Latest news with #introvert
Yahoo
a day ago
- Health
- Yahoo
Lifelong Friends Move in Together. But Then Pal's Disrespectful Behavior Threatens to End Friendship
Two lifelong friends moved in together, but it quickly turned disastrous One of the women often disregards her roommate's boundaries, causing tension between the two Now, they wonder if they can salvage their friendshipLiving with a friend can be challenging, especially when boundaries are crossed. A 25-year-old woman seeks support from the Reddit community after ongoing tensions with her best friend and housemate have made their living situation increasingly difficult. The two have been close for decades and were initially excited to live together. However, over time, their differing needs and disregard for each other's wishes have led to tension. Now, the poster has come to realize that their lifestyles have become incompatible. 'I have always known I am pretty introverted and came from not a great family home, so shared with her ahead of time that I will need alone time and there may be days when I'm just chilling solo in my room,' the woman writes in the since-deleted post. Her housemate, on the other hand, turned out to be far more extroverted than she had realized before moving in. This fundamental difference has contributed to growing friction, along with her friend's disregard for boundaries. The woman describes how, while she was out of town, her housemate damaged their shared car but failed to inform her. 'She had some kind of minor accident leaving noticeable scratches on my wing mirror and didn't tell me, leaving me to have to ask about them when I found them,' the woman writes. Beyond property concerns, her housemate often makes unsolicited comments about the poster's health, despite being asked to stop. This is particularly sensitive given the Redditor's history with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and a past eating disorder. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 'She will often comment on my diet and make comments about my exercise even when I ask her not to as my health is a difficult journey for me and diet in particular triggers my past binge eating disorder from my crappy home life," she writes. Her housemate has also been allowing people, including strangers, to stay in their shared space without permission. When confronted about this, she failed to respect the woman's wishes for future instances. The final straw came when the woman walked into their living room and found her housemate and her boyfriend being intimate with the door open. 'I just think she should be more considerate and I don't think I want someone in my life who doesn't care about me or how their actions would make me feel,' she writes. Though they have discussed many of these issues after the fact, the woman notes that nothing has changed. Now, as she prepares to move out, she is left wondering whether their friendship can—or should— survive beyond their time as housemates. Read the original article on People
South China Morning Post
7 days ago
- General
- South China Morning Post
A Chinese teacher's clever trick helps introverted boy shine in class
A primary school teacher in China has been praised online for a clever way of helping an introverted pupil interact with his classmates. The teacher organised a lucky draw for her second-grade students to decide whether they would play outside for the rest of the class or stay inside and continue the lesson. The teacher intentionally chose a shy boy to represent the class. The boy appeared to be in a daze for a few seconds before standing up from his seat and walking towards the front of the classroom. He seemed nervous at first but became more relaxed as his classmates encouraged him. The child drew a blank piece of paper, indicating that they could play. When the teacher asked him to display the result to his classmates, the whole room erupted with delight, happy they could go outside. But the teacher had actually guaranteed that the boy would pick a blank piece by making sure all the papers were blank.
The Guardian
28-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Overwhelmed by company? Five introvert-friendly ways to hang out
When I arrive at a gathering I tend to announce my departure in the same breath as my greeting. 'Hi! I brought some wine, where do you want it? Just letting you know I can only stay an hour because I start work really early on Sunday mornings.' Then I might throw in a little yawn and stretch. Restaurants aren't much different: my leg's likely to be jiggling before the order has been jotted down. The last mouthful of dessert sounds a last-drinks bell in my head. It's not that I don't love my friends. I've just got a window of tolerance for face-to-face activities, and then the agitation kicks in. I've been so fascinated by social reluctance that I wrote a book exploring it, The Introvert's Guide to Leaving the House. In my 30s, I'd embarked on a five-year mission to become more outgoing, figuring out which situations I could be comfortable in, and setting myself exercises in social etiquette, empathy and positive reframing. These techniques became second nature by the time I hit my 40s, so I decided to share what I'd learned. It seems timely. When discussing the book with non-introverts, I realised that social overwhelm has massively broadened in recent years. Whether you blame lockdowns, news-cycle malaise or digital-era disconnect, we're less likely to commit to an outing. But I've learned it's possible to engineer low-key hangs that charge an introvert's social battery – or at least don't drain it as quickly. The three-second rule doesn't just apply to dropped food. As reported by the British Psychological Society, a 2016 study of nearly 500 participants found the vast majority felt most comfortable with eye contact that lasted just over three seconds. Business blogs from Throughline Group to Inc will tell you that's the optimal eye gaze time because you're showing engagement without becoming unnerving. That's why shoulder-to-shoulder activities are such a relief. These are activities we do alongside each other rather than face to face, such as going to a gallery, playing pool, a games night, joining your local chapter of the Silent Book Club or taking a simple walk – cheapest hangout ever. Men tend to naturally go shoulder to shoulder more than women; in fact, the Australian Men's Shed Association slogan is 'Men don't talk face to face, but shoulder to shoulder'. I prefer to know in advance how many people are coming. A newish friend once suggested we go on holiday overseas. I agreed, we made an itinerary, then she announced that another woman, who I didn't know, would be joining us. 'The more the merrier!' said the friend. Worst holiday ever. The maths is simple: the more bodies there are in a social pile-up, the more overwhelming it becomes. A single person is possible to read. A scenario with two people requires split concentration to accommodate them both. More than two people means second-guessing what everyone is thinking, so knowing what is most appropriate to say is absolutely impossible. It can help to know who's coming in order to take a moment beforehand to recall the last time you met each person and what was going on for them. Having a one to one side-conversation with someone about something that interests them is infinitely better than aimless group small talk. You could even make notes in your phone contacts whenever you've had an interesting chat. It's not stalking, it's anthropology – you're studying your community. What if you don't know the people? I like to gamify a situation I'm not looking forward to. In this scenario the game could be: figure out who in this group could potentially be your new BFF. Find common ground. Many introverts take the scraping of chair legs across a cafe floor extremely personally. We're sensitive to loud, unscheduled noises (at kids' parties, balloons were a nightmare for me), so venues with the acoustics of a concrete cube are best avoided lest we fritz our synapses. For anyone with sensory processing issues or simply of an irritable nature, a table of six people talking at once sounds like a beer hall during Oktoberfest. Worse, there's probably going to be cross-talk, where more than one conversation is competing for our brain's attention. In these social gatherings I often fall silent. People must think I have the consumptive constitution of a 19th-century muse. If it's just you and a friend, you could likely get away with suggesting a venue change because you're dying to hang on to their every word but can't hear them. If it's a larger group you could try wearable tech – the fancy term for earplugs. Brands such as Happy Ears, Earjobs or Loop earplugs reduce background noise while still allowing conversation to cut through. Every year I fly back to the UK for a week-long family holiday by the seaside, but despite wanting to see my family, I find being fully present during this intensive period a real struggle. After each trip my cousin Adam posts a big album of photos to Facebook. Without fail I'm only in about two photographs, because all week I've been 'just going back to the house', 'just off to get something' or giving them a head start to the beach hut and promising to catch up. Eventually. One year, I decided I would consciously opt to skip certain activities and fully participate in others. Of course, I chose to commit to shoulder-to-shoulder activities. For instance, I opted out of sitting and chatting in the beach hut, but committed to a board game in the evening. Think of the next lengthy get-together you've got coming up and consider what elements you'll sit out and what you'll commit to. Then make sure you're in the photos. Now you've committed to a hangout, give yourself time to self-regulate, since your mood has an effect on others. That means no sighing on arrival or being distant. Introverts can find it harder than most to communicate what's going on for us, but developmentally, managing our spillage is something we ought to be on top of by the time we leave school. If we're still killing everyone's buzz as adults, then it's something we've given ourselves permission to do, hoping people will just make allowances. If your modus operandi has always been Wallow Now, Apologise Later, a good way to behaviour-check yourself is to ask: am I likely to send an apologetic text to this person later? If the answer is yes, try to tackle your behaviour in the moment instead. You might acknowledge your mood and say you're going to reset. You could even half-jokingly ask the other person to help you out by giving you an update on their news while you're 'rebooting'. Better still, take a few minutes before a meet-up to focus on your positive relationship with the person and what might be going on in their life. Ultimately, the best way to get out of your own head is to consider another person's needs. Jenny Valentish is the author of The Introvert's Guide to Leaving the House (Simon & Schuster, A$36.99)
ABC News
26-05-2025
- Lifestyle
- ABC News
What happens when an introvert falls in love with an extrovert?
Author Jenny Valentish describes herself as an introvert and a reformed sociophobe. For most of her professional life, she resorted to Dutch courage before going to social events. So, how does she navigate life with a partner who says he's a "card-carrying extrovert"? In her new book, she offers advice for introverts and sociophobes. Guests:
Forbes
25-05-2025
- Business
- Forbes
8 Ways Introverts Can Win At Work When Surrounded By Extroverts
Did you know that as an introvert working with extroverts, you are perceived as less competent in your organization than the extraverts? Imagine you are leading a team in your organization, constantly having to prove you can do what you need to do, but your leadership assumes you can't because you are an introvert. When you think of social careers in sales, teaching, or healthcare, images of confident, charismatic people moving from one conversation to the next likely come to mind. Behind many successful professionals in these people-focused roles are introverts who thrive on deep thinking, solitary reflection, and meaningful one-on-one interactions without constant engagement. For introverts, the emotional labor of social roles can come at a cost. Meetings, small talk, presentations, and customer demands pull from the same energy reserve they need to focus and recharge. Without proactive self-care and boundaries, this mismatch can lead to exhaustion and, eventually, burnout. As an introvert who leads a team while working daily with customers supporting multiple contract deliverables, I have found the following strategies are key to many aspects of being an introvert. These include conserving my energy so that when I get home, I don't run straight to bed or constantly scroll on my phone. Being married to an extrovert requires using these strategies to support my home life and not just my work life. As an introvert, you are good at pushing through discomfort to meet professional expectations, but that doesn't mean it's sustainable. Chronic fatigue, irritability, mental fog, and loss of enthusiasm are early signs of burnout. How to: Audit your energy. At the end of each day, ask yourself: Which parts of today drained me? Which parts energized me? Track your answers for a week to identify consistent patterns. This self-awareness is the foundation of prevention. You may even consider taking a day of personal time off to recharge instead of just using the weekends. Unlike extroverts, who often gain energy through interaction, introverts recharge in solitude. How to: Build quiet time into your calendar before you need it. Treat 15–30 minutes of quiet time like an unmissable meeting. Take a walk while listening to music or a favorite movie. Eat lunch alone. These micro-moments reset your nervous system and preserve your clarity. Social roles often come with expectations for after-hours event participation. How to: Show up and stay as long as it is appropriate for you; however, for work-related events, such as those focused on business development, you may need to commit to being there the entire time. For other events outside of work requirements, say hello to the host, make it a point to talk to one or two people, and once you feel you need to leave, depart gracefully, saying goodbye and thank you to the host. No one is tracking your time. They will appreciate you making time for them. Time management works on the assumption that you can do more if you schedule more. For introverts, the key metric isn't hours but energy. Energy management is about matching tasks to your natural rhythm, but if you conserve your energy, you may be able to support more personal goals after you leave work, rather than feeling exhausted and going to bed early. How to: Schedule your most socially demanding tasks during peak energy times. For many introverts, this is mid-morning or early afternoon. Reserve late afternoon for solo work, writing, or thinking time. Don't schedule deep work after a string of meetings. One of the fastest paths to burnout is saying 'yes' to everything. Setting boundaries is incredibly challenging in collaborative roles where being helpful feels like part of the job. How to: To protect your time, say: 'I'd love to contribute, but I need to wrap up another priority first.' 'Can I respond tomorrow? I want to give this my full attention.' 'I have plans and cannot make it to your event.' The goal isn't to isolate yourself from your teammates or family. The goal is to protect your energy so you can show up thoroughly when it matters most. Being visible at work doesn't always mean being the loudest voice in the room. Introverts often shine in thoughtful, strategic, and one-on-one interactions. How to: Share your wins and ideas in writing. Use strategic visibility practices to demonstrate your value. Advocate for structured check-ins with your manager rather than relying solely on informal visibility. Like athletes need recovery days, introverts need a consistent end-of-day or end-of-week plan to recalibrate. Plan your way to recharge. Without these plans, stress accumulates. How to: Choose a ritual that signals to your mind that the social part of your day is over. It could be a walk, a shower, journaling, or changing into comfortable clothes. Repeat it consistently to build a habit your body will recognize. Or even consider taking a longer way home to have more time with your thoughts or to just decompress. If your current work environment constantly drains you, it might be time to explore a better environment rather than find a new role. Some companies are more accommodating of deep work and asynchronous collaboration than others. How to: Talk to your manager about flexibility, such as fewer meetings, more remote days, or asynchronous work options. When evaluating new roles, ask about communication norms and meeting culture. Introverts bring calm, focus, empathy, and thoughtfulness to their roles, which are vital in high-interaction careers, and your strength requires support. Self-care isn't selfish. It's a way for you to continue to be there for your people continuing to work in a world that doesn't always recognize introvert competencies while staying true to yourself.
