Woman Says Her 14-Year-Old Stepdaughter Keeps Calling Her Mom, Despite Being Warned Her Actual Mother Will Be Furious
A woman says her 14-year-old stepdaughter has started calling her 'mom'
She says that while she appreciates the gesture, she's worried that the teen's actual mother will find out and be furious
The woman shared her story on a popular community forum to seek advice from others about how she should handle the situationA woman says her stepdaughter has started calling her 'mom' — and she's afraid the teen's mother will be furious.
The woman explains her dilemma in the 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where women can go to seek input and advice from other women. In her post, the woman says that she has been in her 14-year-old stepdaughter's life for 12 years, and that her stepdaughter has always called her by her first name.
However, the original poster (OP) says that recently, her stepdaughter started calling her 'mom.'
'I've corrected her over and over, as has her dad, and I've gently explained that I'm not her mom, she has a mom, and if said mom found out we'd both be toast!' the woman says.
'Does anyone have any advice on how to gently revert back to the way things were?' the OP then asks her fellow community members.
In a follow-up comment to her post, the woman explains that her stepdaughter's relationship with her birth mother has 'gone massively downhill lately' due to 'typical teenage mother/daughter stuff.'
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She says that while she loves that her stepchild calls her mom, she also knows it would cause major drama.
'I can't even put into words the grief she would give both of us, and I don't want that for [my] step-daughter,' she says.
A number of the woman's fellow community members said that — for better or worse — there's not much to be done about the situation.
"At 14, I'd leave it,' one person said. 'She knows what she is saying. She knows who her mom is. It's a compliment to you, really.'
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'It's her choice, and she is old enough to make it. Most stepparents would just enjoy it,' someone else said.
Another person said that the OP should perhaps work on embracing the situation and think less about the potential consequences.
'This child wants to feel connected to you and safe in that important mother/daughter relationship. It's a gift she is giving you and herself. Instead of treating this like a problem or a river to be dammed, think of it like a flow of water to be channeled safely, to grow the relationship,' they said.
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