Latest news with #neurodivergence
Forbes
15-06-2025
- General
- Forbes
3 Ways The ‘You're Not Like Others' Line Traps You — By A Psychologist
Why does being appreciated for your uniqueness feel so validating? And what conditions does this ... More compliment come with? Statements like, 'You're not like other people,' 'You're not like the others I've dated,' or 'You're different. Special,' often land like compliments. They might even feel deeply validating, especially if you've spent much of your life feeling misunderstood. To be told you stand out, that you're exceptional, can feel like you're finally being seen after years of invisibility. Being singled out and appreciated touches something vulnerable: the part of you that's longed to be chosen for the very things that make you different. But these words that sound like flattery can subtly shape the way you show up in the relationship, pushing you to perform rather than simply exist. And when love hinges on being 'not like the rest,' it's rarely as unconditional as it first appears. Here's the psychology behind this common line, and why it may not be the compliment you think it is. Many people carry an internal belief that they don't quite fit in. It's a feeling often rooted in childhood exclusion, neurodivergence, trauma or simply being more observant than expressive. So when someone says, 'You're not like other people,' it speaks directly to that unhealed wound. It feels validating, even comforting, that someone finally sees your uniqueness. But what sounds like recognition can be performance bait. Instead of helping you feel safely understood, this kind of compliment can reinforce a sense of separateness. It puts you outside the circle of 'ordinary' people. And once you're placed outside that circle, it can become hard to relax or let your guard down. This has several consequences. A 2020 study published in Communications Research Reports, using the Communicate Bond Belong (CBB) theory, found that when people become more self-conscious about how they present themselves in social interactions, they tend to expend more social energy, experience less enjoyment and feel less connected in the moment. This is especially true in interactions where people feel they must maintain a certain image, often at the cost of their authenticity. So while being seen as 'different' may initially feel flattering, it often leads you into a silent performance loop. You start to self-monitor. You suppress your needs. You fear slipping up. Eventually, you may notice that you feel more tired after interactions instead of feeling more connected. Because what seems like a pedestal is often just a spotlight. And unfortunately, spotlights don't keep you company for too long. Once someone casts you as 'not like the rest,' you may begin feeling pressured to keep living up to that image. In romantic relationships, this pressure can feel especially heavy. You may find yourself: What initially feels like admiration can quickly become a role you're afraid to fall out of. Rather than building closeness, this dynamic breeds performance-based worth. One where you don't feel valued for who you are, but for how well you maintain the persona someone else admires. A 2015 study published in Self and Identity exploring how people present their relationships to others exemplifies this. It was found that individuals with high attachment anxiety (those more preoccupied with acceptance and rejection) engaged in heightened self-presentation when they anticipated interacting with another romantic couple. The study highlights how social comparison and relational visibility can intensify the drive to curate one's image, particularly for those already unsure of their worth. In essence, if you already fear being unlovable, being labeled as 'special' can heighten that fear. But when you start performing solely to feed your desire for approval, you also start losing your authenticity. In turn, the other person only connects with a polished version of you, not your whole, complex self. That's how flattery becomes a trap. Conditional affection starts as praise but ends in self-erasure. And when you finally show up as fully human, the admiration may disappear because it was never really you they loved, but the role that you played. If you've struggled with feeling 'not enough' in past relationships, it might feel validating when someone compliments you by putting others down. But, while these compliments may come across as genuine admiration at first, they're just comparisons in disguise. Comments like 'You're not like other girls,' 'You're not needy like my ex,' 'You're so chill, not like most people,' don't acknowledge who you are as a person. They merely shape you into someone more convenient — someone who won't ask for too much, feel too deeply or challenge their comfort. This is conditional positive regard in action. Research published in Journal of Personality in 2016 shows that, in romantic relationships, conditional approval (even when masked as praise) undermines relationship quality by threatening your sense of autonomy. When love is earned by meeting unspoken expectations, you begin to shrink yourself to stay accepted. The trap begins to close in on you when you start suppressing your needs, emotions and complexity out of fear of losing the admiration that once felt so affirming. What's worse, the person who once said, 'You're not like the others,' may one day say, 'You've changed,' or, 'You're just like the rest.' The compliment was never stable; it was a condition. You will know a connection is genuine when it doesn't ask you to compete with someone's past. It doesn't reward you for outperforming someone else. Rather, it makes space for your full, emotional, imperfect humanity, and still chooses you. Pay attention to what psychologically healthy dynamics sound like. Real, grounded connection is reflected in compliments like: These statements are anchored in specific behaviors and present-moment experiences, as opposed to vague comparisons or inflated ideas of uniqueness. They don't put you on a pedestal. While being seen as unique can feel wonderful, we have to be cautious when that uniqueness comes with pressure to uphold a fantasy, or worse, when it's built by tearing others down. Here's what you need to hear, or simply remind yourself: 'You don't need to be exceptional to be loved. You just need to be allowed to be yourself.' Because real intimacy isn't about being unlike others. It's about being truly known and loved, exactly as you are. Wondering if you can show up authentically in your relationship? Take the science-backed Authenticity In Relationships Scale test to find out.
Khaleej Times
15-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Khaleej Times
'I am not a practical person': Why Aamir Khan made 'Sitaare Zameen Par'
Aamir Khan doesn't strike you as someone who wears nostalgia on his sleeve—but when he starts talking about his childhood, you sense how deeply it shaped him. 'I used to sit in the room while writers pitched stories to my father,' he tells me over Zoom. 'I was five or six. I didn't realise it then, but I was being trained in storytelling.' It feels poetic, then, that decades later, storytelling still forms the core of his universe. With Sitaare Zameen Par, his first release since Laal Singh Chaddha, Khan makes a quietly powerful return—not with a star-studded spectacle or an action-heavy box office play, but with a feel-good film about ten neurodivergent children and the grumpy coach they end up transforming. The film is set to release on June 20 in the UAE, and it's considered a "spiritual sequel" to Taare Zameen Par, but Khan suggests one key distinction. 'That film was about the teacher helping the child. This one? It's the children who help the coach.' He plays a basketball coach who is made to do community service by training Neurodivergent adults after a DUI. When asked why this story, and why now, Khan doesn't hesitate. 'It made me feel happy. And it changed something in me. It altered how I see neurodivergence. That's what drew me in.' It wasn't the practical choice. In fact, the actor admits that after Laal Singh Chaddha didn't perform well, many around him suggested a safer, more 'theatrical' return. 'They said I should do an action film—those are doing well post-Covid. But I'm not a practical person,' he laughs. 'This script had entered my bloodstream. And once that happens, I can't do anything else until I've let it out.' That 'letting out' has resulted in a comedy that, while light in its tone, carries a significant emotional heft. 'It's a film that makes you laugh—and then, I hope, it touches something deeper.' Inclusion begins with childhood At the heart of Sitaare Zameen Par is a call for inclusion—not just on screen, but in society. 'It's sad that neurodivergent children are often segregated from an early age,' Khan says. 'They're sent to special schools, grow up among themselves, and are kept apart from what we call 'mainstream' life. But that's a loss—for them, and for us. Neurotypical kids miss out on learning empathy, joy, and acceptance. And neurodivergent kids miss out on friendships and opportunities. Inclusion should start in schools.' His voice grows more impassioned as he continues: 'I recommend to every parent—choose a school where your child grows up with children who are different. That's how you raise rounded adults. That's my dream.' To bring that dream to life, the film cast ten neurodivergent actors—nine of whom were facing the camera for the first time. And for Khan, it was one of the most enriching experiences of his career. 'We followed the same process we do for any film—screen tests, rehearsals, workshops. But the energy they brought to set? That was something else. They were positive, enthusiastic, ego-free—and that energy infected all of us.' What surprised him most was how seamlessly the actors adapted to the rigorous demands of a film shoot. 'There was no delay, no special treatment needed. In fact, their professionalism and authenticity made all of us better. One of the actors, Gopi, didn't even speak Hindi—he's from Kerala. Yet he pulled it off beautifully.' Playing the opposite Khan's own character, Gulshan, is nothing like him. 'He's rude, self-centred, politically incorrect. A bull in a china shop,' Khan says. 'I was raised to be polite, respectful. So this role gave me the chance to say and do all the things I'd never do in real life. It was entertaining.' Though he's often associated with meaningful cinema, Khan insists he doesn't chase 'message movies.' 'Have you seen Delhi Belly?' he laughs. 'No message there! I like all kinds of stories. But when a script is both powerful and socially relevant, that's when I get really excited.' And what genre hasn't he explored yet? 'Horror,' he says. 'I get really scared. I've never been able to finish one.' Khan also credits director RS Prasanna for anchoring the film with the right tone. 'He's sensitive, non-judgmental, and most importantly, he waits for the right story. Shubh Mangal Saavdhan was a hit, but he didn't rush into another film. So he has the patience to wait for material that excites him and that's a remarkable quality.' He also acknowledged the director's ability to guide the debut actors. When asked what he might have done if not for films, Khan says, 'Maybe a sports coach. Or a teacher. People say I explain things well. But honestly? I can't imagine being anywhere else. I grew up in stories. They're my home.' For now, Sitaare Zameen Par feels like the kind of film that reminds you why we fell in love with Aamir Khan in the first place—not just as an actor, but as someone with a knack for storytelling. He ends our call the way he began—with a quiet, sincere hope. 'I believe in the magic of cinema and I believe in my audiences.' After several decades in the industry, he still wants to make us feel something. And honestly, that should be enough.
Globe and Mail
03-06-2025
- General
- Globe and Mail
Therapist Angela Jacobs Helps Patients Achieve Lasting Transformations and Healing
When clients need reflective counseling, Chiral Center Counseling PLLC is the ideal place to feel intensely seen and heard. Therapist Angela Jacobs specializes in trauma, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), relationship and narcissistic abuse, neurodivergence, and substance use for couples and individuals. Discover the difference that finding the right therapist makes at Chiral Center Counseling PLLC, where Angela Jacobs, LMHCA, helps clients feel heard, seen, and understood like never before. Jacobs helps clients get to the root of longstanding struggles, so they can heal and go on to move mountains, with professional support and guidance every step of the journey. Jacobs' unique approach to therapy makes her an ideal therapist for people looking to 'dig deep and get shit done.' Jacobs spent her early career as a successful entrepreneur, running an award-winning winery until her daughter was born. After leaving that industry, she returned to school for accounting, but was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after graduating. During cancer treatment, she realized spending the rest of her life doing taxes would be far less rewarding than helping others build better lives in meaningful ways. Her immense store of varied life experience helps Jacobs provide exceptional care, empathy, and understanding to her clients. 'I am passionate about helping my clients find support, healing, and peace that will pay off in dividends of wellness far into the future,' Jacobs said. Patients receiving therapy from Jacobs at Chiral Center Counseling have praised her outstanding perspective, which she approaches from three angles: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. Jacobs provides a nonjudgmental environment where clients receive careful yet firm assistance toward their goals. 'You may not know it, but grief, trauma, rejection, abandonment, and more could be holding you back from living your most fulfilling life,' Jacobs said. 'Let's process the hurt. You owe it to yourself to make time for your mental health.' Schedule a compatibility call today to learn whether Jacobs and Chiral Center Counseling offer the right setting for getting things done and making meaningful changes. The 15-minute compatibility call is free, and all session pricing is posted on the website. Jacobs offers equine-assisted therapy in Washington state near Chelan and Manson. She also provides numerous treatment options focused on depression, anxiety, substance use, impulsivity, ADHD and other neurodiversities, trauma and PTSD, grief, abandonment, attachment issues, and much more. Visit the Chiral Center Counseling website to learn more about psychotherapist Angela Jacobs or to schedule an appointment. Treatment is available for teens, adults, individuals, couples, and families to deal with a multitude of mental health conditions and emotional difficulties. Media Contact Company Name: Chiral Center Wellness PLL Contact Person: Angela Jacobs Email: Send Email Country: United States Website:
Forbes
30-05-2025
- Health
- Forbes
Bodies, Brains And Burnout: Three Tips For An Emergency Reset
The Royal Society of Medicine in London are set to host a conference in July relating to the convergence of symptoms between Covid-19, hypermobility syndromes and neurodivergence. A diverse range of specialisms (immunology, rheumatology, psychiatry, cardiology) are coming together to discuss the extent of overlap in these patients. It is increasingly recognised that many neurodivergent people are experiencing greater levels of chronic illness, which may have been exacerbated by / precipitated by the Covid-19 outbreak. The organisers state: 'post-COVID, we can still see the ongoing 'fall out' of hypermobile and neurodivergent patients. Particularly young, working-age people are rendered disabled, and more women are affected than men.' This is incredibly damaging to career prospects and, given how little knowledge exists in mainstream medical and occupational health circles, can feel confusing and frightening for those who don't know where to turn for advice. Many are struggling to stay in work, or on course. Burnout is real – defined as an occupational condition, where chronic stress has not been managed and leads to exhaustion, apathy and reduced productivity – and, the organisers suggest, much more common in people with this overlap in symptom and diagnoses. Whilst we wait for further research and development, and seek first line support from medical practitioners, it's good to remind ourselves of how we can self-help in burnout: boundaries, rest, self-care. Many ambitious, career-driven people struggle with the concept of rest. We plough on until we fall over, thinking of rest as a reward for our hard work. You need to flip this narrative and rest in order to do your best work instead. But before you can focus on making time for rest, you need to reset your boundaries. You will be required to say no and 'let people down.' You will have to do this with friends and family as well as colleagues. If you are a people-pleaser and your identity is tied up with being useful, this will be difficult. Two things to remember: (1) you can't be helpful to anyone if you 'crash out' and (2) you are a human being not a human doing. Not everyone will respond positively if you stop doing what you usually do. Some people may want you to continue exhausting yourself to make their lives easier. Considering who those people may be in your life is actually quite helpful long term, so consider this a cleansing moment rather than an abdication of your responsibilities. This is an area where a professional could add value. For example, coaching is very effective for workplace burnout, counselling can help you process your dynamics in personal social groups or choose clinical therapy if you need to work on deep seated family relationships and trauma. You are not the only person in burnout right now, you can find support and validation in online groups or with peers who have experienced the same. Groups where the facilitation is professional and trained are recommended. For example, Project 507 CIC have a range of options from a free newsletter to a Book Club right up to monthly supervision groups and formal training. These are particularly targeted for professionals working in social justice and caring professions. Seeking peer support is one thing but long term, the goal is for you to have an internal reference for your own limits and to feel comfortable knowing when you have had enough, given too much and redrawing the boundary. You don't need permission from anyone to know your own capacity. 'I know I'm in burnout, but I don't know where to start.' This comment, overheard recently, reminded me of the 'brain fog' that comes with some health conditions, where your cognitive processing speed has been compromised, leading to feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to even start. You start, by stopping. Review your diary for the next month. Cancel all non-essential plans and obligations. Delay and defer anything you can. People will understand: 'I'm terribly sorry, I need to address some urgent priorities, and I won't be able to complete the project against the current deadlines. I could deliver by X / I recommend (insert alternative colleague or provider).' No need to over explain. The urgent priority, by the way, is YOU. Give your permission to slow down the cardio if you need to and seek medical advice on what might be better for you. Lots of career driven people are exercise junkies, but with hypermobility syndromes exercise needs careful planning and professional guidance. Rest and recovery is as important as exercise in a sustainable health routine. Further, if you are suffering from chronic fatigue, exercise has been found to exacerbate symptoms and can be totally counter-productive until you have recovered. Sleep, watch TV, read a book, avoid scrolling your phone – this is not restful. Buy a basic phone if you have to or take breaks with no phone. After rest comes the self-care, which could include diet, therapies, recreation. It can be very difficult to plan a healthy diet when you are overwhelmed and in brain fog, so you need some 'go-to' short cuts, like a list of simple food that you can easily action over a weekend to give your body a break. You might have some frozen meal portions that you can eat instead of a takeaway, if you also eat differently from the family. Parents might need different food to growing kids, but cooking separately is yet another thing on the to do list, so instead of worrying about solving the problem permanently, plan yourself a one meal or one weekend alternative just to feel like you are investing in yourself. Nutrition is key to chronic fatigue but you can't solve this yourself, in one go. Start with what you can manage and seek help with nutrition. It may be important to check for deficiencies like Iron, B12 and vitamin D and have your Thyroid function checked. Always seek medical advice if you are concerned. Therapies like massage and yoga cost time and money. Often people in burnout can't handle even one more thing to plan! What is the easiest, quickest most relaxing thing you can do for yourself? Sitting in the garden with your morning tea or even five minutes of deep breathing could be the place to start. Just the very act of doing something for yourself, just for you, not because you must or because someone else needs it can be the start of a mental reframe. When you are in burnout, motivation for recreation can be hard. The planning and logistics might take so much effort that the actual fun or social interaction is not worth it. So again, the advice is to start with something small, just opening the door and letting a tiny crack of light in! This could be as small as a WhatsApp exchange with someone who makes you feel energised not depleted, or watching a film you've not had time for yet. Professor Emeritus Amanda Kirby is a neurodiversity expert who has been writing about this for many years. She notes the need for resources to address the challenges of burnout associated with Covid, hypermobility syndromes and neurodivergence: 'I think adversity is a key component for secondary challenges impacting on health and wellbeing post Covid - there is greater inequity in society and who gets help and support.' Professor Kirby points out the link between adversity and chronic health conditions over a lifespan and the limits of 'siloed provision despite co-occurrence being the rule rather than the exception'. Having first published on the link between neurodivergent conditions like Dyspraxia (Developmental Coordination Disorder) and hypermobility in 2005, Professor Kirby welcomes the increasing attention these issues are getting in the post-Covid crisis of work absence.
The Guardian
19-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
TV tonight: people with dyslexia meet Chris Packham in a moving series
9pm, BBC Two'Like a slippery fish you're trying to grab hold of. And you can't.' This is how Suiki describes her dyslexia as Chris Packham's two-part series concludes. He has a particular connection to this form of neurodivergence as his stepdaughter, Megan, has dyslexia. But what becomes clear is that the experience of dyslexia affects people in different ways. Packham is engaging and empathetic, helping Suiki explain her dyslexia to her brothers, and making builder Lee the star of his own musical. Phil Harrison 7pm, BBC TwoPenguins, Led Zeppelin and the plays of Tom Stoppard are among the specialist subjects in the final of the Clive Myrie-hosted quiz show as contestants battle to be the 2025 champion. Whoever wins, the knowledge they have accumulated is probably a greater prize than the trophy – a glass bowl. Alexi Duggins 8pm, BBC OneOlympic swimming medals are often decided by hundredths of a second. But does trying to reach such elite levels mean coaches are justified in bullying and fat-shaming? Rebecca Woods talks to swimmers who went through traumatic coaching experiences and asks if the regulator is doing enough to safeguard young hopefuls. Graeme Virtue 8pm, Channel 4Does any country in the world take its supermarket lunch offers as seriously as the British? Almost certainly not. Joe Swash presents this lighthearted two-part documentary exploring the options, ranking the savings available and pondering what this daft consumer obsession says about us. PH 9pm, Channel 4 It may sound like a tacky reality TV show but this series has proved admirably sensitive and even moving in places as the participants confront their intimacy struggles. Ben feels bad after another rejection in a group workshop but Emma fares better after revealing a secret. PH 9pm, Sky AtlanticIn the penultimate episode, Tommy and Ellie have some reckoning with the past to do – if they can get a minute between fending off the Seattle-strain spores, that is. And who would you rather face in a hand-to-hand combat: a horde of mushroom-headed monsters or the ghost of your long-lost loved one? Ellen E Jones Malcolm X, 11pm, BBC Two As ever when that wrecking ball of creative energy, Spike Lee, goes historical, the present-day resonances are clear and central. His biopic of political activist Malcolm X (a charismatic Denzel Washington) starts with footage of the beating of Rodney King and ends with a cameo from Nelson Mandela, but there is plenty in the personal experience of the robber turned Black nationalist leader to excite interest and anger. A story of idealism nurtured then thwarted, whether you agree with Malcolm's views or not it is a fitting tribute to a major figure in US history. Simon Wardell Premier League Football; Brighton v Liverpool 6.30pm, Sky Sports Main Event
