days and within each day. The variance between days was greater than within a single day. It also showed that the ups and downs in satisfaction among partners were relatively synchronised and that varying satisfaction was not related to demographic factors, meaning that it is a common experience for most couples, even those who have been in a relationship for a long time. Up until now, research has so far focused on how satisfaction with a relationship develops over months and years, the study says. However, since romantic relationships develop in everyday life, it is crucial to also examine satisfaction and fluctuations within short periods of time – given that in Western countries, one in three marriages end in divorce, meaning that many relationships break down. Scheling and her team of scientists, who collaborated with other research institutions, evaluated data from two previous studies involving couples consisting of one man and one woman. Data from a study conducted by the University of Basel between 2016 and 2018 included information from nearly 600 couples who recorded their satisfaction levels in several waves. Participants were couples from Switzerland, Austria and Germany over the age of 18 who had been together for at least one month. The other online study, conducted by the Universities of Mainz and Heidelberg between 2021 and 2023, included data from 150 couples who were asked about their satisfaction several times a day. In this study, the participants were couples who had only moved in together in the past four weeks.
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Health
- Yahoo
Couples who share this quality are happier and more satisfied with their lives, new study says
There are many aspects to maintaining a healthy, happy relationship, but how your relationship impacts your emotional well-being is important too. Research has indicated that personal relationships are largely where people derive their sense of meaning in life—defined by researchers as how people 'comprehend, make sense of, or see significance in their lives.' But it hasn't been clear what it is about relationships that helps people find meaning. A recent study gets us closer to an answer: Research from McGill University, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, shows that couples who hold a shared worldview (being on the same page about their understanding of the world) experienced less uncertainty and found more meaning in their lives. Researchers conducted five studies of nearly 1,300 adults in the U.S. and Canada, pooling data from lab-based tasks, online surveys, and experiments. They were testing the hypothesis that experiencing a sense of shared reality with a close partner reduces uncertainty about one's environment, which in turn boosts meaning in work and life. For instance, they found that front-line healthcare workers during the COVID-19 pandemic and Black Americans during the Black Lives Matter demonstrations reported feeling less uncertainty and more meaning when their partner's understanding of the world matched their own. 'Our approach was different from earlier work on how relationships promote meaning, which tended to focus on aspects like belonging or support,' said lead author and psychologist M. Catalina Enestrom in a press release. 'We set out to explore whether sharing thoughts, ideas and concerns about the world with a romantic partner could enhance meaning by reducing uncertainty about one's environment.' Having that shared perception of reality with your partner, according to the study, helps make your reality seem true while validating your perspective. Over time, the more experiences you share with your partner, the closer you can become to sharing a worldview. 'As couples accumulate shared experiences, shared feelings, goals, and memories, they develop a generalized shared reality,' senior author John Lydon, psychology professor at McGill University, said in the press release. 'This is different from simply feeling close or supported. It's not just 'my partner gets me,' it's 'we get it.'' Enestrom pointed out that shared reality can emerge from both aligned experiences and interpretations. 'Shared reality can form, for instance, when a couple watches a horror movie together and one or both partners perceive that they both find it scary,' she said. 'But shared reality doesn't necessarily require shared experiences. One partner can describe a stressful event they experienced, and if the other partner sees it the same way, this too can foster shared reality.' The more shared reality experiences you accumulate together, the more likely you are to build a shared understanding of the world in general, she explained. As couples become closer through a shared reality, researchers also observed a greater sense of meaning in life, where individuals have a strong feeling of purpose, which research indicates can lead to better coping, greater happiness, and improved health outcomes. For more on relationships: 5 things most Americans say are true about love and successful relationships Marriage has a surprising link to dementia risk, new study finds Couples most likely to divorce share a common economic trait, research shows This story was originally featured on
New Straits Times
08-05-2025
- General
- New Straits Times
SPM opens doors but is not the only gateway to meaningful life
THE announcement of this year's Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) results brought a wave of excitement across the country. With 14,179 candidates achieving straight As — the highest in over a decade — there is much to be proud of. But as headlines rightfully celebrate these achievements, it's worth remembering this: SPM opens many doors but it is not the only road to a meaningful life. To those who didn't get as many As as they'd hoped, your journey is just getting started. According to the Education Ministry, 1,789 candidates — about 0.5 per cent of the students who sat for SPM 2024 — did not pass. But this is not the end of the road. An exam reflects a moment in time — not the totality of your potential and certainly not your worth. I say this from experience. Several decades ago, I enrolled in an engineering programme at a local university because everyone else seemed to be doing it. Unsurprisingly, it didn't take long before the cracks started to show. I struggled to connect with the study material and lectures began to feel more like background noise than inspiration. My grades slipped and my interest vanished. And eventually, so did I — officially dismissed from the programme. I felt like my life had derailed. But as life often proves, failure isn't always the end. Sometimes, it's the beginning of a better route. I decided to start over. My SPM results were modest — mostly credits, with two As — but they were enough to get me started. I enrolled in a diploma programme, the first step in a longer journey that eventually led to a degree, a Master's and, ultimately, a PhD. It wasn't a straight path. My peers were graduating, building careers and moving ahead while I was finding my footing and figuring out who I was meant to become. In hindsight, that was exactly what I needed. It gave me time to figure out what truly mattered. That winding path eventually led me to where I am today: an educator in Islamic economics and finance, a field I now consider a calling. It wasn't the most direct route but it taught me patience, resilience and the quiet determination to keep going. It's also why the concept of grit resonates so strongly. Professor Dr Angela Duckworth, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, defines grit as a combination of passion and perseverance in pursuit of long-term goals. In her landmark 2007 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, she found that grit — more than IQ, exam scores or raw talent — was the strongest predictor of success across diverse settings, from Ivy League undergraduates to West Point military cadets. The paper, which has since been cited over 11,000 times in academic literature, showed that those who kept going — especially when things got difficult — were the ones most likely to succeed. In today's world, where change is constant and challenges are many, that kind of perseverance matters more than ever. Yes, SPM is important. It opens doors. It signals discipline and potential. But it is not the only road to a fulfilling future. Nor is it the only way to define your worth. In Malaysia today, there are more routes to success than ever before. Vocational training, polytechnic programmes, digital skills development, entrepreneurship, creative fields — all of these are legitimate and valuable. Some students may thrive in conventional academic settings. Others may shine through hands-on work, innovation or business ventures. We need all of them. To students celebrating today: well done. Walk through the doors your hard work has opened. But stay hungry, be kind and never stop growing. To those who feel unsure or are left behind: keep walking. Keep building your own road. SPM is not the final word. Some of life's best lessons happen outside exam halls. They happen when you get up, dust yourself off and keep going anyway. That is grit. And in the long run, grit will carry you further than any exam ever could.
Los Angeles Times
06-05-2025
- Health
- Los Angeles Times
Opinion: Toxic positivity's hidden harm to mental health
Sometimes it seems like we are a culture addicted to happiness. Social media news feeds are filled with #GoodVibesOnly tweets, self-help books brainwash us to the power of limitless optimism, and good friends teach us to 'just think positive!' when life isn't going so well. What if, rather than keeping us happy, this cultural mandate of optimism is preventing us from being happy? I mean toxic positivity — the assumption we can only be positive in every situation and cut off all else. On paper it sounds wonderful, even therapeutic-sounding. However, the suppression of bad feelings can cause a rebound. It was discovered in a 2018 Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study that individuals who embraced their negative emotions had lower depression and anxiety levels than individuals who suppressed or denied them. Suppression of negative emotions was associated with reduced long-term emotional resilience in a 2017 NIH study. The problem isn't that we're getting too scared—it's that other feelings are being de-legitimized. When you say to someone who's in pain or hurt, 'just be thankful for what you have!' you're hearing it as the message that your pain is not valid. Psychologist and author Susan David argues that emotional well-being is a side effect of accepting all of the feelings, not only the good ones. Social media sites such as Instagram and TikTok engage in toxic positivity by encouraging the airbrushed highlight reel of life. In a 2021 NIH study, researchers found that binge-watching 'positive' content leaves the viewer worse-off since they compare their very real issues to other individuals' seemingly perfect lives. I've seen it myself. A sophomore at Washington Connections Academy who requested to be anonymous once told me, 'I feel guilty feeling sad because everyone on the internet is so happy.' That guilt only set her further into isolation. Researcher Brené Brown states it more eloquently: 'We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.' Optimism is beautiful, of course — science attaches it to increased physical well-being and durability. But toxic positivity isn't. The first permit struggle; the second closes doors to struggle. As a teaching example, it can be over-loading when telling a patient with cancer 'be positive,' as it represses fear by suggesting restraint on something that should give way. In a 2022 International Journal of Behavioral Medicine article, researchers put cancer patients in a good mood and found they had higher levels of impairment and limited engagement in life after treatment. Sometimes the nicest thing we can tell someone is, 'This really sucks, and I'm here for you.' What do you do instead? Practice emotional validation – Instead of disqualifying someone else's pain, try: 'That sounds really tough. How can I help you?' In other situations, you can practice 'both-and' thinking – you can love your job and still be outraged about a horrible day. Emotions are not mutually exclusive. Forcing false happiness isn't liberating us — it's deteriorating us. By eschewing the #PositiveVibesOnly illusion, we're making it easier to live authentic connection and healing. And as psychologist Carl Rogers masterfully explained long ago, 'The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.' Let's not sweep aside pain in the guise of being optimistic. At times the most kind thing we can do is to say, 'Me too.' Related
The Star
05-05-2025
- Health
- The Star
'Terminal phase': Couples hit point of no return two years before actual breakup
The researchers say couples who eventually separated had a relationship satisfaction level that declined gradually over several years before a significant drop. — CHRISTIN KLOSE/dpa New research into relationships has shown that couples who break up reach a point of no return as much as two years before their relationship formally ends. In these couples, relationship satisfaction gradually declines, and then, about one to two years before the breakup, there is a sharp drop, after which there is no coming back for the relationship, explains Janina Buhler, one of two authors of the study. Couples are already well aware that relationship satisfaction typically decreases over the course of a romantic relationship, but the two researchers at Swiss and German universities were keen to understand why decline is particularly common in the early years of being together. For people seeking to stay in their relationships despite turbulence, the research underscores the importance of seeking couples therapy early, before reaching the so-called 'terminal phase' that leads to an ultimate breakup. The study – published in March in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology – found that many couples face a particular low point after 10 years. Buhler, together with Ulrich Orth from the University of Bern in Switzerland, examined partnerships and their dissolution from the perspective of the end of the relationship. The research duo analysed results from four earlier studies conducted in Germany, Australia, Britain and the Netherlands. During these long-term studies, participants were regularly asked about their relationships and their lives. 'This means the statements were not made retrospectively, but we can precisely track how the breakup occurred,' explains Buhler from the University of Mainz in Germany. The researchers found that couples who eventually separated had a relationship satisfaction level that declined gradually over several years before a significant drop. After this point, these couples separated within seven to 28 months – all of them, the study noted. 'Once this phase is reached, a breakup is inevitable,' Buhler says. However, couples often seek professional help only at the breaking point – when it is usually too late. 'If partners are in the pre-terminal phase, before the steep decline begins, efforts to improve the relationship can be more effective, and a breakup might be prevented,' the psychologist added. – dpa
