Latest in General
Leader Live
30 minutes ago
- General
- Leader Live
'Perfect storm' as Flintshire schools face ALN and funding pressure
That was the fear expressed by Hawarden, Ewloe councillor Dave Mackie at Thursday's meeting of Flintshire County Council's Education, Youth & Culture Overview & Scrutiny Committee. They were discussing a report on funding for specialist provision and additional learning needs (ALN). There was widespread praise for the creative work being done by schools and headteachers to deliver support for the increasing number of pupils presenting with ALN and the increasing complexity of their support needs. But the committee had serious concerns that funding pressures could soon force schools to prioritise support for those most in need. It was also revealed that there is, for the first time, a waiting list for out of county provision for those pupils with requiring the most specialist support, as all available places are now full. "We are experiencing a perfect storm of cuts in school funding, problems from Covid which you can't ignore, reduction in school rolls and the need to for ALN provision,"said Cllr Mackie. "This could lead to some very very serious problems. We know schools have had to reduce their staff and the point about specific individual care is it requires staff. "We must acknowledge the scale of the financial pressures in order to make suitable provision. "Clearly we are in a perfect storm not of our own making and we are expecting schools to cope. I think we are expecting too much." Jeanette Rock, Flintshire's senior manager for inclusion and progression, said that in 15 years she had never seen so much legitimate demand for additional educational support. "We really are seeing increased levels of need and complexity," she said. "I've worked in this role for 15 years and never seen this level of legitimate need. "Out of county provision is full. We have a challenge to find suitable places for our children and we have a waiting list for the first time. "A number of our children are struggling to engage with larger school buildings and it's fair to say that our primary sector are feeling the pinch." There was tentatively good news in the report. A feasibility study in 2018 identified the council needed to invest £38m in specialist facilities for pupils with specific needs. That bid has been submitted to the Welsh Government's Sustainable Communities Fund and is being reviewed to ensure planned works are still fit for purpose. But concerns over operational funding led to a recommendation that the committee ask full council to requisition the £1.2m of additional funding given to the authority as part of the Welsh Local Government Settlement to further support ALN provision in the county. "I have noted we are in a red risk area for funding," said Buckley Bistre West Cllr Carolyn Preece. "Where will the money come from to support this. "The Welsh Government seriously needs to recognise we are still feeling the effect of Covid. We need more provision, more funding for this specialist educational delivery that is a mandatory statutory provision because the outcome of good ALN support is amazing, it enriches people's lives. I would like to recommend that we request that £1.2m of additional money received by the council in the budget be given to the education budget because our schools really need this." The committee supported the recommendation.
Times
30 minutes ago
- General
- Times
Bayer Leverkusen to step up Jarell Quansah pursuit
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Yahoo
32 minutes ago
- General
- Yahoo
15 Signs A Woman Is Done In Her Marriage
Marriage is a journey full of twists, turns, and the occasional dead-end. Sometimes, finding yourself at that dead-end is like waking up from a long, restless sleep. You might have ignored the signs for years, smiled through the pain, and convinced yourself that things would get better. But when a woman is truly done with her marriage, there are unmistakable signs that even the most oblivious partner can't miss. When she's done, her heart builds walls Trump would envy. No longer the open book you once knew, she becomes more like a mystery novel whose pages are glued shut. It's a defense mechanism, and the fortress around her emotions isn't coming down any time soon. Psychologist Dr. Julie Gottman explains that emotional withdrawal is one of the most telling indicators that a partner is checked out, signaling an effort to protect oneself from further hurt. Her laughter doesn't ring as true or as often, and the distance feels more cavernous with each passing day. Conversations lack depth and are filled with superficial chatter or, worse, the dreaded silence. It's not just about fewer words; it's about the absence of warmth that used to color the dialogue. The emotional walls aren't built overnight, but once they're up, they can feel insurmountable. When was the last time you held each other just because? Intimacy becomes a relic of the past when she's checked out. The spontaneous touches, kisses, and playful nudges vanish, leaving behind a barren landscape of cold formality. There's a distinct chill that settles in when shared vulnerability is replaced by stiff, obligatory gestures. It's not just the physical that suffers; emotional intimacy takes a nosedive too. The longing for connection becomes a faint echo rather than a resounding reality. She pulls away from those profound conversations, the ones that used to light up the night. The absence of intimacy isn't just physical; it's like the soul of the relationship has packed its bags and left the building. Suddenly, her calendar is filled with plans that don't include you. She's relishing her independence, and solo dinners, trips, and outings have become her new normal. Laura Vanderkam, a time management expert, notes that when someone prioritizes personal time over shared experiences, it often reflects a shift in relationship dynamics. This newfound independence signals a desire to rediscover herself without the shadow of her marriage. You find yourself hearing about plans after they've happened, if at all. It's no longer a "we" world, but a distinct "me" focus. The joy of shared experiences is a distant memory, replaced by the thrill of solo adventures. It's not just about needing space; it's about redefining her identity outside the confines of the marriage. Every little thing you do seems to get under her skin. The way you chew, the jokes you tell, even your choice of TV shows – suddenly, they all seem to irritate her. It's as if the reservoir of patience has completely dried up, leaving behind a desert of irritation and annoyance. This constant friction can be a sign that she's emotionally detached and no longer willing to overlook the small stuff. Even moments that used to bring you closer now feel like a battleground. Her sighs are heavy, her tolerance is scarce, and every day can feel like walking on eggshells. The small quirks she once adored have morphed into monumental frustrations. When her patience shatters, it's often a clear indicator that her emotional investment has taken a nosedive. Remember when you used to dream together about your future? Now, those conversations are conspicuously absent, and her dreams seem to be missing one crucial element: you. According to a study by Dr. Terri Orbuch, couples who don't share aspirations or future plans often experience a significant dip in marital satisfaction. When her future planning becomes a solo act, it signals that she's envisioning a life beyond the marriage. She's not asking for your opinion on long-term decisions or seeking your input on plans. Her focus shifts to personal goals, career advancement, or even a bucket list that doesn't have a plus-one. It's not just about not talking; it's about removing you from the vision board of her life. Her solo future isn't just a fantasy—it's becoming her reality. Arguments can be a healthy part of a relationship, but when she's done, they become something else entirely. They're either so intense that every disagreement feels like a final showdown or so infrequent that it's as if she no longer cares enough to fight. The emotional investment that fuels productive arguments is either fizzling out or burning too brightly. It's a sign that the dynamics have shifted dramatically. When the arguments are intense, they're often filled with pent-up resentment and things left unsaid for too long. When they're nonexistent, it might mean she's emotionally checked out, no longer caring enough to engage. Both extremes suggest a breaking point, where neither fight nor flight leads to resolution. It's a clear sign that the relationship is stuck in an unhealthy loop or spiraling towards an end. Where there were once endless conversations, now there's a chasm filled with silence. This isn't the comfortable kind of silence; it's the kind that screams louder than words. Relationship expert Esther Perel notes that silence often masks deep-seated issues, as partners retreat into their own worlds. When silence becomes the norm, it's a sign that communication has broken down. This silence isn't just a lack of conversation; it's a lack of connection. The absence of shared laughter, the comforting chatter over dinner, and the exchange of daily stories all fade into the background. It's as if the mute button has been hit on the soundtrack of your shared life. The silent treatment isn't a temporary pause; it's a permanent stop on the road of communication. Once, she'd be the first to defend your relationship against any criticism from friends or family. Now, she lets those words hang in the air, unanswered and unchallenged. Her silence in these situations speaks volumes, as she no longer feels the need to protect or validate the relationship. When you notice this shift, it's a clear sign that her allegiance has changed. It's not about agreeing with the criticism; it's about a fundamental shift in priorities. Her focus is no longer on preserving the relationship but on navigating her own feelings and future. This lack of defense can feel like a betrayal, but in reality, it's her way of stepping back from a fight she no longer believes in. The absence of defense is often the first step towards emotional detachment. Her energy used to be centered on nurturing the relationship, but now it's elsewhere. Whether it's a new hobby, a career, or volunteering, her focus has shifted. This isn't just about having interests outside the marriage; it's about redirecting emotional and mental resources. When someone channels their energy away from the relationship, it's often a sign that they're seeking fulfillment outside its borders. You'll notice her enthusiasm when she's talking about anything but the marriage. It's a stark contrast to the lackluster conversations about shared life and responsibilities. This shift in focus can feel like a loss, but it's her way of reclaiming parts of herself. Her energy isn't just elsewhere; it's detached from the relationship entirely. Remember when she used to value your opinion above all else? Now, your approval seems to matter less and less to her. She's no longer looking for validation from you, whether it's about her choices, actions, or appearance. This change signals a shift towards self-reliance, and in many cases, a stepping back from the emotional ties of the relationship. Her decisions become more autonomous, as she no longer feels the need to check in with you. It's a subtle change, but one that speaks volumes about her internal transformation. When she stops seeking your approval, it's often because she's finding it elsewhere or from within. This newfound independence might feel like rejection, but it's really about self-preservation. The small acts of kindness that once peppered your daily life have vanished. No more surprise cups of coffee, no spontaneous love notes, no more little gestures that show she cares. When these acts disappear, it's often because the emotional reservoir from which they flowed has run dry. It's a sign that the relationship no longer holds the same value it once did. It's not that she's intentionally being unkind; it's that the motivation to go the extra mile has faded. The absence of these gestures creates a void, making the relationship feel transactional rather than nurturing. These small acts were the glue that held the emotional fabric together, and without them, the relationship can feel threadbare. The absence of kindness is a reflection of deeper emotional disconnection. Gone are the days when she'd tell you about every little detail of her day. The stories, the highs and lows, the mundane moments she once shared with you, have all but disappeared. When she stops sharing, it's often because she no longer sees you as her confidant, and the emotional connection has waned. This change can feel like a door closing, leaving you on the outside. The silence isn't just about withholding information; it's about creating distance. Without the daily updates, you become more like roommates than partners. The fabric of everyday life loses its color and vibrancy without these shared experiences. It's not just about a lack of words; it's about a lack of connection and trust. Remember when she'd dress up for date night or put in the extra effort to plan something special? When she's done, that effort evaporates. It's not about neglecting appearances; it's about the lack of enthusiasm for maintaining the relationship. When the effort disappears, it's often a clear sign that she no longer finds joy in shared activities. This isn't about being lazy; it's about reprioritizing. The energy she once invested in the relationship is now redirected elsewhere. It's as if the spark that once fueled her enthusiasm has flickered out. The absence of effort is a telling sign that the relationship has slipped down the priority list. The thank-yous that once flowed freely now feel like a distant memory. When gratitude fades, it signals that the relationship's positive aspects have become overshadowed by disillusionment. It's not just about forgetting to say thank you; it's about the absence of appreciation for what the relationship brings to her life. The lack of gratitude can create a chasm between partners that's hard to bridge. This isn't about being ungrateful; it's about emotional exhaustion. When every action feels like an obligation rather than a choice, gratitude slips away. The relationship becomes a series of transactions rather than a partnership filled with mutual appreciation. The absence of gratitude often signifies a deeper dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs. While physically present, mentally, she's miles away. Her thoughts drift, tethered to the possibilities of a life beyond the confines of marriage. It's not about daydreaming; it's about emotionally detaching from a reality that no longer fulfills her. This mental checkout leaves a void that no amount of physical presence can fill. You might notice her distracted demeanor, as her mind wanders to places you can't reach. It's like she's already living in a different world, one where the marriage is a faint echo rather than a resounding truth. This mental absence is often the last step before a physical one. When she's mentally checked out, it's a powerful indication that she's already moving on internally.
Yahoo
32 minutes ago
- General
- Yahoo
13 Things People Say In Anger That Causes Long-Term Damage
Anger is a slippery slope. It's easy to slide into a moment of rage and let words fly like daggers, unaware of the permanent scars they might leave. We've all been there—grasping for the most hurtful quip to win the argument. But beware: words are powerful weapons, and some things you say in anger can have lasting repercussions. In the heat of an argument, you might be tempted to drop this bomb as the ultimate verbal grenade. It's a crushing sentence designed to inflict maximum damage, questioning the very foundation of a relationship. But it's also a lie that's incredibly hard to take back. Even if reconciliations follow, those words can linger like a ghost, haunting every future I-love-you with doubt. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman has found in his extensive studies that contempt is a leading predictor of divorce—a category this declaration firmly fits within. It's not just cruel; it's destructive. Trust, once broken, is difficult to mend. You might not just lose an argument; you could lose a partner, friend, or loved one forever. Comparing someone to a disliked family member or an infamous ex is a shortcut to their insecurities. It's a low blow that's often more about projecting your frustration than speaking any truth. This kind of comparison can diminish their self-esteem, making them question their progress and identity. The comment sticks like glue, making them wary of their own worst fears. They might start to internalize these comparisons, altering their behavior to avoid the reflection you've painted. It's a detrimental cycle, fueled by past shadows instead of present realities. It may trigger them into destructive patterns, unintentionally fulfilling your negative prophecy. Choose your words wisely, for they can become self-fulfilling destinies. Labeling someone as overreactive is a classic way to dismiss their feelings. It's a phrase that can instantly invalidate their emotions, making them feel inferior or irrational. But according to research by Dr. Susan David, author of "Emotional Agility," dismissing emotions can lead to increased stress and mental health issues. It's not just a momentary sting; it undermines emotional trust and safety. By belittling their response, you essentially shut down any opportunity for genuine communication. They might learn not to express themselves, fearing judgment or ridicule. Over time, this can create a chasm in your relationship, built on a shaky foundation of misunderstanding. Instead of dismissing, try engaging—ask why they feel that way. The phrase 'I hate you' is like pouring acid over a relationship—corrosive and damaging. While you might not mean it, the weight of those words can linger long after the moment has passed. It's an absolute statement that leaves no room for peace or resolution. Saying it makes it appear as if there's no coming back, even if there is. Hate is an intense emotion, and using it flippantly can diminish its severity in real conflicts. It can drive a wedge between you and the person you care about, creating emotional distance. Later apologies may not easily erase this kind of scar. Better to express what's truly bothering you than to resort to explosive, empty declarations. This statement is a double-edged sword, cutting into the very possibility of growth. Saying someone will never change implies they are stuck in a negative cycle, incapable of improvement. It's a demoralizing comment that can make them feel trapped and hopeless. Over time, they might even start to believe it, feeling defeated before they even try. Psychologist Carol Dweck's research on growth mindset emphasizes the importance of believing in the capacity for change. By telling someone they can't change, you strip away their potential. It's a form of emotional sabotage that benefits no one. Instead, foster a belief in their ability to evolve, encouraging progress and understanding. Uttering this phrase is equivalent to erasing every good memory and shared happiness you've had with someone. It's a dismissive swipe at the entirety of your relationship, tarnishing the good with a harsh stroke of anger. Those words don't just sting—they burn. They can make the other person question every moment spent with you. It's a comment that can make them feel disposable, as though every shared moment was a waste. This can lead to a deep sense of betrayal and questioning of their own judgment. Apologizing later may help, but the damage of feeling unwanted is hard to undo. Better to express the specific issue than to invalidate the entire relationship. When you tell someone they always ruin everything, you're not just criticizing an action; you're attacking their character. It paints them as a perpetual problem, incapable of doing anything right. Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher in vulnerability and shame, emphasizes how such sweeping statements can foster a deep sense of shame. This can lead to them feeling inadequate and inherently flawed. This kind of language boxes them into a role you've assigned, making them feel imprisoned by past mistakes. It's an unfair burden that's hard to shake off. The truth is, no one ruins everything all the time; life is more nuanced than that. Address specific issues rather than resorting to sweeping generalizations that alienate and hurt. Claiming indifference is tantamount to giving up, and it stings like a slap to the face. It sends a message that the relationship, or the person, isn't worth fighting for. Even if spoken in frustration, it can make the other person feel abandoned and adrift. It's a comment that can echo long after the anger subsides. True indifference isn't something to wield lightly; it's the opposite of love. Once spoken, it's hard to retract, making the other person question your commitment. It can lead to a loss of motivation to resolve issues or fight for the relationship. Choose to express your feelings about the situation instead of resorting to blanket disinterest. Calling someone too sensitive is a way to put the blame on them rather than on the issue at hand. It's dismissive, trivializing their emotions and making them feel guilty for having them. This accusation can lead to a cycle of self-doubt, where they question their own reactions and feelings. It's a way to dodge accountability and put them on the defensive. It can also lead to deeper emotional withdrawal, as they fear being labeled every time they express a feeling. This kind of comment doesn't promote understanding or resolution. Instead, it fosters an environment where they are less likely to open up. Acknowledge their feelings as valid to create a more supportive dialogue. Labeling someone as a disappointment is a heavy blow that hits straight to the core. It's a comment that attacks their self-worth and achievements, implying they've failed to meet expectations. This can be a crippling statement, causing them to internalize failure as a part of their identity. It's a label that can follow them into future endeavors, casting a shadow of doubt. On hearing this, they might feel unworthy and incapable of making you proud. This can breed resentment, eroding the foundation of trust and respect. It can also discourage them from trying to meet any expectations in the future. Rather than criticize the person, address the specific action or result that disappointed you. Calling someone pathetic is more than an insult; it's an attack on their dignity. It belittles them, reducing their value to a single, derogatory word. This can have a long-lasting impact, making them question their worth and abilities. It's a comment that can lead to feelings of shame and inadequacy. Such a statement doesn't just hurt in the moment; it can have lingering effects on their mental health. Once you've labeled someone as pathetic, it's difficult to repair the damage. They may become defensive or withdraw, shutting down lines of communication. Instead, aim to communicate frustrations without resorting to name-calling. This phrase is a gut punch that implies disdain and intolerance. It's a painful comment that can lead the other person to question why you're still in the relationship. This kind of language is divisive, creating an emotional gap that's difficult to bridge. It's a statement that often comes from a place of frustration, not truth. Once spoken, it can signal the end of effective communication. The recipient might start to emotionally distance themselves, wary of further rejection. It's a hard sentiment to walk back from, even with apologies. Better to discuss specific grievances than to resort to sweeping statements of rejection. Comparing someone to another is a surefire way to make them feel inadequate. It's a painful reminder that they're not living up to someone else's standards, let alone your own. Such comparisons can breed insecurity, jealousy, and resentment, driving a wedge between you. It's an unhealthy approach that can result in a toxic cycle of competition. This statement implies you are seeking something they are inherently not, which is both unfair and damaging. It overlooks their unique qualities, failing to acknowledge what makes them special. They might start to change themselves to fit a mold they believe you desire, losing their sense of self in the process. Rather than comparing, appreciate what they bring to the table.
The Independent
34 minutes ago
- General
- The Independent
Disabled pupil left in burning school by fire service speaks out on ‘petrifying' ordeal
A disabled student who was left in his school when a fire broke out has spoken about his "petrifying' ordeal. Lucas Vezza-O'Brien, 16, who has cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair, was left alone in a classroom until firefighters arrived at his school in Hyde, Greater Manchester, in November 2024. Speaking about his ordeal on Good Morning Britain on Thursday (19 June), the teenager said: "I was petrified. I started to smell smoke and because of my disability, I was worried about my immune system. If I got smoke into my lungs, who knows what would happen?" Staff at the school said they followed Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service 's advice which is to 'leave wheelchair users' and allow emergency responders to come to their aid instead.
