One woman, two ‘husbands': The KZN mom defying norms and challenging SA's marriage laws
@thepinkpitbull/Instagram
South African woman living with two husbands, Jo-Leen Geldenhuys, advocates for polyandry's legalisation despite societal backlash and public scrutiny.
Currently, South Africa's marital laws permit polygamy (men marrying multiple women) but don't recognise polyandry, sparking ongoing debates and cultural resistance.
Geldenhuys uses her platform and lifestyle shine a light on polyandry, promote marriage equality, and empower others to embrace unconventional relationships.
The South African woman pushing boundaries and challenging marital norms has taken her journey one step further—by marrying her second husband, albeit symbolically.
No stranger to headlines and ruffling feathers, Jo-Leen Geldenhuys, 34, is well aware of what people have to say about her decision to live with and love two husbands.
A few weeks ago, she took a bold stance against societal norms after saying 'I do' to the second love of her life, Santini Lee, 38, who she met at her boxing club while taking a break from her first husband, Jack Geldenhuys, 37.
The symbolic wedding may not carry legal weight, but Geldenhuys, known as 'The Pink Pitbull', remains fiercely dedicated to challenging South Africa's current marital laws, which prohibit polyandry—the right of a woman to marry more than one man.
Conversely, polygamy, which allows men to marry multiple women, is legally recognised under particular contexts, such as customary marriages.
Confirming this, advocate Suzette Gordon shares, 'The Recognition of Customary Marriages Act 120 of 1998 recognises polygamous marriages but does not recognise polyandrous ones.'
This has been a point of contention for years, with many gender equality activists advocating for polyandry to be legalised in the interest of equality and choice.
In 2021, their proposal was included in a document—officially known as a Green Paper—that the government released for public comment as it embarked on the most significant overhaul of marriage laws since white-minority rule ended in 1994.
'It's important to remember that this Green Paper sets to uphold human rights, and we cannot lose sight of that,' said Charlene May, an advocate at the Women's Legal Centre, a law firm that fights for women's rights, told BBC at the time.
However, the proposal ignited a wave of backlash from various quarters. One vocal critic, well-known polygamist Musa Mseleku, argued that the legalisation of polyandry would, 'destroy African culture.'
'What about the children of those people? How will they know their identity?' asks Mr Mseleku, who stars in a South African reality TV show about his polygamous family.
He further criticised the notion of role reversals in traditional customs.
'The woman cannot now take the role of the man. It's unheard of. Will the woman now pay lobola [bride price] for the man? Will the man be expected to take her surname?'
The reality TV star, who spoke to TshisaLive at the time, went on to add that men who accept polyandry are 'weak.'
Despite his sentiments, and many others similar to his, advocate Gordon reminds us that discussions around the legalisation of polyandry in South Africa are still under way.
She shares with News24, 'There are ongoing discussions about reviewing this issue, though no significant progress has been made.'
For Geldenhuys, the fight is personal.
The human rights activist, who currently lives in La Mercy, Durban, with her two husbands and four children, says that polyandry is more than a legal issue - it is also a cultural and societal issue.
She hopes that her harmonious arrangement will shine a spotlight on polyandry and allow people to do what works for them.
Speaking to YOU earlier this year, Geldenhuys revealed that her children, who she shares with first husband Jack, are all very accepting of their alternative lifestyle.
Opening up about the living arrangements, she reveals that they have their own rooms and don't generally have a schedule when it comes to intimacy.
'Sometimes it's Jack and me alone, sometimes it's Santini and me. There are also times when it's the three of us together but Jack and Santini don't touch each other then - just me.'
They have also grown accustomed to people staring at them during trips to the beach or while grocery shopping, but she takes it in her stride, often adding a little humour to the situation by kissing both men or touching them lovingly.
She shared photos from her wedding to Santini on Instagram last week, which took place at Salmon Beach on 26 April.
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Jo-Leen Geldenhuys (@pinkpitbull_thriplelationship)
She often uses the platform to open up about her 'thriplelationship' and shares that other couples who are afraid to speak out often contact her. This, she shares with The North Coast Courier, further fuels her passion for equality within the country's marital laws.
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