Latest news with #solitude
Condé Nast Traveler
3 days ago
- Condé Nast Traveler
My Favorite Cabin in the Woods: Estonia's ÖÖD Mirror House
'Solitude is the school of genius,' the historian Sir Edward Gibbon once said. Which is why I'm here at this ÖÖD mirror cabin in the forested village of Lohusalu, 40 minutes west of Tallinn, Estonia. It's the perfect place for some quiet 'me' time and a digital detox to get my creative juices flowing. First morning, I wake up and peel off my eye mask to the sight of blue skies, and dozens of pine trees surrounding the glass walls of my cabin, while a black woodpecker hacks away at a trunk. It's a beautiful way to start my day in my self-catering cabin, which, at 200 square meters, has the feel of a spacious caravan. The queen-size bed's floral-patterned duvet cover lends a faintly rustic and retro homeliness that makes me forget that I'm glamping. But glamping it certainly is: there's a coffee table, two leather armchairs, and the modern kitchen is kitted out with every amenity I need, barring a toaster. It's self-catering, but there is a complimentary selection of teas, coffee and local beers. I boil eggs on the kitchen hob I've pulled out from the drawers, and make myself a coffee on the Nespresso machine. Storage is tight and clever, including in the bathroom, which manages to fit a good-sized shower, toilet, sink, and storage cupboard with its slender proportions. Being alone at a cabin in the woods is no reason to neglect my looks—thankfully, there's a wall-mounted magnifying make-up mirror and a hair dryer I can use before stepping out. Nearly half of Estonia's mainland is covered in trees, and here in Lohusalu the pine forest extends right up to the white-sand beach on the Gulf of Finland. It adds an extra dimension to my stay: I can step out of my cabin, admire the arboreal scenes reflected in its mirrored exterior, then hit the seashore within two minutes. Back at the cabin, I type my manuscript on the dining table on the wooden deck terrace; solitude in such leafy surroundings has definitely aided my creativity. When the stomach starts growling, I grill beef skewers on the easy-to-use charcoal barbecue and settle down for a tasty alfresco lunch. The silence and serenity here are fantastically calming (in three days, I see only a handful of dog walkers), yet civilization isn't far away. A 20-minute walk through the quiet forest takes me to the Arvo Pärt Centre, a modern museum space dedicated to the life and works of Estonia's most famous classical composer and musician. A kilometer further south I stock up at the local supermarket before eating a dinner of catfish, cauliflower cream, and pickled cucumber at Wicca, one of two restaurants at the beachside ÖÖD Hötels. The exterior of the property and its outdoor space Great views abound, even from the shower Next morning, at the mirror house, it's a scuttle through the crisp air into the adjacent sauna cabin—shared with the two nearby mirror houses—for a vascular-boosting steam session. As the sweat trickles down, I reflect on the fact that in one weekend I've managed to pack in wellness, culture, nature, and fine dining in a country I've never visited before—it's the kind of well-rounded glamping experience that ÖÖD Hötels lay on so expertly. This might just become my go-to spot for solitary relaxation.
New York Times
6 days ago
- New York Times
BBQ Chicken Is Always the Move
Good morning. Happy Father's Day. I hope you were out on the river yesterday, floating the East Branch under cloudy skies. I hope you netted a big brown trout and were able to gather with friends afterward to grill chicken and talk smack about all that happened and all that did not. That was my day, and it was excellent — even if I did not net a big brown trout. (Tough fishing!) There's a lot to be said for embracing an experience that puts you out of cellphone range, watching eagles soar on thermals high above your head. Try to make something like that happen for yourself this summer, even if it's just a long, solo drive from where you're at to somewhere remote, even if it's just a walk through your city without your phone. The solitude of the journey is healing. It makes the return, and the meal you cook after that, all the more delicious. I mentioned chicken. The other weekend, my pal Jamie marinated a family pack of bone-in thighs in unthickened teriyaki sauce, and made barbecued chicken (above) on a gas grill deep in the woods after a long day spent outdoors. It was glamping food, crisp and succulent, great with slaw, and it immediately rose in my ranking of best summertime feeds. That's dinner tonight even if all I get up to today is a trip to the market for ingredients. Featured Recipe View Recipe → Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
South China Morning Post
11-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- South China Morning Post
Chinese man, 35, refuses to work or get married, lives in a cave for 4 years
A 35-year-old man in China who believes work and marriage are redundant notions has been living in a cave for four years. Min Hengcai from southwestern China's Sichuan province calls home the adapted cavern in the town where he was raised. At the end of 2021, he gave up a ride-hailing driving job, which earned him 10,000 yuan (US$1,400) a month in the city, and returned home to live a life of seclusion. At the close of 2021, Min quit his ride-hailing job that paid US$1,400 monthly in the city and went back home to embrace a life of solitude. Photo: Min said he found work meaningless. He had previously worked for 10 hours a day to repay a debt he owed to relatives. He said he still owed the bank and lending companies 300,000 yuan (US$42,000). Min has given up hope of repaying them, adding that his relatives had sold his properties which could have been used to clear the arrears. He exchanged his land with that of a fellow villager, which was only one quarter the size of his, so that he could use the cave next to it.
BBC News
10-06-2025
- Entertainment
- BBC News
'Humans need solitude': How being alone can make you happier
From spending time by yourself to making the most of being single, flying solo can be fulfilling – a philosophy championed by a new wave of books. In Wim Wenders' recent film Perfect Days, the main character, a Tokyo toilet cleaner, spends many of his hours in solitude; watering plants, contemplating, listening to music and reading. While more characters are introduced as the film develops, for many viewers its earlier moments are, indeed, perfect; described by the BBC's own Nicholas Barber as a "meditation on the serenity of an existence stripped to its essentials", it really struck a chord. No wonder. Thoughtful and positive outlooks on solitude have been taking up more and more space on our screens, bookshelves and smartphones, from podcasts to viral TikToks. Seemingly, there's never been a better time to be alone. In the past couple of years, several titles on the topic have been released, with a few more in the works. Solitude: The Science and Power of Being Alone, and Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of Your Own hit the shelves in 2024, and Nicola Slawson's Single: Living a Complete Life on Your Own Terms was published in February. Then last month saw the release of Emma Gannon's much-anticipated novel Table For One; having made her name with non-fiction books questioning traditional ideas of success and productivity, Gannon is now reconsidering modern relationships, in a love story focusing on a young woman finding joy in being alone, rather than with a partner. Later this year, two more self-help guides, The Joy of Solitude: How to Reconnect with Yourself in an Overconnected World and The Joy of Sleeping Alone, are coming out, as well as a paperback, English translation of Daniel Schreiber's Alone: Reflections on Solitary Living, which originally came out in Germany in 2023. A shift in attitudes Packed with keen observations and helpful tips, this new wave of books aims not only to destigmatise solitude, but also to make a case for its benefits and pleasures. Such a powerful stream of publications might come as a surprise, at first, to everyone who has lived through the pandemic and inevitably heard of – or got a bitter taste of – the so-called "loneliness epidemic", a term popularised in 2023 by then US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. "Post pandemic, there [was] a huge focus on loneliness, for a really good reason," says Robert Coplan, a professor in psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa and author of The Joy of Solitude: How to Reconnect with Yourself in an Overconnected World. But because of the concerns about the effects of loneliness, he says, solitude ended up "with a bit of a bad reputation – throwing the baby out with the bath water, so to speak". Now, though, the discourse is course-correcting itself. The distinction between loneliness and solitude, according to Coplan, is an important one, and many writers echo this sentiment. "While loneliness is a serious and harmful problem for some people, it is a subjective state very different from solitude, that someone has [actively] chosen for positive reasons," says journalist Heather Hansen. In 2024, she co-authored the aforementioned Solitude: The Science and Power of Being Alone with Netta Weinstein and Thuy-vy T Nguyen. Hansen had watched the media telling us we're very lonely for a while; but as a counter to this narrative, she says, "people are reflecting on their own lives and recognising that they are choosing solitude for various reasons that benefit them". The message of rom-coms, love songs and Jane Austen novels – that we need a partner to be fulfilled – isn't backed by data – Peter McGraw "I have a theory that since the pandemic we've been able to clearly understand the difference between loneliness and chosen solitude," says Emma Gannon, who is also a big proponent of "slow living". The extremes of the pandemic – being cooped up with all your loved ones, or, contrastingly, going for months without human contact – had prepared us, Gannon says, "to have nuanced conversations about the differences between isolation and joyful alone time". Nestled cosily within these timely conversations is Gen Z-ers and millennials' re-evaluation of romantic relationships and enthusiastic embracing of single life, alongside a careful reassessment of interpersonal relationships in general. Gannon's new novel might be a fictional depiction of a young woman reinvesting in a relationship with herself, but it will ring true to many readers who grapple with what are increasingly seen as outdated societal expectations to "settle down". According to a 2023 US survey, two out of five Gen Z-ers and millennials think marriage is an outdated tradition, and in the UK only just over half of Gen Z men and women are predicted to marry, according to the Office of National Statistics. In April, a viral TikTok, with over one million likes and close to 37,000 comments, showcased one man's perspective on dating women who live alone, and like it this way. Many women deemed the analysis "spot on" and related eagerly. Nicola Slawson, who based Single: Living a Complete Life on Your Own Terms on her popular Substack The Single Supplement, isn't surprised. "The number of people living alone in the UK has been steadily increasing over the last decade or so," Slawson points out, with this fuelling a cultural shift towards the acceptance of single people, and putting a focus on "freedom and independence, and especially a rejection of domesticity, as women are realising they don't have to put up with things they might have been expected to in previous generations". Having said that, our cultural fascination with being alone is deeply rooted. Capturing the beauty of solitude has been a focus for numerous artists over the centuries – from German romanticist Caspar David Friedrich, whose great works include Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog, (c. 1817), which can be seen in the Hamburger Kunsthalle art museum's collection in Germany, to the revered 20th-Century US artist Edward Hopper, and his paintings of solo city dwellers. A New Yorker review of the 2022 Hopper retrospective at the city's Whitney museum noted, "Everything about the urban life he shows us is isolated, uncommunal – and yet his images of apparent loneliness seem somehow anything but grim, rather proudly self-reliant." Daniel Schreiber believes the correlation between people living alone, sans partner, and being lonely has traditionally been overestimated. "Society understands better now that romantic love is not the only model to live by, or something to wish for," he adds. "There are different ways of life, and it's not as necessary to be in a traditional romantic relationship." Revel in the soft blanket, the sound of music, the taste of your food. What can you see, smell, touch and sense when you are alone? – Emma Gannon In Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of Your Own, Peter McGraw, a self-titled "bachelor", and professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Colorado, makes a similar point, with gusto. "There's a lot of mythology around single living, and a failure to understand the reasons marriage was invented – mostly as a business arrangement," he says. "Frankly, the message of rom-coms, love songs and Jane Austen novels" – that we need a partner to be fulfilled – "isn't backed by data," he says, "if we look at the longitudinal data": many studies cited in Solo show that even if personal happiness spikes around marriage, it doesn't last. Even within a relationship, traditional routines can be upended to allow for more alone time, as advocated in The Joy of Sleeping Alone. Its author, yoga and meditation teacher Cynthia Zak, noticed that many women prefer sleeping alone to sleeping in the same bed as their partners, and decided to write the book, originally in Spanish, in order to advocate for "more space to express what we need and feel, more opportunities to let go of fears and limiting beliefs, and more freedom to choose". How to be alone well If being, and doing things, alone is increasingly widespread – and stigma-free – then how to make the most of it? A couple of key factors everyone agrees on are finding a healthy balance between solo time and communing with others – and having the ability to choose solitude, rather than being forced to experience it. "The greatest indication of success in time alone is that a person has chosen that space believing that there is something important and meaningful there," says Hansen, adding that solitude is a "neutral blob of sculpting clay; it can be whatever we mould it into". Fittingly, according to McGraw it's perhaps best to not mould said blob into "lying in bed, vaping and ordering Uber Eats". Rather, he suggests channelling alone time into creative pursuits and pastimes that tend to blossom in solitude; a walk or a run, people-watching at a cafe, going to a museum and "taking it all in, as fast or slow as you can". Or how about "sitting in a bath listening to Vivaldi", he adds more specifically, or taking an online course? Paul Storrie For those who are single, leaning into potentially blissful solitude – instead of waiting for it to be over – is advised, Slawson says. "I used to find myself putting off doing things until I 'settled down' or until I found a partner, but you need to live the life you have got and squeeze as much joy as possible from it instead of feeling like you're in a waiting room, waiting for your life to start," she says. And when societal pressure builds? "Don't default to any type of thinking or a script," McGraw suggests. "The nice thing is, that there's now an alternative script." More like this: • The rise of the slow living moment • Ann Patchett on writing amid chaos • The star tidying guru who transformed our homes More broadly, alone time is full of potential and possibilities. "I think solitude inspires a wonderful sense of creativity, it gets the juices flowing and encourages problem solving," Gannon says. She suggests treating solitude as an adventure – or a chance to reconnect with yourself, through journalling or revelling in your senses: "The soft blanket, the sound of music, the taste of your food. What can you see, smell, touch and sense when you are alone?". Further turning inward, says Zak, can deepen one's understanding of solitude; she suggests paying attention to moments of solitude, and turning these moments into recurring rituals that aid relaxation and reflection by practice. "Ask yourself, what is the thing that you most enjoy being alone with? Make a jewel of the moment you choose and give yourself the task to cherish this specific space more and more," she says. And most importantly, if obviously? It's about mixing things up. "Humans do need social interaction – but I would also say that humans need solitude," says Coplan. "It's finding the right balance that is the key to happiness and wellbeing. Everyone has a different balance that's going to work for them." -- If you liked this story, sign up for The Essential List newsletter – a handpicked selection of features, videos and can't-miss news, delivered to your inbox twice a week. For more Culture stories from the BBC, follow us on Facebook, X and Instagram.
Forbes
26-05-2025
- General
- Forbes
Why Some Leaders Thrive In Silence While Others Struggle
Have you ever found yourself craving silence when everyone around you is calling for collaboration? You're in a meeting, people are speaking quickly, ideas are flying around, but your best thinking happens later—on your own, away from the noise. Does that make you less of a team player, or just a different kind of leader? In leadership, there's often an unspoken expectation to be visible, vocal, and constantly available. But what if your strength lies in quiet focus rather than constant interaction? That tension—between deep solo work and the demands of team engagement—is something many leaders face, even if they rarely talk about it. Choosing to work alone isn't about pulling away from your team. It's about creating space to think clearly, plan carefully, and bring forward ideas that matter. Maybe you've had moments when your most valuable contributions came after time spent reflecting—not reacting. But in many organizations, collaboration is treated like a badge of commitment. If you prefer quiet thinking over group discussion, have you ever worried others might see it as disinterest? Do they understand your need for space, or does it come across as distance? If you find yourself needing solitude to do your best work, you could try framing that time not as absence but as part of your leadership rhythm. You might say, 'I need time to think through this deeply and I'll bring a draft tomorrow.' That one sentence can help reframe how your team interprets your silence. The disconnect often becomes visible in meetings. Maybe you've spent hours shaping a detailed strategy, but because you didn't talk through it during early discussions, colleagues are surprised or even skeptical. Or you hold back from constant group check-ins, and others start wondering whether you're fully engaged. Have you ever skipped a meeting because you were deep in focus—and then sensed you'd missed more than just updates? In environments where collaboration happens fast and out loud, working alone can unintentionally signal that you're not part of the team's momentum. If that's familiar, you could choose to stay silent longer and risk misunderstanding, or you could step into brief, strategic touchpoints where your input has the most weight. Sometimes just showing up at key moments helps bridge the gap. When people don't understand your need for independent work, it can affect more than just team dynamics. It can shape how you're seen as a leader. You might be seen as distant, even if you're deeply invested in the work. That misperception can gradually impact trust, decision-making, and even how your ideas are received. Have you ever shared an idea you developed on your own, only to find it was too late to influence the group's direction? Timing matters. Insightful contributions can be lost if they arrive after the team has already moved on. That's not a failure of content—it's a mismatch of process. If you often find that your insights are developed in solitude but need to land within fast-moving conversations, you could adapt by sharing rough drafts earlier or giving others a glimpse into your thinking before it's fully formed. If you lead best through quiet thinking but want to stay connected with your team, here are a few simple ways to navigate that balance. Leading with focus doesn't mean rejecting teamwork. It means knowing when to step back, and when to step in. Think back to a time when your solo work unlocked a new direction for your team. What made that possible—and how can you do it again in a way that brings others along with you? The goal isn't to work louder. It's to make sure your quiet leadership is visible, understood, and aligned with what your team needs. When done well, focused independence can become a core part of a high-trust, high-performing culture.
