Latest news with #ghosting
Independent Singapore
6 days ago
- Business
- Independent Singapore
‘Is this considered normal in SG?' — Jobseeker says interviewer ghosted her after they collected her payslips, income letter, tax letter, and referee contact details
SINGAPORE: A jobseeker shared on Reddit that she was ghosted by a prospective employer after completing several rounds of interviews and submitting multiple personal documents. Posting anonymously on the r/askSingapore subreddit, she explained that she had applied for a position that was originally advertised as a full-time, permanent role. After several interviews, however, the company informed her that the job would now be offered as a 12-month contract instead. They cited her career break and previous history of short-term roles as factors behind the decision to switch her to a contract position. Despite the revised terms, she chose to proceed with the application. The company then asked for her 'payslips, an income letter, a tax letter, and the contact details of her referees,' stating that these were needed to prepare the job offer. Unfortunately, after providing the necessary documents, she heard nothing more from the company. 'They completely ghosted me for a month now,' she said. 'Is this considered normal or fair in Singapore? Or should I be concerned that my info was used? Would love to hear others' or HR professionals' thoughts on this. Thanks,' she added. 'Your best option is to move on…' In the discussion thread, a Singaporean working in human resources said the whole thing sounded super shady. They explained that when a company is preparing an employment contract, the only document typically required is the NRIC. They added that there is usually no valid reason for a legitimate company to request income letters or tax documents at the hiring stage. The person suggested that whoever was asking for all these documents might not be a real employer but could be trying to collect sensitive personal data. 'It sounds as if some scammer wants your data instead of a company. This seems so BS. Referral contact makes sense. But if they ghost you, sometimes it MIGHT also be because they said some stuff that doesn't align with what they want,' they added. Another Redditor commented, 'Red flag. You noticed it. If you don't move on, then any problem you face in the future is on you.' A third wrote, 'No, not normal at all. I would have pushed back on the income letter and tax letter, and even for pay slips, I would have redacted certain information. This company is sus as hell.' A fourth advised, 'There are many things that could have happened. Your references didn't work out, the company strategy changed, the hiring manager or HR left, there is a hiring pause because of tariffs/war, etc. It's not ideal, but nothing to be concerned about. I know it sucks when you were so close to landing a job, but your best option is to move on.' MOM: Only job-related info should be requested While the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) does not explicitly prohibit employers from requesting documents such as income letters or tax records, such requests are generally uncommon. For payslips, candidates have the right to decline if they are uncomfortable sharing them. Moreover, as per their guidelines, employers should only collect information that is directly relevant to assessing a candidate's suitability for the role. This includes qualifications, work experience, and job-related skills. See also Leisure marketplace SelenaGO raises seed funding from UMG Idealab Application forms should also avoid questions about personal details such as race, religion, marital status, pregnancy, or disability, unless there is a clear and valid reason related to the job. Read also: $1.5K a month and drowning': 27-year-old creative worker shares fears about the future Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
News.com.au
13-06-2025
- Business
- News.com.au
Jobs marketplace says ‘ghosting' of Gen Z jobseekers is rife
Sarah* sent an email she never expected to get a response to. The 23-year-old had just graduated from a communications and media degree in Melbourne and sent a 'cold email' to an employer at her dream job. She was shocked when she heard back and was told there was a role 'that would be perfect' for her. 'The only problem is that it was in Sydney. I told them I was based in Melbourne but would be willing to move if the role suited,' she told 'This was me potentially relocating my whole life so I took it very seriously.' Things progressed fast and within days she was invited for an interview. It lasted 40 minutes and her interviewer seemed 'very excited and enthusiastic'. After three weeks, Sarah contacted the office again. She was invited for a second interview that lasted an hour. 'They seemed very into me and really positive. They said to me, 'Don't wig out if you don't hear back, we'll get back to you'.' That was mid-November last year. She has been ghosted ever since. 'They went out of their way to say, 'don't worry, we'll contact you' and then I never heard anything,' Sarah said. She has since found work but the experience left a bitter taste in her mouth. And she is not alone. A Sydney jobs marketplace says ghosting is one of the most common experiences for jobseekers. The co-founder and CEO of employment website Hatch, Adam Jacobs, said jobseekers were reporting disturbingly high rates of ghosting. Hatch conducted a poll in which 80 per cent of respondents reported ghosting 75 per cent of the time they were looking for jobs. They said it left them 'frustrated', 'feeling unemployable although I am very skilled', 'questioning thewhole system', 'defeated, unsure and on edge' and 'frustrated and anxious'. One said: 'It makes me feel terrible. If I was not accepted, I would still like a response to add rejection to my Excel sheet.' Jacobs, who also co-founded THE ICONIC, wants his new venture Hatch to 'ghost bust' the jobs space. 'When we talk to candidates about their experience of looking for jobs, ghosting is always top of the list of their frustrations,' he said. 'When someone's applying for a job, it's a nerve-wracking experience. They're putting themselves out there and when they don't hear back, it's incredibly demoralising. MORE: 8 jobs you can do while travelling 'It also gives the candidate a very negative impression of that employer and their brand. The risk for employers is not just that they demotivate that one candidate, but that they build a reputation in the market of someone who doesn't get back to you, and that can really damage their ability to attract high-quality candidates.' Hatch is asking young Australians to have their say on in this year's Hatch's Hotlist survey, which is focusing on ghosting and the use of AI in job hunting, as well as finding out which Australian employers people most want to work at. Last year's Hatch Hotlist from the start-up that pitches itself as Seek for Gen Z found that jobseekers want three things from employers. Culture was at the top of the list, fair pay was second and hybrid, flexible working was third. More than 3000 people voted for the companies they most wanted to work for, including Airtasker, Amazon, Canva, Google and Qantas. previously reported that young people applying for jobs were being brushed off, rejected and ghosted by companies and recruiters. Zoe Lo, 24, said she had applied for 100 jobs over a four-month period and was rejected or ghosted by roughly three-quarters of those. Of those jobs, some were graduate programs and others were full-time roles in marketing, PR or social media. 'For many graduate roles you have to do an online assessment round as well, so I did a few of those for different companies,' she said. In one recent video, the 24-year-old claimed that she was at the point in her job search where she did 'not care anymore'.At this point in time, she had applied to about 95 jobs and said that she knew it 'sounded bad' but she couldn't 'fake' caring about getting a job. Ms Lo said her mindset had shifted, noting that when she first started her job hunt she was worried about being unemployed and felt stressed about finding a job immediately.'Now I am like, OK I am unemployed, I have no income, but I'll be OK,' she said. Jacobs says he wants people to find the right job and team culture match through a 'more human experience — a bit like a dating app but without the heartbreak of ghosting'. Young people have also been taking to social media to share their frustrations.
Forbes
10-06-2025
- General
- Forbes
3 Reasons Why We ‘Ghost' And ‘Breadcrumb' Each Other, By A Psychologist
New research reveals the surprising reasons why 'ghosting' and 'breadcrumbing' are such commonplace ... More tactics in the online dating world. Swiping, scrolling and messaging have all but replaced courtship in today's dating scene. While these tools certainly make it easier than ever for us to connect with potential partners, they've also made it just as easy for us to disappear. 'Ghosting' — abruptly cutting off all communication with a potential partner without any explanation — has become unfortunately commonplace in modern dating. So has 'breadcrumbing,' the act of sending lukewarm, inconsistent signals of romantic interest just to keep someone emotionally led on, but with no real intention of pursuing a relationship. Both of these behaviors have the exact same result: they leave those on the receiving end hurt, confused and emotionally destabilized. Yet, somehow, despite how painful it is to experience these behaviors, many people still admit to doing them anyway. A February 2025 study published in Deviant Behavior offers us newfound insight into why this might be the case. Researchers Alexandra Cobzeanu and Cornelia Măirean sought to pinpoint the psychological and experiential factors that make people more likely to ghost or breadcrumb others. The results are as revealing as they are upsetting. Here are three of the study's major findings. Cobzeanu and Măirean's study involved 578 participants from Romania, all between the ages of 18 and 27. By means of a web-based survey, they found that people who had previously experienced ghosting or breadcrumbing were significantly more likely to engage in those same behaviors themselves. This means, statistically speaking, that if you've been ghosted or breadcrumbed before, you're much more likely to do it to someone else. This might seem incredibly counterintuitive. If we know how painful it feels to be treated in these ways, why would we be more likely to inflict that same hurt on someone else? Shouldn't firsthand experience lead to more empathy, not less? But as Cobzeanu and Măirean explained in an interview with PsyPost, 'These findings echo the Cycle of Violence theory, suggesting a potential cycle of negative online behaviors where victims may become perpetrators.' As research from the Journal of Human Rights explains, the Cycle of Violence theory is typically applicable in contexts of domestic abuse, gang violence or bullying. In the simplest of terms, it suggests that people who experience harm may unconsciously repeat similar patterns. This pattern of repetition doesn't necessarily mean that victims become perpetrators purely out of cruelty. Rather, it's likely because they internalize their experience of harm as something that's normal in order to make sense of it. In the context of digital dating, this means that ghosting and breadcrumbing may start to feel like the best way to cope with the experience of those very same behaviors. If someone has been repeatedly ghosted by others, they may stop seeing it as cruel altogether. Instead, they start viewing it as an accepted (or perhaps even efficient) way to end things. Similarly, a person who's been breadcrumbed might opt for similar tactics to preserve the sense of power they may have lost when on the receiving end. Or, it may simply serve as an effective way to avoid emotional vulnerability, since they may well still be raw from their own experience of breadcrumbing. This doesn't make the behavior normal or acceptable in any way. However, it does mean that these behaviors likely aren't isolated acts of inconsideration. In reality, the research suggests that they're symptoms of the larger emotional economy we're living in — in which empathy becomes more and more rare with enough exposure to emotional detachment. The second major predicting factor identified in the study was moral disengagement. Simply put, it refers to the mental gymnastics people perform to justify behavior that they know, on some level, is morally wrong. Cobzeanu and Măirean found that moral disengagement was a strong predictor of breadcrumbing and, albeit to a lesser extent, ghosting. This finding echoes much of what we already know about dark personalities in the context of modern dating. In 2022, I interviewed Miguel Clemente, who studied exactly that. He explained to me that the theory of moral disengagement 'seeks to answer the question of how it is possible that, in some specific moments in their lives, amiable, well-socialized and respectful people are capable of committing inhumane, truly cruel acts.' As Clemente suggests, moral disengagement doesn't always lead to cruelty in the traditional sense of the word. But, it does create space for behaviors that place self-interest above the well-being of others. Breadcrumbing, objectively, is a form of emotional manipulation. In this sense, moral disengagement shields your self-concept from the guilt that usually arises when knowingly manipulating someone else. Breadcrumbers probably try to convince themselves that they're 'just being friendly,' or 'keeping things casual' — despite the fact that they can clearly tell how seriously emotionally invested the other person is. In the case of ghosting, moral disengagement aids and abets the formation of rationalizations. Ghosters will tell themselves, 'We only went on a few dates,' and that, 'It's not that deep.' These self-affirmations only serve as blinders that shield their eyes from the reality of their choices, even when they're fully aware of just how cruel their silence is. The real danger of moral disengagement in these contexts is that it severs us from the human impact of our choices. In turn, we begin treating emotional interactions as logistical inconveniences — something we can manage, minimize or ignore — rather than genuine relationships that carry weight and consequence. The final psychological factor Cobzeanu and Măirean identified was toxic disinhibition: the tendency for people to behave in more impulsive, aggressive or emotionally detached ways in digital spaces than they would in person. The study found that, once again, this trait strongly predicted breadcrumbing, and was also associated with ghosting behaviors. Toxic disinhibition thrives in environments where facial expressions, vocal tone and immediate feedback aren't required (which is to say, essentially all of modern online dating). When communicating through screens and keyboards, you likely aren't regulating your empathy and self-restraint in the same ways you normally would in person. In other words, without the presence of another living, feeling human being in front of us, it's much easier to dehumanize — or, at least, detach from — the emotional consequences of our actions. In breadcrumbing, toxic disinhibition makes it easier to use people as a source of ego boosts or entertainment, rather than as a real person with real needs and feelings. Sending a flirty message here and there, just enough to keep them on the hook, may just feel 'playful' or 'harmless.' From their side of the screen, it's much easier to push aside the thought of the emotional toll taking place on the other. Ghosting, too, can be seen as much less problematic in online environments than it would in real life. Through apps and texts, disappearing without a trace feels more like closing a browser tab than ending a relationship. But, in the back of their mind, ghosters are acutely aware of the emotional reality of what they're doing. As such, toxic online disinhibition dulls the natural and necessary discomfort we'd feel if we had to walk away from someone face-to-face. It's replaced instead with numbness, indifference or, in some cases, nothing. Worst of all, online dating is largely fast-paced and low-stakes by design. People can fall into these patterns without much reflection at all. It might not always be malicious, but it's definitely not benign either. Repeated toxic online dating behaviors are often linked to machiavellianism. Take this science-backed test to find out if you show any of the associated traits: Machiavellianism Scale
Daily Mail
04-06-2025
- Business
- Daily Mail
Aussie business owner calls out 'influencer' for ghosting her after taking $600 worth of items in exchange for social media posts
An Australian small business owner has called out an influencer for ghosting her after accepting $600 worth of gifted clothes in exchange for social media posts. The Sydney founder of clothing brand Don't Tell Ma said she was excited when the content creator first reached out to collaborate on her new label. She claimed the influencer had promised to create multiple videos, stories, and reels across her platforms in return for the freebies. Having just launched her new business, the owner knew that exposure on social media could help her brand take off. 'I was new to social media and excited that she could do all this stuff for me just as a gifted collab so that was fun,' she explained. Thrilled by the opportunity, the owner sent over $600 worth of stock. 'I packed and shipped it out, and she told me when she had received it. She posted one story of the package... and then - nothing,' she said. Multiple messages followed, but the influencer never replied. To add insult to injury, the owner later spotted the influencer wearing her fashion label in a paid partnership for a completely different brand - a jewellery company. 'It's weird because I know (the influencer's) mum - she's a customer at our (family's) restaurant so that's pretty awkward,' the owner explained. 'My husband has been asking me if I want him to say anything, but I said no because I'm too shy.' By speaking out about her experience, the business owner - who's currently running a pop-up shop inside a shopping mall in Sydney - hopes to stop influencers from taking advantage of small businesses. 'Please stop because it takes a lot of hard work and energy to put into a small business,' she said. The owner remained tight-lipped about the influencer's identity - but it's understood the content creator has since removed all traces of her social media accounts. However, it didn't take long before some business owners came forward, claiming the same influencer had also promised to post content in exchange for freebies - but disappeared after receiving the parcels. 'Unfortunately our business experienced the same thing with her. We agreed on a collab for her wedding. I set up for her and have been ignored since. No reposts, tag or reply - nor any payment. She's done this with multiple vendors. So sad to take advantage of small businesses like this,' one shared. 'Same thing happened to us, she never reposted our content and we were there all day, and she even unfollowed us. Such a shame honestly,' another revealed. 'This happened to me. I sent out a package worth $120 and she just stopped replying - still no contact,' one claimed. 'Happened to me too, I'm very disappointed,' another added. Some people argued that small brands should stop giving out freebies entirely. 'I'm sorry but businesses should not be giving products/services to influencers for free,' one suggested. 'Maybe a discount, yes - but not for free. Do returning customers ever get free products? No. And they're the ones actually supporting you.' Meanwhile, one suggested: 'You should've sent her an invoice since she didn't fulfil her end.' The overwhelming support has comforted the Don't Tell Ma founder - but she's far from the only one learning the hard way. As more stories emerge from small businesses left unpaid, untagged, and ghosted, the post is sparking a broader conversation about accountability in influencer marketing - and the real cost of 'free' collaborations.
The Guardian
03-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
What's worse than being ghosted? Dating a ‘submariner'
Name: Submarining. Age: The first contraption that could really be called a submarine was built by a Dutchman, Cornelis Drebbel, in 1620 for King James I, and tested on the Thames. So submarining began in the early 17th century? The old meaning of submarining did. There's a new meaning of submarining? Hello? Is this past notes? No! It's pass notes. Up to the minute, on trend, breaking news. Of course there's a new meaning. Is it to do with Keir Starmer's warfare state and the nuclear deterrent? Nope. Is it about dating? It's usually about dating. It's about dating. Toxic dating. But it's not floodlighting? I remember that one – the oversharing of personal trauma in order to speed up intimacy. Correct. Nor is it throning … Dating on the loo? Dating someone for their social status. Ew. Go on then, what is this new submarining about? You know when you're dating someone and they suddenly disappear, without telling you why? Er, hello? Old news! I know that one, everyone does – that's ghosting! Wait, there's more. With submarining, they come back again after a period of time and act as if nothing happened. According to Vice, it may actually be worse than ghosting. I see: they resurface. And why do they do that? Not for air, I'm guessing. Often out of insecurity and boredom, Gigi Engle, a sex coach and author, told Men's Health when the term emerged. Still, it's nice that they returned. It's all back on! Hmm, maybe not. 'It's pretty unlikely that it's because this person actually cares about you,' said Engle. 'It's more likely that they want someone to talk to and make them feel good about themselves.' Sounds like submariners should be avoided. Indeed. They 'often crave intimacy but are terrified of the vulnerability it requires', Wendy Walsh, a psychology professor, told PureWow. 'A submariner wants to put somebody on the back burner so they can reach out to them later when they feel lonely.' Nobody puts baby on the back burner! And thanks for the warning – that's now a big red flag. Or, you might say, a nuclear deterrent. You might. So what is the best way to deal with submariners? Back to Engle, who says: 'If someone is actually into you, they don't disappear out of nowhere.' Got it. Ghost the submariners? Correct. Apart from Sean Connery in The Hunt for Red October. Do say: 'Yeah, long time no speak … Tonight? No, sorry, I'm busy … for ever.' Don't say: 'Periscope up.'
