Here's how to party like John Lennon

Reader John Mulholland says: 'The nominative determinism gods clearly have a sense of humour, for the BBC reported that a consultant urologist has invented a new product that reduces plastic and simplifies the process for taking urine samples.'
Adds John: 'There cannot be a better name for a man who has, no doubt, inserted many catheters than… Mr Nick Burns-Cox.'
Jarring error
Many years ago reader Robert Menzies was diagnosed as gluten-intolerant.
'Overnight I had to forego most biscuits and cakes,' he says.
'However, I found I could obtain gluten-free flour. My mother duly put this in a large glass container, which she then labelled as 'Glutton Free'.'
'At least she was half right,' adds Robert.
Bonkers buying
Lidl provides a fascinating shopping experience where you are apt to stumble upon the most idiosyncratic items for sale.
A readers recently claimed to have spotted on the shelves, then purchased, a ukulele, a hedge-trimmer and a snorkel.
Ian Noble from Carstairs Village was intrigued by this selection, and says. 'I'm trying to work out which of the items he would use with the snorkel. Maybe he uses both of them with it. Sub-aqua ukulele-playing and underwater hedge-trimming both sound like interesting activities.'
David Donaldson spotted this car parked in Glasgow's Westbourne Gardens. 'This Mini Countryman will definitely get you from A to Z,' he says. 'In other words, the full gamut of destinations.' (Image: Contributed)
Medical mystery
For many years reader Simon Mitchell worked as a GP in a busy practice in Aberdeen, where he was confronted by a wide range of patients.
Simon informed one husky voiced chap that he had laryngitis, which elicited a curious response.
'What on earth is that?' croaked the mystified patient. 'Sounds like some sort of Roman general.'
Beatling about
Strapped-for-cash reader Andy Michaels informed his teenage son that he'd be having a John Lennon-themed birthday party this year.
'What does that mean?' asked his highly suspicious son.
'You'll have to imagine all the people,' said dad.
Captive audience
A chum of reader Susan Peterson used to work as a tutor in a prison where the inmates were attempting to improve their literacy.
Susan once asked her chum how the English teaching job was going.
'Oh, you know,' said the pal, 'it has its prose and cons.'
Communication breakdown
And now for a tragic tale of marital disharmony.
'My wife has threatened to leave me because of my obsession with old-fashioned CB radios,' sighs reader Brian Munro. 'I guess our marriage is over, over.'

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Metro

4 hours ago

• Metro

BBC Newsreader eye-rolls and refuses to say 'pregnant people' instead of women

BBC newsreader Martine Croxall appeared to roll her eyes as she switched 'pregnant people' for 'women' during a news report. The 56-year-old news host was presenting a segment on new research about the number of heat-related deaths expected amid Britain's current heatwave when the moment occured. Initially quoting the phrasing used in the research, Croxall said: 'Malcolm Mistry, who was involved in the research, said the aged, pregnant people… women… and those with pre-existing health conditions need to take precautions.' 'I have a new favourite BBC presenter,' Harry Potter author J.K Rowling, who has faced backlash for her views on the transgender community and trans-inclusive langage, posted on X. Rowling has previously taken issue with phrases such as 'people who mensturate'. After one commenter on X said they 'hope you don't get hauled before the BBC News beak,' the Celebrity mastermind winner said she was 'braced'. The national broadcaster currently has no specific policy of saying pregnant people. Last year, Croxall notably returned to the BBC after taking legal action against the broadcaster. She claimed that she was one of a group of BBC employees kept off-air during a rebrand and returned to her place behind the newsdesk after an employment tribunal. The use of gender-neutral language within maternity care has been a topic of fierce debate in recent years. In 2021 a Brighton hospital faced backlash for rolling out a 'gender-includive language policy'. Elsewhere a maternity bill in the UK changed the word 'person' to 'mothers and 'expecting mothers' after complaints. The trans rights movement has faced intense scrutiny with figures like Rowling stoking debate such as her support of the superme court ruling around the definition of a woman. Sir Stephen Fry, who has previously defended the writer, appeared to change his stance in recent comments saying she has been 'radicalised'. 'She has been radicalised, I fear, and it may be she has been radicalised by TERFs, but also by the vitriol that is thrown at her. More Trending 'It is unhelpful and only hardens her and will only continue to harden her, I am afraid.' He added that she is a 'lost cause for us'. 'I am not saying that she should not be called out when she says things that are really cruel, wrong and mocking,' he said at a live event. Metro has reached out to BBC for comment. Got a story? If you've got a celebrity story, video or pictures get in touch with the entertainment team by emailing us celebtips@ calling 020 3615 2145 or by visiting our Submit Stuff page – we'd love to hear from you. View More » MORE: Dame Prue Leith's son blasted after saying she doesn't 'see sense' in debate MORE: Dragons' Den star reveals their strict rule children's friends must follow MORE: Disgraced Strictly star slams 'double standards' at BBC after Naga Munchetty 'sex jibe'

Times

6 hours ago

• Times

JK Rowling praises BBC presenter for ‘pregnant women' correction

JK Rowling has praised a BBC presenter who corrected the term 'pregnant people' to 'women' during a live news broadcast in an apparent rejection of gender-neutral language. Martine Croxall was citing a heart-related study about protecting vulnerable people against extreme weather when she appeared to roll her eyes at the phrase. 'London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine has released research which says that nearly 600 heat-related deaths are expected in the UK,' she read. 'Malcolm Mistry, who was involved in the research, says that the aged, pregnant people … women … and those with pre-existing health conditions need to take precautions.' The original wording came from the study's authors rather than the BBC, it is understood. Responding to Saturday's incident, Rowling, the gender-critical author, wrote on X: 'I have a new favourite BBC presenter.' The BBC does not have specific guidelines on the use of gender-neutral terms such as 'pregnant people', which has become more frequent in the wake of calls to remove gender from discussions of pregnancy and childbirth. JK Rowling DAVE J HOGAN/GETTY IMAGES The BBC News style guide does, however, encourage 'appropriate language' when reporting on a person's gender, including using whichever gender pronouns are 'preferred by the person in question, unless there are editorial reasons not to do so'. In April, the Supreme Court ruled that the legal definition of a woman was based on biological sex. In a previous statement, the BBC said that it was assessing how to implement the ruling into its editorial guidelines. A spokesman said: 'In our news reporting, we always aim to deal with issues fairly and impartially, and this is informed by our editorial guidelines. BBC News are assessing the ruling to consider any updates which might need to be made to the style guide as a result.' The BBC has been approached for comment.

Telegraph

8 hours ago

• Telegraph

Martine Croxall has just struck a dazzling blow for common sense

A rebellion can take many forms. Sometimes it's an uprising in the streets. Sometimes it's a ballot-box revolt against the status quo. And sometimes – as BBC newsreader Martine Croxall has brilliantly shown – it's just a droll, one-word aside. Croxall struck a dazzling blow for common sense this week by daring to say the unsayable, by giving voice to a word that's become bizarrely verboten in certain circles. What blasphemous term did she utter? Women. It was during an item on the heatwave. Croxall was talking about new research on the number of heat-related deaths Britain might see as the temperature rises. She read the following from her autocue: 'Malcolm Mistry, who was involved in the research, said the aged, pregnant people…'. Then she stopped. Pregnant people? What in the politically correct hell is this? She mutinied against her teleprompter and told the truth. 'WOMEN', she said, with excellent exasperation. Then she carried on. The elderly, pregnant women and people with pre-existing health conditions 'need to take precautions' in the heat, she said. Post-truth baloney put in its place by a woman who's clearly had enough – you love to see it. 'Pregnant people' is one of those Newspeak phrases that is said to be 'trans-inclusive' but which in truth just erases women. The idea is that if we say 'pregnant people', we won't offend that infinitesimally small chunk of womankind that identifies as male. That 'pregnant people' is offensive to many women – not to mention to science and reason – seems not to matter. Let's be honest – 'pregnant people' is a lunatic term. Every single human being who has ever fallen pregnant has been a woman. They can call themselves Tom, Dick or Harry if they like and ask their woke pals to refer to them as 'he'. But they're women, and it isn't offensive to say so. Other 'trans-inclusive' terms include 'chest-feeding' (what we used to call breastfeeding) and 'birthing bodies' – or 'WOMEN!', as Croxall might say, with that righteous irritation shared by many of us. The memory-holing of the word 'woman' to appease the trans lobby is an outrage. It adds up to a sexist scrubbing from the public record of half of humankind. This is why Croxall's quiet vexation and gentle eye-roll as she said the W-word has chimed with so many: because we are sick of seeing the rights of women and the very language of womanhood be sacrificed at the altar of a dumb and dangerous fad. 'I have a new favourite BBC presenter', said JK Rowling. Same, Joanne. Croxall's rage against the autocue, her one-woman, one-word insurrection against correct-think, was as refreshing as a breeze in this heatwave. Some are now worried the BBC might haul her in for a telling-off. They wouldn't dare. Millions of decent folk will seethe if the public broadcaster even thinks about rapping a woman's knuckles for telling the truth.