As a gay couple, we worried about acceptance in conservative Michigan town
My husband and I were married two years ago this August, after dating for 11 years. Neither of us had been in a hurry to tie the knot. We've always had a loving and easy relationship, and formalizing it didn't seem all that important.That changed in June 2022, when I was infected with COVID-19 and double pneumonia. After spending nine days in the hospital, I returned home to recover. As my husband was hooking up my oxygen, it struck me — this was the most important person in the world to me. He was, and still is, the kindest person I know. I looked at him and said, 'Do you want to get married?' He said, 'Sure.'The next year, we had a small wedding attended by close friends and family, and we started to plan for the future. One of those plans included buying a cottage on a lake. We focused our search on the Irish Hills region of Michigan, not far from our home in Detroit. But we ended up falling in love with a house on a beautiful and peaceful lake in Hillsdale, Michigan, just outside the Irish Hills.
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To be honest, we were surprised. So were most of our friends.
Hillsdale is known as one of the most conservative areas in Michigan. Our friendship circle in Detroit is diverse, and mostly leans progressive. After the purchase, I had questions: Would we fit in? Would we be accepted as a gay couple? Would we feel welcome, and find other LGBTQ+ people? Yes, we probably should've asked those questions before buying. But the truth is, we were taken in by the countryside's beauty — we both grew up in rural areas, and it felt like coming home.
Now, after 15 months in Hillsdale, we couldn't be happier. We've built a community of friends from across the political spectrum, and have met other LGBTQ+ couples on a nearby lake.
One of our neighbors is Japanese, and we trade information about favorite restaurant and grocery stores in the metro Detroit area. And the most important lesson I've learned? Our neighbors in Hillsdale are just like our neighbors in Detroit.
They're kind. They work in all sorts of jobs. They have families. They look out for each other — and for us. Our neighbors in Hillsdale ― like in Detroit ― have keys to our house, and take the trash out or bring the can up when we aren't there.
We realized we don't have to necessarily be in a community of LGBTQ+ people. We just needed to be in an accepting community.
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Soon after buying the house, there was a storm and tornado warning. I contacted one of our neighbors to check on the house. She texted back an image of a rainbow over our house and the comment, 'It must be a sign of welcome to the neighborhood.'
In today's uncertain world, we've found a sense of comfort here that mirrors what we feel in Detroit. Our experience in Hillsdale has challenged the assumptions I once held about 'red states' vs. 'blue states,' or conservatives vs. liberals. Most people, it turns out, fall somewhere in the middle. Some lean left on certain issues; others lean right. But what I've seen is that at the end of the day, what really matters is how we treat each other.
I hope that one day soon, we can all move past the constant divisions and labels. Let's focus on relationships, on building community, and — perhaps most importantly — simply being kind to one another.Brad Dick is a proud gay man living with his husband in Detroit's East English Village, and part time in Hillsdale, Michigan. He spent 18 years with the City of Detroit, most recently as Chief Operating Officer. He joined Wayne State University in the fall of 2024 as Sr. Associate Vice President and Deputy Chief Business Officer.
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This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Michigan gay couple finds home in conservative Hillsdale | Opinion
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