The Perfect Pirate Video Game Does Exist

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Nowadays, video games developers love to show off the transparent size of their work. You can't watch any presentation from a gaming giant like Sony or Microsoft without hearing about billions of procedurally generated planets, zero loading screens, and over sixty-hour-long story campaigns. You would think that the technology could feed and bathe players now too. (Gamers could use some of that, actually). But many video game developers forget that just because I can pick a point on a map and go to it doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything to do there once I arrive. You still need to make a game!
No one understands this more than the team behind Yakuza. The video game franchise, now operated by Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio, produces maximalist experiences akin only to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's room made entirely of candy. Every time I step into one of Yakuza's campy and stylish new games, it feels as if I could lick the wallpaper and taste the snozzberries. The river is flowing with real chocolate—and the maps are bustling with activity. I say all this because I don't want Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio's latest title to deter you from experiencing its greatness. Yes, I'm talking about a video game titled Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii. And yes, Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii is a masterpiece.
The story follows Goro Majima, a former Yakuza big shot who washes ashore on a Hawaiian island with no memory of his past. Long time fans of the Yakuza series are very familiar with Majima. The gangster with an eyepatch has been a protagonist and fan-favorite character over the franchise's twenty-year history. For new players, just know that Majima has amnesia now. So, I wouldn't feel too daunted if you're dipping your toes in the Pirate Yakuza waters for the first time.
On Majima's search for an identity, he gathers his new friends and takes to the seas as a pirate. If it sounds ridiculous, don't worry. This is a ridiculous game. (Some of the best games are.) Clearly, the strategy was to become the first studio in a long time to produce an enjoyable pirate game and then just figure out the plot later. That Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio would succeed at either goal—let alone both—is a miracle.$59.99 at amazon.com
The actual game itself consists of navigating your ship from island to island as you stomp out enemy pirate crew and bag their treasures. Doubloons that you earn from these madcap brawls can be spent on learning new fighting moves, leveling up your crew, and even decking out your ship. Plus, each port of call contains new crew members to acquire and side quests to lose yourself in.
Like any Yakuza title, towns are filled with karaoke bars, go-karts, darts, gaming parlors, arcades with old SEGA titles built in, and dozens of mini-games. There's even an easy-to-miss subplot involving the dread pirate Zeus and his Devil Flags fleet that unlock some of the wackiest enhancements in the entire game. After one of four encounters for magical treasure, I acquired a pirate violin that summons ghost sharks. And it doesn't stop there.
Aside from the brawls on land, Pirate Yakuza also contains naval battles. Players control the ship when they sail the ocean between rest stops, complete with port and starboard cannons. Different crew members you pick up excel at various skills such as ship repair and cannon power, and each of them come with their own unique skills. Majima can also walk around the ship and revive fallen crewmen or put out fires from enemy cannons. Though it's not something I had to do often—since Pirate Yakuza isn't that challenging of a game—it was highly impressive that the naval battle would continue around me even as I switched from controlling the ship with an eagle-eye view of the battlefield to zooming in and controlling Majima running around onboard.
If you're looking for a challenge outside of the regular twenty-five-hour story campaign, Pirate Yakuza also contains a pirate coliseum called Madlantis that is chock full of more advanced levels. Though I've barely begun to scratch the surface of these challenges in my play-through so far, it seems like the steeper difficulty curve will require me to abandon my bone-headed and reckless offense that carried me through the main game.
When the credits rolled on Pirate Yakuza, I felt like Violet Beauregarde after Willy Wonka turned her into a giant blueberry. There's simply so much to uncover, collect, and customize in this wacky 'sidequel' from the mainline Yakuza games that I might need to step away before I start calling my coworkers 'matey.' At the same time, I applaud the spin-off for making a pirate game so good that it's a wonder they've never done one before.
Knowing the Yakuza franchise, they probably never will again. What eccentric adventure could possible follow Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii? Medieval jousting in Olde England, perhaps? Gladiator fights in Rome? Curling in Canada? Laugh now, but Pirate Yakuza proves that Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio only improves with each new level of lunacy. The video game is now available for purchase on PlayStation 5, Xbox and Steam. Call me a sick scurvy sea dog, but I can't wait for whatever comes next. It's a pirate's life for me.
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