Ellie Kemper Knows It's Just a Phase
Fact checked by Sarah Scott
Actress Ellie Kemper is embracing the growing trend of multigenerational travel. This summer, she and her husband, comedian and television writer Michael Koman, are taking their two sons, James, 8, and Matthew, 5, on a trip to the East Coast with members of their extended family. The Office alum calls this the ultimate summer family vacation.
'I say this for selfish reasons,' says Kemper. 'A, there are plenty of people to watch the children, so I can take a nap. And B, the kids have other kids to play with, and that's the best because then they just play. And again, I can take a nap. At first, I thought, 'Oh, that's so much stress.' It's actually less stressful to have more people.'
The reality is, a stress-free vacation is any parent's dream. There's a nagging overwhelm that often comes with navigating those months when kids are out of school. One survey from Harmon Research found 68% of working parents are overwhelmed once school is out, particularly because of the need to manage their child's activities, while making sure they are engaged and safe. Meanwhile, a Talker Research survey of 2,000 parents with kids, ages 5 to 12, found 64% of them are most stressed about how to keep their kids entertained during vacation.
Kemper's key to getting through summer guilt-free is by keeping her expectations low. 'Summertime is a new experience every year because, obviously, my kids are getting a year older every summer,' she says. 'I try not to set my sights too high. I'm just like, 'Let's keep it manageable.''
That means sending her boys to summer day camps, which they are all for. 'Sometimes they try a camp where they don't know anyone, and they're surprisingly at home, which makes me happy,' says the Bridesmaids star. 'I don't know if I could do that as an adult, so I envy that they're able to adapt so easily.'
It also means ditching the strict routines that tend to take over during the school year. 'I'm looking forward to having not as much structure,' the St. Louis native says. 'I know that all the parenting experts will tell me that structure is key, and I agree with that to a point. But I think it's also nice to let some of the structure slide during the summer, which is sort of natural.'
It comes down to understanding her family's comfort level. That's why another rising family trend—the road trip—won't be on this summer's itinerary. 'Unfortunately, we are not a road trip family,' she says. 'My kids spent the first years of their life in New York City, and I swear that made them unable to handle car rides because they were on the subway or walking, so they don't do so well in the car.'
In 2024, the family moved to the opposite coast and is living in Southern California due to Koman's work. Kemper, who starred in Netflix's Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt for four seasons from 2015 to 2019, has been busy at work herself. She started podcasting in 2023. 'Who isn't?' jokes Kemper, who hosts the Born to Love podcast with her good friend Scott Eckert. It features some famous guests, including her former co-star Jenna Fischer who plays Pam Beesly on The Office.
'It's a joyful podcast,' Kemper explains. 'We have guests on to talk about something that they love, and the premise is simple, so I really enjoy doing that.'
You may have also caught her on TV starring as the 'Kohl's Mom' in Kohl's latest marketing campaign. She plays a lovable mom with a big, humorous personality. It's not so far off from who she is in real life. 'I am a mom, like a Kohl's mom, and I love a good deal,' she says of why the partnership was a no-brainer for her. 'I feel like it's a great space to shop for families. And I always feel better when I go there.' (Her shopping list includes a Summer Fridays lip balm, faux flowers from Sonoma, and, of course, whatever she might need for her husband and kids.)
But Kemper, the author of My Squirrel Days, says navigating her work schedule during summertime can sometimes be challenging. While the Emmy-nominated star has flexibility at this point in her career—something she acknowledges is a huge blessing—things aren't always set in stone.
'In our industry, a lot of jobs may come at the last minute, or schedules have to shift based on any number of factors,' she says. 'I personally try to keep the summer a little bit free for me just because the kids don't have school, and so it's sort of nice not to have that priority. But I think it's always something that you're—sorry to use this word—juggling.'
Kemper doesn't pretend to have it all figured out. In fact, she doesn't even define her parenting style.
'It's constantly evolving,' she shares. 'And by that I mean that, while my husband and I have rules and boundaries and structure in place, I've learned that I need to ease up on certain things. So, it's kind of something that I'm constantly refining.'
Easing up can be necessary when you have two elementary-school-age boys with tons of energy. 'This is a blessing and a curse,' says Kemper. 'I don't have daughters, so I don't know if that's different from daughters.'
It helps to lean on what she calls the best parenting advice she's ever received (it was from a magazine, if you're wondering). 'Mostly everything is a phase,' she says. 'When my kids were like 2 years old, I thought, 'Oh, they're having tantrums; this is gonna be the rest of my life.' No, everything is a phase, and it will pass. I think that's very helpful to keep in mind.'
On particularly tough days, she also turns to her own mom for parenting wisdom. 'I hope I'm not bragging about myself, but she raised four great children," she says, referencing her sister and two brothers. 'I would, of course, want to learn from her. She's a very good mom.'
The actress even takes some notes from her character Kimmy Schmidt, a woman who reclaims her life in New York City after being rescued from a doomsday cult. 'I was always envious of her ability to endure,' says Kemper. 'And so I would say, in terms of parenting, just knowing that you gotta outlast the tantrum, you gotta outlast whatever undesirable behavior is going on, and just keep moving forward.'
It's these qualities that make Kemper believe Kimmy would be a better parent than Erin Hannon, her character on The Office. 'She knows hardship, and I feel like she has the mindset of an athlete, and so she would be able to keep plugging along,' she explains.
The good humor of her characters can be an asset in parenting, and–perhaps unsurprisingly–Kemper and her husband lean into that. 'When we are in the trenches and things feel very hard, it's so nice to be able to turn to him and make a joke,' she says.
And their kids are following in their funny parents' footsteps.
'The greatest joy I get is that I have two really funny boys, and they make me laugh a lot, and they have endless energy,' says Kemper. 'I want to borrow some."
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