Latest news with #relationshipissues
Yahoo
a day ago
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Worries Her 40-Year-Old 'Big Mama's Boy' Husband Will Never Be Independent
A woman worries her husband, who's a "big mamma's boy," will never be independent In a post on Reddit, she writes that his mom weighs in on everything from his 401k to "what soap cleaner is best" "A few months ago I told him his mother is a dealbreaker, but I'm not confident he will ever truly be independent," she writesA woman says her 40-year-old husband is so reliant on his mom that she's worried he'll never be truly independent. The woman shares her dilemma in a Reddit post, writing, "My (35F) husband (40M) is a big mamma's boy. He hid this for the six years we were long distance." "He needs her opinion in every small and big thing and texts and calls daily (401k for new job, will boxes fit in the car for a move, what soap cleaner is best)," she writes. "The thing is, in the beginning he wasn't like this when we dated in person. He had career troubles and court stuff (due to her) so she stepped in and took over; she has access to all his finances, emails, etc since then (unbeknownst to me)." Now, the couple has been married for a couple of years, and his mom's "overreach" is killing the romance. "He has slowly been trying to untangle himself but things came to a head when we moved recently. I rearranged a busy work schedule to move half our stuff on Memorial Day weekend," she writes. "He was agreeable at first, but then closer to the date I suspect he spoke to her and she shut it down bc he refused to do so." Come moving day, the woman enlisted her own parents to help, and her husband got into a fight due to his car being too full of the couple's belongings. "A few months ago I told him his mother is a dealbreaker, but I'm not confident he will ever truly be independent," she writes. "Another thing is he lacks initiative in housework and has to be assigned tasks. My family thinks I deserve better." Now, she's debating what she should do and taking to Reddit to ask others if relationships can improve despite a meddling mother-in-law. "Has anyone seen an improvement being in a relationship with a mamma's boy or is it better to cut losses now?" she writes. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Reddit users aren't confident the relationship can improve. "You're not imagining it, mamma's boy habits like that rarely just disappear," writes one commenter. "And if she's controlling his finances and emails? That's a giant red flag, not 'relationship growing pains.' You're waiting for a man to show up who's been buried under his mom's thumb for years. Time to ask yourself if you want a partner or a perpetual child." Adds another: "If you feel like you're shouldering all the emotional labor and boundary-setting, it might be time to reevaluate. Consider couples therapy to explore these issues further. Ultimately, you deserve a partnership where your needs are respected." Read the original article on People
The Sun
06-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
James Argent's ex Nicoline Artursson slams his ‘controlling ex' and says ‘there was one too many in relationship'
JAMES Argent's ex-girlfriend Nicoline Artursson has hit out at his "controlling ex" for causing major issues with their ill-fated relationship. In an 800-word statement, Nicoline finally spoke in depth about the domestic abuse she suffered at the hands of Argent last month. 5 5 5 The Swedish beauty queen was injured after being pushed down steps outside the home they shared in Spain. He was arrested and spent several hours in police cells before admitting a charge of domestic violence in court. Now, Nicoline has claimed former Towie star Lydia Bright was an unwelcome, interfering presence during their year together. She said: 'I felt there were too many people in our relationship: me, my boyfriend and his ex. 'Three's a crowd', they say. 'I asked so many times if we could be just the two of us, but the answer was a strong NO. 'I experienced what I can only describe as targeted emotional distress which he allowed to continue.' Nicoline continued: 'After being together for one year my boyfriend finally promised me that he would have boundaries. 'He would put a stop to all that had been going on for months. 'But he didn't. Instead he broke the promise and her controlling behaviour continued. The rest is history.' Argent and Lydia's love story started off screen nearly two decades ago when they were teens and their drama-filled romance made legendary TV on the ITVBe show - gripping viewers with its constant twists and turns. Domestic abuse - how to get help DOMESTIC abuse can affect anyone - including men - and does not always involve physical violence. Here are some signs that you could be in an abusive relationship: Emotional abuse - Including being belittled, blamed for the abuse - gaslighting - being isolated from family and friends, having no control over your finances, what you where and who you speak to Threats and intimidation - Some partners might threaten to kill or hurt you, destroy your belongings, stalk or harass you Physical abuse - This can range from slapping or hitting to being shoved over, choked or bitten. Sexual abuse - Being touched in a way you do not want to be touched, hurt during sex, pressured into sex or forced to have sex when you do not consent. If any of the above apply to you or a friend, you can call these numbers: The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night Men who are being abused can call Respect Men's Advice Line on 0808 8010 327 or ManKind on 0182 3334 244 Those who identify as LGBT+ can ring Galop on 0800 999 5428 If you are in immediate danger or fear for your life, always ring 999 Remember, you are not alone. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse over the course of their lifetime. Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse. They split in 2012, and Argent was accused of calling her a "sl*t" in text messages after learning she'd slept with someone else following their separation. Despite this, they have maintained a close friendship and Lydia views Argent as an uncle to her daughter, Loretta, five. She has stuck by her ex and close friend following his arrest and insists he's not a violent man. A friend who knows both Lydia and Arg very well tells The Sun: 'When it comes to what happened with Arg and Nicoline, Lydia would never condone violence and has made that very clear to James, but she doesn't think that he is a violent man and she knows he deeply regrets the events of that night. "She has stuck by him, even though she doesn't agree with his actions - just as his other mates like Mark Wright have." Lydia was also there for Argent when his weight ballooned to nearly 30 stone amid drug and food addiction. 5 5 Nicoline Artursson's statement in full It's now been a month. I still can't believe it. My fractures on my body have finally healed but I'm wounded inside. I've been quiet long enough. Silence protects no one - and it almost destroyed me. What started as a love story sadly turned into something else. Behind the pictures, promises and the plans for a life together - the beautiful days - changed into something into sadness with emotional manipulation and eventually physical harm. I loved deeply, believed in our future and stood by someone I thought would protect me and instead I was left alone and harmed in ways I never imagined. I was not only failed by him but deeply affected by the presence of unresolved ties to his past. Yes I posted an Instagram story with a simple yes or no question about if your ex should be a part of your present relationship. I felt there were too many people in our relationship: me, my boyfriend and his ex. 'Three's a crowd', they say. I asked so many times if we could be just the two of us, but the answer was a strong NO. I experienced what I can only describe as targeted emotional distress which he allowed to continue. The ex and her family put us through so much misery and false accusations, I won't go into details. They had no reason whatsoever to do what they did to us, but for some reason they wouldn't let go and let us enjoy our love. Everybody knows that real friends support you and want to see you happy. So I posted a story on Instagram. After being together for one year my boyfriend finally promised me that he would have boundaries. He would put a stop to all that had been going on for months. But he didn't. Instead he broke the promise and her controlling behaviour continued. The rest is history. I was brutally thrown out of our new home in the middle of the night wearing only my pyjamas. I opened the door to let him in and only minutes after I found myself laying down on the stairs outside our house. My clothes and belongings were being thrown out from the balcony down on me. I was injured. Thanks to incredible neighbours who heard and saw what happened and acted, I got help. They called police, brought me to safety and ensured the incident was taken seriously. A gentleman does not abuse you and end up in jail and call you the love of his life. A gentleman does not blame you for his actions. A gentleman will confide in his partner, family and close circle of friends, keeping them close and safe. A gentleman chooses you always and leaves the past in the past - including exes. Life is to be lived together and not to please people who want to take advantage of you. At the end of the day, fame can only do so much - it's all about being strong and growing together. Life is simply not a reality TV show, life is real. I have tried to understand why. I have cried so many tears thinking about the way he chose to hurt me. He said he loved me and I believed him and here we are. There is now a legal record of what happened. Violence has no excuse - no matter how much love preceded it. To those who questioned me for staying as long as I did: I stayed because I believed in love. I believed he and we could grow, could heal, could choose peace. But love doesn't survive in chaos. And it cannot survive where violence lives. To every woman reading this: if you've ever questioned your worth, your safety or your sanity in a relationship - this is your sign. You deserved to be loved with care and integrity. And you are not alone. To the men: real strength is protection. Real love is safe. Be the kind of man who lifts women up - not one who breaks them down, neither by violence or silence. To the future: never say never. I will get the little family I've always dreamed of and have my dream wedding to symbolise and celebrate true love in front of my dear family and friends. I'm healing now. Slowly, bravely and unapologetically. I will rise and I will use my voice - not for vengeance but for truth. For every woman who's been silenced by someone who said 'I love you' and then proved otherwise. This is not just my story. It's a reminder: abuse - whether emotional, psychological or physical - has no place in love.
Yahoo
01-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Planned a Family Vacation, but Is Having Second Thoughts After Her 23-Year-Old Son Invited His ‘Older' Partner
A woman is no longer excited for a family vacation after finding out her son wants to bring his "older" partner and the partner's nine-year-old child The woman says her son, 23, has been dating his girlfriend for about a year and claims she is 'very controlling' The mom shared her story on a popular community forum to get advice about how she should handle the awkward situationA mom says she is no longer excited for a family vacation after finding out that her son wants to bring his "older" partner and the partner's child. The woman detailed her experience on the 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' forum on the U.K.-based community site a place where women can go to seek input and advice from other women. In her post, the woman shares that she and her husband have three children — two teens and a 23-year-old son — and that they are currently planning a vacation for next Easter in a cosmopolitan city. She says that she was 'really looking forward to' the trip — until she found out that her 23-year-old son wants to bring his partner of about a year along with her nine-year-old child. The original poster (OP) goes on to explain that her son's partner is 'very controlling.' She also says that while the partner's child is a 'sweet kid,' they are also non-verbal and have a number of behavioral issues that are 'generally very tiring.' 'We've only spent a day with [the child] before, and we were all shattered afterwards,' she says. The OP says that while her son doesn't seem to think that bringing his partner and the child on their family vacation is a 'big ask,' the rest of the family is not especially thrilled with the prospect, noting that it will 'change the whole holiday.' 'AIBU [am I being unreasonable]?' the OP asks at the end of her post. Opinions were mixed over whether or not the OP's feelings are valid. One person said they thought excluding a grown child's significant other — especially when the couple will have been dating for nearly two years — is the wrong move. The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! "It'd be pretty s----- to exclude a partner of nearly two years,' they said, adding, '[And] with a child with [special needs], babysitting options are very limited, so by excluding her child you would be excluding her.' 'I would tend to agree that if someone's been with your [son] for two years (by that point) that a 'family' holiday includes them,' said someone else. 'You're talking almost a year from now. If you'd include a nine-year-old without additional needs after two years in your family then not including them [instead of] adapting to fit around them, is a bit of a d--- move tbh [to be honest].' Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Other people, however, said they thought the OP's feelings were completely valid, and noted that bringing a child on a vacation that is otherwise geared for teens and adults, is not ideal, whether the child has special needs or not. 'I think it's reasonable to say that everyone's expectations of this particular holiday are grown-up things, but you can look at going away all together in the future,' one person suggested, adding, 'And then evaluate if you want to at that point if they are still together.' Another person said, 'You could be completely honest with your [son] and tell him that you think it will change the whole nature of the holiday, that the nine-year-old is going to be bored doing the things that everyone else wants to do and that you don't really want to do anything that would appeal to a nine-year-old.' They added, 'Depending on his response, it might be a perfect opportunity to ask him whether he's worried about how [his partner is] going to react to being told 'no' and if he wants to talk to you about it.' Read the original article on People
Telegraph
23-05-2025
- Telegraph
‘My husband spent £60k on his secret fiancé – then was sectioned'
Has a company treated you unfairly? Our Consumer Champion is available to help. For how to contact her click here. Dear Katie, Just before Christmas last year, I suspected that something untoward was going on with my husband. He kept going out for drives in his car at strange times, and I found one or two Apple gift cards in his pocket, which I initially thought nothing of. But then, one day, I decided to open his glove compartment. To my horror, about 60 Apple gift cards fell out. I said nothing, but did a bit more snooping and discovered a series of strange cash withdrawals totalling around £30,000 from his Nationwide current account. I didn't confront him about it, as I was scared about his reaction, but I confided in my adult children. Having discovered the level of withdrawals from his account, I went down to his local branch of Nationwide to report this. I explained to them that there was unusual activity on his account in the form of daily ATM withdrawals of £500 cash, and asked them to look into the Apple gift cards. However, I was told that as he was making the withdrawals from ATMs, it was none of their concern. I was told that since it was his account, he would need to come in himself. A few days, later my children confronted him about it all. He told them that he had been having an affair with a woman he met online. I already knew he liked to go on Facebook and had been commenting underneath various celebrities' posts – including Agnetha from Abba, Susannah Reid and Sandra Bullock. He seemed to believe that they were personally responding to him, which spurred him on to leave more comments. But in January 2024, he received a response to one of his comments from a woman called Natasha, who then began messaging him on a one to one basis. They were chatting on WhatsApp and developed some sort of relationship. He began buying Amazon gift cards and giving them to her – spending £30,000 on these in addition to the Apple gift cards. She said she was going to leave him her entire inheritance and, upsettingly, in the messages she referred to him as her fiance. My husband was in such a state after this conversation that my children took him to hospital and he was sectioned under the Mental Health Act. There he was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia, which is a rare form of the disease impacting personality, behaviour, language and speech. Unlike other types of dementia, memory loss and concentration problems are less prominent in its early stages, hence why we had not realised there was anything seriously wrong. Once my husband was on the hospital ward, the doctor wrote to Nationwide advising them of the scam and that he was sectioned. Since then, Nationwide seems to have taken the situation seriously and has opened a case with its Financial Crime Department. Bizarrely, they wrote directly to my husband at his home address, even though he is not there. Despite attempts by myself and his children with numerous phone calls and visits to the branch, we have been unable to get Nationwide to understand the extent of the situation. My husband is still sectioned, and due to his rapidly advancing illness, is now unable to communicate verbally. Nationwide has now written to my husband telling him that as he has not responded, they will be closing his account on May 13. Unbelievably, it asked him to visit his local branch with a valid ID, which obviously he cannot do. To date, they have frozen his account but direct debits are still being paid, namely money to run his house and car insurance. If Nationwide closes the account, all these important payments will not be made and with no power of attorney in place, we have no means of accessing money to ensure these payments are met. This has been and continues to be an extremely upsetting situation for our family to find my husband incapacitated so quickly. This upset has been exacerbated by the attitude of Nationwide in offering no assistance at all. – Anon Dear reader, After living what you would have described as a normal married life for so many years, the rug was suddenly pulled out from under your feet just before Christmas last year when you discovered your husband's 'affair'. In an almost unbelievable turn of events, he was then sectioned and diagnosed with a rare form of dementia, which has caused his mental state to rapidly deteriorate to the point where he can no longer speak. He is now receiving one to one care in a home and you say he will never be able to leave due to the degenerative nature of his condition. After uncovering his horrible secret, I imagine you have been left questioning the integrity of the man you thought you knew, with no hope of an explanation. But you have also had to come to terms with the fact that you have lost him forever because he is never coming back from this seemingly sudden illness. I'm so very sorry for your loss and all that you have endured over the past few months. This has felt like a dreadfully sad end to what was otherwise a long and happy life together. I think what's highly likely in retrospect is that your husband's frontotemporal dementia had already kicked in back when he started talking to 'Natasha' on Facebook in January last year. You say he has always been loyal in the past, and all this was extremely out of character, which I totally believe. It is the case that sufferers of frontotemporal dementia can be more vulnerable to scams due to changes in their judgement and decision-making abilities. The disease can also affect a person's ability to manage money and assess risk, perhaps explaining why he was suddenly willing to spend £60,000 on a woman he had never met in person, despite previously having a track record of being faithful and financially prudent. I want to be clear that as an outsider looking in I don't see this episode as an affair at all. It was a cold hard romance scam in which this woman, who was likely part of a criminal enterprise, preyed on your husband at the very moment when he happened to be losing capacity. People like her are highly trained in manipulation, and can often succeed in casting a spell over people with no known mental issues. So I'm afraid that once in her clutches, with his state of mind, he stood little chance of escaping. Since you and your husband have always had separate bank accounts, and you did not set up a lasting power of attorney for each other in case one of you lost capacity, dealing with the aftermath of the scam has been horrendously difficult. You say Nationwide has been extremely unhelpful, which I was sorry to hear, but I'm afraid that it is bound by regulations which state that since you are not named on the account it cannot deal with you. I note that you said your husband did receive a visit from social services last year in relation to a financial matter, however, you were under the impression they were simply warning him about the messages he believed he was sending to the real Sandra Bullock. In fact, I believe this may have actually been triggered by Nationwide following all the unusual activity on his account, as under banking protocols, if it suspects someone is being preyed on and may be losing capacity, then it is able to involve the police/social services. However, social services cleared him as being okay, as did his GP two months before he was sectioned, you say. Since your husband has lost capacity, he cannot consent for me to discuss his account with Nationwide, which has made investigating his case somewhat tricky. Yet although it has been unable to discuss his account in any detail, I was pleased when Nationwide did confirm that his accounts will be safeguarded and will remain open to allow you to make the appropriate Court of Protection application. This is now underway, and I have also received confirmation that once it is in place, or in the event of his death (which you have been warned by doctors may not be too far off), we can retrospectively make a claim for a refund under the Contingent Reimbursement Model, which delivers refunds for scams. Given the situation, I think your husband stands a good chance of getting his money back. Although it won't undo the terrible trauma you've endured in recent months, I know the return of his £60,000 would help, so I'd like to assist you through the process when we're able to proceed. I truly wish you all the best. A Nationwide spokesman said: 'We can't provide customer information on this case (without authority to do so). However, our staff are trained to spot vulnerability indicators and refer customers to our specialist support team, who will review complex cases like this with the utmost care. 'We work closely with local police and refer to social services as appropriate based on the facts of the case. We review all cases on an individual basis to help support victims through really difficult periods.'
Times
18-05-2025
- General
- Times
My partner mocks me, controls me, withholds sex — is she abusing me?
Q. This feels embarrassing to even write. I'm a man in my mid-thirties. I've been with my partner for six years. From the outside everything looks fine, but in private she calls me names, mocks me in front of others, twists things I say and then tells me I'm too sensitive. She won't have sex with me if I've done anything to upset her (which is basically all the time). She monitors who I talk to, accuses me of cheating if I don't reply fast enough, and brings up my past mistakes in every argument. If I push back she becomes even more nasty, so I've stopped challenging her. But here's the thing: she's never hit me. She's just emotional and she's had a hard
