Epitaph leaves a great impression
'Now moving into my sunset years, I'm wondering what would be appropriate on my headstone, remembering Spike's 'I TOLD YOU I WAS ILL',' says Richard Stewart from the pearly gates of Pearl Beach. 'As one constantly reminded that I get things wrong, I reckon 'HE STOOD CORRECTED' will do it. Others?'
'Reading Richard Glover's column in Spectrum about courtesy merging in traffic reminded me of the New Zealand traffic proposal to 'merge like a zipper',' writes Ross Coleman of Glenbrook. 'Sage Kiwi advice.'
'Can the fairies who erected the fence near Epping Station, its ownership having been denied by Transport for NSW and Parramatta Regional Council, please pop over to my place?' asks Donald Hawes of Peel.
'While growing up and spending time making cubbies and exploring the bush, I didn't blow anything up or fire at anything (C8),' admits Michael Payne of West Pymble. 'Am I normal?'
'The harmless and jovial character of C8 has been undermined by tales of homemade weapons and improvised explosives,' suggests Meri Will of Baulkham Hills. 'In a world where there is far too much violence, this is quite disturbing. Could we please move on to topics more peace-promoting and harmonious?'
To therefore keep things Meri, Granny scoured the C8 inbox for something suitably wholesome and stumbled across the good-natured Viv Munter of Tumbi Umbi: 'I have a new-found respect for the much-maligned native plover. I've watched a pair nesting for a month. The female barely left the nest, despite cold days and rainy nights, while the male stood guard. Finally, I witnessed the joy of the first chick to emerge, a little puffball wobbling on toothpick legs. To my dismay, that same night a fox gobbled the chick and remaining eggs despite the loud protestations of the parents. A pox on the fox, I am now a committed plover lover.' Dang. It started out OK.
George Zivkovic of Northmead takes it up to 11: 'Surely I wasn't the only one reminded of This Is Spinal Tap when reading about how Sabrina Carpenter's new album cover has sparked an uproar?' Perhaps she consulted the good folk of Springfield (the animated ones, not the ones eating the pets). After all, Ms Carpenter is the niece of Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, and Spinal Tap's Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) is the voice of Ned Flanders, Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Principal Skinner and Reverend Lovejoy!
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The Age
6 days ago
- The Age
Epitaph leaves a great impression
'Now moving into my sunset years, I'm wondering what would be appropriate on my headstone, remembering Spike's 'I TOLD YOU I WAS ILL',' says Richard Stewart from the pearly gates of Pearl Beach. 'As one constantly reminded that I get things wrong, I reckon 'HE STOOD CORRECTED' will do it. Others?' 'Reading Richard Glover's column in Spectrum about courtesy merging in traffic reminded me of the New Zealand traffic proposal to 'merge like a zipper',' writes Ross Coleman of Glenbrook. 'Sage Kiwi advice.' 'Can the fairies who erected the fence near Epping Station, its ownership having been denied by Transport for NSW and Parramatta Regional Council, please pop over to my place?' asks Donald Hawes of Peel. 'While growing up and spending time making cubbies and exploring the bush, I didn't blow anything up or fire at anything (C8),' admits Michael Payne of West Pymble. 'Am I normal?' 'The harmless and jovial character of C8 has been undermined by tales of homemade weapons and improvised explosives,' suggests Meri Will of Baulkham Hills. 'In a world where there is far too much violence, this is quite disturbing. Could we please move on to topics more peace-promoting and harmonious?' To therefore keep things Meri, Granny scoured the C8 inbox for something suitably wholesome and stumbled across the good-natured Viv Munter of Tumbi Umbi: 'I have a new-found respect for the much-maligned native plover. I've watched a pair nesting for a month. The female barely left the nest, despite cold days and rainy nights, while the male stood guard. Finally, I witnessed the joy of the first chick to emerge, a little puffball wobbling on toothpick legs. To my dismay, that same night a fox gobbled the chick and remaining eggs despite the loud protestations of the parents. A pox on the fox, I am now a committed plover lover.' Dang. It started out OK. George Zivkovic of Northmead takes it up to 11: 'Surely I wasn't the only one reminded of This Is Spinal Tap when reading about how Sabrina Carpenter's new album cover has sparked an uproar?' Perhaps she consulted the good folk of Springfield (the animated ones, not the ones eating the pets). After all, Ms Carpenter is the niece of Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, and Spinal Tap's Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) is the voice of Ned Flanders, Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Principal Skinner and Reverend Lovejoy!
Sydney Morning Herald
6 days ago
- Sydney Morning Herald
Epitaph leaves a great impression
'Now moving into my sunset years, I'm wondering what would be appropriate on my headstone, remembering Spike's 'I TOLD YOU I WAS ILL',' says Richard Stewart from the pearly gates of Pearl Beach. 'As one constantly reminded that I get things wrong, I reckon 'HE STOOD CORRECTED' will do it. Others?' 'Reading Richard Glover's column in Spectrum about courtesy merging in traffic reminded me of the New Zealand traffic proposal to 'merge like a zipper',' writes Ross Coleman of Glenbrook. 'Sage Kiwi advice.' 'Can the fairies who erected the fence near Epping Station, its ownership having been denied by Transport for NSW and Parramatta Regional Council, please pop over to my place?' asks Donald Hawes of Peel. 'While growing up and spending time making cubbies and exploring the bush, I didn't blow anything up or fire at anything (C8),' admits Michael Payne of West Pymble. 'Am I normal?' 'The harmless and jovial character of C8 has been undermined by tales of homemade weapons and improvised explosives,' suggests Meri Will of Baulkham Hills. 'In a world where there is far too much violence, this is quite disturbing. Could we please move on to topics more peace-promoting and harmonious?' To therefore keep things Meri, Granny scoured the C8 inbox for something suitably wholesome and stumbled across the good-natured Viv Munter of Tumbi Umbi: 'I have a new-found respect for the much-maligned native plover. I've watched a pair nesting for a month. The female barely left the nest, despite cold days and rainy nights, while the male stood guard. Finally, I witnessed the joy of the first chick to emerge, a little puffball wobbling on toothpick legs. To my dismay, that same night a fox gobbled the chick and remaining eggs despite the loud protestations of the parents. A pox on the fox, I am now a committed plover lover.' Dang. It started out OK. George Zivkovic of Northmead takes it up to 11: 'Surely I wasn't the only one reminded of This Is Spinal Tap when reading about how Sabrina Carpenter's new album cover has sparked an uproar?' Perhaps she consulted the good folk of Springfield (the animated ones, not the ones eating the pets). After all, Ms Carpenter is the niece of Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, and Spinal Tap's Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) is the voice of Ned Flanders, Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Principal Skinner and Reverend Lovejoy!
News.com.au
06-06-2025
- News.com.au
‘Staggering': NSW Police hunt raft of alleged public transport offenders
Sydney transport workers have been subjected to an onslaught of recent alleged violent attacks, police say, as a string of CCTV images are released in hopes of making arrests. On Friday, NSW Police released images of 15 people they are looking for, who were allegedly involved in incidents dating back to November. The 15 incidents involve Transport for NSW staff and members of the public allegedly being hit, kicked and spat on, exposed to sexual acts, and an adult allegedly directing a child to swipe a workers bag before stealing a phone. 'A staggering number of violent offences my officers respond to are against Transport for NSW staff,' transport police unit Detective Superintendent Andrew Evans said. 'These are hardworking people just trying to keep our trains, buses and light rails running and they don't deserve this treatment.' The list of 15 incidents where police are yet to make an arrest date back to November 13, and span Sydney's train and bus networks. In that November 13 incident at Central Railway Station, a man without a ticket was asked to leave, but allegedly returned to the train and assaulted a worker and pushed them to the ground. In February, a bus driver was allegedly punched in the head for not taking a man directly home. The incident happened on a bus travelling on Alcoomie Street in Villawood, about 5.30pm on February 24. A man wanted the bus driver to skip stops and take him straight home, and then assaulted the driver. On a Monday morning train ride, police say a man 'performed a sexual act' in the presence of a woman. The incident happened between Central and Bondi Junction stations, about 9.20am on April 7. On April 17 at Lidcombe Station, police say a man directed a child to steal a transport worker's bag, before the man took the worker's phone. NSW Police's transport unit is conducting a dedicated operation to arrest these and other alleged public transport offenders. 'The goal of this operation is to arrest, charge and prevent these offenders from abusing further workers,' Superintendent Evans said. 'During this operation we plan to lockdown high traffic areas on our transport network, conduct multiple firearm prohibition order compliance checks and saturate the network with officers to weed out these offenders.'
