EXCLUSIVE Decluttering expert shares vital tips to organizing your life and home after a messy breakup
Going through a breakup can be extremely stressful and in the aftermath, you may feel like your life has been turned upside down.
In some cases you have to get rid of the home you shared and move somewhere new, if you have a joint bank account you'll have to separate your finances, and of course, there's figuring out who gets what when it comes to furniture and possessions.
It's certainly a messy and exhausting process, all while you're grappling with the heartbreak of losing your significant other.
Thankfully, decluttering expert Lesley Spellman, 51, has shared vital tips to organizing your life, mind, and home post-breakup exclusively with the Daily Mail.
She broke down the steps you should take to make the whole process easier, and revealed how you can ultimately turn it into a positive thing.
Spellman - co-founder of The Declutter Hub and co-author of the upcoming book Reset Your Home: Unpack Your Emotions and Your Clutter, Step by Step alongside Ingrid Jansen - explained that the end of a relationship can actually be a great opportunity for a 'fresh start' if you go about it in the right way.
'Just like decluttering your home, sorting through the remnants of a relationship is hard work,' she explained.
'But when you're done, you're left with a clear, organized, and energized space to build the next, wonderful chapter of your life. And that's a pretty amazing feeling.
Thankfully, decluttering expert Lesley Spellman, 51, has shared vital tips to organizing your life, mind, and home post-breakup exclusively with the Daily Mail
'What if you viewed the process of separating your lives as a form of decluttering? Clearing the clutter is a powerful way to create space for your brand new beginning.
'It often gets worse before it gets better, but the end result is a clear space and a fresh start.'
With over a decade of experience in helping thousands regain control of their lives and homes, here are Spellman's top tips to navigating life after a breakup.
Don't rush into any decisions
Spellman pointed out that many people are tempted to 'rush' after a breakup to get rid of all the painful memories as quickly as possible.
Getting on top of stuff quickly may feel like you're back in control, but in reality, moving too fast can hurt you in the long run.
She recommended taking your time and spending a moment to breathe before making any rash decisions.
'When a relationship ends, especially if it's a shock, the temptation is to rush,' explained the expert.
'You might feel an urgent need to start making calls, moving things, and getting the legal wheels in motion because it feels like you're taking control,' she said. '[My] number one piece of advice? This is not a race. There isn't a rush.'
'You might feel an urgent need to start making calls, moving things, and getting the legal wheels in motion because it feels like you're taking control.
'[My] number one piece of advice? This is not a race. There isn't a rush.'
Spellman pointed out that those who are feeling hurt, betrayed, or angry might not make the best decisions.
'You need to be in the best emotional state you can possibly be in before you start making life-changing choices,' she added.
'Give yourself time, at least a couple of weeks at least, to just process.
'Find your support system and give yourself the space to navigate things emotionally before you start the practical tasks.'
Focus on finances first
It may be hard to know where to start, but according to Spellman, the first thing you should focus on is your finances.
'When you do feel ready to do something productive, a great place to start is by gathering your financial paperwork,' she said. 'Think of it as a decluttering project with a clear goal!'
Anyone going through a divorce should gather bank statements and pay slips from the last 12 months, your latest credit card statement, a current overview of your mortgage and your pension, and any life insurance, critical illness, or income protection documents.
She also recommended having three realtors give you a valuation on your home or any other properties you own.
'You only need to gather documents that are in your name or in joint names,' Spellman added.
'Organize everything into neat folders on your computer. Future you will be incredibly grateful for this bit of organized calm amidst the chaos.'
Prioritize sentimental items while diving your stuff
Many couples have a hard time dividing their stuff, and the process often leads to arguments about who gets what.
Spellman recommended that you 'prioritize' items that have 'genuine sentimental value' to you rather than furniture that can easily be replaced.
And she reminded those going through a split to pick their battles, and not go to the mat over something you really won't care about in the long run.
'Don't sweat the small stuff. For the most part, things are just things,' she explained.
'They can be replaced. Ask yourself, "Will I miss this in a year's time?" If the answer is no, consider letting it go.
'Avoid point scoring: Don't argue over something just to annoy your ex.
'You'll have enough to deal with without adding pointless arguments to the mix.'
In the end, Spellman said you should remind yourself that although it feels difficult now, this can be a positive thing in the end.
'Going through a separation is tough, but it's also an incredible opportunity for a fresh start,' she concluded.
'The best thing about being single? You get to make all the decisions. The worst thing? You have to make all the decisions!
'But that freedom is powerful. You can design a life that looks exactly how you want it to, without compromise.'
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