Latest news with #greenflags
Yahoo
3 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Women Are Sharing The 'Green Flags' More People Should Pay Attention To, And I'm Inclined To Agree
As a society, we talk a lot about red flags, but perhaps we should talk more about the green ones. Unlike red flags, green flags are the positive qualities and signs found in a person that signal trust, respect, and support. In r/AskWomen, someone asked, "What's a 'green flag' you wish more people talked about?" Answers poured in. Here's what people had to say: 1."People changing their opinion after receiving new information and admitting they're wrong. It shows great emotional maturity." — Valuable-Disaster567 "This. Self-awareness and willingness to be wrong were the first things I noticed about my husband back when we were friends." — Tiny_Jumping_Beans 2."Honestly, I wish more people talked about how great it is when someone genuinely listens without trying to fix everything or jump in with advice. Just being heard with no judgment or quick solutions is such a rare and awesome green flag." — MeetingContent1947 3."Apologizing because they meant it and not because you called them out." — Louisianimal09 "Yeah. Saying sorry not just to end the conversation." — Baby_Driver2945 4."Having cats as pets." — Cautious_Gazelle7718 "Men with cats are always a good sign." — ODeasOfYore 5."When someone admits they don't know something instead of pretending they do." — Flirty_Babe0 6."Gardening. If someone regularly tends and cares for their plants, they're probably a good person overall. They have patience and gentleness. They are constantly learning and adapting. The whole concept of gardening is centered on nurturing life. You can't get greener than that." — ODeasOfYore 7."Remaining calm and kind when another person is going through something that bothers them." — askingoutright 8."Silliness. In a world where we're isolated, people are so rarely silly. When I see someone being a goofball or unapologetically themselves, I am enamored." NBC / Via — wyomingtrashbag Related: This "Brain Rot" Word Quiz Will Be So, So, So Difficult For Anyone Born Before 1999 9."Empathy." — SparkleStorm93 10."Being curious." — Sea_Client9991 11."Recycling. Actually giving a damn about the planet." — Awesomeandkindaweird 12."Being able to lose a board game (or any game) without getting sour and making everyone else feel uncomfortable." — natural-lily "So true. Being a good sport is something everyone should've learned in kindergarten and adults who lack this skill are such a red flag." — West-Crazy3706 13."Someone who remembers things about you. What you've told them, like if they see you like certain foods or drinks, etc." — _TwinkleSiren Related: Fair Warning: You'll Need A Minimum IQ Of 135 To Pass This Vocabulary Quiz 14."People who have their own established things, like hobbies, friends, and go-to rituals and places, before you get into their life. They were themselves before they were with you!" — Intelligent_Tank6969 15."Having friends of the opposite gender." — estachicaestaloca 16."A good listener." — MmmBlackCod 17."Tolerance and gently/intentionally working through disagreements instead of immediately cutting people off/out." — b0x8 18."A willingness to try new things, whether it's food, activities, TV shows, etc. I dated so many guys who never wanted to branch out from what's familiar, and I'm not a spontaneous person. I think someone with an adventurous nature can better roll with the chaos that life brings." — Tiny_Jumping_Beans 19."Having dogs as pets." BuzzFeed Celeb / Via — legendofdoggo 20."Trying to make me feel less shit about a mistake I made. Though I am sorry, I appreciate someone trying to make something not seem like a big deal because life goes on." — TheStarChilld 21."Communicating their feelings. Being able to say, 'Hey, this doesn't make me feel good,' or, 'what you said made me upset,' is so much better than people shutting down and keeping you guessing as to why they're distant." "My girlfriend is super good at telling me how she's feeling, and I really like it because I can adjust myself to help her or ask her what she'd like or needs to feel better. Nobody is left feeling like they're misunderstood." — MarsupialNo1220 22."Being able to adapt to different moods and situations! From silly to serious or difficult situations, dealing with them with ease! Huge green flag." — Icalivy 23."People who do kind acts behind the scenes without the need of any recognition or credit." Netflix / Via — thewinterflower 24."Being kind to children, the elderly, disabled people, and service workers. Being genuine in that kindness with no ulterior motive." — Loisgrand6 25."People generally appreciate honesty, but nobody talks about how much of a green flag it is when somebody who wants to impress you tells you something that they know will piss you off." — T-Flexercise 26."Anyone who goes to therapy is such a good sign. I'm a firm believer that everyone can benefit from therapy." AppleTV+ / Via — gaz_is_my_hero 27."When someone takes accountability without getting defensive. They listen, reflect, and try to do better without making it all about them. That kind of emotional maturity is so attractive and way more powerful than empty apologies or over-the-top gestures." — scientist_hotwife Do you agree? Do you have green flags to share? Drop them in the comments! Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity. Also in BuzzFeed: 50 People Who Died In Embarrassing, Nightmarish, Scandalous, Horrifying, Disturbing, Or Even Darkly Funny Ways Also in BuzzFeed: You Might Be Intelligent, But Only A TRUE Smarty-Pants Will Be Able To Get 25/25 On This General Knowledge Quiz Also in BuzzFeed: I Translated These US States Into A Set Of 5 Emojis — Let's See If You Can Decipher Even Half Of Them
Yahoo
25-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
What Are 'Pink Flags' In Relationships?
There's a lot of talk of 'flags' in dating and relationships. Perhaps the most common ― red flags ― refer to signs of toxic behavior or clear incompatibility in a partner. Think: love-bombing, being rude to waitstaff and trying to control and manipulate your every move. Green flags, on the other hand, are signs of a good partner. You might have found a keeper if you communicate well and feel comfortable being yourself around them, for example. But there's another flag color that falls in the middle of the spectrum: pink flags. Below, relationship experts explain how to recognize pink flags and what to do about them. 'Pink flags are subtle indicators that you might not be a fit in a relationship,' said Damona Hoffman, an OkCupid dating coach and host of 'The Dates & Mates Podcast.' She noted that they're not as overt as red flags, which tend to be compatibility and behavioral issues that anyone can recognize as problematic. But even though pink flags are less serious, it's important to address these minor problems, rather than let them fester. 'Pink flags are the kind of warning signs that you can talk yourself out of and overlook until they become red,' Hoffman explained. 'Alternatively, you can also make pink flags into relationship dealbreakers when they were simply subtle differences that could have been worked through.' Alysha Jeney, a therapist and owner of Modern Love Counseling in Denver, similarly emphasized the importance of recognizing pink flags when they arise. 'Pink flags could be something that you intuitively sense is a bit off, but you're trying to give the relationship time to determine its severity,' she said. 'They can also be trigger points from past relationships that you want to be mindful of. Pink flags are important to make note of in relationships and be used as a point of reflection.' Pink flags come in many forms that vary from relationship to relationship, but there are some common examples. 'One that I hear clients discuss is a person who has limited opinions on things ― for example, never has an opinion or doesn't care where you eat, what you go do, etc.,' said Liz Higgins, a relational therapist and founder of Millennial Life Counseling. 'Another is differences in political or religious belief systems.' Being messy or not texting often enough can be everyday pink flags as well. While these issues aren't automatic dealbreakers, they shouldn't be swept under the rug either. 'Some pink flags that should be observed are changes in behavior,' said Mabel Yiu, a marriage and family therapist and CEO of Women's Therapy Institute. 'As an example, if they used to be affectionate, but they have become less so over time.' Pay attention if your physical relationship has changed or you've stopped being intentional about dating and growing as a couple. 'Another pink flag is unmatched love languages, such as acts of service and physical touch,' Yiu said. 'This is not a serious issue if both partners are willing to pull closer and accommodate another's love language.' Sarah Weisberg, a licensed psychologist and founder of Potomac Therapy Group, stressed the importance of taking note of your own thoughts and behaviors, as well as your partner's. 'When we notice ourselves deliberately or inadvertently hurting others, it's important to take a step back and ask ourselves what's going on,' she said. 'What could this be telling us about our conscious or unconscious feelings about the relationship? In these instances we might need to do some work on ourselves, listen to our intuition and have some hard conversations.' Still, what's a red flag to one person might actually be a pink ― or even green ― flag for you. 'One person's too much texting is another person's just right,' Hoffman said. 'You need to figure out what your needs and wants are in a relationship and be able to communicate that to your partner. Use pink flags as a signifier that you need to get more information rather than a signifier that the relationship is doomed.' 'Pink flags are easier to ignore and thus potentially more damaging than red flags,' said Tracy Ross, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in couples and family therapy. 'Sometimes pink flags feel subtle ― you don't catch them the first or even the second time ― as opposed to red flags that are obvious if you let yourself see them. But if something nags at you repeatedly, it's time to pay attention.' She recommended asking yourself, 'Is this workable, is this person willing to work with me, willing to communicate, work through things together? If I express my concerns, do they hear me and take in what I'm saying?' A pink flag could turn out to be the indicator that leads you to discover a red flag. In the process of exploring a pink flag, you might find that your partner isn't willing to figure things out together. 'Every relationship has that dance and has to find that balance,' Ross said. 'Pink flags are those things that make you question whether or not it will be possible, red flags are the areas where you find out it won't be.' She cautioned against confusing pink flags with just having the unrealistic expectation that your partner will meet each and every one of your needs. Instead, focus on feeling complete in yourself while identifying what is important to you in a partner. 'One sure way to understand the difference between pink flags and red flags is to give serious and honest thought to what you want in a relationship ― do an inventory of your 'must haves,' your 'nonnegotiables,' and your 'would be nice ifs,'' Ross explained. 'If you spend time reflecting on that in advance and know what you are looking for ― what you can and cannot compromise on ― then it will be much more clear when you see an actual flag.' 'Regardless of whether it's a pink flag or a red flag, the most important thing is not to ignore it,' Ross said. 'The discomfort or uncertainty surrounding these issues often leads to avoidance, and all kinds of relationship issues grow from avoidance.' Rather than letting things simmer unaddressed, take the time to process the pink flags you observe. Then, talk about them. 'I would say knowing your safe spaces to explore these notions is important: with a therapist, a trusted friend, a safe relationship, especially if you're in the beginning stages of dating,' Higgins said. 'Sometimes it's more appropriate to wait a bit before putting every last thing out on the table. In a newer relationship, the bond isn't as structured or secure, so bringing up a lot of super important things right away may not work as effectively. Balance is key.' Consider why you might be feeling concerned or uncomfortable, and if it's possibly part of a bigger issue you that need to work through on your own or together. Sit with it and think about whether you're making assumptions or projecting. 'Pink flags might also give you an opportunity to communicate with your partner(s), and how you do so can in itself determine if the relationship is one you want to continue with,' said Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist and the co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. 'Regardless of whether an issue is big or small, it is important in any relationship that you are able to communicate about it in a healthy way, and feel comfortable expressing your feelings and concerns.' She also advised acknowledging the positive aspects of the relationship. Focus on communicating honestly to see if the pink flag issue is nonnegotiable, or if it's something that you can accept or reach middle a ground on instead. 'It's important to pay attention to pink flags but not to be obsessed with them or let them overtake your relationship,' added Hoffman. 'They are simply things to keep an eye on or concerns you should get curious about.' 6 Little Green Flags That You've Found A Keeper What Exactly Is A 'Situationship'? As An Asian American Woman, This Is The Dating App Red Flag I Don't Talk About
