Jespersen: Grief, grace and goodbye

I had other plans for this column.
Around this time each year, I usually write something to commemorate the end of another school year; a reflection of what teams around Gaylord have accomplished and a thank you to all that have made another year special (a 'thank you' you all still deserve). This one was going to be a little different, looking back on the first graduating class I had seen go from freshman when I first arrived in 2022 to high school graduates in 2025.
This isn't that column.
On Saturday, June 7, in-between the Gaylord softball regional games, I received a text that one of my best friend's younger brother, Patrick McElroy Govan, had tragically passed away at just 27-years-old. Through his older brother Bradley, I had my own relationship with Patrick, as throughout my trips to the Govan household, Pat had become almost like an adopted little brother to our high school friend group. This week, I watched his family have to say goodbye to him, a truly good man gone way too soon.
Outside of dredging up dormant memories, reuniting with friends I haven't seen in years and the many, many tears shed for one of my best friends, this past week has put so much of life into perspective.
Now, I need to say my goodbyes to the Class of 2025. Right now? Yeah, right now.
Like I mentioned, I had other plans for this column; however, if I have to say goodbye right now, I think I need to add a little bit more. So, in lieu of my traditional 'goodbye', I'd like to leave my first freshman class with a bit of wisdom that, at least I think, Patrick would approve.
When I first went to the Govan's household and met Patrick, the first thing I learned about him was this quirk that Bradley could not understand.
"His favorite college? Michigan," said a young Brad Govan. "His second? Ohio State."
Being the college sports fanatic I was, I spent much of our first meeting trying to explain why those are conflicting interests. Patrick didn't care. Patrick liked what Patrick liked. Years went by and we never changed his mind. What did change his mind? Eventually becoming a student at Michigan State, leaving both Michigan and Ohio State in the dust.
It was quirks like that; his passion for Legos and K'nex, his love for EDM music and everything in between that made Patrick such a unique character. Those quirks that have filled the stories of Patrick's life this week, something small in each anecdote that makes you say 'yep, that's Patrick.'
It's so easy to do the opposite; to hide those things that make you different, to become someone you're not in hopes of finding acceptance somewhere else. I implore you, and I think Patrick would as well, to leave that mindset in high school. Be yourself, and be proud of it. The memories you make and the people you attract will be that much better, more meaningful and more memorable.
One of the things that has become very clear in the past few days is how easy it is to lose touch with people you truly care about.
Unfortunately for many of my high school friends and I, we have been treated to the worst kind of high school reunion, having to catch up with so many people while dealing with the worst of circumstances.
Many of you in the Class of 2025 are going your separate ways in less than two months. While social media allows us all to stay somewhat plugged in to each others lives, its no where near a substitute for real, face-to-face conversations, something that will become very difficult to have with even your closest friends soon enough, at least on a regular basis.
So, as you feel it becoming easier and easier to skip a phone call, not text back and slip out of touch, don't; fight that urge to let things slip, even when it's inconvenient.
Losing your little brother at 27 is something no older sibling deserves.
While I watched my good friend deal with an unimaginable trauma, I've been truly impressed with how well he and his family seem to be holding up. And, while I know everyone handles grief differently, I can't help but think that the memories Patrick left with them have been helping to keep their emotions from overwhelming them.
And man, its hard to fathom a 27-year-old making as many memories as I've heard shared over the past few days. And not just the mental memories; photos, videos, audio recordings, anything that the Govans have been able to share have been either laugh creating or tear jerking, all cherished and none lost.
As the Class of 2025 goes out and joins the world, I want you all to remember that; take those pictures, those videos, keep them and keep them close. You never know when a random 15 minute clip is the last you'll ever have.
Goodbyes are never easy. I think now, for the time being, I've said enough goodbyes.
Contact GHT Sports Editor Dylan Jespersen at Djespersen@gaylordheraldtimes.com. Follow him on X, formerly known as Twitter, @dylanjespersen, and Instagram, @dylanjespersen
This article originally appeared on The Petoskey News-Review: Jespersen: Grief, grace and goodbye

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