This is what happens if a pizza and a donut had a baby
Some call it a deep fried pizza. In Hungary they call it Lángos. It's their national street food of deep fried bread dough traditionally lathered in sour cream, cheese and garlic oil.
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Why Climate Adaptation Must Become Architecture's Central Project
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Carolyn Hax: Why can't sister-in-law just take their mother's advice in stride?
Dear Carolyn: You mentioned the importance of people feeling heard and what a difference it can make. I agree, but I'm a constant witness to my sister-in-law, 'Jane,' not extending that kindness to my mom. My mom is a super homemaker; no one cooks or cleans like her. She knows that, so she tends to offer advice. It can be a little annoying but also completely harmless and well-meaning. When she does it to me, I always say her way sounds better and agree to give it a try. To her credit, she never points out that I rarely follow through; she's happy if I just agree with her. After a recent holiday, she offered suggestions to Jane about the dinner. If you're wondering why not my brother instead, it's because if it had been up to him, we'd have had takeout on paper plates. Later, she did offer him a suggestion about how he was washing dishes, which he handled like I do. The things my mom said to Jane weren't mean or malicious, and it wouldn't have taken any effort for Jane to agree that the tablecloth would have looked better if it had been ironed, that the salad vegetables were a little underdone, that loose tea is better than bags. But my sister-in-law answers as if she said something else. Like when my mom said the tablecloth needed to be ironed, Jane said, 'Yes, we got that in France. Isn't it lovely?' It's weird and hurtful. My brother said he thinks Jane's way is 'clever,' but it's not to my mom. She even talked on the way home about how Jane ignores and 'talks down to' her. Can I try discussing this with Jane, since she is not the sort to be deliberately hurtful? — Constant Witness Constant Witness: An hour in this kitchen, and you'd witness me smashing crockery. Jane is a saint. Not just because of the oh-no-we-are-NOT-doing-this gaslight job you did with the storytelling. But let's talk about that: Since Jane prepared a holiday dinner for her husband's family on her own initiative, clearly, can we agree she undertook a lot of labor for love? Then your mom thanks her with three criticisms that couldn't hope to get any pettier. Oh. My. Floofing. Dog. You call them 'suggestions' that are, oh kayyy, 'a little annoying'! But 'completely harmless, 'well-meaning'! and 'weren't mean or malicious.' !!! To nitpick your daughter-in-law's holiday hosting is dictionary mean in a few senses — not to get all definey on you. Do you know what is actually 'completely' without harm? 'Thank you for a lovely dinner.' It's also 100 percent annoyance-free, requiring no multi-paragraph contortionist interpretive dancing by hyper-compliant grown children, because it's kind on its face. You are a constant witness to your mother not extending that kindness to Jane. Flatly withholding. What is the point of homemaking, an honorable and important purpose, if not warmth? And support. Yet you see Jane as problematic because she won't join your group lie propping up the queen of this preening dysfunction. Part of my urge to smash things is that I know, I know, there's a heart here somewhere that's trying to find the right place. Through all the eerie over-justified homemaker-matriarch reverence is a vibe that you're protective of your mother. Like, everyone needs to be in on this performative awe at her expertise, and Jane's refusal to simper along puts a fragile person at risk. Whatever the motivation, your response to Mom's deathless faultfinding unsolicited corrections is a disingenuous 'Your way sounds better, I'll try it,' then seamlessly ignoring her — and I couldn't ask for a better example in the wild of talking down to someone. So, whew. Thank you for that. It is not 'hearing' your mother. It's humoring her. It's buying (lying) your way out of the hard work of honest communication. This means a couple of things. For one, minor, it means you owe it to Jane to be a whole lot less upset with her. I recommend non-upset. While you're talking down to your mother, she's merely talking past your mother's left elbow, a survival tactic she probably whipped up to keep from throwing crockery herself. (Or she got it from me, since I've advised it before.) You and your brother had lifetimes, remember, to learn how to absorb un! re! len! ting! disapproval from a mother who, I'm guessing, finds love-love too vulnerable. Next, major: It means recognizing this whole humor-Mother act is, in fact, an elaborately workshopped emotional survival tactic. It's not some effortless courtesy gesture. Following the good-intentions idea, I'll posit that your mom is in her own protective shell. She may have found perfectionism safer than emotional intimacy. What your family is protecting itself from, that's too far offstage for me to see. (Maybe not for you and a therapist.) I just see performance where honest connection could be. In a truth-telling family, for example, you'd respond to Mom in the car: 'I wouldn't want to hear what I did wrong after cooking all day. To bond with Jane, try, 'I'm so grateful [Son] found you.''
Yahoo
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German camp memorial offers Russian tour to mark 'forgotten victims'
A memorial for the Nazi-era concentration camp of Bergen-Belsen in northern Germany is set to offer a guided tour in Russian on Sunday to commemorate the site's "forgotten victims" from the Soviet Union. The camp, which was liberated by the British Army in April 1945, is well known as the place where Jewish schoolgirl Anne Frank died during World War II. However, it also included some 20,000 Soviet prisoners of war who were forced to work in the camp after July 1941. With insufficient accommodation available, the men lived in open fields and sought shelter in makeshift huts and caves. More than 14,000 of them died of cold, hunger and disease in the winter of 1941-42 alone. To mark the 84th anniversary of Nazi Germany's invasion of the Soviet Union, a 90-minute tour is to be offered in German and Russian, leading from the memorial site to the nearby prisoner of war cemetery. There are 19,580 people buried in the cemetery, with historian Katja Seybold working on creating a list of the names of those who died. Almost 13,000 of the names have been identified, the researcher said. Interviews with surviving prisoners of war can be listened to at the Bergen-Belsen Documentation Centre. Interest in the fate of the prisoners of war is growing, said Seybold. Many Ukrainians who have fled to Germany in recent years have also visited the memorial and the cemetery. The prisoner of war camp closed three months before the site's liberation by the British Army. According to Seybold, this may explain why the fate of the prisoners of war was left untold for so long. A total of some 70,000 people lost their lives at Bergen-Belsen. Around 120,000 men, women and children were interned in the concentration camp between 1943 and 1945, around 52,000 of whom died.
