Doing mushrooms on the Reeves estate
Rachel Reeves has enough on her plate without having to worry about gardening. But the alarm bells have been sounded at the Chancellor's grace-and-favour country pile Dorneywood, which has been gripped by an outbreak of honey fungus. The species of invasive mushrooms have already killed off one birch tree on Reeves's estate; and two nearby beeches could be next. Dorneywood's trustees have now requested permission from the local council to fell them before they cause any more problems. Will this approach to dead wood guide Reeves as she slashes wasteful Whitehall spending in her spending review in 11 days' time?
Gary Lineker or crispy duck?
Advertising man Malcolm Green is to blame for why former Match of the Day presenter Gary Lineker became the face of Walkers crisps. Asked to come up with an ad campaign to revive Leicester-based crisps brand Walkers in the mid-1990s, Green asked Lineker – 'one of Leicester's most famous sons' – to front a 'no more Mr Nice Guy' campaign. However his idea was rejected in favour of a CGI crispy duck. 'When that campaign flopped, we were asked to dust off the Lineker idea and shoot it as a one-off' while another campaign was thought up. 'That 'one-off' went on to become the longest-running ad campaign in Europe,' Green told The Jewish Chronicle. 'Maybe I should have persuaded Walkers to have more faith in that crispy duck? She certainly wouldn't have been as controversial.'
Howzat, prayerfully
How do cathedral choirs get through the countless sermons they must endure? They play 'sermon cricket', according to new book Evensong – Notes from the Choir by Tim Popple, an alto lay clerk at Bristol cathedral. Under its scoring system a preacher is awarded one run for mentioning God, four runs for Jesus and six for Satan or the Devil. But if the preacher uses the words I or me, a wicket falls. Popple explains: 'The better the score, the more the preacher spoke about faith and less about themselves.' When 10 wickets fall, choristers may feel they are no longer under any obligation to listen.
Jenkyns's plunger
A live interview with elected Reform UK Mayor of Greater Lincolnshire Dame Andrea Jenkyns to defend her party against charges of 'fantasy economics' was interrupted on GB News this week when her eight-year-old son Clifford burst into her home office to announce that the family lavatory was blocked. The interview with presenter Martin Daubney ended swiftly. Concerned, I got in touch with the ex-Tory MP. 'Was the issue dealt with?' I asked her. 'Yes, I used the plunger,' replied Jenkyns.
Room service for Fern!
TV presenter Fern Britton is mystified by the current fad for hi-tech hotel rooms. 'They baffle me: All dark lighting, no mirrors – and no three-pin plug sockets anymore. It's all USB ports,' she says. 'I spent a night in a hotel in Manchester. I didn't know how to turn the television down or off, and I couldn't turn the lights out – so I went to bed, wrapped up in a scarf.' We've all been there Fern. Downton and out
The third Downton Abbey film – out in September – looks like it will be the last one. 'The clue is in the title: Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale,' Hugh Bonneville, who plays the 7th Earl of Grantham, told an audience at the Goodwoof dog festival at Goodwood House, West Sussex. 'We're all done and dusted. We've had an amazing 15 years.' Perhaps Bonneville can reprise his role as Mr Brown in Paddington The Musical when it opens in the West End in November? 'I won't be singing,' he says, disappointingly. What a shame.
Miles better
Sports news! After the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow decided to replace the 1,500 metres with the mile, the British Weights and Measures Association – I am an honorary member – wants it to become permanent. Its director John Gardner has written to the organisers pointing out it is the first race over a mile at the Games since 1966, and is 'a tribute to the race in Vancouver in 1954 between Roger Bannister and Australia's John Landy, the only two sub-four-minute runners in the world at the time'. I rather agree.
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