Salma Hayek, Linda Evangelista and how to successfully co-parent in blended families
Salma Hayek, Linda Evangelista and how to successfully co-parent in blended families
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Relationship expert has tips to start dating again after a divorce
Moving on after a divorce can be challenging, but relationship expert Dr. Ramani has tips to help you dip your toes back into the dating pool.
Co-parenting can be hard. But celebrities are showing how it's done.
Linda Evangelista, Salma Hayek and French billionaire François-Henri Pinault were all smiles as they huddled together in Instagram photos celebrating their son Augustin Evangelista's high school graduation.
Antonio Banderas recently commented on a photo featuring his daughter Stella Banderas and ex-partner Melanie Griffith: 'Happy to see you all happy!!'
Jennifer Garner also took to Instagram stories to wish her ex-husband Ben Affleck a happy Father's Day, according to a screenshot taken by E! News and Page Six. They share three kids.
What's the secret to a successful co-parenting relationship? Emotional maturity, healthy boundaries, skillful communication and child-focused parenting, said Karen Bonnell, psychotherapist and author of the 'The Co-Parenting Handbook' and 'The Stepfamily Handbook.'
It's 'no small task,' she said. But children ultimately benefit when parents do the work.
'Whether graduations, weddings, moving into a dorm room in the fall – parents who are able to share space responsibly honor their children's special events,' Bonnell said.
What is co-parenting?
In 2023, more than 2.3 million children under 18 lived in stepfamilies, according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau.
Co-parenting exists on a continuum and occurs when two people share a child, Bonnell said. Parallel co-parenting exists at one end of the spectrum, while cooperative co-parenting exists at the other.
Ex-couples practicing parallel co-parenting maintain a formal, rule-driven, low-engagement and 'business-like' relationship as they raise their children, she said. The only things required for it are basic civility, skillful problem-solving and responsible communication.
Cooperative co-parenting describes a more 'collaborative' relationship. Parents may share holidays, transition from one home to the other and maintain a good relationship with stepparents.
'Parents have grieved the end of their intimate partnership freeing them both to devote their co-parenting relationship to working well enough together across both homes on behalf of the children,' Bonnell said.
Co-parenting dynamics typically exist somewhere on the spectrum and may change over time, she said. Children can 'emerge into adulthood whole and healthy' regardless of where parents find themselves on the continuum.
Interesting: Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell are embracing free-range parenting. What is that?
How to successfully co-parent
The first step in developing the foundation for a good co-parenting relationship is a thoughtful parenting plan, Bonnell said.
It also takes emotional maturity – 'the capacity to grieve the loss of the intimate partnership, relinquishing dreams that surround being part of an original family and allow the future to be whole and healthy,' she said.
This emotional maturity should include letting go of any resentment, anger and contempt toward a former partner so it doesn't indirectly affect the children. Responsible communication – regarding sports, academics, healthcare and the future – is also key to a successful co-parenting relationship.
Parents should avoid telling children 'adult explanations' of their separation or divorce that can impact how they view their parents, Bonnell said. Children also suffer if they lose their relationship with one parent or if they feel "caught in the middle" of their parents' conflict.
'Divorce is a shift in family structure that involves important change and loss – that said, divorce is not a trauma,' she said. 'What makes divorce a trauma for children is when they are put in impossible situations between their parents, when they are used as pawns or living in ongoing, toxic conflict between their parents.'
Living room or bedroom kid? What it says about your family dynamic
You don't need two to tango
The bulk of parents want what's best for their children and simply need information, support and skills to help coparenting, Bonnell said. But some exes are toxic and prolong conflict that affects children.
Unfortunately, there's not much a parent can do to change their ex-partner's behavior unless it crosses the line to violence or other misconduct that can be addressed in the legal system.
But the good thing about co-parenting is that you don't always need a cooperative ex-partner for it to be successful, Bonnell said.
'Skillful co-parenting doesn't actually need both parents to work together,' she said. 'One parent can commit to healthy, skillful co-parenting regardless of their child's other parent's interest or willingness to participate.'
As long as the parent cares for their children and listens to them, while providing warmth, structure and healthy boundaries, they're able to successfully co-parent regardless of how the other parent responds.
'It's not a question of whether you'll co-parent,' she said. 'The question is how skillfully you will co-parent.'
Adrianna Rodriguez at adrodriguez@usatoday.com.
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New Hampshire city in 'Jumanji' marks 30th anniversary with animal costume race
Madeline Murphy remembers the instructions she was given on the set of 'Jumanji' when she was an extra some 30 years ago: 'Pretend you're frightened and you're screaming because an elephant's coming after you.' So, that's what she did in the Central Square of Keene, New Hampshire, running back and forth, over and over, on a long day in November 1994. 'I was pretty tired by the end of the day, and it was cold," said Murphy, 61. She got a check for $60.47 — and several seconds of screen time. Murphy was one of about 125 extras cast in the classic Robin Williams film, which is marking its 30th anniversary. It's spawned several sequels, including one planned for next year. The city of about 23,000 people in the southwestern corner of the state is celebrating its ties to 'Jumanji' this weekend. A featured event is a 'Rhino Rumble Road Race' saluting the film's stampede scenes of elephants, rhinos and zebras on Saturday. Runners in inflatable animal costumes are sprinting about a quarter mile (less than half a kilometer) around the square. There's also a cast party, a parade, and a scavenger hunt, among other events. Based on the 1981 children's book by Chris Van Allsburg about a mysterious jungle adventure board game, the movie version of 'Jumanji' is set in the fictional small town of Brantford, New Hampshire. Veteran location manager Dow Griffith was crisscrossing New England in search of the right spot. A coffee lover who grew up in Seattle, he recalled feeling desperate one day for a good brew. He was a bit east of Keene at the time, and someone suggested a shop that was near the square. 'I took my cherished cup of double dry cappuccino out to the front porch, took a sip, looked to my left — and by God — there was the place I had been looking for!" he told The Associated Press. 'So really, we have coffee to thank for the whole thing.' 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When Williams died by suicide in 2014, people left flowers and photos beneath a painted 'Parrish Shoes' wall sign advertising a fictional business left over from 'Jumanji." Former Keene police officer Joe Collins, who was assigned to watch over then-child actors Kirsten Dunst and Bradley Pierce, also died by suicide, last year. Festival organizers planned a discussion about mental health and suicide prevention to pay tribute to Williams and Collins. 'I think Robin would have been impressed with that,' said Murphy, who met Williams and shook his hand.
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New Hampshire city in 'Jumanji' marks 30th anniversary with animal costume race
Madeline Murphy remembers the instructions she was given on the set of 'Jumanji' when she was an extra some 30 years ago: 'Pretend you're frightened and you're screaming because an elephant's coming after you.' So, that's what she did in the Central Square of Keene, New Hampshire, running back and forth, over and over, on a long day in November 1994. 'I was pretty tired by the end of the day, and it was cold," said Murphy, 61. She got a check for $60.47 — and several seconds of screen time. Murphy was one of about 125 extras cast in the classic Robin Williams film, which is marking its 30th anniversary. It's spawned several sequels, including one planned for next year. The city of about 23,000 people in the southwestern corner of the state is celebrating its ties to 'Jumanji' this weekend. A featured event is a 'Rhino Rumble Road Race' saluting the film's stampede scenes of elephants, rhinos and zebras on Saturday. Runners in inflatable animal costumes are sprinting about a quarter mile (less than half a kilometer) around the square. There's also a cast party, a parade, and a scavenger hunt, among other events. Keene gets picked thanks to coffee craving Based on the 1981 children's book by Chris Van Allsburg about a mysterious jungle adventure board game, the movie version of 'Jumanji' is set in the fictional small town of Brantford, New Hampshire. Veteran location manager Dow Griffith was crisscrossing New England in search of the right spot. A coffee lover who grew up in Seattle, he recalled feeling desperate one day for a good brew. He was a bit east of Keene at the time, and someone suggested a shop that was near the square. 'I took my cherished cup of double dry cappuccino out to the front porch, took a sip, looked to my left — and by God — there was the place I had been looking for!" he told The Associated Press. 'So really, we have coffee to thank for the whole thing.' Scenes were filmed at the square that fall and the following spring. The fall scenes show a present-day town that had declined. Extras played homeless people and looters, in addition to panicked runners fleeing from the jungle animals. Joanne Hof, now 78, had needed her son's help to spot herself behind the elephants, running with her hands up. Hof, a reading specialist, bought a videotape of 'Jumanji' and showed it to the kids she worked with. 'They were very impressed that I was in the movie,' she said. The spring scenes, appearing early in the film, depict the town in 1969. Extras drove classic cars around the pristine-looking square and others walked around, dressed for that time period. 'I told the makeup person, 'Do you know how to do a French twist?'" recalled Kate Beetle, 74, of Alstead, who said she can be seen for "a micro-second" crossing a street. 'They just found me the right lady's suit and right flat shoes, and then the hair is kind of what I suspect did it.' The city helped transform itself The 'Jumanji' crews worked well with the city in getting the permits to transform Central Square into a dilapidated, neglected piece of public property, recalled Patty Little, who recently retired as Keene's clerk. 'They brought in old, dead shrubbery and threw it around and made the paint peel on the gazebo,' she said. Items such as parking meters and lilac bushes were removed and a large Civil War-era statue was brought in to cover a fountain. Graffiti was on the walls and crumpled vehicles in the stampede scene were anchored in place. Everything was restored, and fresh flowers were brought in the following spring, she said. Crews spent a total of about a week in the city for both settings. Little, whose classic 1961 Ambassador is caught on camera, could see everything happening from her office window. 'Did I get a lot of work done? I don't know during those days,' she said. Locals watch and meet Robin Williams A crowd turned out to watch a long-haired, bearded Williams run down the street in a leaf-adorned tunic. In the movie, he had just been freed from the game that had trapped him as a boy for years. 'He's shorter than I thought he was!' one viewer said, according to local chronicler Susan MacNeil's book, 'When Jumanji Came to Keene." Others said, 'He has great legs — muscular, isn't he? But so hairy!" and 'Isn't he freezing dressed like that?" The mayor honored him with a key to the city. Williams, noticing the mayor was a bit shorter, suddenly announced at the presentation, ''I am the mayor of Munchkinland,'' with a voice to match, City Councilor Randy Filiault recalled. He stayed in character for 15 to 20 minutes, 'just bouncing off the walls," approaching people in the audience and pulling their hats over their eyes. Eventually, he stopped, ending with a solemn 'Thank you,' Filiault said. 'I am really seeing something cool here,' Filiault remembered thinking. 'How fortunate we were.' When Williams died by suicide in 2014, people left flowers and photos beneath a painted 'Parrish Shoes' wall sign advertising a fictional business left over from 'Jumanji." Former Keene police officer Joe Collins, who was assigned to watch over then-child actors Kirsten Dunst and Bradley Pierce, also died by suicide, last year. Festival organizers planned a discussion about mental health and suicide prevention to pay tribute to Williams and Collins.
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New Hampshire city in ‘Jumanji' marks 30th anniversary with animal costume race
Madeline Murphy remembers the instructions she was given on the set of 'Jumanji' when she was an extra some 30 years ago: 'Pretend you're frightened and you're screaming because an elephant's coming after you.' So, that's what she did in the Central Square of Keene, New Hampshire, running back and forth, over and over, on a long day in November 1994. 'I was pretty tired by the end of the day, and it was cold,' said Murphy, 61. She got a check for $60.47 — and several seconds of screen time. Murphy was one of about 125 extras cast in the classic Robin Williams film, which is marking its 30th anniversary. It's spawned several sequels , including one planned for next year. The city of about 23,000 people in the southwestern corner of the state is celebrating its ties to 'Jumanji' this weekend. A featured event is a 'Rhino Rumble Road Race' saluting the film's stampede scenes of elephants, rhinos and zebras on Saturday. Runners in inflatable animal costumes are sprinting about a quarter mile (less than half a kilometer) around the square. There's also a cast party, a parade, and a scavenger hunt, among other events. Keene gets picked thanks to coffee craving Based on the 1981 children's book by Chris Van Allsburg about a mysterious jungle adventure board game, the movie version of 'Jumanji' is set in the fictional small town of Brantford, New Hampshire. Veteran location manager Dow Griffith was crisscrossing New England in search of the right spot. A coffee lover who grew up in Seattle, he recalled feeling desperate one day for a good brew. He was a bit east of Keene at the time, and someone suggested a shop that was near the square. 'I took my cherished cup of double dry cappuccino out to the front porch, took a sip, looked to my left — and by God — there was the place I had been looking for!' he told The Associated Press. 'So really, we have coffee to thank for the whole thing.' Scenes were filmed at the square that fall and the following spring. The fall scenes show a present-day town that had declined. Extras played homeless people and looters, in addition to panicked runners fleeing from the jungle animals. Joanne Hof, now 78, had needed her son's help to spot herself behind the elephants, running with her hands up. Hof, a reading specialist, bought a videotape of 'Jumanji' and showed it to the kids she worked with. 'They were very impressed that I was in the movie,' she said. The spring scenes, appearing early in the film, depict the town in 1969. Extras drove classic cars around the pristine-looking square and others walked around, dressed for that time period. 'I told the makeup person, 'Do you know how to do a French twist?'' recalled Kate Beetle, 74, of Alstead, who said she can be seen for 'a micro-second' crossing a street. 'They just found me the right lady's suit and right flat shoes, and then the hair is kind of what I suspect did it.' The city helped transform itself The 'Jumanji' crews worked well with the city in getting the permits to transform Central Square into a dilapidated, neglected piece of public property, recalled Patty Little, who recently retired as Keene's clerk. 'They brought in old, dead shrubbery and threw it around and made the paint peel on the gazebo,' she said. Items such as parking meters and lilac bushes were removed and a large Civil War-era statue was brought in to cover a fountain. Graffiti was on the walls and crumpled vehicles in the stampede scene were anchored in place. Everything was restored, and fresh flowers were brought in the following spring, she said. Crews spent a total of about a week in the city for both settings. Little, whose classic 1961 Ambassador is caught on camera, could see everything happening from her office window. 'Did I get a lot of work done? I don't know during those days,' she said. Locals watch and meet Robin Williams A crowd turned out to watch a long-haired, bearded Williams run down the street in a leaf-adorned tunic. In the movie, he had just been freed from the game that had trapped him as a boy for years. 'He's shorter than I thought he was!' one viewer said, according to local chronicler Susan MacNeil's book, 'When Jumanji Came to Keene.' Others said, 'He has great legs — muscular, isn't he? But so hairy!' and 'Isn't he freezing dressed like that?' The mayor honored him with a key to the city. Williams, noticing the mayor was a bit shorter, suddenly announced at the presentation, ''I am the mayor of Munchkinland,'' with a voice to match, City Councilor Randy Filiault recalled. He stayed in character for 15 to 20 minutes, 'just bouncing off the walls,' approaching people in the audience and pulling their hats over their eyes. Eventually, he stopped, ending with a solemn 'Thank you,' Filiault said. 'I am really seeing something cool here,' Filiault remembered thinking. 'How fortunate we were.' When Williams died by suicide in 2014 , people left flowers and photos beneath a painted 'Parrish Shoes' wall sign advertising a fictional business left over from 'Jumanji.' Former Keene police officer Joe Collins, who was assigned to watch over then-child actors Kirsten Dunst and Bradley Pierce, also died by suicide, last year. Festival organizers planned a discussion about mental health and suicide prevention to pay tribute to Williams and Collins. 'I think Robin would have been impressed with that,' said Murphy, who met Williams and shook his hand. ___ In the U.S., the national suicide and crisis lifeline is available by calling or texting 988. There is also an online chat at Error! Sorry, there was an error processing your request. There was a problem with the recaptcha. Please try again. You may unsubscribe at any time. By signing up, you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . 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