"I'm Honestly In Shock": This 25-Year-Old's Story About Being Detained Just For Using The Bathroom Is Absolutely Horrifying

Luca Strobel, 25, is a transgender man living in South Carolina who used to talk a lot about the importance of being visibly out and proud in that part of the country. Now, after a frightening incident at a local bar, his sense of safety has been shattered, and he's raising funds to leave the state.
On May 16, Luca visited a local bar to be a sober driver for a friend. While he was waiting for her to be ready to leave, he realized he needed to use the restroom. But he had a problem. The men's room at the bar only had urinals — no stalls, and no privacy.
After a brief exchange with a staff member, Luca and his friend entered the otherwise empty women's restroom so he could pee. In a now-viral TikTok where he recounted his story, Luca said, "So this is where I start to think, this is a setup, and I'm about to get hate-crimed."
Next, Luca says that the bar owner came into the bathroom while they were peeing and started to yell at him over the stall door. "They just start like screaming that like there's a man in here taking a shit. I shouldn't be in there. Like, they were cussing." After they finished using the restroom, Luca says the bar owner pushed him out of the bar while shouting anti-trans slurs.
Outside, the police were waiting for Luca to put him in handcuffs, take his phone, and accuse him of being drunk and disorderly, claiming that he was involved in a bar fight. Luca says that he was scared but compliant throughout this encounter with law enforcement, but officers still shouted at him to stop resisting and handled him roughly, tightening his cuffs so tightly that he couldn't feel his fingers. "As the guy pushed me on the curb, he was calling me girly girl, little girl girl girl, girly girl, girl girl."
Luca says they were then taken down to the police station, but were not booked. "We were asking a bunch of questions that they refused to answer. They didn't read us our rights. They just kept saying, 'Take it up in court. Take it up in court. Take it up in court.'" Ultimately, Luca ended up with $500 bond and an upcoming court hearing.
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FYI, in South Carolina, there are no laws governing which bathrooms members of the general public can use in establishments like bars and restaurants. However, the state is one of seven states that have banned transgender people from using bathrooms that align with their gender identity. So, had Luca been in a school, he would have been legally required to use the women's restroom. The state is also home to Representative Nancy Mace, the Republican who introduced a bill banning trans people from using bathrooms on federal property that don't match their sex assigned at birth.
After the incident, Luca shared, "I'm honestly in shock. My entire body hurts. I woke up the next day and couldn't feel my fingers. I have bruises on my leg. I have a bruise on my arm. I still have anxiety rash just from thinking about it."
When Luca shared his story on TikTok, people in the comments were horrified but sadly not surprised.
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And people are hoping that Luca can get some justice after what he went through.
Luca told BuzzFeed that speaking out about what happened to them has been scary, but it's also empowering. "I'm hoping that this sheds a bit of light on the contradictions Republicans introduce when they attempt to police where trans people can/should use the restroom. I never intended to make a statement that night, but that's what it has become, and I refuse to shy away from it because of fear."
Unfortunately, after this experience, Luca says he doesn't feel safe in his community anymore, and he's started a GoFundMe to pay for his legal defense and get out of the state. He told BuzzFeed that the thought of leaving his home state is "bittersweet." "I've lived in the Charleston area my entire life. I'm a country boy through and through. I grew up on a farm with my family; we all hunt, fish, and grow our food."
He went on, saying, "There's a lot that I'm leaving behind. But if I want to continue to be an advocate for my community, I need to do it somewhere where I feel protected in some sense."
At a time when the trans community is under attack, it's deeply important to highlight trans joy too, so Luca shared a bit about what it means to him to live as his most authentic self. "Coming out, for me, was a long process. It took so many years for me to understand the feelings I had towards my body, gender, and identity."
"When I finally relinquished my fears and followed through with that one Planned Parenthood appointment I decided not to cancel, my entire world changed. I got top surgery during one of the worst times of my life — I had no caregiver and had to take care of myself. Yet, I consider the moment I saw my flat chest one of the happiest moments of my life. My transition saved my life."
"Watching the image I always had of myself manifest outwardly has been enough to motivate me in countless ways. For one, I have an overwhelming desire to be a voice for trans youth everywhere. They will never erase us. This isn't about me, it's about the bigger picture. I just happen to be a part of it."
Finally, he has a message for people who don't yet understand why anti-trans discrimination is such a serious issue. "I would encourage them to begin paying attention to things like this, as they affect everyone. A lot of the confusion created by the 'bathroom debate' is easily resolvable when you consider areas that utilize gender neutral bathrooms and the lack of issues like this occurring in those places. It was never about bathrooms. They don't want us to exist in public. So, we continue to exist in public. This is the only way."
Looking for more LGBTQ+ or Pride content? Then check out all of BuzzFeed's posts celebrating Pride 2025.
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Also in LGBT: Most People Can't Name Even 2/14 Of These Queer Terms, So I'll Be Shocked If You Pass

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Associated Press

27 minutes ago

• Associated Press

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Alex Padilla, D-Calif., at a recent Department of Homeland Security news conference in California. Lawmakers believe it's time to lower the temperature. 'I don't know why Mike took the comments down, but it was the right thing to do,' said Sen. Ben Ray Luján, D-N.M. 'I appreciate my Republican colleagues who were very clear with their observations. And those that spoke up, I want to commend them.' He added: 'We just all have to talk to each other. And what I learned from this week is people need to lean on each other more, and just get to know each other more as well.' ___ Associated Press reporter Mary Clare Jalonick contributed to this report.