Why many abuse victims choose silence
I must admit that am not a big fan of Arabic drama but when I heard about the Egyptian series 'Lam shamsiya' I was curious to check it out. The 15-episode series centres around an 8-year-old boy called Yousif who is subjected to abuse from Wisam his teacher and father's best friend.
We learn that Wisam is a respected university professor who is married and has a teenage daughter. When Yousif's stepmother discovers the abuse no one believes her and the abuse continues. We discover that Wisam uses the code 'our secret game' for his encounter with the boy and gives him a star for each time they 'play'.
Yousef then finds out that other boys receive similar stars from Wisam which means they are victims too. The series explores the sensitive topic of abuse from a realistic point of view, showing the abuser as someone trusted by the child and how some children don't speak out. We also see the stepmother who was the whistleblower being called a lair because others were fooled by Wisam charismatic persona.
Working as a psychiatrist, I came across a few victims and sometimes perpetrators of abuse and have witnessed the fear, guilt and confusion experienced by victims, and how sometimes families resolved to keep quiet about it which allows perpetrators to continue abusing others.
In some occasions, victims of abuse become perpetrators which is known as 'the cycle of abuse'.
The psychological impact of abuse on the victims and their families is devastating as most victims start distancing themselves from others, become withdrawn from school and experience sudden mood changes.
In many occasions, the abuse causes long-lasting emotional scars that can affect the victim's development, self-image and relationships for a lifetime.
People who read or hear about abuse often wonder why some victims remain silent. This can be because most abusers say manipulate the victim by saying 'This is our special secret' or 'No one will believe you'.
In many cases, the child is too young to understand what is happening is actually abuse. Victims who are emotionally neglected can mistake attention for love, especially when it comes from a trusted person like a sibling, a parent or a teacher.
So, how can we help victims of abuse? Psychological therapies such as trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing are reported to help victims regain a sense of safety, self-worth and control over their lives. However, such therapies take time and need to be delivered by an experienced therapist who is also compassionate.
By shedding light on stories like Yousif's, society can begin to break the silence and stigma surrounding abuse. Protecting children is not just about reacting after the fact — it's about building environments of trust, awareness and courage, where children are heard, believed and protected.
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