Stop Waiting For The Right Mentor - Start Building The Right Network
Mentorship can be one of the most powerful forces in shaping a leader's path, but it often happens quietly, behind the scenes. An encouraging word from a coach. A timely introduction from a colleague. A moment of belief from someone who sees your potential before you can.
These moments, though small, often shape lives. And for Lisa Fain, CEO of the Center for Mentoring Excellence and a longtime advocate for inclusive, intentional leadership, those moments form the building blocks of a much bigger idea: mentoring is not just one relationship, it's a network.
'The biggest myth is that we need one mentor—someone older, more senior, and just like us,' Fain says. 'In truth, the most impactful leaders build developmental constellations—diverse, intentional networks of support, feedback, and challenge.'
Fain says, "The most impactful leaders build developmental constellations—diverse, intentional ... More networks of support, feedback, and challenge."
That shift in thinking is more than semantic. It's a strategy for navigating modern work and life—especially for leaders looking to align personal wellbeing (ME), team development (WE), and broader impact (WORLD). Let's explore what it means to lead in 3D through the lens of modern mentorship.
When Fain left the structure of corporate life to become an entrepreneur, she quickly felt the jolt of independence.
'I realized how much support I'd taken for granted,' she shares. 'It was lonely—and I wasn't prepared for that.'
Instead of retreating or pushing through solo, Fain made a different choice. She built a networked system of support. A business coach helped her develop systems and processes. A mastermind group of fellow women entrepreneurs provided feedback, perspective, and accountability. Learning communities like Heroic Public Speaking became spaces for growth, creativity, and courage.
This intentional network not only helped her build her business—it helped her be well. As Who Believed in You?, the bestselling book by Dina Powell McCormick and Senator Dave McCormick, reminds us, the right mentors don't just help us get ahead—they help us stay grounded, see ourselves clearly, and move forward when we're uncertain.
The right mentors don't just help us get ahead—they help us stay grounded, see ourselves clearly, ... More and move forward when we're uncertain.
'What we realized in talking to so many leaders,' Powell McCormick told TIME, 'is that it was the unsung heroes that changed their lives… people who helped them shape their life, deal with challenges, deal with failures.'
That kind of support, Fain adds, isn't something you wait around for. It's something you build.
Traditional mentorship models are often built on hierarchy: one experienced leader guides one junior team member. But that model, while valuable, is incomplete.
'In today's workplace, peers can mentor each other. Junior staff can mentor senior leaders. Great managers act like coaches,' Fain explains. 'We need to stop thinking vertically and start thinking relationally.'
This shift reflects the growing understanding that mentorship isn't an obligation to be met in a monthly meeting or quarterly outing. It's a behavior. It can happen in hallway conversations, Slack channels, feedback sessions, or walking meetings. And when everyone is empowered to mentor and be mentored, teams thrive.
The case for this kind of distributed mentorship is not just personal—it's systemic. The U.S. Surgeon General's recent advisory called out loneliness and isolation as public health crises, with workplaces cited as a key place for rebuilding connection. A recent Forbes piece echoed the idea that mentorship is not just good for retention or skill-building—it's essential for wellbeing.
As Powell McCormick shared in her own experience leading mentoring initiatives, 'It can be very lonely starting a business… to just have someone say, 'You got this,' is probably the most invaluable piece.'
Powell McCormick explains, "To have someone say, 'You got this,' is probably the most invaluable ... More piece.'
Beyond personal fulfillment or team cohesion, mentorship can shape entire systems. It's a lever for equity, access, and legacy.
Fain's work increasingly focuses on how organizations can enable inclusive developmental networks, so that everyone, not just the well-connected or well-known, has access to guidance and growth.
That work aligns with the call to action at the heart of Who Believed in You?: transform mentorship from transactional to transformational.
'It's not just about getting a promotion,' Senator McCormick explains. 'It's about becoming your best self, living with purpose, and creating values-based leadership that shapes communities.'
Those values—mutual trust, shared commitment, tough love, and belief in one another—are the foundation of transformative mentorship. And they're urgently needed in a world where people, especially young professionals, crave deeper connection and meaning.
Powell McCormick adds: 'For me, the greatest legacy isn't my résumé. It's the people I've mentored—did they grow? Did they find their purpose? Did I stay connected? Did I cheer them on?'
That's not just inspiration. That's a roadmap.
In Fain's work with leaders across industries, the biggest pitfall she sees is tilting too far in one direction: focusing on impact (WORLD) while neglecting personal wellness (ME) and real relationships (WE). The consequences: loneliness. Burnout. Stalled potential.
As Bowling Alone author Robert Putnam and scholars like Kathy Kram have long argued, relational capital is not a soft benefit—it's a hard necessity. We grow by growing with others.
1. Map Your Network
Who do you turn to for support, feedback, inspiration, and challenge? Where are the gaps? Who's missing?
2. Ask Lisa's Favorite Question
Who do you need now in your developmental network?
Think about your goals, struggles, and dreams. What kind of person could help unlock the next step?
3. Take a Brave Step
Reach out to someone you admire. Join a mastermind. Offer to mentor someone else. The network you need won't build itself—but you can.
If you're waiting for 'the one' mentor to appear, Lisa Fain has a loving reality check: stop waiting.
'You have agency,' she says. 'The biggest growth, the biggest fulfillment, and the biggest impact comes when you build the relationships that build you.'
This truth echoes what Senator McCormick shares in Who Believed in You?:
'You don't have to be a famous person to change someone's life… You can have an enormous impact—by simply being someone who believes.'
Whether you're reaching out to someone who can support your growth - or turning around to offer belief and insight to someone just starting out - mentorship isn't a side note to leadership. It is leadership.
So here's your call to action:
Who believed in you? Now… who needs you to believe in them?
Who believed in you? Now… who needs you to believe in them?
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