My sister took her life after online abuse at 21 – I will never be the same
If my sister Aimee and I were a Venn diagram, the internet was our intersecting centre. We grew up in Southampton and spent every summer in north Turkey, in the small coastal village Edincik, where our mum is from. While we shared the same interests – music, fashion and food – our tastes were different, and online was where they flourished.
I always loved second-hand clothes, having practically been raised in charity shops. I grew up cutting out and sticking pages out of Elle magazine to my bedroom walls, and was obsessed with America's Next Top Model, meaning I could name designer brands more confidently than recalling my eight times tables. I was drawn to the early YouTube pioneers – Zoella, Glozell and Jenna Marbles – and I looked up to them for being fully themselves online, at an age where I felt unseen and misunderstood, like so many teenagers do.
Aimee, on the other hand, was far more unique – she'd found out she was neurodivergent in her teens. She was way ahead in terms of her taste in music: as a 14-year-old, she was fixated by Pharrell Williams's bands N.E.R.D and The Neptunes, and her curious mind led her to discover the likes of Sade, Kelis, Stevie Wonder, Ice Cube, Tyler, The Creator and Kaytranada.
As a teen, Aimee taught herself Japanese, and immersed herself in the food and culture of the country, becoming obsessed with sushi and artists such as Takashi Murakami, which led to her travelling to Japan solo when she was just 18.
Sharing my love for thrifting, Aimee sourced rare, collectable Pharrell merchandise, saving up all of her money from part-time jobs to bid in international eBay wars against veteran collectors. She always won.
Aimee was brave and bold, and unapologetic in her passions, despite not sharing them with others at school, which marked her as different at an age where being cool meant following the crowd. This was what drew her to social media. Having faced bullying at school, like many neurodivergent teens, Aimee was attracted to online communities that shared her interests. She discovered Grindin', a forum for Pharrell fans. We were glad that she had found a community where she finally felt accepted, and had a space where she could fully express herself and connect with others.
Being Gen Z, part of the guinea-pig generation that grew up as children without smartphones but who then got them as teens, both my sister Aimee and I were avid users of social media from its early inception. We would spend hours as teens scrolling on Tumblr, photographing each other in our best outfits on holiday for Instagram, messaging friends on Snapchat. It wasn't the centre of our world, but it occupied a huge part of our adolescence: our online profiles were an extension of ourselves.
But in the pandemic, this social media community soon became a double-edged sword. Aimee was at the tricky in-between stage of having finished college and not knowing her next step, and she retreated further online during lockdown. Being cut off from the things that she loved doing – going to art exhibitions, attending gigs and festivals, and eating out with her boyfriend – drastically impacted Aimee's mental health.
Spending more and more time in her room, she became withdrawn and removed from us. She split from her boyfriend, stopped going out and was no longer interested in the treasured Pharrell-related belongings she had invested so many years collecting. When I'd try to connect with her, or spark a conversation, she seemed distant. This went on for a year. When she was at her most unwell, she was drawn into the dark side of the internet.
In October 2022, the unimaginable happened. My parents were met with a knock on the door from two police officers informing us that Aimee had died. She had been found in a hotel room more than 60 miles from our home town, with a stranger from the United States. We later found out from police that Aimee had been on a partners thread, where members of this forum seek out others to end their lives with. The man who she was found with had been with Aimee for 11 days in the hotel room, and had told authorities he was 'working' during that time.
All I can remember from the weeks that followed is a blur of words that seemed wrong being used in the same sentence as Aimee's name; words you only ever hear in crime drama series: investigation, incriminating evidence, assisted suicide, inquest, coroner, family liaison officer. It was clear to me that there was so much more beneath the surface to uncover, how none of the piecemeal bits of information the police told us about the circumstances surrounding Aimee's sudden death added up.
We still have countless unanswered questions, questions detectives have failed to answer, and which the pending inquest may not even explore. As a family, we have learnt more about the circumstances of Aimee's death from journalists than we have from the police.
Sadly, we only learnt what was happening in her online world after it was too late. Aimee was just 21 when we lost her. We found out after she died, that Aimee had been on a forum which actively encourages people to take their lives, instructing them and even providing the means for them to do so. This forum has taken at least 50 UK lives, including my sister. From looking at the forum myself, I can see just how easy it is to end up in a rabbit hole of despair, where vulnerable users are told their loved ones don't care about them.
Essentially, Aimee was radicalised by a toxic network into taking a decision that she could never return from. These are known as 'Com networks', and the National Crime Agency has even set up a taskforce dedicated to investigating men who target vulnerable women and girls and pressure them into acts of self-harm.
Being informed by police that Aimee died in a hotel room with a stranger who she met on this forum, and who flew from the US to witness her death, still haunts me. Knowing that Aimee's vulnerability was preyed on, and that others like her could fall victim to the same circumstances, is why, as a journalist and campaigner, I now channel my efforts into advocating for online safety and tech accountability.
Since losing Aimee, I've spoken in the European parliament, met with the UK Tech Secretary with fellow bereaved families, protested outside Meta HQ, signed letters to the Prime Minister, all to advocate for better safeguards online. Speaking up about sibling grief and sudden loss is immensely hard and takes a toll, and sometimes I guiltily wish that this wasn't how I was spending my 20s. None of this will bring my sister back, but even if speaking up saves one life, then it is worth it.
Until I lost my sister, I never knew the scale of risk that exists online, and the number of bereaved families who are fighting to tackle them. Being part of that fight, I now know that people who are vulnerable offline – children, women, people with mental health issues, neurodivergent people – are more vulnerable online, too. We urgently need a greater public awareness of the scale of harm already taking place, if we are to build a safer digital world for young people.
Most children today will experience some type of online harm. What's vital is that they know they can communicate openly and honestly with you about their experiences. Make sure your children know that it is not their fault if something bad happens to them online, and encourage them to come to you or a teacher if something has upset or scared them on social media.
The Online Safety Act is at a pivotal point in its enforcement right now. You can email your MP to demand that platforms of all sizes are subject to the fullest force of the Act.
While I don't think a smartphone ban is the solution to online harm, it will ensure that children have to best chance to experience their childhood fully in the offline world. This is vital if they are to grow into confident, resilient and empowered young people. There is great strength in numbers – the more parents who support a delay in social media use, the better.
R;pple is a secure and confidential free web extension tool that intercepts online searches for self-harm and suicide, diverting users away from content that puts them at risk. Created by Alice Hendy MBE, who lost her brother Josh to suicide, R;pple is a life-saving tool that proves technology can be designed with user wellbeing at the core.
Logging Off: The Human Cost of Our Digital World by Adele Zeynep Walton is (Trapeze, £20) is available now.
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Newsweek
2 hours ago
- Newsweek
Labrador Who Never Misses Mail Lady's Visit Named Pet of the Week
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Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
Meghan Markle, Prince Harry leaving the Royal Family: A full timeline
(NewsNation) — It has been more than five years since Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle, announced they would be stepping down from their royal duties. But what caused that decision, and what has the couple been up to since? Here is the full timeline of their departure and what happened following it: January 8, 2020: Markle and Harry use Instagram to announce that they will be stepping down from their roles as senior royals. The post says: 'After many months of reflection and internal discussions, we have chosen to make a transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution. We intend to step back as 'senior' members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen. It is with your encouragement, particularly over the last few years, that we feel prepared to make this adjustment. We now plan to balance our time between the United Kingdom and North America, continuining our honour our duty to the Queen, the Commonwealth, and our patronages.' They also revealed a new website that shows how they plan to distance themselves from the Royal Family. That included: Engaging with grassroots media organizations and young, up-and-coming journalists Inviting specialist media to certain events to give greater access to their cause-driven activities Providing access to credible outlets that are focused on objective news reporting Continuing to share information with the public through their official communications channels No longer being in the Royal Rota system There were reports that the Royal Family didn't know about the couple's decision beforehand. BBC News correspondent Jonny Dymond tweeted, 'BBC understands that no other member of the Royal Family was consulted before Harry and Meghan issued their personal statement tonight. The Palace is understood to be 'disappointed.'' Princess Kate pulls out of Royal Ascot appearance last minute Then, Buckingham Palace released a statement, saying, 'Discussion with The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are at an early stage. We understand the desire to take a different approach, but these are complicated issues that will take time to work through.' January 9, 2020: A source tells US Weekly that Prince William was 'blindsided' by Harry and Markle's decision. 'William is incredibly hurt, but at the same time, he has his own family to focus on and is trying to move forward with his life,' the source said. Many other sources told the Daily Mail that the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family were 'deeply disappointed' by the news. One source said, 'The level of deceit has been staggering and everyone from the top of the royal household to the bottom feels like they have been stabbed in the back.' Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo drama over Bluebird Cafe photos denied It is then reported that Harry tried meeting with Queen Elizabeth about the couple's plans, but was denied by her staff. According to the Evening Standard, Harry 'originally contacted Prince Charles about spending more time in Canada and America just before Christmas,' even asking for a 'summit with the Queen at Sandringham.' It is said that Queen Elizabeth agreed to the meeting, but it was blocked by her staff. January 11, 2020: A source tells US Weekly that Markle and Harry had to make their announcement when they did because The Sun had allegedly found out it was coming and was going to leak it. The source claimed, 'It was the paper's front page hours before the official announcement, so Harry and Meghan technically didn't beat them to it.' January 12, 2020: According to The Sunday Times, Harry told a friend, 'I've put my arm around my brother all our lives, and I can't do that anymore; we're separate entities. All we can do, and all I can do, is try and support them and hope that the time comes when we're all singing from the same page. I want everyone to play on the team.' January 13, 2020: Harry and William issue a joint statement through their spokespeople. That statement reads: 'Despite clear denials, a false story ran in a UK newspaper today speculating about the relationship between The Duke of Sussex and The Duke of Cambridge. For brothers who care so deeply about the issues surrounding mental health, the use of inflammatory language in this way is offensive and potentially harmful.' Later, Harry revealed that he had no idea that statement was being made. He said, 'I couldn't believe it. No one had asked me. No one had asked my permission to put my name to a statement like that… within four hours, they were happy to lie to protect my brother, and yet, for three years, they were never willing to tell the truth to us.' After that joint statement, Queen Elizabeth released her first official statement, saying, in part, 'My family and I are entirely supportive of Harry and Meghan's desire to create a new life as a young family. Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working Members of the Royal Family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life…' The statement ended with, 'These are complex matters for my family to resolve, and there is some more work to be done, but I have asked for final decisions to be reached in the coming days.' January 18, 2020: The Queen releases a statement saying that she had come to an agreement with the couple and 'Harry, Meghan, and Archie will always be much-loved members of the family.' She also addressed the scrutiny that the couple had received and thanked them 'for all their dedicated work across this country, the Commonwealth and beyond…' Terry Moran comes out on top after being axed by ABC The agreement reportedly involved Harry and Markle giving up their royal titles, no longer receiving public funds and paying back the country for their Frogmore Cottage renovations. They also couldn't represent the Queen and had to start paying rent on their cottage. That agreement was only set to last a year, according to a source, and then it would be revisited. February 22, 2020: The Queen decides in an order that Markle and Harry can no longer use the word 'royal' in their branding, which meant their website and Instagram names would have to be changed. In response, Markel and Harry said: 'While there is not any jurisdiction by The Monarchy or Cabinet Office over the use of the word 'Royal' overseas, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex do not intend to use 'Sussex Royal' or any iteration of the word 'Royal' in any territory (either within the U.K. or otherwise) when the transition occurs Spring 2020.' 'The trademark applications that had been filed as protective measures and that reflected the same standard trademarking requests as done for The Royal Foundation of The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been removed.' March 3, 2020: Harry and Queen Elizabeth meet for a 4-hour conversation where the Queen reportedly offers the couple the chance to come back if they ever change their minds. March 9, 2020: Markle and Harry attend Commonwealth Day, which will be their last royal event before they step down from their royal duties. March 27, 2020: Markle and Harry moved to Los Angeles after briefly living in Canada. Harry later spoke with Oprah about their time in Canada, saying, 'When we were in Canada, I had three conversations with my grandmother and two conversations with my father before he stopped taking my calls… I went to all the places which I thought I should go to ask for help. We both did. Separately and together.' Michelle Obama on being 'glad' she didn't have a son: 'He would've been a Barack Obama' March 30, 2020: One day before they officially step down from their royal duties, the couple posts on their @SussexRoyal Instagram account to announce it will no longer be in use. 'While you may not see us here, the work continues… Until then, please take good care of yourselves and one another,' their final post said. July 2020: A few months after officially leaving their royal duties, Markle and Harry moved into a nine-bedroom mansion that was reportedly purchased for $14 million. Anne Burrell gave Bobby Flay a gift that he'll 'have forever' One source told 'They were craving a smaller community and a slower pace — Montecito is very mellow, a charming little town, and the Santa Barbara [area] offers an ideal lifestyle that they're looking forward to.' The couple also announced partnerships with Spotify and Netflix. March 7, 2021: Nearly one year after the couple stepped down from the Royal Family, they sit down with Oprah Winfrey to talk about their time as working royals and what they have experienced since then. During that interview, Meghan revealed that, within the Royal Family, there were 'concerns and conversations about how dark [Archie's] skin might be when he's born.' She also spoke about 'being silenced' by the family, saying she was told to give a 'no comment' on questions that were directed toward her once her relationship with Harry became public. Markle told Winfrey, 'That was really hard to reconcile because it was only once we were married and everything started to really worsen that I came to understand that not only was I not being protected, but that they were willing to lie to protect other members of the family. They weren't willing to tell the truth to protect me and my husband.' June 2 through June 5, 2022: The Queen was celebrated for her 70-year reign with parades, a concert and more. Markle and Harry traveled from their home in California to the United Kingdom for her Jubilee, but they weren't seen in public spending time with immediate family members. On June 3, Harry and Markle attended the service of thanksgiving that honored Queen Elizabeth, and sat in the second row with Princess Eugenie, Princess Beatrice and their husbands. Ariana Grande mourns death of 'beloved' grandmother September 10, 2022: After the death of Queen Elizabeth, Markle and Harry joined Prince William and Kate Middleton to greet mourners at Windsor Castle. According to one of PEOPLE's royal sources, William believed that this was 'an important show of unity at an incredibly difficult time for the family.' Once King Charles became the monarch, Archie and Lilibet, the couple's children, were entitled to royal titles, but no changes were announced. December 8, 2022: The 'Harry & Meghan' docuseries is released, with the first three episodes focusing on their early relationship and royal life. 'Most of the time that I was in the U.K., I rarely wore color. There was thought in that,' Markle said, saying she didn't want to stand out. Harry also talked about the press, saying they eventually had to take legal action against Associated Newspapers because a private letter that Meghan wrote to her father was published. Markle said that the stress from that situation caused her to have a miscarriage. Harry said, 'I believe my wife suffered a miscarriage because of what the Mail did. I watched the whole thing. Now, do we absolutely know that the miscarriage was created… caused by that? Of course we don't… [but] bearing in mind the stress that caused the lack of sleep and the timing of the pregnancy, how many weeks in she was, I can say from what I saw, that miscarriage was created by what they were trying to do to her.' December 15, 2022: During the last three episodes of the docuseries, Harry claimed that William had a 'terrifying' argument with William and King Charles during the Sandringham Summit. 'It was terrifying to have my brother scream and shout at me, and my father say things that simply weren't true, and my grandmother quietly sit there and sort of take it all in,' Harry said. Mariah Carey trolls popular YouTuber MrBeast: 'I don't know him' January 2, 2023: Prince Harry sits down with Anderson Cooper and says he won't ever return as a full-time member of the Royal Family. Harry was later asked if he would attend King Charles' Coronation if he were invited. He said, 'There's a lot that can happen between now and then. But the door is always open. The ball is in their court. There's a lot to be discussed, and I really hope that they're willing to sit down and talk about it.' March 1, 2023: Markle and Harry are asked to move out of Frogmore Cottage. A source told that the couple wasn't trying to fight the decision because they were happy raising their children in California. April 12, 2023: Buckingham Palace announces that Prince Harry will be at the Coronation of King Charles without Markle or his children. The statement said, 'Buckingham Palace is pleased to confirm that The Duke of Sussex will attend the Coronation Service at Westminster Abbey on 6th May. The Duchess of Sussex will remain in California with Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet.' Dolly Parton to receive honorary Oscar for humanitarian work June 2023: Prince Harry and Markle officially leave Frogmore Cottage, according to Sir Michael Stevens, Keeper of the Privy Purse. Stevens said, 'We can confirm that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have vacated Frogmore Cottage. The Duke and Duchess have repaid the expenditure incurred by the Sovereign Grant in relation to the renovation of Frogmore Cottage, thus leaving the Crown with a greatly enhanced asset.' February 2024: Following King Charles' cancer diagnosis, The Associated Press revealed that he had a brief reunion with Prince Harry. Harry was in London less than a day after Buckingham Palace announced his diagnosis. Streaming viewership overtakes cable and broadcast for first time March 2024: Kate Middleton announces that she is also struggling with a cancer diagnosis, and according to NewsNation's Paula Froelich, Harry and Markle were denied a visit with her. The source said there was 'no way Kate or William would allow them a private audience.' January 2025: Harry is given $12.3 million for his case against The Sun, which admitted to hacking him and apologized to him. His lawyer said, 'In a monumental victory today, News UK admitted that the Sun, the flagship title for Rupert Murdoch's U.K. media empire, has indeed engaged in illegal practices.' April 2025: Froelich is told exclusively that the rift between Harry and King Charles is widening as Charles allegedly refused to see Harry while he was in the U.K. What is Ryan Reynolds' net worth? 'There was a window where King Charles and Harry could have met, but they didn't,' the insider revealed. They also said that it was King Charles who chose not to meet. '(King Charles) is very upset over Harry's insistence on fighting the government for police protection. He feels Harry knew what he signed up for when he and Meghan left the monarchy, but Harry being Harry just can't accept it.' Harry lost his appeal to restore the U.K. government-funded security detail at the beginning of May. June 2025: The couple is still living in Montecito, with Markle recently rejoining Instagram and sharing a video (that has now gone viral) of her and Harry dancing in the delivery room as they awaited the arrival of Princess Lilibet. Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
‘Fashion murder': Carolyn Bessette Kennedy fans aghast at first images from Netflix series
In fashion, only the real favourites have acronyms. See SJP for Sarah Jessica Parker, ALT for the fashion editor André Leon Talley and – particularly relevant right now – CBK for Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. The wife of John F Kennedy Jr who died in a plane crash in 1999 is sometimes seen as America's answer to Diana, Princess of Wales. Like Diana, she was loved for her style – called minimalist, chic or 'quiet luxury'. Instagram is full of accounts posting archive images of her, influential brands such as The Row, Toteme and Gabriela Hearst design clothes that channel her approach to dressing and there have been books and auctions in recent years. The full extent of the deification became clear this week when images of the actor Sarah Pidgeon as Bessette Kennedy in Ryan Murphy's forthcoming Kennedys Netflix series American Love Story were seen for the first time. In one image on Murphy's Instagram, Pidgeon is pictured wearing a rumpled knee-length brown coat, cropped trousers and black polo neck, with a Birkin bag and bright blond hair, while on-set images show her in a satin midi skirt, Converse and leathery jacket. There was an immediate reaction online, and it's fair to say fans do not approve. 'This is fashion murder,' wrote one in the comments on the Murphy post. 'Whoever styled cbk needs to be fired,' wrote another. Details seem to particularly irk – from the wrong shade of blond (Bessette Kennedy's hair colourist Brad Johns described it as 'too 2024') to the bag. Eagle-eyed observers have noticed it's a Birkin 35, a slight variation from her preferred Birkin 40. Such is the outrage that Murphy, in an interview with the fashion industry newsletter Line Sheet, described the images as a 'work in progress' and clarified that the 'right' items would be swapped in, including that Birkin bag. He admitted that the reaction had taken him by surprise. 'I had no idea that people cared as much as they do, but I guess that's a good thing,' he said. Twenty online experts on Bessette Kennedy's style have been approached to consult on the wardrobe. Murphy, whose work has often taken on real-life figures, from Truman Capote to Joan Crawford, is no stranger to fashion on screen. He made The Assassination of Gianni Versace in 2018 and Halston, about the 70s designer, in 2021. This is the first time, however, that one of his productions has taken on a fashion icon who has citizen archivists logging her every look online. This contrast is the issue, argues the fashion writer Liana Satenstein. 'I don't know if you can include the painstaking research in a miniseries that has such an element of camp to it,' she argues. 'It would be this bizarre dichotomy.' The legend around Bessette Kennedy's style has reached mythical level in the 26 years since her death. A publicist at Calvin Klein, she began dating Kennedy in 1994. The two became the focus of paparazzi, with photographers snapping Bessette Kennedy on the streets of New York wearing labels such as Calvin Klein (then designed by Narciso Rodriguez), Yohji Yamamoto, Prada and Comme des Garçons, but also staples such as jeans, white shirts and polo necks. Fans talk about the way she tailored her jeans and how she removed labels from designer clothing. In an era when personal style is seen as the ultimate status symbol in fashion, it's these details that have made Bessette Kennedy a lodestar. 'It was 'this is me, this is Carolyn, take it or leave it,'' says Sunita Kumar Nair, the author of CBK: Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, a Life in Fashion. Amy Odell, who writes the fashion newsletter Back Row and is working on a biography of Gwyneth Paltrow, says it's in contrast to now. 'Many 'It girls' today have stylists and personal shoppers,' she argues. 'Now, personal style is bought and sold. This was just her taste, how she put herself together every day.' Jack Sehnert runs the @carolynbessette Instagram account, which has 63,000 followers. He says the popularity of Bessette Kennedy archive images grew because they were a tonic to the existing aesthetic. 'Instagram was a barrage of logos and colourful glitz up until about five years ago, when her image started popping up again alongside references from the show Succession,' he argues. 'When the term 'quiet luxury' went viral, who could have possibly been a better poster girl? The striking images we all know resonate with an entirely new generation because of their elegant simplicity.' But with close to three decades of interest in her style, it's become a 'get the look' commodity. 'It goes from real woman to paparazzi shot to an image you see on your screen to a flat lay [of clothing items] to the product that you ultimately buy online,' says Daniel Rogers, the fashion news editor at Vogue. Satenstein agrees. 'We've been taking this woman's existence and putting it on a Pinterest board [for a long time],' she says. 'It's a little sad, because I don't think she had a say in it. [It happened to] Jane Birkin [too] but she passed away later in life, and had some agency over herself.' How should Murphy and his team improve Pidgeon's outfits before the show debuts next year? When asked if she will be consulting on the project, Kumar Nair replies: 'No comment.' But she does say it's 'very smart' to speak to online experts, and suggests also involving those who knew Bessette Kennedy, such as Rodriguez, Calvin Klein and her sister, Lisa. 'I would be semi-humble about it and ask them to talk,' she says: '[Bessette Kennedy] was a major curation herself. So that's how you would have to approach it.'
