My family and I lost S$500,000 to a scam. Taking responsibility for it was hard, but it helped me grow
I learnt the most painful lesson of my life in 2019.
Together with my wife, my in-laws and my brother, we lost nearly half a million dollars to a scam. The financial loss was devastating – but the real damage was personal, relational, and emotional.
You might be wondering: How does a mature, educated person fall so hard for a scam? The prime reason: Trust.
One day, a friend introduced me to a charismatic forex trader, a well-mannered gentleman who exuded confidence and credibility. He shared an investment opportunity which promised good returns in the form of fixed monthly payouts with a simple one-month withdrawal notice.
I'm not usually one to trust strangers at first sight, but my friend's introduction had lowered my guard. I decided to invest a small sum to test the waters. But when the returns came as promised, I started gradually increasing my investment sum and even rolled the profits back into the scheme.
There were no red flags – no pressure, just consistent 'results' from a 'professional' who seemed to know what he was doing. What began as a cautious experiment grew into a six-figure commitment within a few years.
During that time, we connected over shared values, talked about business and exchanged stories about our lives. He came across as sincere, humble and sharp. He even supported me as a donor in my corporate fundraising career.
My trust in him was built slowly over those years. The more we connected and the more money I made, the more my confidence in both him and the scheme grew.
Eventually, he became someone I considered a friend. I never imagined I could be wrong about him.
PULLING OTHERS IN
As I fell deeper and deeper, I began encouraging others around me to join the scheme. I won't lie, I did receive a recurring referral commission; however, I also genuinely believed it was a great opportunity.
I told myself it was a win-win: People around me would benefit, and I would earn a little extra. Why think twice?
In total, I introduced over 20 people to the scheme, including close friends and family. Like me, they were drawn in by the personal relationship they had with the individual bringing them in. We were all in.
Then one day, everything came crashing down.
I still remember the day I received the shocking news: The 'trader' had been arrested and charged for fraud. The jig was up – it was a Ponzi scheme.
I felt physically sick. In that moment, I didn't know what was worse, that my money was gone, or that I had unknowingly led people I cared about into the same trap.
It was beyond awful to realise that I wasn't just a victim; I was an accomplice, an unintentional instigator of harm.
My emotions were all over the place. All the same, I knew I couldn't wait.
I broke the news to those affected. For three nights, I couldn't sleep. I lost my appetite. My wife, daughter, and I were devastated. We had to tighten our belts overnight, and our thoughts ran wild with worst-case scenarios – what if we never recovered from this?
BROKEN FRIENDSHIPS
We were hurting about the financial loss. But even more so, we agonised over the emotional fallout: Strained relationships, broken trust, and deep shame.
Some friends were gracious and understanding, and I'll forever be indescribably grateful.
Others weren't. A few relationships never recovered – and honestly, I don't blame them. They had every right to be angry, to question and criticise my judgment now.
By then, I was no longer in close touch with the friend who had originally introduced me to the trader. Nevertheless, it felt like our friendship, too, was over.
The case went to court but as it unfolded, the victims were divided. Some supported the prosecution, hoping to recover their funds since the trader's accounts were frozen. Others held onto hope that if the case was dropped, payouts might resume. Two camps, two versions of denial – and I felt caught between them.
Then came another gut-wrenching twist – I was called to testify as a prosecution witness.
Truth be told, I didn't want to do it. Rationally, I understood that the scammer had done wrong to myself and so many others. Still, he had been my friend. I still felt lingering gratitude to him, especially for his support earlier in my career.But I had no choice. The law compelled me. I had to do the right thing.
TAKING OWNERSHIP
If you're thinking 'This could never happen to me', I understand. I once thought the same. But scams don't always look like scams. They often come to us disguised as opportunity, friendship and success.
Eventually, I came to a painful but important realisation: Though the trader had been at the crux of it all, it wasn't just his fault. It was also mine.
I had enabled him by placing relationships above reason and emotion above evidence. I had wanted to trust him so much that I'd failed to see when that trust had crossed over into blindness.
I had to confront my blind spots and take ownership of my actions and decisions. I began rebuilding – not just my finances, but also my mindset and capabilities.
With strong support from my mentors and friends, I immersed myself in deal-making – this time making sure to do thorough due diligence at every single step. I dove deeper into stock investing, trading psychology and financial literacy. I took charge of my own investments instead of outsourcing my financial future to so-called experts.
Today, I'm fortunate enough to have bounced back to an even stronger financial standing than before, with good returns from my own investment portfolio. But more importantly, I've built resilience.
I may have learnt my lesson the hard way, but I'm now writing this to tell you that you don't have to do the same.
Always exercise caution. Ask tough questions. Do your homework. And remember: the most important investment you'll ever make is in your own education and awareness.
NEW BEGINNINGS
Out of this painful pitfall, I found a new purpose: To help others avoid falling into the same pit.
I founded the Rainmaker Community, a business and social network where people gather monthly to learn and grow together, not only about growing in wealth but also in wisdom, human connection, and character. We don't promise returns or chase hype – we build relationships and pursue purpose.
I'm not proud of what happened. But I am proud of how I responded. It taught me this valuable lesson: That failure can indeed become life's most powerful teacher, but only if you're willing to meet it with honesty and humility.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
CNA
2 hours ago
- CNA
South Korea's trade chief heads to US from Jun 22 as Trump tariffs cast long shadow
SEOUL: South Korea's Trade Minister Yeo Han-koo will visit the United States from Jun 22 to Jun 27, the trade ministry said on Saturday (Jun 21), amid intensifying concerns over the impact of US tariffs. The visit will include discussions with US Trade Representative Jamieson Greer and the third round of bilateral technical discussions, a ministry official told Reuters. Further details about the meetings were not disclosed. The two countries began trade talks in April, with Seoul seeking a path to slash the stiff tariffs US President Donald Trump is angling to impose. South Korea is currently facing a 10 per cent blanket tariff and a 25 per cent country-specific duty temporarily paused for 90 days. It agreed with the US during initial trade negotiations in April to craft a trade deal reducing tariffs by Jul 8. However, political uncertainty triggered by leadership upheavals had stalled progress. "Since a South Korea-US summit has yet to take place and key ministers have not been appointed under the new administration, negotiations are likely to focus on areas that the trade ministry can manage - excluding major issues such as defence cost-sharing and exchange rates," Heo Yoon, an economics professor at Sogang University, said. "Given these circumstances, reaching a comprehensive agreement on key negotiation frameworks and agendas is expected to be challenging." The announcement of Yeo's trip to Washington comes days after South Korea launched a task force on negotiations with the US. It comprises industry ministry officials overseeing trade, manufacturing, energy and investment. According to the Industry Ministry, it will deal with tariff and non-tariff matters across industry and the energy sector, while also coordinating with the private sector. Yeo, who heads the task force, said the team has a major responsibility as "businesses and the public have experienced great difficulties due to US tariff measures".
CNA
5 hours ago
- CNA
Toyota to raise US auto prices by more than $200 from July, Bloomberg News reports
Japanese carmaker Toyota Motor Corp will raise prices of some vehicles it sells in the U.S. by more than $200 from July, Bloomberg News reported on Friday. Some Toyota- and Lexus-branded models will have their prices increased by an average of $270 and $208, respectively, the report said, citing Nobu Sunaga, a spokesman for the company.
CNA
8 hours ago
- CNA
US auto safety agency reviewing Tesla answers on robotaxi deployment plans
WASHINGTON :U.S. highway safety regulators are reviewing answers Tesla gave in response to the agency's questions about the safety of its self-driving robotaxi in poor weather, the agency said on Friday, ahead of plans to deploy the vehicles as soon as this weekend. Tesla has sent invitations to a small group of people to join in a limited test of its robotaxi service in Austin, Texas, which is tentatively set to start on Sunday, according to posts and email screenshots on social media. In a letter last month, NHTSA asked Tesla to answer detailed questions by June 19 on its plans to launch paid robotaxi service in Austin, to assess how the electric vehicle maker's cars with full self-driving technology will perform in poor weather. The agency said it has received Tesla's response "and is in the process of reviewing it. Once our review has been completed the public file will be updated." Tesla did not immediately respond to a request for comment. The invitations said a Tesla employee will accompany riders in the front passenger seat, the posts showed. NHTSA asked Tesla if vehicles "will be supervised or otherwise monitored by Tesla in real time." NHTSA has been investigating Tesla full self-driving collisions in reduced roadway visibility conditions since October. The probe covers 2.4 million Tesla vehicles equipped with full self-driving technology after four reported collisions, including a 2023 fatal crash. The agency said in May it was seeking additional information about Tesla's development of robotaxis "to assess the ability of Tesla's system to react appropriately to reduced roadway visibility conditions" as well details on robotaxi deployment plans and the technology being used. NHTSA said in May it wants to know how many vehicles will be used as robotaxis and the expected timetable for availability of robotaxi technology for vehicles controlled by people other than Tesla. NHTSA's letter asked Tesla to describe how it intends to ensure the safety of robotaxi operations in reduced roadway visibility conditions such as sun glare, fog, airborne dust, rain, or snow. It also wants to know what happens if poor visibility is encountered during a ride.
